₦airaland Forum

Sagamite: You keep on arguing me, me, me, me.

Have you ever considered looking at things on average? At things on probabilities?

So because a child from a ghetto school gets into Oxbridge means it really does not matter if your child goes to a ghetto school or to Eton/Harrow/Winchester if they want to go to Oxbridge?

So because Djimon Hounsou made it in Hollywood means where you grew up (be it Africa or America) does not improve your chance of making it in Hollywood?

I say me, because I give myself as an example because don't want an argument where I am told I am talking rubbish without any background. I will not argue over something I do not know about or have not experienced. It is better to use yourself as an explanation.

What does being a ghetto child or djimon Honsou in hollywood got to do with what I have written?

Sagamite: I can't believe you are still arguing that a two parent household on average has better impact and contributes more positively to a child's nurturing, future relationships and self-development than an average one parent household.

I am not arguing what you just spewed. Maybe you should go over what I have written.

[quote author=Ileke-IdI]^^^beautifully explained

I'll leave the argument for you two, abeg.[/quote]Lool, I'm tired sha. We just going in the same circles.

stillwater: I don't think either of you (Kandikane/Ileke idi) should be arguing with me on the need for father's love, because both of you even prove my theory right judging from what I can decipher about your family background from previous posts. Not trying to slander anyone, by the way.

Still water no one is arguing you about your father's love because as for me I didn't experience that but you cannot argue either because you have not experience what it's like without one. Don't think because of a father in your life that's why you had education as your main priority or you have your future planned out etc etc etc. If your father is not a millionaire then as an African education will be your top priority whether you like it or not. I have seen people who had father and mother and they a living absolutely rubbish lives. I can argue a father's love more so than you because it has never meant anything to me and also because I am doing well without it. This saying is true, "you cannot miss what you never had."


P.S I know perfectly well, what type of love we get from this thread but that love isn't "everlasting" as you say it is. When you see two people that have been together for 10,000 years it's not the same so-called love based on sexual attraction, it's more of comfort, the struggles you have been through to get where you are today, everything you have shared-being use to that person for so long you just cannot go. Believe me, if you reach 60 and you are still with your husband you will understand. Whoever told you that love that was first based on s£xual attraction lasts forever is a liar and has been watching too many fairy tales.

You say age comes with maturity, yes, that is true but that is because of experience. How can you be mature at 25 when it comes to relationships when you are just entering one? Ehn? How does that work even? Whether you are 17 or 25 you feel the same love. There are no levels to love, nor be competition. At 25, you will know then how to pick your man or woman well because through experience you have learnt what is best from your past relationships.

Lol, but you cannot preach love to a 19year who started dating at 17 when you are just starting out at 25.

To your question, I have been with the person I was with when I was very young. Only now problems come dey but so are solutions. I did not planned on being in a relationship, it just happened. Not because I went searching for a father's love-Rooofl. When I went in there my focus was for him to end up being the husband that's why we are still fought it out. Not this 'cockroach lovee' of jumping from one to another every one week.

What do you say to couples who divorce after 10years? Cockroach love because it did not last? Lol, no because love alone will not suffice. All that butterflies you feel at first does not last oo. Sometimes, just seeing your partner's face annoys you.

You get 17 years old that are more mature than you because they started experiencing life from a very tender age due to no fault of their own.

Sorry about the typos, don't have time to go over. Its 7am

Do you think he will come to say thank you?

Dbanj, if you pass through shout out for I have a bone to pick with you

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO! I couldn't stop laughing.

Going to repost this, too funny.

@stillwater, so because you have a father around you tend to have good taste in men? I disagree.

Erm, this notion that love is meant for adults or that young people are incapable of love is untrue. The only thing I will say is meant for adults--scratch that not even adults, people with mature minds is when it involves s£x due to the emotional and physical ties.

Find me any research that shows love starts at 21 and I will find you one that shows it starts in the womb :-p

stillwater: I have always wondered what would even make a girl [i]willingly [/i]open her legs at 13-19 years? Talking about the Nigerian culture here, oyinbo can go to hell for now. Either she's been deprived of her father's love or she's poor and some guy promises her some money and olojukokoro would not let her stay one place. The foundation of her family is not right if she wants to tell me it's 'love'. Your father's love and maybe errr... mills and boon should be enough. Which kain love I dey love as a teenager? The man must really be gold. So because of one yeye secondary school brat I will ruin my life, wetin him sabi? Boys dey even vex me then. Yeah we do have crushes , but there were priorities and that is to finish school. Low self esteem is very very bad in females. You don't even need a boyfriend at that age.

