₦airaland Forum

Maxflame ,
Great advice. It is a good idea to spend a lot of time away from home. That will ease the tensions. that is what my older sisters did when when they lived with my parents. It worked well for them.

Wiseguy,
You have some great advice here. I hope it will help you to be strong and stand up to your mom ( in a polite & respectful way).
Don't let your mom emotionally blackmail you. As you can see all that stress is not helping your health.

Also make sure you marry someone from a very nice, loving and supportive family so that you don't end up with two sets of TERRORIST for parents.


Just because someone is physically able to have children doesn't automatically qualify them to be good parents. Don't second guess yourself. Parents can be bad people too. See them for who they are. Not what you want them to be. Remember you can't change them or change yourself to please them.

Great advice Abuguy64 and thelma2!

These are very sad stories. The saddest part is the grief that you must feel for never really experiencing a nurturing loving mom.

All you can do is:

1. Forgive the mom for being an incompetent mother.
2. Never forget she will always betray the natural role of a mom
3. Take good care of your health so that you can be able to take care of your husband and children. (You certainly cannot depend on her for
any help)
4. Don't depend on her for anything at all. So you will not experience the pain of betrayal.
5. Do your best to break the cycle of abuse by loving and supporting your own children.
6. You did nothing to deserve this abuse and there is nothing you can do to change her.
7. Keep in mind only God can change people.

Nicetohave,
Thanks. Allergies can really reduce your quality of life and productivity. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Rolly,
I am happy to help. Let us know how this helps you. Try this website, www.wolfeclinic.com, for a list of alkaline foods. I only use this website for the list of foods. I have not purchased any products or followed any other advice from them.

Wishing you good health.

Rolly,

I am not a doctor but i am an allergy sufferer. I just found a diet that has helped me tremendously.

I is very simple . I make sure I eat lots of organic alkaline fruits and vegetables every day. My husband and I are amazed how well it works. Reasearch this for yourself and get a list of the alkaline foods for your area. You will be surprised how much better you will feel right away without any medication for allergies.

It is hard to be productive when your are suffering. Good luck.

Let me add my 2 cents,

I am a mom, if Seun and Timmy were my sons I would encourage them to live at home long enough to get to the financial level they need . It is challenging starting a business. They should move out and when they can buy their first house and have gotten their business to the level they need it to get to. Many wealthy families provide their children lots of money to get started. What is wrong with helping your child get started in life?

Vichel ,
Thank you.

Hotstepper thanks for making me feel welcomed in Nairaland.

Pendelite,
You give great advice. You should have taken over for Dear Abby with a Dear Pendelite column.

@hotstepper,
I may have some Nigerian ancestors that I don't know about. But I am Jamaican-American. I like Nairaland better than the Jamaican Forums I have visited. Nigerians seem to have alot in common with Jamaicans. Maybe alot of Jamaican slaves came from Nigeria. I have no info about the Nigerian Jamaicn connection.

Vichel,

I am sad more people don't know anything about Africa. I think this fact affects how us as Black people feel about ourselves.

I did not know how nice Africa was until I met an African college student who was my sister's class mate. She was from Nigeria. I was impressed when I saw pictures of the town she came from in Africa. It looked like Jamaica or Florida. Because we don't ever get any info about Africa other than crisis photos I had no clue how beautiful Africa was. I hope that will change in the near future. Maybe Hollywood will work in Africa for movies and TV shows to change our image. Hollywood could use some new story lines. Their usual movies and TV shows are kinda played out .

America has great economic opportunities. But, after living here for most of my life it is still hard to find a nice intergrated town with good schools for my children. Racism is always an issue. Even finding a good intergrated church is a major problem. In America we have stuff but community is hard to find. It is just every man for himself.

Living in America has me thinking about this all the time.

@aqua,
That is very funny advice. I am having a good laugh.

Seaun thanks for sharing a slice of Nigeria with us armchair travelers! Nigeria is beautiful !

I guess we all need help. I tried to stay off today. As you can see i was not successful. I guess there are worse thing to be addicted to.

Why am I addicted to Nairaland? I am not Nigerian. I love finding out how people live in other countries like Nigeria.
I suspect the cause of this addiction is the need to get information about places like Nigeria without the negative slant of the US media. This could be the reason. But knowing this is not enough to help me quit. Help!

When we pray for our selves and our families every day lets remember to pray for Timmy. God knows his whole story and he can help.

Timmy, I understand your situation. Life can be difficult sometimes. Find a good verse or 2 from the Psalms to pray every day.

I am a miracle survivor myself. I always pray for people who hurt me and ask God to help me to forgive them right away.

I will pray Psalm 27 for you. God bless you Timmy. I hope God will encourage you everyday with kindness even from strangers just when you need it.

@nferyn, I am trying to hold back from going Ghetto on your SORRY ASS! If I was not A Christian I would!!!!

I am a Christian first and a black woman and I am proud to be one. I agree with the news as it was reported by LifeSiteNews.

