₦airaland Forum

jojothaiv:
As it should be.

Africa should look within and leave those so called international bodies.

My thoughts as well...when push cones to shove, necessity becomes mother of invention! Those white supremacists with greed for other nation's properties never have good intentions...

zuby4real10:
The girl is heartless nd never loved him. In this economy she want him to buy expensive eatery food for 18 of them. He should quit that useless relationship ASAP.

She saw him like a trophy to be held up for her friends to see and be envious!! Oh, what a life!
More sensibly, the guy should have spoken out BEFORE they ordered the food...

grandstar:
All she needed to do was to beg the bobo that he shouldn't be angry.

Though I felt he should have knelt down for her, but considering all he has done for her, she should have been matured enough to accept the proposal anyway it went.

I mean, the car he gave her is grander than his own. That shop will also be bringing in some good kishi for her.

He should let her go. She is bad market.

You know poverty mentality, maybe it got into her head, no one in her family has "made" it like her or just trying to outdo a friend or family member cos she's fallen into some cool resources!
It happens...
Anyway, followup videos by the lady shows she's quite the vengeful type!!
Guy truly dodged a bullet

grandstar:
The girl is overdranatic.

Making a mountain out of a molehill.

Kaaaiiii....the guy dodged a bullet! Imagine this girl as wife and you're suddenly in a bad position...her mouth go drive man to depression!

madridguy:
I still don't get, fire alarm no dey the building? No emergency exits for the building? Are the security officers at the building no get small training on how to tackle fire outbreak before the arrival of the fire service....

Our problem in Nigeria is that we don't investigate incident like this properly and hold the culprits responsible for their negligence.

R. I. P to them all.

In fact complete negligence for simple safety rules and regulations is our normal. The result is what you see as the case of that outbreak with loss of life and property.
Prayers and claims of being children of God and use of charms, amulets and other religious memorabilia is what we trust to save us in situation of danger.
This careless attitude is in our homes, roads, waterways and Airways!
We have to change...

ricson11:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn6DO5vxqCs?si=jRtus9haNEBpEUfP

In an unusual twist, a man who could not be physically present due to distance reportedly sent his brother to propose to his girlfriend on his behalf.

The story has stirred conversations online about love, commitment, and unconventional relationships.

I suppose the guy himself lives on the moon!! What in heaven's name is this?? Smiles woll become grimaces soon going by today's trends!

Kalatium:
Thank you for your comment.

Yes, wives fight silent battles… but let’s not water down the storm husbands face.

I agree — women bleed silently too. But here’s the reality: while wives often carry invisible loads, husbands carry invisible loads with consequences that are far more brutal if they fail.

Why? Because society judges men not by their effort but by their results.
A struggling wife will often find sympathy, empathy, and help. A struggling husband? He’s ridiculed, shamed, or abandoned.

Let’s go point by point :

1️⃣ Pressure to Hold Everything Together
Yes, women juggle kids, meals, and home which is tough. But if a man fails to provide, the entire family’s survival is at stake. His “failure” becomes headlines in his home, community, and extended family.

2️⃣ Fear of Not Being Enough
Women fear desirability. Men fear uselessness. If his wallet dries up or his strength fades, society (and often his spouse) treats him as disposable.

3️⃣ Loneliness
Women crave affection and talks. Men crave respect. A wife can still be loved despite distance, but a husband stripped of respect feels like half a man.

4️⃣ Silent Exhaustion
Wives get exhausted. Husbands get exhausted too—but cannot stop. If a man “rests too much,” he’s branded lazy.

5️⃣ Emotional Starvation
Women long for appreciation. Men long for validation of their worth. That’s why losing a job or income drives so many men into depression or suicide.

6️⃣ Comparison Pressure
Yes, women compare themselves online. But men compare paychecks, careers, and property. And unlike women, their peers rarely comfort them—competition rules their world.

7️⃣ Invisible Sacrifices
True. But men also give up hobbies, passions, and even health chasing provision. He cannot boast of these sacrifices because “that’s what a man should do.”

8️⃣ Fear of Growing Apart
Wives fear fading romance. Husbands fear becoming irrelevant in their own homes—when kids, bills, and survival push them to the background.

9️⃣ Spiritual Weight
Women may feel they pray more. But men often feel guilty that even their prayers “don’t matter” because they lack results.

🔟 Silent Cries for Partnership
Women want partnership. Men want loyalty—even when they’re weak. A wife may carry extra weight for a season and still be celebrated. A husband who falters for a season risks being replaced.

