₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
1) most people can do both with a supportive spouse. That’s what I’d encourage if anyone asks my opinion.

2) I agree that unflinching focus on work can lead to emptiness in other areas of life. (Family life mostly).
I also think that the same focus on family can lead to under fulfillment in other aspects of life. Which includes but is not limited to career life.

I don’t know many people who would disagree that creating a balance between the two is the optimal solution. Hence, I don’t think we even really need to be talking about the issue as if it’s a matter of either this or that. It can be both.

Instead emphasis should be created on more supportive husbands who don’t box their wives into a frame. And encourage women to know they can do more if they wish to and be successful at it too.

For many women the decision is family or career. If you want to climb up high on the career ladder you will have to put a lot of time into building your career. The time you won't get to spend with your kids. Some jobs will take you around the world, hopping planes, living in hotels. When you listen to some women whose careers required them to work extra hours and possibly traveling, you will often hear how painful it was for them to leave their kids in the care of others, supportive husband or not, so the topic is worth having a discussion and as more women aim high and higher, many women will feel they have to choose. We should offer support, seek solutions, not condemnation because it has been a long practice for men to have their career opportunities and wives who would have their backs at home, which led to financial inequality and many advantages for women. For women the situation is relatively new and still very difficult. I like your diplomatic approach though.

ThothHermes:
This one like quarrel o

Who? Bukatyne? Yes. She always creates threads where people argue and get very very angry. By their fruit you shall know them.

ThothHermes:
I like reading her threads. Duhhh...

Who told you not to read? You told women, who are the subject of this thread, not to respond when it is not your place really to respond if anyone should be counted out.

ThothHermes:
You know she'll create another thread right? And it will still be along these lines. Will you ignore it the next time you see it?

I know say you no go fit.

We will see. Will you jump on it too even if it doesn't concern you?

fieryy:
I honestly can't take that woman serious. There are women out there who aren't interested in marriage, and a happy marriage doesn't and should not stop you from having a successful career as lot of women have already proven and still are proving! I don't know what makes her think a woman has to choose between both.

If you have a partner (not a grown ass man baby), ready to support you and your career and by that I mean a man, who wouldn't be intimidated by your goals and wouldn't expect you to give up on these for him, achieving your goals shouldn't be a problem.

All her threads are about losing yourself into marriage: giving up your goals, not being too much, not being too ambitious, not being too outspoken etc. Basically everything to please a man in order to uphold a marriage status.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the traditional wife, but with all due respect not everybody wants that kind of life. To be honest, I think it's a quite pathetic life to live.

Besides, you're right about the lack of exposure. I think she also lacks the ability to think beyond the horizon.

Stating things like 'the average lady has her B. Sc. before getting married.' Lmaooo

Considering the fact, that the average lady is not the same as the Nigerian average lady, that claim is already bullshit. Besides, how many ladies in the world do have a B. Sc to begin with? Especially if you consider ladies in developing countries.

The world's population is growing exponentially. An overpopulated world will lead to an increase urgency in terms of global climate, ressource and waste issues.

Yet this woman is stating

'The children part is contributing your own quota to the world'

The world would actually do better without that lol.

This is not to say people shouldn't have kids of course, but no you're not contributing positively (if we were to think rationally) to the world.

It would be interesting to discuss how some women (I believe they are exceptional) have succeeded in having a happy family and a successful career. It would also be interesting to discuss, with an open mind and heart and no judgement, why some women decided to do either or. This would be, by far, a much more fruitful approach than her patronizing and disparaging attempts at preaching. But this requires the intention to learn, open-mindedness and the ability to root for others and wish them the best in whatever choices they take. I feel she is better off roaming the Romance section than talking to grown ups who won't be talked to anyhow by someone who does not show for any expertise whatsoever.

ThothHermes:
Truth is eternal. Never gets stale.

Your truth is that I am pained? Deep.

ThothHermes:
It fascinates me all the time.

They are supposed to be the "sophisticated", " modern", "independent" career women. But somehow, threads by a woman who is not as modern as they are supposed to be continues to bite them.

You've seen the OP's name, so you already know what to expect. The easy thing would be to ignore the thread. But for where, they'll read the thread and make notes. The truth continues to frustrate them.


