girls in here how do u handle a stingy boyfriend not that he doesnt give but has to look for change b4 he gives u the money am almost being forced to leave him

pls am available but the distance will be a problem cos am in owerri

@anusman because l no accept u

@ituen l will take the offer of being a mistress since l will enventually graduate to being one of the wives

l think l want to be paired with ituen abi anyone get complain

@ayusman am more than perfect for a king not even the prince and u know what that means

what am l supposed 2 do l have noone to be paired to

what lovely teeths she has iteun must be proud of her

Men Are Hard To Please
Men Are Hard To Please

The problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him
If u Don't, he says u are too PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.
If u don't make love to him, he says u don't Love him
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEMS, he says u are TROUBLESOME
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him
If he SCOLDS u,
it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE,
u Cannot be TRUSTED
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u
SMOKE, u are BAD girl
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMENT.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
sooo hard to please!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true, 
but if u don't, they say u are selfish, 
The moral of the story is, SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE
ANYWAY,  Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter

Incomplete in Marriage
1. Marriage is not a word. It`s a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor`s Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking. The husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don`t know son, I`m still paying for it.

10.Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn`t know hiswife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman`s hand before marriage, it is love. After marriage it is self-defense.

13.When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman`s arm soon have arms in woman`s sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can`t face each other, but still they stay together.

19. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right, I just didn`t know her first name was Always.

22. It`s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT

25. WIFE: Let`s go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN`T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished

are there producers in the house l have a script l feel should be put on the screen for viewers ,if there is anyone interested please send me an e-mail-prettydoris22@yahoo.com,or u can equally call me on 08030544680 please no pleasure calls strictly business please

@poster u really caught me cos l had someone on my mind

abeg give am belle if u like am well well

what would u do if this santa comes to your home with an xmas gift 4 ya

tessy is this a christmas gift or something

mine is omo super blue omo washes even brighter than it shows

l like u all 4 liking this forum

is there anybody with a partime job in owerri ,l need one b4 l go on service

he is known as onwa and i am nkem

still trying to laugh

rubbish

l know this is not the forum 4 what l want to post but could some one call this no and tell him that if l commit succide becos of him he wont find it funny 08037102238

A Dog talks to God
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs and less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying hello.
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -- not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy -- so when I play with him and he makes that noise, its usually not a good thing.
And, finally, My last two questions, Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

The WIFE

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."

Another guy says, "What's that?"

The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.

A girl asks, "What's that?"

He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."

A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE."

Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?"

She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Bleep, Etc