₦airaland Forum

Lalasticlala
Mynd44 help make Nairalanders laugh hard in this recession

More here: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/could-this-be-ugliest-guy-on-facebook.html

Right now I'm sure this guy must be passing through hell if only he takes these words to heart. But if he adheres to this popular saying; 


"monkey no fine but him mama still like am"


Then I bet he would be having fun as more comments troop in instead of giving a frowning face.


See more savagious posts friends made about him, quite hilarious

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/could-this-be-ugliest-guy-on-facebook.html

See the 'biggest' Nigerian currency denomination used in church

The programme titled 'Biblical principles for prosperity', was put up on a banner depicting a copy of the already existing N1,000 note.

In place of the 'Central Bank of Nigeria' are the words 'Central Bank of Heaven', and instead of three zeros, there are twelve zeros, bringing it to a total of one trillion naira.

The N1,000 note is officially the biggest Nigerian currency denomination, but it now seems the N1,000,000,000,000 has eclipsed that.

LOL.

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/anambra-church-introduces-1trillion.html

lalasticlala
mynd44 help showcase the boy to the world

A Facebook user, Uchenna Onyeizu, has taken to the social media platform and shared the photos of a very young boy in the commercial city of Aba, Abia state, who successfully produced a proto-type of a tricycle popularly known as Keke Napep.

Uchenna, who posted the photos online, wrote;
‘The ingenuity in Aba starts as early as this’.Whether it is a ‘toy’ Keke or not, the young boy deserves a pat on the back and if possible sponsored for development because there’s obviously a genius in him.

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/raw-talent-see-keke-napep-manufactured.html

One Mr James, 65years, has been handed over to the Nigerian Police Force this morning in an attempted r*pe of Chioma (Not real Name), a 15year old girl.

This happened in the early hours of 10am around Akporido Junction, Apata, one of the local streets in Jos, Plateau State Nigeria.

JTownConnect Metro gathered that the old man walked towards Chioma on sighting her in front of the shop she stays, then grabbed her on her bre*st. The girl on trying to get rid of him, he also pulled out his manho*d trying to force it on her, but the little girl screamed and passerby's now noticed what was going on and then went for her rescue.

One of the eye witness told JTownConnect Metro that the reason they handed him over to the police was because of his age, so as not to get him killed in the process of beating him.

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/90-years-old-man-apprehended-in.html

lalasticlala
mynd44

Governor Ayodele Fayose of Ekiti state has advised President Muahammadu Buhari to stop calling outsiders and speak to him so that Nigerians can believe that he is truly hale and hearty.

In a statement by his Chief Press Secretary, Idowu Adelusi, noted that Buhari had reportedly in one week spoken with the king of Morocco and the president of the African Union.

Fayose said, “If their problem is that they are looking for a credible person who can help them convince Nigerians that all is well with our President, I’m their best bet.

“Let the president speak with me. If I tell Nigerians that the president spoke with me, Nigerians will believe.

“Since they are eager for the president to speak to people; believing in this way to convince Nigerians that their President is hale and hearty, let president Buhari talk to me. I can be reached on 08035024994. I am credible and Nigerians will believe me”, he said.

“They said he spoke to President Donald Trump; despite the hype, Nigerians were skeptical. Then they said he spoke to the king of Morocco; again, Nigerians were suspicious. Before we recovered from that, it is now the AU president that they said President Buhari spoke to.

“A president that can speak with outsiders should be able to whisper or wave to his own people. The people gave him the very important platform of President on which he stands today and, therefore, Presidential aides should stop giving the unhelpful impression that Buhari has no respect for the Nigerian electorate.”

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/call-me-to-prove-to-nigerians-youre.html

lalasticlala
mynd44

Nigeria’s President, Muhammadu Buhari and his Moroccan counterpart, King Mohammed (VI), have resolved to work towards deepening relations between both countries.

In a telephone conversation initiated by King Mohammed (VI), the Moroccan King asked after the president’s health and expressed satisfaction at his rate of improvement.

In a statement, the president’s Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Femi Adesina, explained that both leaders also discussed the current stage of the Morocco-Nigeria Atlantic Crude Oil Pipeline project.

The statement added that King Mohammed (VI) thanked President Buhari for Nigeria’s support in returning Morocco to the African Union, while notifying the President of his country’s request to also join the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS).

Furthermore, the Moroccan king was said to have expressed his intention to make the Rabat-Abuja strategic partnership a framework for regular consultation and cooperation on African issues of mutual interest to both countries.

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/03/president-buhari-speaks-with-moroccan.html

An eighty-five-year-old grandmother, Mrs. Bolaji Isaac, has cried out that she has nothing to live for and preferred death because all her five children rejected her and efforts to see them had been abortive.

Bolaji says anytime she dies, she will be going to the grave with sorrow and bitterness.

The Ikare, Ondo State indigene, said an apartment rented for her by a Pentecostal church in Lagos, Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries, had been forcefully taken by her second son, identified as
Sola, who chased her out.

The octogenarian told Punch Metro that she was in dire need of another accommodation, appealing to Nigerians to prevail on her children to meet with her before her death.