The truth?
Both husbands and wives bleed silently. But the man’s bleeding is lonelier, less understood, and more fatal if ignored.

That’s why when men say they’re “rock solid,” they don’t mean they don’t suffer. They mean:
They must suffer in silence—because society has little patience for a “broken man.”

And that’s exactly why men’s battles deserve spotlight. Not to downplay women’s struggles, but to finally admit: husbands are bleeding, too—and often, they bleed to death.

Very balanced response...i like the fact that you agreed wives also have battles too....

Caaz:
Cheating men just got more than a trillion excuses to cheat.



Point one....pressure to provide,bills do not entirely falls on the men,most their wives support them financially by chesting some of the bills.
Women always bring something to the table,i m not Talking of Kids,but monetary assistance.

Reasons why men are always advised to marry women who have something doing.



I kinda disagree with number 3....A woman cannot take care of the home,house chores, the Kids,herself, businesses and the rest,yet the man still expect her to take care of him 100%.....

Haba is the woman a robot?
This here are the reason why women age quickly and looks older than their age.

Some men citing that as excuses to cheat.

Maybe you could read again and have better understanding, cos you just went off tangent!! Talk about the pressure a husband, father faces at home and offer support not flying off handle and talking about cheating! Pressure like these keeps you on your toes rather than thinking about cheating! Had OP said the kind of troubles that makes a man stay away from home it would have been a different perspective...please read again...thank you

PastorKosi:
It's also a good time to be aware not to use that word ''God said you are my wife''
Never lie in the name of God.
Come out plain if you want to ask that girl out more importantly, if you think she fits in as your wife. Blessings.

Thank you. God says HE WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING AND OBTAINS FAVOUR FROM THE LORD
So, it's up to men to find. No one should believe otherwise....never lie in the name of God

dollypi:
The parents had a dysfunctional marriage and the kids are replicating it unconsciously...those old marriages did not take the "till death do us part" section of their vows lightly...longevity in such a case is not a measure of quality.

You're absolutely right!!

RevenuesBoost:
It's really not cool that your sister had to go through this. I know you had the best intentions for her and easily trusted your friend to make a great husband.

It's a year already,
From the looks of things, there's already another lady in the picture.
Maybe the one the sisters recommend.

Hmmmm...it's his cuppa, he'll lay on the bed he made...

RevenuesBoost:
You're welcome 🤗

Why will a married man be seeking for his older sisters' consent before doing anything in his own marriage?

Who gave him this advice?

He is supposed to be seeking his wife's consent, not his sisters'

I still remember the advice my mother-in-law gave us, "there should be no third party in your marriage"
She said, we shouldn't involve her or any other person in our marital decisions.

Honestly the man's character beat me hollow! Very distressing. He was all lovey dovey before the marriage, immediately after he never discussed again, in her pregnant stage , no care, resorted to insult, always complaining she's not contributing to the house, meanwhile she set up a POS business yet he ran it aground. We later got to understand he wasn't receiving much from his workplace, this he never disclosed to the wife, so much of the time the sisters were giving him cash once a while so he loved to patronise them by being on their side...the situation is hell.
I can tell you the wife has moved to her parents for a year now and the young man hasn't made a move to go there to even plead a case or seek their return...

Angelfrost:
Chai... Na grown ass man dem tie like Okporoko fish for ground?!!

Even most lunatics never experience this kind treatment.


No wonder the Bible said "A good name is more valuable than rubies ".



This disgrace is eternal!

No girl in that town would want to marry him. He can't walk through the town and look straight up, can't enter any shop without being suspected...the list is endless...

LagosOrigin:
Na human being dem tie like goat dey wan roast

What a country

Come make him bend like banana...it's a serious matter!!

Kobojunkie:
So, you took a severally flawed guy expecting that by giving him your sister, somehow her presence would magically change him into a better individual?

Nothing changed him...no effort, no trying to muster even the slightest...just pride and extreme foolishness...honestly
I'd known him over 8 years before this and no indication of the characters he displayed. As the saying goes, unless you live with someone before u know who they really are

RevenuesBoost:
It isn't your fault, appearance is deceiving.
You won't know a person fully, until you live with that person.
Some men see Marriage Seminars as waste of time.

Meanwhile, it's to help prepare their minds for the journey ahead.

The truth is, some men were raised poorly, and they end up being the reason behind their failed marriages.