As the good book says: "we can do nothing against the truth but for the truth"

Hasn't she addressed "the modern woman" who considers her career and the options she has? The "modern women" reacted, now you, a man, who has no place in her write up complains. What the fck are you doing here Captain save a hoe? She knows by now that she is a failure in addressing her fellow women.

ThothHermes:
My God.

See pain.

Stale.

PrincessB1:
Worry no more.

Thank you.

My color does not match my personality though.

No! Waste of money.

merahki:
This post is filled with warmth.
Thank you.

The fact that you are not afraid to show the vulnerable part of you on a forum where everyone is wearing masks and people are firing despicable comments left, right and center is impressive to me and speaks volumes of the wonderful character traits you seem to possess.

merahki:
I thought I did in that post, I see it wasn’t clearly stated. Africans (or at least Nigerians) were more interested in getting good grades (by cramming and sticking to course work) and the non - Africans were aggressive about getting any kind of knowledge available regarding the course topics- the conforming views, the dissenting views, the extreme ones etc, they gathered info and dissected them in class. They didn’t really care about grades as much as we did. But the good thing is that we later got there. By mid semester the classes became war fronts where views were shared. For myself I know I learnt to favour knowledge over “aceing”.
But of course this may not be exactly all that happened. This post may be rich with personal bias. The observations are what myself and at least a couple of other African students made at the some point in our schooling.

Edit- I don’t know for sure that the non- Africans didn’t care about grades. But, with all they would talk about regarding our topics in class and during seminars? I always expected their grades to be merits and distinctions, but I learnt of many pass grades that surprised me. I would get that high score but still feel I knew little about the topics. Until I learnt how to become more critical with it all. Then I became okay with knowing and “straying” around topics and caring less about my grades (which still stayed good sha)

Thank you. This is very interesting.

What stuck out to me, if I am not mistaken/misinterpreting you, was the point you made about Africans not being used to question views/opinions/theories/supposed authorities whereas white students from an early age on are asked to do exactly this, which leads to what you have described above as "the dissecting" and, in my view, the ability to approach matters from multiple perspectives with an openness and with objectivity. I was surprised to discover that even the teachers of religion would encourage students to think for themselves, critically. You know how this is generally seen by Africans and their religious leaders, blasphemy.

I think that with regards to grades it all depends on how ambitious someone is, whether Caucasian or Black, but that the academia in Western countries does not treat education only as a means to an end. Maybe that is a luxury they can afford. I have discovered that therein lies immeasurable pleasure one can derive from expanding one's knowledge, not to achieve something but to savor the process in and of itself and playfully expand one's mind.

Where are the other colors?

Go for it girl.

Ybaby:
I see you trying. Well done sis.
Read books on the Male and female energy so that you can be the woman and he will be the man. For him to have a good paying job - means he is a man and responsible too.
Let him be that man for you, talk to him as you will take to your boss but with cleavage and bumshort.
Give him food like a king, he should have a special plate, cup, chair etc and just stroke his ego at every chance.
It will take time for him to genuinely trust you again o because too much damage but if you want him - keep at it. If he is trying to provoke you start crying and take on the damsel in distress mode rather than the witch mode.
If you must abuse him say things like just because you are bigger and stronger and richer than me you want to be cheating me ... it is not fair.
Stop buying things in the house, ask him nicely so that he too will have property in the house -making it harder for him to check out
Stop that nonsense of competing with him- you are not a man. Act a little helpless and need that man. Send sweet text messages. Let him know you can not afford to lose him. Stop making him feel he is just there to help you make babies. No baby talk at all... if you use your female wiles well he will be the one to fcccuuk you into pregnancy. Love is very powerful. Use it.

You have a man who has a good job. That is 80%

About house chores, it is men who have no finance power that are forced to do house chores or in the abroad where they have no help. Cover his weakness of untidyness with your tidiness.

Some other woman will take that man in and he will be for her everything you have been dying for him to be for you because she will string his guitar properly.

What you will gain- a man that works as a machine for you so you dont age quickly, a man that adores you back.

You are equal but he is the head. Treat him that way geniunely for 6months straight.

PS this advice is not for women with men who are not financial capable o. Give those ones a broom and mop o. Let them sweep the whole street.
Thanks

[img]http:///view/blink-kevin-hart-gif-5514817.gif[/img]

[img]http:///view/laughing-hysterically-trying-not-to-laugh-cant-hold-back-gif-14897807.gif[/img]

Biglittlelois:
I've had an out of body experience, I felt myself leave my body and was going down, like falling, it was so scary I thought I was dying.