She said,

“I had 10 children. While five of them died, five survived. My husband died about 20 years ago and I started selling paper bags to hospitals and clinics. When I didn’t have money to continue the work, I stopped.

“I was formerly living in the Alagbado area of Lagos State, but my son, Sola, chased me out. He came from Ondo State to live with me.

“His wife called me that I should send him back, but I ignored her. Later, I agreed when the pressure became too much. When I asked him to return, he refused and started fighting me.”

She added that anytime she called her fourth child, Samuel, a lawyer, he always gave excuses of being in court, promising to call back, without doing so.

Bolaji, who explained that Samuel prevented her from knowing his address, said other children also gave excuses instead of catering to her.

When Punch asked about her siblings, she lamented that they had equally forsaken her.

“When I had money, my mother advised me to take care of them that they would help my children in the future. I sponsored their education, but now, they don’t care about me. I don’t know what I did to deserve the treatment. I want to die. This suffering is unbearable,” she added, as she burst into tears.

Bolaji said she later moved to the Ladipo area of Oshodi where an old friend, Mrs. Sadatu Ahmed, had been sheltering her for the past eight months.

Bolaji survived on a weekly N2,000 stipend she received from the MFM every Monday.

Her friend, Ahmed, who claimed to have known her for 25 years, said Bolaji used to visit her during their youthful days.

The 52-year-old added that she could not send her away when she came to her house.

“She was sleeping in the verandah of our compound, exposing herself to cold and mosquito bites. When I couldn’t bear it, I begged my son to allow us to accommodate her and he agreed.

“She cannot go to toilet on her own and she does not sleep well. I bathe her and keep vigils over her. She cries every day. She complains of pains in her legs, stomachs and other body parts. She is really suffering.

“Anytime I call any of her children, they do not pick the call. When they do, they are quick in cutting off the call. One said he was a family man and if he had to choose between his mother and wife, he would choose his wife.

“I am being forced to send her out of my house. My neighbours said if she died, I would be in trouble. I don’t want to go to jail for helping someone in need,” she added.

However, Samuel, on the telephone, said his mother was troublesome, adding that he kept her away from his family to avoid having issues with his marriage.
He said,

“She was formerly living with my elder brother, Tope. She was always quarrelling with his wife to the extent that they would engage in fisticuffs. And it was regular. I witnessed the fights while I was in the university and that was why I decided never to allow any family member live with me.

“She cannot live with any of her sons without having issues with their wives, so we are trying to make enquiries about old people’s home for her because that is the next step. Just last week, we all contributed N25,000 to give her; so I wonder where the issue of neglect is coming from.

“My wife and I are too busy and if she stays with us, she will still complain of neglect. It is not important that she knows where I stay; the most important thing is that she is taken care of.”

Samuel, who confirmed that Sola stayed with the mother at a time, said he could not say if he sent her out.

He said although he didn’t know who she stayed with in Lagos, he sometime sent her money through his wife.

https://www.punchng.com/i-want-to-die-85-year-old-woman-rejected-by-children-cries/amp/

lalasticlala
myn44 come see ooh

Oh dear! Since I saw this, I don't know if I should laugh or commend him.

The Young man pictured above was spotted along Township stadium in Jos corporately dressed in suit and an Italian Shoe selling his Suya. Mehn this is awesome, packing really matter in all that we do. See more photos below:

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/02/suya-seller-spotted-with-suit-italian.html

lalasticlala
mynd44

Tuface has donated N3.5 million to the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR), Nigeria, to support humanitarian interventions.

Nigerian Music icon, Innocent Idibia, popularly known as Tuface, has donated N3.5 million to the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR), Nigeria, to support humanitarian interventions.

The commission disclosed this in a statement issued by Mr Hanson Tamfu, External Relations Officer, UNHCR, Nigeria, on Monday in Abuja.

He said the donation from the 2face Foundation was to support the commission in providing life-saving support to families forcibly displaced in Nigeria and across the continent.

Tamfu said that Tuface expressed joy and commitment to helping the victims of insurgency who have been forced to flee their homes as a result of the unrest in the North-East.

He said the musician also pledged his continuous support to UNHCR in its humanitarian assistance to the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) and other persons.

The officer quoted Tuface as saying, “I am proud to support the UN Refugee Agency because of its proven track record of being at the fore front of displacement emergencies.

“I want to help people who have been forced to flee their homes because of different issues.

“I care about them and this donation is one of such efforts because we plan to have a major charity concert in June to raise money whilst offering my music and talents to the world for donations towards this noble cause.

“I am confident in UNHCR because it knows how to make a difference in the lives of millions of women, children and men who have lost everything but hope,“ Tuface said.

Tamfu said that UNHCR is almost entirely supported by donations from governments, who contribute 89 per cent of its annual funding needs.

He disclosed that UNHCR and its partners require USD2.45 billion to provide critical life-saving assistance to the displaced families in Africa.

He said that funds were required to meet the enormous needs of displaced persons with the number of the world’s displacement at more than 63.9 million.