Thanks for the encouraging words. Yes the deception was high. And yes, we later realised he was raised poorly and needs consent from his older sisters to do anything...in fact all his older sisters are either out of marriage or nearly out of it! Meanwhile their parents marriage lasted till old age!! What an irony

RevenuesBoost:
Marriage Is Not for the Weak, Selfish, or Irresponsible Man

Let’s speak truth:

You can marry beauty.
You can marry loyalty.
You can marry a woman with a heart of gold.

But if you’re immature, emotionally lazy, or careless with her trust—
You didn’t marry a wife. You took advantage of a gift you weren’t ready to receive.

Because most marriages don’t fall apart from the outside—
They fall when the man inside the house stops showing up fully.


1. WEAK MEN AVOID HARD THINGS

A weak man shuts down in conflict.
Avoids tough conversations.
Runs from responsibility.

He calls her “emotional” when she just wants clarity.
He calls her “too much” when she just needs effort.

A real man leads with humility, not ego.
He doesn’t just provide—he protects emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

If pressure makes you disappear, you’re not leading—you’re escaping.



2. SELFISH MEN DRAIN THEIR WIVES

Marriage is not a one-way street.

If you expect peace but bring chaos…
If you demand respect but give none…
If you want her to submit while you do nothing worth following—
You’re not a husband. You’re a tyrant in disguise.

A selfish man wants a servant, not a soulmate.
But a great man? He lifts, leads, and listens.

Marriage requires sacrifice. If you're not ready to give, don’t expect to receive.




3. IRRESPONSIBILITY KILLS SECURITY

A woman can handle tough seasons.
She can handle less money, long hours, even failure.

What she can’t handle is instability—
– Financial recklessness
– Broken promises
– No vision, no plan, no consistency

Her respect dies the moment she realizes she has to carry what you keep dropping.

Responsibility isn’t glamorous—but it’s godly.
If you can't be trusted with pressure, don’t ask her to follow your lead.




4. MARRIAGE REQUIRES CHARACTER—NOT JUST CHARM

Being good to her when things are easy is the bare minimum.

Real character shows when: – She’s struggling
– You’re frustrated
– Life gets hard

If your first instinct is to withdraw, blame, or cheat—
You're not ready to lead. You're not even ready to love.

Marriage isn’t about control. It’s about commitment.
And that takes more than a smooth tongue and good intentions.




Final Thought: Women Don’t Leave Because They’re Cold—They Leave Because They’re Exhausted

Fellas:
If you think love is maintenance-free,
If you treat submission like superiority,
If you demand loyalty but give instability—
You’re not ready for marriage.

Because a woman doesn’t need a perfect man.
She needs a consistent one.
One who protects, provides, and pursues—with humility and honor.

If leadership to you means dominance—not service—
You don’t want a wife.
You want a servant.

And that’s not marriage—it’s manipulation.



Marriage is for men—not boys in grown-up clothes.
Show up.
Take responsibility.
Lead in love.
And build something worth keeping.

Have a blessed day.



Note: This write-up focuses primarily on men. Check out my thread for the perspective on women.

https://www.nairaland.com/8516244/wwww-marriage-not-unteachable-combative

Everything said here just tailor fits one guy i connected to one of my sisters...I regret that move till tomorrow!!
Matchmaking is not what I'm going to do again ever!!

It doesn't take long for me to attach a nickname to your tail once I know you.
My kids: Bambino Royale, Joe 90, Tiny Dancer.
My friends Rex(call him Wrecks your Effects), Glory glory Hallelujah, cool runner, mulatto, Ellaminator, Air Shogo(could nip any ball in the air), captain marvel(Marvel is his name), Bird nest(his beard looks like one) Faringdon kuda!
Dem too plenty...I just need to know you shortly...dazzol....nickname go follow you

calabaman:
Hello,

This is somewhat funny but as a part time educator I understand.

Imagine a student you are dictating to writing on their class notes... "FULLSTOP" rather than the actual punctuation mark "."

Can be quite annoying, but I guess it is what it is.

Please be patient with madam and calmly explain an obvious direction.

Sorry man.

Thanks sir! I don't take it to heart, I understand women to an extent now...thanks for the encouragement

Silentgroper:
Wetin you dey do with car at 17..

Sometimes life throws you into the deep end of. I was 17 and 4 months, dad forced to terminate his work, left home to search for alternative opportunities, I'd just left school, had to take the car, learn quickly then a month later was hitting the road to earn cash for the house...no event, no history!

calabaman:
When teaching someone something be you the husband or whoever.