Lool, na father love go make your body tingle abi?

adewale2011: AM REALLY INTRESTED IN THE JOB, ITS NOT JUST BECOUSE OF THE SALARY BASE, BUT BECOUSE OF THE SAFETY OF THE USERS ONLINE. MY APROCH TOO SOLVING THE SPAM PROBLEM WOULD BE SENT TOO THE MANAGEMENT BY E-MAIL, IF MY POST/APPLICATION IS GIVING APPROPRAITE CONCIDRATION. IT WOULD MY PLEASURE WORKING FOR YOUR SITE...

Lol, I think we also need someone who has a good grasp of the english language.

Sagamite: In my own generation of growing up, we use to have access to a far better contraceptive system than the West have now or could ever dream of. That contraceptive hardly ever lacked effectiveness or lead to parents throwing their hands in the air saying "if they are going to do it, with or without your knowledge they will do". It was a powerful bipartite contraceptive:

1) Let the child know I will kill you if you get pregnant or get someone pregnant. That acted like the modern-day condom.
2) There is a lot of public shame to getting pregnant at an early age or even outside marriage. That acted like the modern-day s[i]e[/i]x education.

IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM! IT WORKED LIKE THE CONCOCTIONS MY BABALAWO NORMALLY GIVES ME!

I can not think of any girl in my youth that got pregnant. Girls used to want to do it, but the fear paralysed them to the point they felt there was no point doing it as they would not enjoy it without a relaxed mind.

Unfortunately for us, we have an insatiable appetite to copy oyinbo. We think anything they do is better. So we change what we do to what they do. Nowadays, parents would even excuse themselves to give their wards an opportunity to do it in a "safe" environment because they believe the kids "will do it anyway".

Just because you did not know anyone who got pregnant does not mean even with those threats they did not get pregnant. This generation still get those threats from parents but the fear is not there anymore. Probably parents in obodo oyinbo copy oyinbo but African parents still use the same old techniques still. That is not enough any more, teens these days have their eyes on their head. I remembered from primary school kids playing '7 minutes in heaven. I am not condoning teen s3x because it is something that affects you both physically and mentally especially when you barely started puberty but by connecting with your teens on the same level I believe could possibly extend their first s3xual encouter a few more years. I won't advise my child to go have sex but if she does and I find out I will make sure she is protected first. Whether I like it or not she will still continue to do it. I am being realistic and from experiences with people even if I bring down fire and brimstone, once my child starts that is it.

You should put yourself in your teen's shoes first, remember when you were young how you outsmarted your own parents that is the same way they will outsmart you. Always be a step ahead of your child. All the shouting, screaming and threats isn't enough.

Sagamite: It just happens that NONE of the things you listed is an appropriate definition of being mentally unsettled.

Mentally unsettled means the mental questioning of one's completeness. Not whether you cross the road with you left leg first or how many Indonesian friends you have.

Surely if you grew up in a single parent home, you would miss the presence and feel of a father figure. You will question who your father is and why he is not there (if he is unfortunately late and/or not present in your upbringing). You will wish you lived under two parents when you are constantly bombarded with images of a wholesome family by the media through adverts, your favourite shows, your academic studies of family formations etc.

You would question if your father loved/loves you and wonder what life would be like if he was there to guide and mentor you. Worse when you hear your friends talk about their fathers, not just their mothers. Or when you see them interact with their dads and the men are doing their best to make their child's life easy or are guiding them in life. Or when you see they have 2 alternate shoulders to fall on and you have only one (that might not always be available due to life's challenges, even though she wants to be available everytime).

You would feel just slightly down everytime you have to explain a father is not in your life to inquisitive acquintances.

Those are what I meant by mentally unsettled or things that lead to it. The frequent, maybe transient, questioning of completeness. It is not, and does not have to be, a violent or bombastic unsettlement that requires the NHS to prescribe pills. It is just that pins and needles, that draft under the door frames, that missing piece in a giant puzzle at the back of your mind.

Some handle it well, some don't. That is why stats normally show that children from single parenthood have more tendencies to be on the wrong side of the law, to be teenage mothers, to be less successful academically etc. Not all of them, but it increases susceptibility drastically. So having two parents would have made a difference to majority of them.

I stated what can possibly result from being 'mentally unsettled'. I see where you are coming from but I have never ever once questioned my completeness.

I have never missed what I never had because I never felt like I lacked anything. In fact, I cannot remember ever asking for my father, I remembered being told about him. I do not feel a twinge of pain when I see adverts on tv or friends with a father and a mother. It's crazy how people think because you do not have the person who donated his sp£rm in your life you lack wholeness. Even when you are asked about your dad and you tell them they feel the need to say "eyaa, sorry ehn" o___________0. If you are brought up by strong women there is no need to want a male figure in your life. People that feel incomplete without a father are those whose mother's have not been giving them sufficient care and love.

