Kay17:


No, you don't seem grasp what love really is. No justice was done. If Agape and Philia are both love, then something within the characteristics of love must be binding them together. The substance of love has to be universal between the two loves, hence all love is equal. The love might be different because they are expressed to different persons, namely: God and man.

So what's the difference between what you've said and this:

jearile: ...Agape is God to man, man to God which is initiated based on faith while Philia is man to man

I find out most times people just like to over-stress simple issues... Improving on an idea or statement is different from finding fault even when there isn't just because you want to make a point.

Kay17:


But the fruits of tolerance and coexistence is "care, forgiveness, patience, obedience etc", but tolerance is not the same with love. So if we mix up the results/actions for the subjects, we will not get the correct picture of it.


So again, I ask what is the similarity between agape and philia?

Obviously, it'd be futile trying to wet a dry stone... Have made my point, and asking me to repeat again and again what I think I've done justice to would be unnecessary - got more pressing issues to attend to.
Notwithstanding, it'd do me no harm to know what you think is "Agape" and "Philia"

Kay17:


You didn't say what made the two similar and under the umbrella LOVE

Agape is God to man, man to God which is initiated based on faith while Philia is man to man... The similarity is in the fruits they produce - care, forgiveness, patience, obedience etc and judging by that they proclaim the very nature of God which is summarised in one word - LOVE.

.

Kay17:


but would you say Agape is equal to Philia? if not what makes them both "love"?

These are just nomenclatures... But on a lighter note, without Agape (Divine) there's no Philia (brotherly affection). That's why a man out of greed and frustration would think of using family members or neighbours for money rituals.

Love in all entirety (kinship, philia, eros, agape) carries the very nature of God and if God is not the one controlling you, definitely not love but something else will usurp your emotions.
So without all contradictions, it'd be a misplacement of intuition to think of love without first acknowledging God - This is beyond religion. We grow in love each day in as much as we draw closer to God each day. The seed of Love sprout its fruits - forgiveness, kindness, meekness, patience, selflessness, giving etc. How can you ask him to just forgive somebody that raped his daughter and as if that's not enough, you now say I should also bless (speak well of) that person? How can you ask her to forgive and still care for her husband after she contracted HIV as a result of his waywardness? These and many more most of the time does not actually make 'sense' to the common man but it takes only a life controlled by God to be controlled by Love.
So "Let's talk about Love" is like saying "Let's talk about God."

ggrin:
Her name is Esther and she bleach, does that mean she is Established? ☹

excuse me sir, pls wat angle is that coming from?

TO ALL MEN, by Collins Honey
1. Before you start a relationship with a lady, you
must think carefully about what you are about to
do. A relationship is not something you should
rush into or handle lightly.
2. Are you ready for a relationship with her?
Are you emotionally, mentally and spiritually mature to meet her needs?
3. Being sexually attracted to her means absolutely
nothing. It isn’t a sign of likeness, love or any other thing your mind may come up with. It may just be your hormones messing with your mind. A woman is more than her body and her sexuality.
She has a life which you should be able to blend with. Can you do that?
4. This lady has a history. Can you handle it? She has a past. Can you handle it? Can you handle her mistakes, failures and weaknesses? Can you handle her dreams without being intimidated and becoming jealous?
5. She already had a life before she met you. Can you fit into and help improve her life?
6. Love is commitment. Are you ready to commit
your life to helping her grow and become all that
she can be, by God’s grace?
7. Is she valuable enough for you to devote a large
portion of your life towards the accomplishment of
HER dream? Are you ready to pour your resources
into making her all the Lord plans for her to be? If
you are not ready, don’t just bother.
8. Before you open your mouth to say ‘I love you’, ask yourself if this is not just a moment of ‘emotional madness’. A lady needs much more than ‘I love you’. She needs your commitment.
If you are not ready to make that commitment that
will lead to marriage, please leave her alone in
peace and stop wasting her time and resources.
Do you agree?