The officer explained that this was also due to an unprecedented level of over 19.4million of those living in Sub-Saharan Africa, the needs are enormous.

Mr Valentin Tapsoba, UNHCR’s Director of the Africa Bureau, appreciated Tuface for his generosity and contribution to UNHCR’s cause.

Tapsoba said that having someone of Tuface’s calibre who recognises the needs of the people who have been forced to flee their homes was extremely encouraging.

He said that it was a clear step in the direction of an Africa that takes ownership of its own challenges and strives to address them.

Tapsoba said that as a musician, who has been singing for over two decades, his campaign would cut across all generations and make an impact.

The Bureau Chief said that in Nigeria, the UN Refugee Agency responds to the needs of the more than 1.8 million displaced.

He explained that since the needs were over whelming, the agency has turned to Africa’s philanthropic world to meet some of the funding gaps, which are worrisome and huge.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the donation from Tuface, founder of the 2face foundation, is to kick-start UNHCR’s first ever fundraising campaign in Nigeria.

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/02/tuface-donates-n35m-to-united-nations.html

lalasticlala
mynd44 make una and other Niaralanders follow me laugh

I just saw this on facebook, and it got me laughing all day. I think this man is making a whole lot of sense.

lalasticlala
myn44 please move this to FP, lets give her the last respect

Nigerian Blogger Lilian Nwobu Dies After Battling With Cancer Of The Blood

Blogger Lilian Nwobu was reported dead yesterday after it was announced that she was suffering from cancer of the blood.

She was survived by her Daughter named Xenia after she wedded to her handsome husband on 4th November 2013

She is the Founder of Gistpost.com, an entertainment website in Nigeria. She graduated at Anambra State University where she studied Business Administration. Perhaps she is also a staff at GT Bank.

May Her Soul Rest In Peace Amen!

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/02/nigerian-blogger-lilian-nwobu-dies.html

lalasticlala, mynd44

The Standards Organisation of Nigeria has arrested two Chinese nationals, Taolung Shen and Xu Jing Yau, who were said to have dealt in substandard tyres worth over N5bn.

The suspects, according to a statement on Sunday, were paraded following their arrest, and the sealing of the warehouse where they had been cloning different sizes of tyres under different brand names.

The suspects, the statement added, churned out the substandard tyres into the Nigerian market under brand names such as Powertrac, Aptany, Harmony, Duraturn, Bearway, City Tour, Winda, Glory, Chachland, City Grand, Grandsonte and Sunny.

According to SON, the suspects brought the substandard tyres into Nigeria by stuffing them into one another.

“Sometimes as many as five tyres were stuffed into one and the tyres would have bent and ruptured in several places, thereby looking weak and slack.

“But the Chinese adorned the tyres with new labels and shinny linings to create the impression of being new and healthy,” SON said.

Some of the tyres found in the warehouse had post-dated manufacturing dates.

The agency’s Director General, Osita Aboloma, who conducted journalists round the warehouse, described the tyres as dead on arrival, saying allowing the sale of such tyres in the country amounted to “surreptitiously taking away the lives of millions of Nigerians.”

He observed that by stuffing the tyres into one another and conveying them through the sea from China to Lagos, the quality of the tyres had already been compromised.

Aboloma also noted that the crude way the tyres were separated on arrival in Nigeria and the poor storage facility, without sufficient aeration, in the warehouse had further compromised their quality.

“The SON Directorate of Compliance intercepted one of their trucks on the highway, tracked it and then this.

“You can see the amount of danger that these people are posing to our people and our economy just because they want to make huge profit at the expense of the lives of Nigerians.

“It is a clear case of investing millions in illicit business in order to take away the lives of millions of Nigerians, to destroy the lives of millions of Nigerians. If we allow something like this, it will amount to killing Nigerians,” Aboloma said.

The DG said there would be no hiding place for people who dealt in adulterated products in the country.

“I want to reiterate that there is no hiding place for those who deal in substandard products as they would be caught and their products confiscated. Today’s feat is an example,” he said.

Aboloma advised users of automobile tyres nationwide on the need to be extra-cautious when making purchases of such products.

He urged tyre users to henceforth demand that dealers indicate the manufacturing dates on the receipts, so as to make the seller take responsibility on any product sold by them.

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/02/son-arrests-two-chinese-nationals-with.html

mynd44

One 23year old Ifeanyi John Obidike has narrated how God saved him from an accident along Garki part of Abuja where the Keke Napepe he boarded almost got stock in between a trailer and a small vehicle.

JTownConnect Metro gathered that the Keke Napepe Ifeanyi boarded was trying to beat the traffic by getting through the trailer and the small vehicle, but unfortunately got stock within.

Our eye reporter also narrated that, when this incident occurred, the Keke driver, Ifeanyi and other passengers inside the keke began to shout the name of Jesus and waving at the trailer driver to please hold on break.

The traffic warden around the area who was controlling the traffic rushed to help get the Keke out in between the two vehicles. More photos below:

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/02/man-escaped-death-after-his-keke-was.html

Lalasticlala , mynd44

Lalasticlala