I do not think having two parents in my life would have made any difference, the only difference it would have made is if the guy was rich.

I must say though, there was only one time in my life that I realised "ohhhhhh, the dad is there." I was on the train and it passed a field and I saw these two parents and their kid and the dad was swirling the kid about. I smiled, think how lovely it looked, and I think for a second I put myself in that position. It could have just been the scenery around them that just made it look lovely. I don't know.

That was the only time I would say I yarned for a dad but that thought went away as fast as it came.

I just don't like when people assume all of us feel incomplete because we don't have our dads or even feel sorry for us or even live better lives than us.

I would like to ask those with mum and dad a question, please tell me what your dad does for you or has done that your mum doesn't so to know if i have missed a vital part in growing up. I don't believe I have.

Fine girls that can't dance. What a shame

Personally, being brought up by a teen mum is not as bad as people think. Obviously for me, in the early years it was hard but it got better. My mum managed to finish her education and make something for herself. if -God forbid I become pregnant at this age(you still have people that think I would follow suit), however badly I detest the idea of an abortion. I won't keep the foetus. I have too many plans and future ambitions that I need to establish for myself and future generation before having a child or even thinking about starting a family. For my own child, she won't even dare!! Even if I have to take coat hanger carry that zygote out of her uterus I will.

I just think teenagers these days have become to spoilt and rampart. Even with the abundance of free condoms and contraception and morning after pills(UK)they are too lazy to use them.

Parents, doctors, government and media in Africa should teach teenagers to protect themselves from an early age because if they are going to do it, with or without your knowledge they will do. By talking to your child about s£x and advicing them they can come to you one day and say "I have become sexually active." You as a parent cannot stop your teenager once they start but you can stop them from getting pregnant and catching STDs by helping them to access the facilities which can provide family planning. By doing so you can avoid that heartache of having to kick your child out because of the pregnancy and embarrassment.

I have nothing against teen parents as you can see above, if you are one well done and have a good life.

Just my two cents.


P.S, to ye saying a child is mentally unsettled without one parent. --I would like to say I do not live in a council flat, I do not hang around in gangs, I don't live in an area filled with single parents, I do not carry around knives, I do not lack anything, I have not become a single parent, I have never tried killing myself because I only had one parent, I come out with great results, I have a great future ahead of me, I am very healthy, I have never been declared insane, I don't feel the urge to be violent without sufficient reason etc.
Having just one parent in my life doesn't make me any different to those with two. In fact, having two would have made no difference to how I am living today. Some men are just there to donate sp3rm that's about it. The rest is what the sp£rm receiver makes of it.
The way you bring up your child as a single parent is very crucial because of the stereotype that's in place. Bring your child well so to avoid this rubbish about being mentally unsettled.

excuse my typos. Its 4am.

[quote author=Intrepid!]E don tey wey dis aunty ugly sha. See as she be like 100-watt bulb.[/quote]na lie kech you!!

you probably toasted her before she was known and she refused that's why you are so bitter

Na my wife you dey yab so

Another Okija: See this Yoruba girl o!!

Just pray I dont get this job.. You will be the first person I will ban.. You even resemble spam.

kekekekekeke

honeric01: Why not empower existing mods with abilities to deal with spam? giving them power to filter, ban and block users with at least 5 "report" history?



Just my opinion sha.

*thumbs up*

Seun I think you should consider this.

^hi ignoramus. *runs away before he bombards us with ignorant comments*

abiki: Go knack your head for wall if e dey pain you.

Neeh, I'll pass.

abiki: Can't you read? They said $100,000 for each of the 153 passengers.

If I couldn't read would I be here. Which kine kwesun be this?

It was a simple mistake!!

And why are you correcting when people have already done so? Ah, you want to be part of the crowd?

denitro: Are you ok?
$100,000 per victim (for each person)

I could ask you the same. Are you ok? Can you not see that I have been corrected?

Laila Ikeji: it doesnt take d pain away. They were all soooooooooooooooooooooooo worth more than that!!!!

these airlines need to be given more severe penalties when their planes crash. That way, when they realise they lose more if their planes crash compared to if they dnt fly, they will sit up.

to think this crash could have been avoided jst if dana mgt had listened n not flown dat day. its sooo sad.

No, it doesn't but the money will come in to good use e.g funeral costs and for many who lost their breadwinners, it will help them.

Funkymallam: Read again. The $100k is per victim not all. Stop reading just headlines. Gosh!

Ohhhhh, my bad. . . Using phone so.

[quote author=Nwa_Nimo]The Airline doesn't pay that - the insurance company does.

Part of the ticket fare goes towards paying the premiums.