In the wake state? What induced it?

Will come soon. They will look what advanced nations are doing and copy it unless it requires them to actually spend money. That's what they have been doing all along.

I thought a near-death-experience was the experience where you lose consciousness and typically an out-of-body experience. I haven't had any neither do I wish to have one.

MoIbrahim:
And I am informing you that China is right now taking a bold preventive action which you are labelling human right violation. When it starts to yield fruits do not develop selective memory loss, and begin to say for China not to have many cases, it must be hiding something or it must have created COVID-19.

Without China we would not be in the mess we are in right now so don't talk to me about how great China is. Nonsense!

chukxie:
I'm not enlightened. I'm quite the polar opposite, a learner is what I am. The world is a crazy place, but at the same time it could be amazing, too. So, approach and live life with an open heart. Good night, bro.

Nice one. Good night.

Have the name tattooed somewhere.

chukxie:
You spoke of Chinese factories as though you had been in one before Apparently you have never been to one. . Don't believe all the gibberish pedalled by western media who wave prejudices in the news they dissiminate. For instance it isn't uncommon to hear western media portraying Nigerians as potential crooks; Arabs as potential terrorists; Latinos are drug dealers. But you and I know such portrayals are far from the truth. The same goes for the Chinese, not everything said/ written about them by western media houses are true. Good night.

Ok Mr Enlightened Person, you get your information from traveling the world. How did you like Eastern Europe?

chukxie:
You've technically called me stupid but I'd take that with a pinch of salt. No qualms. Only a person who lacks cogent points in an argument condescends to using invectives. Good luck with your 'try your luck' endeavour in the US.

I have called your question stupid. Big difference.
As for the cogent points, I missed yours in the last mentions.

chukxie:
Have you ever been to any factory in China? Ever?
You watch too much CNN, Foxnews, BBC...hence their narratives are all over your write-up. Can't blame you, though. Listen, man, agreed the Chinese can be shady and often times downright untrustworthy. Don't these same adjectives apply to the Americans, the Brits, The French, The German...? They are all the same. You mentioned human rights. In America, for the tiniest of infractions blacks are gunned down by white supremacist officers. Oftentimes those killer police officers are either found not guilty or given some ridiculously light sentences. How many times have you heard of blacks being killed by racist police officers in China? I live in China so I'm speaking from experience and not from the skewed news pedalled by Western media houses. Again, the Chinese are shady, but they are not as bad as being portrayed by the West.

Have you traveled all the countries you have mentioned today? India, Bangladesh, America, Eastern European countries? No? Then stop asking stupid questions. If you have no more arguments, just say so. And I would much rather try my luck in the US than slave in China.

chukxie:
[/b]

The person who either directly or indirectly; knowingly or unknowingly pays for workers to be exploited and the person who provides workers to be exploited are both guilty of the same crime. It's akin to the relationship that exists between a sex syndicate, a love-vendor and a hooker.

I agree but the topic wan't about corporate responsibility but China. If we want to discuss guilt and responsibility, we would have to consider consumer greed as well.

Perhaps you need to be more objective in your criticism of China rather than writing with your emotions. Every country exploits certain vulnerable groups of workers. From Bangladesh, India, Nigeria (Indians and Lebanese pay Nigerians peanuts for back-breaking jobs), Europe (especially Eastern Europe ), the UK, the US, China...

Again, we have been talking about China here, not Bangladesh or India, which, I agree, are not better than China when it comes to human rights and employee protection. But even if we did talk about those countries, the simple reason that people are exploited in other Asian or African countries does not make China any better. As for Eastern European countries, which ones are you talking about exactly? Because there are many and most of them are far better in terms of human rights, civil rights and health and safety protection at the workplace than China. There are nuances and degrees in everything and the simple reason that you can't treat humans the way you can in China is why almost the entire textile industry manufactures their products there with children inhaling toxic fumes from the burning of shoe gums because they don't care about environmental protection either.

MoIbrahim:
The subject is that this explains the fewer number of cases in CHINA. The subject is that it has worked for them so far.

And I have shown you that you can approach the pandemic successfully without violating human rights.