₦airaland Forum

chukxie:
Almost all kindergarten, primary and secondary schools in China have resumed. Although some kindergartens in Beijing are yet to resume. Universities would resume sometime this month although they have all been having classes online since March.
@ the emboldened: There's no perfect country on earth. The have and the have-not will always be amongst us so it is not out of the ordinary to see Chinese people sweating it out in underground factories and often living in squalid conditions. Such inhumane conditions aren't unique only to the Chinese. Go to Dubai and witness the debasing conditions in which some of our people work and live in. You are wrong to think only Chinese people work in sweatshops. Do you know citizens of poorer European countries work in squalid conditions in the UK? Go and watch Work UK Border Inspection TV. series. China, with a population of 1.3+ billion people feeds its citizens but Nigeria with, a population of 200+ million people CANNOT feed its citizens! What's more? Almost every city, town, village, hamlet in China has constant and affordable electricity supply. In Nigeria, electricity generation is rocket science! Abeg, face front. Transfer all the hate you have for China on our leaders. Cheers!

Have I anywhere said that only the Chinese slave in sweatshops?

Stop comparing European countries to China. Workers are organized in unions in Europe, there are Safety and Health Acts and Laws and in some countries minimum wages. It's because there are no such things in China that European and American companies manufacture their products there. If Americans or Europeans exploited humans they way the Chinese do, no European or American company would go there.

I hope she did it with her money that didn't come from looting the state budget because she has no right to allocate public funds as she wishes.

Are you in a relationship?

DammyGbade:
What of the public schools? These ones are the international schools... Like those ones in lekki, VI and Ajah... Let us see the schools in their own epe and ajegunle

Exactly!
That's why I laugh when Nigerians praise China like it is some great place to live when many Chinese people slave in sweatshops and can barely feed their families.

MoIbrahim:
Yes o. It is such so called human right abuse and lack of freedom that shaped their success in this coronavirus fight.

And yet other countries have been successful in tackling the pandemic without violating human rights and the freedoms of their citizens.

For better, for worse.

Brunicekid:
Exactly...The Glass Partition innovation really make sense.

There is nothing innovative about it. It is simple plexiglas and used in shops and office buildings in many countries now.

JBL316:
Yesooooo....and THEY WERE VERY EFFICIENT IN SPREADING THE VIRUS!

EdiskyHarry:
Only God knows how I love this country china

I agree.

hush15:
Honestly, with all their faults, they still have a government that works and that I envy about them. After all said and done, the government of the day provides and put in place facilities that caters to the plight of the people unlike Nigeria, they never do. All we hear is talk, talk and more talk. We will give this and give that but at the end of the day, we are still expecying

Not the poor people.

And people will say women/girls are not disadvantaged in Nigeria.

Lorazepam:
End time father
As if he wasnt the one who donated X chromosome, to produce XX.
Next time he should pray hard so he can donate Y chromosome.

He should not be allowed to have more children.

Lekan239:
After seeing all this behavior i advise my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering. Today this morning my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying do my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumble upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too. Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction it hurt me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who don't care nor love are even at her sick bed,he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

I guess you will have to make peace with her choices. She is a grown up. I have an aunt in a similar situation. The husband left finally and she is still waiting, has been waiting for 3 or 4 years now.

Maybe because the men who say marriage is a scam are not the same men who insult ladies who are not married?

merahki:
I ran from this when I saw it?
Maybe I would say something to many- years- younger -than -now -me, who had become an adult though? This is because I would change nothing about my childhood (well maybe I would attend a different primary school than I did? In retrospect oo because I loved the school then. My parents indulged me too much that I made them put me in a school that wasn’t in their plan. They downgraded ).