I know your your statement was meant be offensive!

I understand that as a liberal /atheist you believe you are superior to Christians!!!! But That is your problem and I refuse to make it mine. It is your life and your eternity !

Take your fight up to God because he created the rules in the Bible that Christians follow. Obviously you are offended by God!

Be man enough to do that. I am so through with your sorry self!!!!!!!!!

I am only sharing news I have read, seen and heard on the internet, TV and radio. I did not create them myself . Do your own search on line and you can find the news first hand.

@nferyn,
Canadian Court Rules Bible Verses Against Homosexuality Are ‘Hate’ Speech
Summary: A judge in Saskatchewan has ruled that a man who placed Bible verses about homosexuality in a newspaper ad was guilty of inciting hatred.

In a ruling that has received little media coverage, a judge on the Court of Queen’s Bench in Saskatchewan, Canada has ruled that a man who put Bible verses about homosexuality in a newspaper ad was guilty of inciting hatred against homosexuals.

The December 11, 2002 decision was in a response to an appeal by the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission over an ad that Hugh Owens placed in a Canadian newspaper. Owens was ordered to pay $1,500 to three homosexuals over the ad.

According to LifeSiteNews, churches are not only admonished against recommending certain candidates or political parties, but they also face crackdowns for speaking out on issues such as abortion and same-sex marriage.

Most West Indians, and Africans that you meet are very hard working people. They are the only people I have met who work 2 or 3 jobs .

But our government leaders SUCK BIG TIME!! I don't know what they are doing with the fruits of our labor.

Look at India with all their crazy corruption, crime and overwhelming poverty how come they get all the outsourcing and international investment . It makes no sense to me. After 500 years of slavery and colonialism, english is a native spoken language in most black counties. It seems we should have a good shot at these economic opportunities. Maybe it all comes back to the fact that,our government leaders SUCK BIG TIME!!

As black people, we need to find a way individually to take advantage of the global market place and change our reputation one person at a time.

@obong,

I am Jamaican, I will be the first to tell you Jamaica is , DANGEROUS!!!!!

We don't get any press coverage unless there is a hurricane. The only reason why the hurricanes are covered is because there are more Jamaicans living in Brooklyn, NY alone and the US in general than live in Jamaica.

Jamaica is beautiful, I have great memories of it. But, the only positive press Jamaica gets is from the tens of milliions of $$ they spend bombarding Americans with advertising. I wish it was a nice place worthy of good press. If it was I would be living there.

The same armed robbery of homes that have been mentioned about Lagos in this forum happens in Jamaica too. In Jamaica, windows porches and doors of very beautiful homes must have iron bars for protection. It is sad.

@ocho,

Canada is liberal in the sense that they made gay marriage legal and made it illegal for churches to teach from the Bible about homosexuality.

Compared to Nigeria and Jamaica they seem to have the opposite opinion of homosexuality. It is interesting when you think that a pastors can be arrested for preaching from the Bible. I guess freedom of religion is not important in Canada.

Canada has friendly people who hate Americans. Canada is beautiful. It has very few slums compared to the US. Compared to the US Canadian poor people live better than poor Americans.

BUTTT! They are extremely LIBERAL socially! I think they are trying to copy the Europians especially Sweden. They just legalized gay marriage. It is illegial for Pastors to read the section of the Bible that speaks against homosexuality.

Hey M4Malik,

It seems like you are a serious Christian. It must be hard being a Christian in such a secular country like Sweden. How do you feel about all the very liberal social changes taking place in Sweden ?

I just had some delicious ackee and saltfish on Saturday! What country are you from?

Here is the recipe. I have to give you the recipe from this wesite because i don't measure anthing when I cook.
Enjoy!

Ingredients
1/2 pound Saltfish
1 can ackees
1 tablespoon oil or 4 slices of bacon
1 medium onion
black pepper taste

Directions

1. Soak Saltfish in cold water overnight.
2. Pour off water, add fresh water and cook until
tender or sufficient salt has been removed. Remove bones and flake Saltfish. Meanwhile, allow ackees to drain.
3. In a frying pan, sauté bacon (if used) or heat oil. Add onion, flaked Saltfish, and ackees.
4. Simmer for 5-10 minutes and sprinkle with black pepper.


Cooking time: 25 minutes
Serves: 4

Mochafella
Thanks for the update. Iran's human rights history and their hatered of the West and Israel makes them a dangerous neighbor.

It has been said that Iran's current leader is the former US hostage taker in 1979 is enough to disqualify them from the right to have nuclear weapons. Obviously a violent criminal who does not have any regard for human life should not be trusted with such dangerous weapons.

Wildcat, I did not realize you live in the US. ingredients like coconut milk you can find at a West Indian,Jamaican, Asian, or Caribbean/ grocer if there are any in Milwaukee. You can also find it in the Asian section of any grocery store. Pelau Chicken is delicious. I have had Trinidadian pelau chichen and this recipe is Trinidadian.