₦airaland Forum

Forgiveness is not just about when it happen. If your forgive doesn't matter if it happen before or after.

Refusing to forgive is a sin. If we receive forgiveness from God, we must give it to others who hurt us. We cannot hold grudges or seek revenge. We are to trust God for justice and forgive the person who offended us. That does not mean we must forget the offense, however; usually that's beyond our power. Forgiveness means releasing the other from blame, leaving the event in God's hands, and moving on.
"We may resume a relationship with the person if we had one, or we may not". Its the essence of forgiveness.

Sometimes in certain situation men lie or hide things to avoid confrontations. Just the look of discouragement and pain from women, they tend to just not to say anything at all. It only means that men are more sensitive deep inside. Specially when it comes to their close ones. Its the opposite of how women thinks.

To wiscul, my presence is not the reason why he behaves this way! Its the product of all the unresolve issues that he had through out his life. So if he wants to solve or repair, its all up to him. He is free do whatever he wants to do in his life. The more u hold the bird tight, the more it will die...If his happiness is to go on then i will be happy for him. So my point is.... its his choice...

To wiscul, my presence is not the reason why he behaves this way! Its the product of all the unresolve issues that he had through out his life. So if he wants to solve or repair, its all up to him. He is free do whatever he wants to do in his life. The more u hold the bird tight, the more it will die...If his happiness is to go on then i will be happy for him. So my point is.... its his choice...

He lost his job that time in Singapore. 1. I have a question to u wiscul, why dont you try to ask this guy by your self so that you can get clear answer from him?
If he gives you answers then why you all in doubt? It's him who can decide not me. Even if i wanted him to stay and if he refuse, do u think i can make him on my side? If he wants to go back to his wife then he will do it! Even tones of girls buzz him, no one can stop him. If you are confident that he still have strong feelings and love for his wife then why you are all feeling insecure. If you do even trust him then go for him....now whose confuse here? I wish u knew the bottom line why he became the person you cant control now, he is not a puppet to do whatever u want him to do. A man who is now near to 40's is brainless? backboneless? or maybe he is just starting to free himself to those people whose been dominating and interfering his personal life (married life)!

love and true love, is it different?
when u feel love that means there is passion in it.

Is there fake love? u cannot say its love if its fake so means there is really true "love" :-)

true love is a strong intimate feelings for each other,
it depends on whom do u feel that love, it can be the right person or the wrong one,,,

Love should be for the right person,

@kanayo74

i like what u said, but what if it involves "love" , what if its in a point where its out of hand/control?
What if its already revealed and its time to choose? will u go for the right where theres nothing left
for ur partner or will go stand for ur feelings of love but wrong?

@mynd I had a very long discussion today with this guy, (my bf) he still claims that all im thinking about him is wrong, He said he doesn't love his wife,he just care that why he stay connected,, I tried explaining and ask him to define what does (end relationship means to him) maybe he got another understanding about it. I said if he did really love me from the start,,he did told his wife that theres nothing more left for them, Because he told me he owes big money to his wife when he went to singapore and his wife supported him in studying there. There was already a misunderstanding the time he went to singapore and his wife ignores him.His wife's family is rich so he thought going abroad will improve his career to his wife's parents proud of him. Unfortunately during that time there's been a gap between them then met this guy. He told me all his pains and failure. He said he lost his love for his wife and theres nothing more for them, By talking and sharing thoughts we fall in love with each other. After a year he went back to his country and we still chat and talk everyday. He said when he earns enough money he will pay back his wife all the money she spent for his study while he was at singapore and earn for their divorce. I never ask him to divorce his wife, it was him he told me that because theres no left feeling for each other and they fall out of love. Today was a really tough debate with him. Still he got his own opinion. I had use some advices i got in here and he insist that what im thinking is wrong. He couldnt realize and understand my reasons, he just kept on saying that im the one he love and he said i just dont understand him. a very tough man,

tnx guys,

@metalgoong he is married,

I think i know some, im just earning courage for tomorrow, maybe i can use some those words ,
im sorry, just feeling helpless,

Hi everyone, thank u so much, it helps a lot,

PLsss, i need some tips on how will i tell my bf that i want to end up our relationship.,, Its too much painful to stay,

Masochistic means that you like being in pain for your own pleasure. You like the feeling of suffering, of feeling sad and depressed.

To mynd, do u think being in pain is a pleasure to me? I just found out recently that he still connects with his wife. And we had 3years relationship so do u think i'll fall in love this way if i knew from the start all these things? I'm also surprise about it,

Though he is married but he's been living as single for many years. Guys,,, im thinking of talking to him this friday, i wanna end it but not so sure,
whenever we get to talk my mind kept on changing, i tried breaking up many times but when he begs, i donno, i change my mind so easy, i just cant let go,
its really hard,,,, its stressing me,

If both are really single,honest and sincere then it may work out into serious stage. But the thing is the more you go deeper the more things will be difficult due to distance. U wont like to stay as online lovers forever so imagine how will u see your self after 5years of long distance relationship? Wont u feel tired waiting? Check your self if you can deal with serious relationship in a long distance relationship. It will cost time, money, and a feeling of missing whenever u feel lonely and ur bf/gf wont be able to come online,

Because they are still married in status, He still visit his in laws when there is an occasion for formality. They live in a conservative country and they are Muslim.
I just find out recently that he still get to meet his wife and in laws, For 3years he told me that there's no more communication between them so i thought its really over though they are still married in status, That is how im worried, he lied, and they didnt have a really formal talks about ending up their relationship as husband and wife.

Guys help me pls,  need some advice,  I have a 3years long distance relationship with a married guy. I entered this relationship knowing that he is over with his wife and its really true that they don't live together anymore for many years but the problem is that they are not divorce. They don't have any kid and he was working abroad 1st year i met him. After that he went back to his country and i was worried  because its where his wife is. The relationship continued as he is living as single,no wife around so we have constant communication until one day i caught him lying. He still get to meet his wife in some occasions like his in laws birthdays,  his wife graduation,  during holidays, etc,  i talked about this with him and he said its just for formality. Unfortunately his family don't know anything about me as they are from Muslim country. He told me that he will divorce his wife as soon as he get enough money for it but why did he lied to me about his open communication with his wife? Whenever i ask him if he' still in love with his wife and he would say there's no love left just care but why cant he stop communicating with her knowing that they don't have any kid. Every time i try to break up with him, he would beg me and he would say he loves me, that he cant live without me, We had talked many things about our future,  being together till we grow old,  He said im the only one for him,  im confuse now why he needs to keep the communication with his wife,  by the way his wife is not an emotional type of girl and she dont mind living alone because she cares more about her career and she cant leave his parents for his husband "my bf", that is how my bf started to look for love,  One month back my bf went to Canada for study.I told him to become more open to me about all things including his wife matters if really there is nothing to hide and for me to know that he is not into his wife,  One time i asked him if he gets to talk to his wife after few days he reached Canada. I was surprised because he said his wife called him and they had a talked. His wife will not know his number if he didn't give it to her or maybe its him who called to his wife,      , im confuse,  why,  what should i do? i wanna be with him for the rest of my life but im starting to think twice,