Back to the OP, I would tell her to not shrink and withdraw from my dad when I realised he had become too sick to get well. The irony is that he is the person I loved (still do) the most, the best and the truest in the whole world. I was his briefcase, lol, took me everywhere. He knew just about everything and was totally quiet and cool about it. Not so bubbly but rich like old, beautiful brandy. Funny/with a sense of humour that can reach Madagascar. He would visit me in secondary school and I would want to burst into a million pieces, with pride. Everybody (village and city) wanted his attention one way or the other. To us he was well, The Sun, the Star and Everything. Shaped my mind, disciplined us too, and was relentless about this. Every night, circling around him and he feeding us “life” was always the high points of our days, with my mother smiling like a cat/laughing giddily in one corner as if she created him
When he became chronically sick, (in a household that at that point just barely kept its self on the middle class roster- (his illness caused the contracts to stop coming etc) I was filled with something bad (a mix of .shame that we didn’t have enough money anymore to save him- and we had grown up upper-middle class or just below it, .resentment at him for being sick and helpless and taking up scarce resources -the helplessness I could not bear to watch happen at all, .some loss of confidence at our financial state, .self-pity which was definitely totally selfish of me. When he died the first fleeting thing I felt (outside initial grief and crying) was relief (that he didn’t have to suffer anymore but also, because I didn’t have to feel that bad thing (?shame and helplessness mostly I guess) anymore). Then the grief engulfed me by the third day. Another irony- I was paid my first 3 month accumulated salary at the end of the month he was buried/one month after his death. That would have helped a lot with his management, and subsequently I would have been giving him pocket money sha, to supplement my mother’s salary.

So I would tell that me to crawl into bed with my dad and read him all the books he couldn’t read again (reading was his passion)...tell him stories about my graduation...hug him many times every day...and be sure he knows exactly how much he meant(means) to me. (like he knew I did before he got sick). Wondering if he knew the negative feelings I had towards his end on earth tears me apart sha. I know he would have forgiven me since if he did...and was most probably was even too sick to notice, but forgiving myself took a looong time. Sometimes (rarely through) I would be caught up in a feeling of intensely missing him...but I don’t ever want to lose that even if it can make me sad. But it is good sad sha. But I never bought anything for my dad with my money. Bummer.
Gosh I am a daddy’s “girl” shaa. If there was ever a positive spin to the Elektra Complex then I would be its poster child.
Quick confession: I think I look for my father’s qualities in men. Maybe that’s why...
This was a very hard thing to post. I am sure I didn’t even put my thoughts down well.
(Shakes it off)

You have a way of allowing your mind to flow. Reminds me of what literary critics call stream of consciousness. I felt like I was there all along through this painful period in your life time. Made me want to hug you like you are my sister.

merahki:
I have to come in here
Honestly we as Africans shouldn’t be proud of our education because that’s some major indoctrination. Any learning you do outside of your indoctrination is your true learning and education.
Personally I am filled with medicine that I was dosed with. So I am not “uneducated”. I am even “big” education-wise, to a reasonable extent. But, we must all be willing to delearn-unlearn/ learn /relearn or we are no better than trained pets . There is this really wrong and misdirected pride that we feel at having “gotten educated”. Meanwhile the education is not geared towards making you think and question to seek answers, but is just fed you to swallow. It also makes you see independent thinking as a sin/folly/travesty. But therein life exists.
During my masters abroad I saw how differently people generally sought knowledge. While Africans (because of how we were “trained”) were in class wanting to get distinctions? Others were getting real world answers and getting just passes. But somehow, they “got it”. I am grateful for Nairaland, Chinua Achebe, JHClarke and that schooling for showing me how to become really educated. Just saying.
Cheers.
https://www.nairaland.com/4595660/intellectual-slavery-worst-legacy-colonialism

https://www.nairaland.com/4871133/every-african-should-please-read

Very interesting. I wish you would elaborate on the different ways different people sought knowledge.

Tosinex:
hahaha, no problem! I'm ready for them, I hope you will support me too sha.

What do you need support for? To convince everyone that your way is the only right way?

You were born to be happy.

IhateThemMods:
I have never reasoned this thing wey you talk like for Bible oh...

Alternative readings.

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmm
I will think over what you told me bro, thanks a lot.

I think you deserve a break and they will be better off for it at the end of it.

Illuminated993:
She learnt better methods of getting him to listen to her; she learnt patience and persistence. She learnt to calm down. Now, they both advise younger couples against outright confrontation. Last year, they both were having a laugh about my uncle whose wife always fights him, and in the words of my dad, he said " they are just starting, they think marriage is that easy". That statement was a very profound one.

Good for them but it doesn't always happen.