Ps: That you were jilted once or twice or be it as it may shouldn't make you less than the man you are - don't sabotage your future as a result of your past experiences. Learn the lesson and continue to be the gentleman you are. Some incidences are better experienced as a single than with the mother of your children. The problem we have nowadays is that we think we know too much and our ignorance takes the better of us; majority are mere copy cats, the fact that it's common does not necessarily make it right - think before you 'do as they do.'
Don't be a gentleman just because you are eyeing one girl in your neighbourhood; be a gentleman because you're truely a gentleman - any time, any day, anywhere and any how. ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME! As bitter as it may sound, the fault might just be from you - FIX YOURSELF!

Gorgeous58:


Great! Wonderful analysis!

Thank you madam!

Gorgeous58:
I don't believe in The Power of Love, I believe in The Power of commitment. I don't believe that Love moves mountains, I believe that mountains are moved by sheer commitment. The truth is, it is easy to love something but uncommitted to it, and in the end, lose it. But you can commit to what you don't love and never lose it, and often, end up loving it.

Practical example:

You do 36 courses in order for you to obtain a degree. You might find yourself loving only 10 of those courses, but your commitment to be a graduate is what will get you through the 26 that you don't love. And you find that after graduating, when you join the workforce, you actually love being a Geologist, working in some mine, when in varsity, you only loved 10 out of 36 courses you were doing to obtain your BSc qualification.

Equally, you can love someone very much, they may mean the world to you. But if you cannot commit to this person, if you are incapable of sticking to the principle of commitment where they're concerned, you will ultimately lose them, because no one, no matter how tolerant they may be, will accept being one of very many, particularly when there's no mutual agreement to include the many. So with all the love you have for it, you can still lose something, if you lack commitment.

So for me, the idea that Love conquers all, romantic though it may sound, is actually unrealistic. Commitment, not love, is what sustains things. You're more likely to enjoy the benefits of committing to what you initially didn't love, than loving what you initially and still can't commit to, because commitment might lead to love, whereas lack of commitment is guaranteed to result in losing that which you love.

But my man has both! I Love him and am committed to us!

Nice post but I think there's a little misconception. The true definition of love is incomplete without commitment. Once commitment is missing, it's termed feelings. Feelings change from day to day, hour to hour, even moment to moment. Feelings cannot be trusted, not cus they change so often, but cus they also lie.
So in nutshell, there's NO LOVE WITHOUT COMMITMENT. Forget about how's it's been interpreted nowadays in movies... U see it's like giving; there's no love without commitment but there can be commitment without love. He/she can be committed for several ulterior motives that aint necessary based on love.
Love may look or sound so simple but it's very deep...

icebebe:
Boy:
I broke up with her.
His Best Friend:
What happened?
Boy:
She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend:
What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy:
Well,...for one.. She only cared about her
appearance. Always had to look good,
always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend:
So, you broke her heart because she wanted to
keep your eyes locked on her?
She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest
girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I
see..
Boy:
Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking
where I am, who I’m with, telling
me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend:
So,you broke her heart because she cares about
your well being? Because she
cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is
losing you. I see..
Boy:
But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say
something slightly mean.
She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend:
So, you broke her heart because she has feelings?
And because she just
wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy:
I.. Well! You know,
she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other
girls! She’s so
annoying! I had to hide it from her.
His Best Friend:
So, you broke her heart because she just wanted
you to commit to her?
She thought you
were faithful, but you lied so she could find out
later and hurt even
more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most
to love only her. I see..
Boy:
Well, she..
His Best Friend:
You broke up with her because she’s good for you?
She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken
now because you were selfish.
Are you proud?
Boy:
I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was
happening..
What happened to me?
His Best Friend:
You lost the girl that loved you like no one else
could.
You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever
wanted was you.
THAT’S what happened.. My point here is straight,
many men out thr I've lost the woman who truely
love em for the women who disguisely love em,
and its why you have more broken homes out thr
than a happy home.

Both the boy and girl still need to grow up, I don't care how old they are.
Ideally, you don't let go of sb you cherish so much based on some 'overdo' emotional tendencies that can be properly managed - which takes only a guy with applied knowledge to understand how to handle.
Secondly, by knowledge in order not be very vulnerable, mostly, ladies are advice not to make a cuff around a guy. In as much as u show u care, reserve some for dignity sake so that your value will increase. Our emotions are meant to be controlled.

