₦airaland Forum

Tyra is totally georgeous! She's beautiful (with or without make up), fantastic hourglass figure, lovely bone structure and a warm and vivacious personality, naomi is pretty 2 even at her age(tanxs 2 plastic surgery), appears a bit standöffish but naomi doesnt match up 2 tyra.

olugbon01:
i beg jummiee try post d letter

OK, so here it goes; Warning, it's a bit long, so anyone who's too impatient to read till the end should just skip this post.



By Reuben Abati

I was riffling through my old things the other weekend: Secondary school note books, undergraduate files and somewhere in my notebook for PhiChemBi (pronounced FI-KEM-BA): Physics, Chemistry, and Biology). I'd come across a true relic from the past: a love letter I'd written to the first girl I was supposed to have loved. How the letter survives till today is a comment on my personal habits. I don't keep diaries - I've always thought that only mean people do - but I never fail to keep documents. Letters, ordinary notes, office memos are carefully hidden away somewhere in my unending file of documents. My wife says it is junk but as it happened that weekend, I encountered a document, which recalled past memories. The keeping of junk probably has its uses after all.

The letter in question is not an ordinary letter. It is the first letter I'd ever written to any girl. It was also written in a particular style.   As secondary school students, we had our own way of doing things. A form three student ñ as we then were ñ who was just being introduced to the mysteries of science and agriculture, invariably felt that a love letter was a good forum to show off his erudition. Every love letter was scrutinized by one's circle of peers. For the writing of this particular letter, I had no fewer than 10 advisers. The letter kept going back and forth with each person, adding his own line. Our objective was simple: that the girl to whom it was addressed should fall head over heels in love. We had high hopes that the letter would do the trick. You probably also once wrote such a letter.

In this joyless existence, love is one of the emotions that we experience as human beings, growing up as members of the community of man. We use the word love, even when we do not understand it. We believe in God without seeing Him. It is the same with that thing which every young person calls love. But as we grow older, we become wiser. We are forced, by circumstances and experience, to realize that love is not merely what the Holy Bible says it is: I mean all that stuff about how love does not covet etc, but that the act of love entails the realization, the struggle to survive, the preservation of the self in the midst of vicissitudes, and the inhumanity of man to man, is the truest act of love. We all fell in love, I suppose, as an initial act of fun, one of those rites of passage. These days, we are what to look back and chuckle. I am chuckling still.
Here, then is my beginning: love is like this first letter: an emotional disconnection with reality, a question mark: it is as follows:    



At school, July 10, 1978

My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Bose.

I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul. The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the wind vane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image.   Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you. I went out to sea in my dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H20 and you in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants.

As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane.  He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, nine hundred and seven eight, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room. The conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realize the gargantuan nature of my predicament.  If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, a Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become an orphan.  In fact I'd kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Bose, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey.  At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine.  Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold.  The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put together let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God's time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you. I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.   

The attached form, which has become brownish with age, is itself a study in youthful naivety. It contains such questions as what is your name?  Age? Do you have a boyfriend? If yes, please state why? If no, please explain?  Do you love me? If no, state why. If yes, doxology. What is your hobby?  Which is your favorite food? Mother's occupation? Father's occupation?   Are you from a polygamous home? Is your father rich and handsome? Is your mummy also a paragon of beauty like you? What do your parents want their son-in-law to become in life?

I could not stop laughing. Imagine the kind of things we did as small boys.  Asking a girl to fill a form! The questions and the idea of it strike me, in retrospect as plainly stupid but at the time, writing such letters to unsuspecting girls was the centre of our world. I confess that I was a consultant in the matter. All my friends wanted me to help them write their love letters. And whereas they succeeded with their letters, my own letters never brought any results.

This particular one (I must have written over 30) was never sent.   What happened I recall was that there was a change of strategy. The consensus was that I should speak to the girl directly. I was scared! My friends insisted, however. I was coached for days without end. Whenever we wanted to put theory to practice, my heart would beat so fast that I became tongue-tied and I'd develop instant fever. One day, I finally found the courage to do it. It was a disaster. I went up to the girl, sweating profusely:

"Excuse, I want to tell you something" (this took at least 10 minutes)

"Yes"

"I think I am in love with you. I want the two of us to, (this took not less than 20 minutes, the sentence was completed with a sign, indicating boy-girl relationship)

"No, I don't want," the girl replied.