Lets hope its not a Nigerian insurance company.

And as already stated - what about the victims on the ground, in the buildings etc?

Also, say 3/4 members of the same family lost their lives - I guess they pay 3/4 times $100,000?[/quote]Yes, they should.

Seriously, 160 people- oh so they didn't count those below ground? that's about $625 for each victim's family. What a big fat joke!

$653, about the same. Big fat joke!

Its because it's Africa. :-/ They should be payings thousands to each family.

justwise: I see where you coming from, but people from other faiths can post similar material just to balance it. When the poster started this as a thread i moved it to religion.

Oh pardon me. I didn't think it was in the religion section. I was even going to tell the poster to post that in the religion section.

ladywise: HEAVEN OR HELL

You were born to make a choice: If you do not make a decision, one will be made for you - HELL.

If you want to go to HEAVEN you must:

Accept the gift of Salvation. Jesus Christ died on the cross for you, rose again 3 days later and is offering you Eternal Life (Matthew 27&28). Also, live for Jesus. Read His Word - Learn what it means to live for Jesus and what the Holy Bible says about the real literal places of heaven and hell and who will be there and why.

Recognize that Jesus loves you. He died for you. He wants you to accept His gift of Eternal Life.

The only way to Heaven is through salvation. Through the Grace of Jesus Christ.

If you want to go to HELL:

Do Nothing. By rejecting Jesus' salvation you reject Him and God and forfeit any right to a place in a heaven.

If you do not make a conscious decision to follow Christ, then Satan has automatically claimed your soul. Whether you want to believe it or not.

There are only two places you can spend eternity, either heaven or hell. If you don't believe there is a hell that won't make it go away. There are no other alternatives, no second chances once you are dead. You make your choice where you will spend eternity, now, while you're alive. It's as simple as that. Don't be deceived by other vain philosophies and deceit. The word "death" means separation from God. A believer in Jesus Christ never dies. When a believer dies he or she goes to be with the Lord in heaven. When a person dies who rejected salvation, his soul goes to hell to be 'separated' from God.

The Bible says it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment (Hebrews 9:27).

"And I saw the dead, small and great stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them; and they were judged every man according to their works. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." (Revelation 20:12,13,15).

Every person who has ever been born will stand before the Lord in Judgment. What are heaven and hell like?

Heaven

Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him - I Cor. 2:9

For God so loved the loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life - John 3:16

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also - John 14:1-3

HELL

A lake which burneth with fire and brimstone - Rev. 21:8

A bottomless pit - Rev. 20:1

A horrible tempest - Ps. 11:6

A place of torment - Luke 16:33

A place of everlasting punishment - Matt. 25:46

A place where people cry for mercy - Luke 16:24

A place where they wail - Matt. 13:42

A place where they have no rest or peace - Rev. 14:11

A place from which the smoke of their torment ascendeth up forever and ever - Rev. 14:11

A place from which there is no Escape.



Jesus Christ said, "He that is not with me is against me" Matt. 11:23

Jesus wants you to be in heaven with Him someday. heaven is a perfect place. A prepared place for a prepared people. There is no sin in heaven. If you accept Jesus' salvation He will forgive you of your sins.

How can you accept His salvation?

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart, man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation - Romans 10:9,10

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved - Romans 10:13

Jesus was put on a cross to die for your sins. He died for you. All He asks is that you give your heart and live your life for Him. If you want to accept His salvation and receive Eternal Life in heaven with Him, then pray this sinner's prayer to yourself and to God and mean it with your heart:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know that I am a sinner and that without you I am lost. I ask you to forgive me for my sins, for the sins I've committed against others, and help me to forgive the sins committed against me. Cleanse me Lord of all unrighteousness and make me righteous in you. Lord I believe that you died on the cross, rose again three days later, and that you are offering me Eternal Life in heaven. I receive your gift of salvation and ask that you come into my heart and be my personal Savior. Fill me with your Holy Spirit, Father and help me to live for you from this day on.

Thank you for saving me Yahushua (Jesus), thank you for sending your Son to die for me Father. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins and for being my Saviour. In Yahushua's (Jesus) name I receive and pray, Amen.

Yahushua promises eternal life in heaven for those who love and seek after Him. If you accepted Jesus into your heart then build a relationship with Him. He knows you and He wants you to get to know Him. Find a good Bible-believing and Bible-preaching church that can help you build your faith in Him. But most of all, read the Bible and Pray. Let the Lord lead you and guide you.

http://www.sherryshriner.com/sherry/kingdom-of-God.htm

I'm sorry, although there is 5likes to it. I think its unneccessary and should not be on here. There were people with different belief systems on that plane. Mod, this has to be removed.