PS: don't make yourself look vulnerable or easily dispensible in the eyes or mind of any bf/gf

classiclee:
Am 18years and I have known this Girl since when I was 13... When I was 15 she told my brother she love me, my brother told me and by that time I hissed because I never had feelings for her but I wasn't staying in my parents house the area where she resides now so since when my brother told me I have been generating feelings for her but it wasn't thick,she showed me love come to my house to cook for me ,if she heard I have headache she would run to meet me ,maybe she was wanting me to approach her since then we chat.Almost 5years I don't think she has feelings for me anymore.Till now even when am passing there area and she's talking to a guy serious she tries to hide her face even if I don't see her she gives me a kick that the guy sef go wonder .Now she dosent send me anymore she talk to guys and even hugging them when am coming and it looks like piercing an arrow on My chest because of her I don't play with girls..Because I love her.
But I remebered my brother asked her why she loved me and she said
I am The Gentle Type,Smart,Black and Shiney and look young even than my age
Ave tried so many things to remove her from my mind but it seems negative ...
What should I do
Please am here for help not beef

Go to the drawing board and begin by knowing the proper and true meaning of love and in love.
Don't act like 'everybody else'!
What I see is two 'children' that are still dealing with infatuation.

Ukutsgp:
Can you ever do it? Can you date or marry a retired prostitute? Would you even think about it? As for me, i can never try it because of reasons best known to me.

A 'retired prostitute' is still a prostitute; the only difference is how she goes about the business.
But a 'converted prostitute' which I guess you mean, is no longer but used to be a prostitute.
Now to the question: Since I don't patronise prostitutes whether retired or not, then the idea of dating let alone marrying one is absurd - impossicant (impossible + cannot).
But speaking of a converted prostitute, I can't really give a conclusive response to that. When I deal with people, I often try my best possible to keep their past where it belongs - PAST! If it's the will of God and I'm convinced I can bear the cross, so be it.

MizMyColi:

She Just pinged me and asked me questions I'm really not in the best position to answer now.

OmiGosh!! Can't believe I'm saying this.

See screenshot below, however, the text reads:

”Give me your views on what a relationship is. What it should be. What it isn't. Nd if its what fighting for"

Thanks in anticipation.

Please mature contributions only, please.


*modified*

Please, anyboby can comment. Bikonu.

Reading informs and reforms a person and I think she isn't too young to read. I would suggest you recommend one or more books by proven authors to her, that will go a long way in educating her.

Relationship is not an affair we indulge in because 'everybody' is into it. Let her know, before she get involved, she must be willing to take responsibility of her actions - so shine your eyes, shine your heart, take your time, go for knowledge first, be a good observer and then use your brain, very important.
What relationship is? It is a commitment between two healthy people with common motives and aspirations that must be defined. It's not agreed upon based on sympathy or sentiment. When you realise it's becoming unhealthy for your liking, please ball out without apology - it takes two to tangle.
What it should be, what it isn't, and if its worth fighting for? It should be for expressing the love we have and sharing it with people we care about in a special way - because you can't give what you don't have.
It should be for growing bigger and better; staying close to somebody who brings out the best in you - your best smiles, chuckles, potentials etc
Relationship shouldn't be for satisfying your libido - pre-marital sex whether we like it or not is the easiest gateway to heartbreak, take it or leave it.
Relationship is not for transferring personal responsibilities (financial, spiritual, domestic etc) to the other. You train others how to treat by the way you treat yourself.
Worth fighting for? Well, it depends. I won't advice a lady to ever 'fight' for a guy or to keep a guy. No right man in his right senses will just throw away an iphone 6+, in terms of value. Yes, you can do your best to save your relationship but not when it's obvious he's not complementing your effort. You can force a horse to the river but you can't force her to drink water.
In summary, love yourself first, to the extent of refusing to accept anything less than the best - don't go for LOSERS!