"Why now?" (Another five minutes)

"I don't know"

"okay, thank you." (Less than one minute And I took to my heels!Couldn’t help but share this masterpiece with you.


That was Reuben Abati's experience, amusing though, nairalanders please share your love letters with us. [color=Black][/color]

slit

emmeno:
If u know what is good for u, make a living 1st. Cos if them sack u, she wouldnt want to have a jobless guy as a temporary man So, wisen up

hmmmm, words of wisdom my broda.

@cbase

ROFLMAO
if u believed that u'd beliv anything

hmmmmm, love letters, saw one the other day written by a long while back by Reuben Abati ( journalist with the Guardian) to his crush in secondary school, it has been circulating the net for some time now, it was hilarious! if you havent seen it, let me know if i can post it on this thread.

Hello 377,

There are  two kinds of masters: academic and professional.

M.Sc comes under academic masters whlist MBA is a type of professional masters, (there are other types of professional masters as well ). For the academic masters, u dont need work experience and after you've accquired the Msc, you can continue to PHD level, (provided u make the cut off grade, which for most universities is 60%).  M.Sc is relatively cheaper than professional masters. However, the course duration is about 3 semesters for full time and 5 semesters for part time, (this might vary depending on univeristy). As julimaxy said, the first two semesters is course work and the last semester for your project.

Expect to do lots of assignments, presentations and seminars, cos lecturers believe they're grooming u in case u'd want to futher your education and end up in  academics.

For the professional masters, some universities would require you to have work experience as part of admission criteria, as the name implies, professional masters in geared at working professionals so the lecturers tend not to stress you as much as your peers doing academic masters ( i just finished a professional masters, i'm talking from experience). I found my masters program less stressful than B.sc,  lecturers treat you with  more respect almost as if you're colleagues/ junior colleagues. You might be doing more of assignments, group work and presentations.

Finally, you might want to get more detailed info from people currently doing your preferred course at the uni of your choice. It would help with your decision making.

@tufe and cbase
i no try at all? guys look at the bigger picture, after stealing nairaland, i'd make all nairalanders my slaves for ever  _{evil laugh}   Today nairaland, tomorrow the world  _{evil laugher}     eerrrr, i think i have been watching too many sci fi movies

ROFLMAO, @poster, dat was a very funny one. i havnt laffd dis hard in a long while.

@poster, LOL- nice one. that family is wacky.

@topic- i'd steal nairaland from seun.

@Poster

Yeah rite! you're still a virgin cos u had protected sex, hmmmm i guess that makes 100% of people out there that use some kind of protection or the other- virgins, wow, that's a lot of virgins in the world rite now! 

Had a busy day today. I had breakfast with bill clinton, flew off in my jet and had lunch with the queen of england, came back to the U.S where i appeared on the Oprah show for an interview.

@ Poster,

i'm sure you have made a decision by now, after reading various advise dispensed by Nairalanders,  kindly give us feedback, hopefully you have made the right decision to return the money, it's an unwritten rule in life that there is no secret that wont be eventually revealed, so even if  choose not to say anything and the company does not discover in the short run, believe me, one day, what you did would eventually be discovered,  fast forward to 10 years from now and you are running for a political post, do you know that your opponents would start looking for 'dirt' on you to tarnish your image? imagine the embarrassment when you are labelled a theif for something as "insignificant'' as this, ten years from now.

Pay no heed to those who are encouraging you to keep the money, it only shows their true character, for 'out of the abundance of a man's heart, he speaks' it only goes to show that for such people, money is their weakness.
i think the advise that u should use this incidence to point out the flaws in the company's admin/payment system is an excellent one. Enough said.

All the best

ROFL, LMAO
This thread is hilarious!

Nairalanders! u have really come up with some interesting names in case the company wants to rebrand again, my top picks are (drumroll please):

1. CAMTEL ( Cameleon telecommunications)
2. PAIN
3 CHANGE-TEL

, and the winner is, _{drum rolls please}, halle ! End of discussion!

hmmm, his future ''2010" look is interesting, seem's like he's evolving into,
@ poster, u've been watching too much of star wars

Earth's Ambassador to Planet Mars