Illuminated993:
You've been able to whitewash your husband. The next step should be heeding to the advices of the useless women in the comment section, so that you can finally destroy your marriage. When you destroy the marriage, I'll be here to congratulate you for joining the club of the "liberated sisters".
As a kid, I watched my parents quarrel and argue almost all of the time. My dad would throw her boxes out, she would take it back in, my mum would throw crazy abuses at him in her bid to disgrace him publicly and destroy every shred of self-esteem in him, the man would insist on not wanting the marriage anymore, neighbors would start pleading. It was terrifying. But as time went on, they outgrew those toxic traits, they stuck together, they got used to being together in peace and harmony with no more quarrels whatsoever. Marriage is a serious long term project offering profound lessons necessary for being a better human, not the fantasy as depicted in movies.

I know that we men can be controlling and act like bastards sometimes, but no matter how big a bastard a man is, only a woman who respects him makes him act right. If you want that man to get worse with you, try to show him he's not the boss, after all, he contributes almost nothing. My point is, you can make a man be whatever you want him to be, it all depends on the mannerisms you adopt with him.

If you think your husband isn't treating you properly, you don't get him treating you properly by standing up to him. You keep talking calmly to him like a wife married to a king, and quit looking at his failings, because it subconsciously makes you loathe and have no respect for him.

Money will come, keep praying, keep hoping, things will fall in place. In this Nigeria, there are women who are the breadwinners, and they still treat their spouses like he's the one doing everything in the home, and their marriages are thriving.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Since your mother fought your father and it led to a long lasting marriage and eventually peace, why don't you tell ladies to do what your mum did?

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmmm
Capslocked
These are some of the things my parent use when i don't give them enough from what they demanded.
We are only 3 boys in my family and am the first born.
After graduating and luckily got a job, parent my mum in particular placed a lot of burden and expectations on me.
I roofed there house, furnished it and they moved in. After that demand upon demand upon demand from me.
Gave my uncle who is her junior brother 1m to travel out after mum pestered me, gave her my first car (nissan pathfinder) after pressuring family to give it to her, co-sponsored my junior brother to duabi with 500k - now he is working in a company there earning about 250k per month, sponsored another of her family to dubai again late last year.
The most annoying of all is our last born. She told me he wants to go to Europe and i will need to support with 1m from the 4m he needs while others too will raise money. Told her this venture is not feasible because i know others won't drop any money and i can only give 500k that is comfortable for me. Now she said due to inflation and naira devaluation at black market, we will be needing 5m against the initial 4m and she plans selling my land of 1.5m while i still drop 500k making 2m in total.
My wife sparked that enough is enough. Wetin, kilode, se a man so eran meran ki ikan kan ikan pa ni - why would we tie two rams together while one kills the other. Oko o kin je ti baba ti omo ko ma ni ala - No matter the family bond, there should always be a demarcation between a father's land and his son. Never you merge it together.
Funny enough, i had the intention of selling the land several times before but my mum insisted i shouldn't sell it but build it but now that she needs money, the land can be sold.
Whenever i say No to there financial requests, she will start shouting and crying that she knows how she suffered on us, what she went through to train us, hiw she collected loans and cooperatives to make sure we become somebody in life but now that it is time for us to pay back, for her to sit down and start eating the fruits of her labour, we are always complaining.
That if we are considerate, even before she ask for A, we should have provided A B C because of her sacrifice on us, all this she will be saying after calling family meeting on my head with church pastors to mediate on it.
I can't even count the numbers of time pastors and family members have come to mediate on these issues.
Funny enough, it's not as if she is doing bad. She is a headmistress in govt. school earning about 170k per month and with the new minimum wage, she should earn 200k while dad retired as VP in secondary school and taking pension of 70k.
Our 3rd born is on my monthly pay of 20k per month yet always complaining that she is not enjoying me again especially since i got married, that i hardly give lump sum of maybe 100/200k unlike now that i always grumble before giving 20k.
I am really tired Capslocked. Really tired.
I'm working but i hardly buy clothes for myself or use good car or furnished my apartment to taste.
It has always been responsibilities upon responsibilities.

Take a break from your family. Disappear for 6-12 months. When you come back, they will be grateful for everything you do and not complain again if you don't. If you can do it, you will thank me later. That is the moral of the Biblical story of the prodigal son. The one who disappeared was celebrated after he returned, not the one who was there all the time.