Read correct BOOKS

BreezyRita: 1. Thou shall not date any guy out of sympathy. It is not worth it. It has never worth the pain. Ladies beware!

2. Thou shall not do revenge relationship a.k.a let me show my boyfriend I can flirt too. Ladies, that is inflicting more injuries on yourself

3. Thou shall not depend on any man for your daily needs. It has brought more pains than joy to some ladies. Ladies, please!

4. Thou shall never fight over a man. Such men usually don’t have regard for ladies. Ladies, you can ask around if you are in doubt!

5. Thou shall not remain in a violent relationship. You are supposed to be his sweetheart not a punching bag. If he’s looking for whom to punch, refer him to Mike Tyson. Ladies, abi?

6. Thou shall not give IT to him. If he wants IT that desperately, he should put a ring on it. Funny enough, men can wait if they see your worth it. True!

7. Be bold when men toast you. Stop cutting flowers or drawing circles with your leg. Enjoy the ‘toasting’. Don’t forget to pay attention to the pick up lines. Some pick up lines can crack your ribs.

8. If you are not sure of your man especially if the relationship is still new, never take your girlfriend to his house or give her his number or BB pin. Odikwa very risky!

9. As soon as you can, let your man show his face to your people. Your sister or brother or mother. This is very key.

10. Material possessions are good but never let them be the number one factor in choosing a man.

11. Do not forget the golden rule. Always sit like a woman. Some men act like babies when a woman is not properly seated. You know what I mean!

12. Never think you can trap a man with good sex. Fou fou fou… foul! It is an aberration.

13. Be good to men but be firm. Yes firm but don’t scare them away.

14. Men are not in short supply. Don’t let them deceive you. Don’t believe anything in the contrary. Don’t be stampeded into a relationship.

15. If your purpose for financing a man is to keep him, that could be a big mistake. Finance for the right reasons.

16. Men are not the same. Don’t listen to “men are the same jare!” It’s a lie! How many men have you met out of about six billion people on earth? You see am nau, abi?

17. Adventures can be sweet. However, never embark on a long trip to meet a man without informing someone. Never!

18. Guys have a way of saying “don’t let anybody know about us yet.” If the relationship is up to three months and counting,somebody should know about it jor! Better things, they no dey hide am.

19. They say good girls love bad boys. And as a good girl, you are looking for a bad boy to love? OYO for you! Let bad girls love bad boys and good girls love good boys. Nobody should use your head to catch a bullet.

20. Enjoy being single. It does not last forever.

These commandments are not grievous... She that hath an ear, let her ear ooooh!
Wisdom in oppose to experience is the best teacher.

God bless the writer.

Ezegozie: I am really asking because i think some Boy's are being used to achieve financial needs.

Take for instance, a student that is probably not going to marry in the next 5yrs.
And he is in a so called relationship that does not involve sex or any romantic activities.
But he spends on her, he takes her out and pay for her private needs.

Let me ask you officially

what do you gain from such a parasitic relationship ?


If you are not into sex, because of religious purpose, then why are you into a relationship?

Why not save the money and give to the orphanage and receive blessings, if you are so
religious?

And for the girls, If you are not ready for sex before marriage, why are you ready for demanding from your boyfriend before marriage?

Indeed you've raised a very rational question that really needs pondering about. Misconceptions are having more airwaves cus so many have blatantly refuse to seek knowledge. Two things are involved: either you're in love or you're in love with the idea of being in love.
Misplaced priority is one thing I find common in this kind of emotional escapade.
First and foremost, an "intimate" relationship (in contrast to an affectionate relationship) should not, I repeat, SHOULD NOT be initialized with the complementary sex whom you do not see whether in the present or future as a possible would-be spouse. Secondly, that you're in a relationship with your possibly would-be spouse, be it as it may, is not a transfer of his/her own financial responsibilities to the other. Please get this very clear: WE DO NOT PLACE DEMANDS ON ANYBODY!
The whole idea of giving is mutual and not on duress. Love cannot be fully expressed without giving (tangibles are very necessary).
Now let's talk about sex...
For the ladies: when you impose all your financial responsibilities on a guy, invariably in the spirit of equity, you shouldn't dare object his sexual advances as a consolidation or his consolation if need arises.
Note: Only immature and ignorant species find themselves in the aforementioned scenario.
A knowledgeable gentleman will not encourage a love affair with a "business woman".
A knowledgeable lady will not throw herself to a man, all in the name of "I want this, I want that" shenanigans.
Only those who are "more knowledgeable" than the Manufacturer see coital involvement as no big deal.