You just have to be PATIENT

Thank you! And you need 125% of it and more! I taught my wife to drive, no shouting even though she deserved it! How can you ask what direction to turn a steering wheel? Even when I got an automatic drive for her she told me she thought automatic meant the car could imagine your thoughts and take initiative!! I never raised my voice...
15 years on she now "corrects" me when I'm behind the wheel, then with a cold voice I warned her to desist!
I also taught my 3 children how to cycle 🚲...from childhood! For that one they're better than me cos I still don't ride hands free!! Something even my daughter can!!

AmazingELixir:



Congratulations to him....he made a grand entrance into the afterlife.

On appearing at the pearly gates, he will be in SHOCK to hear he's not allowed in!!!

DeepSight:
I dont think even the theft of even several cars merits 20 years.

Well, that's how it goes there. 18 year old citizen was jailed 10 years for theft of less than 10k cedis...I was shocked...

DeepSight:
20 years is excessive for theft of a vehicle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wasn't just one theft unfortunately they were being monitored for a long time and seen they had stolen several cars and this led to the last in which they didn't escape...too bad.
BTW, it's common to hear such harsh sentences in Ghana, for some crimes one may perceive as small....

Immatex:
You must give the tenant notice to quite 6 months before expiration of his rent not after expiration of his rent.

Otherwise wicked tenants will abuse the loophole in the existing law to stay in your house free.

Currently have one who's used his disability (blindness) to abuse the period he's meant to stay!
At the renewal of his tenancy I informed him in writing there's no renewal after the current one he's to pay is ended...
Several reminders later and the rent expired in July, he's now quoting laws upandan...now lawyer is waiting for the extra 3 months he awarded himself to expire...the the law will take its course. Lawyer said he must pay.

Talkisneeded:
The whole purpose of a language is to communicate,if you desire perfect command of English,go and meet Soyinka and his peers

Alright...but I'm sure you won't write poor English and pass your exams!

The grammar self dey mourn! How do you HEALED from LOOSING a LOVE one?

Hmmmm...content creation should contain better content....

engineerboat:
I think you are the one hiding your head in hearsay with no evidence, but what you hear someone, that hear from some, that said someone said, isn't that?

Now read slowly what you quoted.

Hearsay?? Hearsay you say?? Anyway, long and short of these whole thing is that the doctrine of man has always existed and it's not surprising. I'll leave out other details...

engineerboat:
Can you show with Evidence where he said that Mr.

Oga, he said it many years ago, but if you're looking for hard evidence let me say that you're deliberately hiding your head in the sand. First, if he didn't say it, and suppose someone else whispered it and people started following it, it's up to him to stamp it out, so if it's been so for over 40 years that I know about it then he said it!

engineerboat:
Ignorance often leads to issue.

It a gone issue though but You would have asked from them did they hear from Pastor Kumuyi Directly, their response would have change this your view.

What Pastor kumuyi said was People should be disciplined enough to control what they feed their eye with.

His emphasis is on self discipline

He gave an illustration : You have a program to attend let say Sunday morning 9am, You're watching a movie or something else, then 9am its not ended, you will then say, let me wait a few seconds few seconds another program, and that will also affect your other activities.

My brother stop defending a situation everyone knew! He told them no TV or radio and everyone followed...few rebelled and soon the law was relaxed to allow members have it so as to listen and watch his telecasts and radio programmes...we are well aware of everything...

ednut1:
How can humans allow another human dictate for them on how to live theirs lives. Something that is not even in the bible. Nawa o. For years people who were not compatible not know themselves were getting married. This kind end time church ehn

Many lived in loveless marriages and frustration just to please so called men of god!! Had someone challenged this the response would have been the person is challenging God's word!!
That's how the TV and radio thing also went!

Stephen0mozzy:
As "Socrates" said in 1978.... Try to marry a woman who is crazzie about you sha. Also boost your seduction game... Work out, even if na daily jogs, smell good steady.

If she constantly sees you dripping, she wouldn't want you taking all that hotness out. She'll want to keep what's hers.

This applies to wives too. Oh, never beg for sex.

I'm feeling the art of seduction has waned so much in relationship these days. Even if you're an Olympic athlete, doesn't pull much as it's only if gifts are showered she'll consider you for the game!
Forgotten that it's when there's danger she snuggles close? When danger is averted she flees, her next appearance is when there's a threat, and she's all snuggles again....I might be wrong...