₦airaland Forum

mine was when i toast my classmate bck in sec skul.she gav me a dirty slap,wen i turned bck and looked at my friends dats inspired me to walk up to her, they were laughin at me.i got angry and swept her off her feets.i sat on her and slapped her continously until my friends came to her rescue.i would neva forget dat day. that was d only tym ive ever hit a woman in my lyf

very easy.the teacher made this statement on friday

ofcourse there is no problem.are u d one dat witheld them not to get married?

HBD mr segun EYErinze. WULLNP

if he is takin a stroll wit his pet, wetin concern us?

it has been tay(long)since i wash dat movie.my classmate

Junaknoni:
how true is this.....and what is d price?........i really need it oooo........abeg....

Junaknoni:
how true is this.....and what is d price?........i really need it oooo........abeg....

.
Olodo.una nr dey shame.?

A family is at the dinner table. The son
asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds
of boobs are there?” The father,
surprised, answers, “Well, son, a
woman goes through three phases. In
her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and
40s, they are like pears, still nice,
hanging a bit. After 50, they are like
onions.” “Onions?” the son asks.
“Yes. You see them and they make you
cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom,
how many different kinds of willies are
there?” The mother smiles and says,
“Well, dear, a man goes through three
phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like
an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a
Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?”
the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the
root up and the balls are just for
decoration.”

CASE 1. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. CASE 2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." CASE 3 . Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished. CASE 4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status. CASE 5. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it." CASE 6. Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad : "That happens in most countries, son." CASE 7 . Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late." CASE 8. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. CASE 9 When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair?. CASE 10. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. CASE 11. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." CASE 12. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine." CASE 13. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new. CASE 14. A woman was telling her friend: "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire."

check out this crazy hairstyle

naija boys smart welwel.expo go stil flow among dem

.wow.see creativity

A window cleaner is cleaning a window on the 25th floor of a skyscraper when suddenly, he slips and falls. He has no safety equipment and nothing to save his fall, and yet he is not hurt. How can this be?

jus dial *990#.check ur balance with *990*0#

lolz.i remember wen shit catch me for road.i begin run to my house.as i reach house i wan open d toilet door then i heard bros sayin'yes,who b dat'

lol

i dnt knw hw to check d balance.but 5mb is nt big.u hav to b careful how u use it,cos mtn wont alert u when it has been exhausted.they will jus finish ur credit.

i dnt knw how to check d balance.but u hav to be careful how u use it, because mtn wont alert u when u hav exhausted it.they wil jus finish your credit

Akpos and johnny went for an interview
for employment. johnny was the first to enter the
interviewing office.. (the manager
asking johnny questions).Manager: who was the first millitary
head of state in Nigeria.. Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi.. Manager: when was the North
and southern protectorate in Nigeria
Almagamated. . Johnny: 1914.. Manager. Dat is gud of you.. Question no 3, is it true tha the cure for
hiv/ aids is discovered.. Johnny: eehm.. yes but not scientifically
proven... Manager: good way of answering
questions, pls can you wait for us
outside and we will attend to you later...
(when johnny went outside akpos asked
him).. Akpos johnny, what are the questions
and please tell me the answers??.. (as johnny was about to tell akpos the
questions and answer, the manager
shouted from inside `NEXT'..
Akpos then said to Johnny).. Akpos. Ok tell me only the answers.. Johnny: answer to number 1 is: General Aguyi Ironsi,
number 2 is=1914,
number 3 is=yes but not scientifically
proven (mumu Akpos got to d interview, after
exchanging greetings, d manager told
him to sit down) manager. Please sir, What is ur name? Akpos : General Aguyi Ironsi (manager
became confused) Manager. Please what year where you
born? Akpos: 1914 Manager: (angrily, he shouted at
Akpos)!! are u mad?!!! Akpos: Yes, but not scientifically proven.

My dad was in one church last sunday. After the preaching, the pastor announced, "If you are worshipping with us for the first time in this church you are welcome, please stand up cause you are so special to us.'' My dad stood up. The pastor added, ''The whole church will like to know your name." My dad said, ''My name is Alexander Akpe but you can just call me Alex. The congregation clapped. The pastor yelled, ''Praise thy Lord!''. The congregation answered, ''Halleluyah!. The pastor said to my dad, ''Mr Alex, do you have any prayer request you want the church to pray for you?''. ''Yes sir!'', My dad replied, ''The church should help me pray that God should promote my carpenter business in this church more than how he promoted it in my former church.'' The congregation shouted, ''Aaaaammmmmeeeeeeennnnn!''. The pastor said, ''Church, I want you to use the whole of your strength to pray for Brother Alex's carpenter business. Pray that God should promote his business in this church.'' The pastor started speaking in tongues, ''Mara bosha ri bi!''. Thus, says the Lord, listen, your business shall sell in this church more than where you are coming from a million times.'' The congregation shouted, ''Aaammeeeeeennnn!!!''. The pastor said, ''Mr Alex, open your eyes, your prayer has been answered! You left your former church because the business was not selling very well, abi?''. ''Yes Pastor! Like I said before, I am a carpenter and I deal on coffin selling. Initially, my business was selling fine in my former church because they were patronising me. As the number of death kept increasing in the church, my business was growing because they were buying all the coffins from me. But after some time, there was a deliverance service in the church and members stopped dying. It really affected my business. That was why I had to leave the church to search for greener pasture here. The congregation screamed in surprise, ''Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!''. The pastor screamed, ''Mr Alex, it will not work for you here! You are not welcome here. I bind you, I rebuke you. Get out of our church!.''

hi everyone.i know many of us knw abt mtn enhanced pulse.it was blocked last year by mtn but it now 100 percent workin.jus dial #406*5# to opt in.and #406*4# to opt out.take advantage of dis before its blocked again

what of eva?nawa 4 dis list o.omawumi nr supose join sef

nawa