Ps: Trust yourself for yourself and keep yourself for yourself. That guy/girl can disappoint you!

itstpia1:


no, i have some in the aforementioned endeavours, so its not new.

kk... That's good

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iamodenigbo1: interesting,am following

Do u belong?

tpia1: no they dont.

why do you ask?

Just a bit curious... Perhaps who knows you might be the first to bring such privilege into your family

tpia1:


could be due to nature or nuture [environment], in the ones you've seen.

Do your parent/guardian fall in any of the titles (pastor, bishop, apostle, reverend, deacon and so on) I aforementioned in the first post?

tpia1:

worst in what sense?

In the sense that they are more deprave and wayward than their peers whose parents are not even Christians.

Well, it is a phrase I heard more often than while growing up. People tend to say "pastors children are the worst."

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Hello...
Please I would really appreciate it if anyone with an idea of the subject will be so kind to share be it a web link or via any resource.
I've tried using google but I haven't been successful yet...
Thanks!
BTW: I need at least 10 benefits

Congratulations!
Blissful married life to the couples

All the children or wards of pastors, reverends, bishops, apostles, evangelists, prophets and prophetess shout a thunderous hallelujah!
Calvary greetings from the King of kings and Lord of lords to as many at the reach of this post - God bless you!
I'm very privileged to be a biological child of a pastor. In case you share this same similarity with me, you are in the right niche - this thread is for you.
Without any contradictions, the aforementioned privilege has a different experience for different folks but notwithstanding, the blessings outnumber the pain.
At first, I wished my father was not a pastor. The displeasure was so strong because I wasn't ready to grow. What wouldn't really be an issue in other families was already a standard in mine which you must not go against unless you don't want to live in that house peacefully. Attending church services was a must; partaking in fasting and prayer was a must; belonging to a service unit in church was a must and so on. Couple with the belief that because your father is a pastor automatically you a son/daughter of Jesus Christ so any mistake you make they blow it out of proportion - "shebi na pastor pikin em bi..." And like I said, because I wasn't ready to grow, I felt that privilege was a stumbling block to mingling with the world without anyone raising an eyebrow - watch whatever I want to watch on TV, listen to any song I like, dance all the "danceable", woo my complementary sex like my peers etc.
"That you are in church does not mean you're in touch with the head of the church - Jesus Christ." Until I understood that the race is individualistic, every man will answer for himself/herself whether your father is a bishop or reverend, I began to cherish that privilege.
Saul was not a prophet but when he found himself in the midst of prophets, he also did prophesy. Being a child of an anointed man of God, I'm not talking about a man who anointed himself; what rubs on him as far as you're connected to him spiritually rubs on you. So it's not business as usual contrary to public opinion when you see a son/daughter of a man of God rise up to fulfil the same ministry perhaps in another dimension like his father.
Even when you don't feel like praying on your own, there's somebody to disturb your sleep because it's time to pray. A pastor's house is a house of prayer - if it's not for one sister, it'd be for one brother or for both a husband and wife.
You have somebody who's very close to you, guiding the way you go about your Christian life. Oh what a privilege!
There are some other episodes to talk about... Feel free to share your own experience.

Ps: Is it true that pastor's children are always the worst?

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Success of any marriage whether arranged or not depends on motive and understanding.
Is the motive based on love or business in order to protect the family high status? Or is it based on tribalism? etc...
The right motive will ignite understanding and willingness to preserve and protect the marriage commitment. It'd make you seek help from God.
An "arranged" marriage is simply your parent suggesting a would-be spouse on your behalf; if it then becomes a choice you must accept under duress whether you like the supposed spouse or not, it's now beyond what it seems.
NB: There's no luck in marriage!