Well Gates, the penalty is three months without pay, make una do the mathematics vis-a-vis 30 billion for the akant

Guys hi, has anyone used their cousin to fulfil the family relative criteria and it worked? I dont have siblings in Canada but i have a cousin who i grew up with and she's willing to help. Spoke to someone and I was told that i should just include it in my letter of explanation...is this possible? Thank you in advance.

Dear Team, Please I am done with IELTS and WES, now i'm filling my EE profile, I just need clarification on the point at which i will be required to submit scanned documents? Is it at this satge I am or after i get the ITA. This is because I have been filling and have not seen a point for uploads, and I am about to submit the profile. Please epp a sister abeg. . I have read from the first page oh, just confused.

HBD!

Its a ghen ghen something!!!!

IamPatriotic:
I can't stop thanking God for the kind of Wife he gave me, as long as God reigns, she won't make me do something half of this silly! NEVER!

So if you do anything silly it is your wife's fault....Are you serious?? therefore if your wife kills you it should not be her fault as you might have annoyed her....too much sense.

Hi all....I need help with this dilemma i'm in, and I know i'll get it here.

I am a graduate of Mass Communication and I have been working in a bank for about 6 years and was not promoted. I however have always had this strong pulling to work in the Media Industry and recently I was able to search vigorously and i got two offers in two Ad Agencies. The better of the two wants me to head the digital marketing team they want to set up (I have done several courses in Digital Marketing by the way, while at my current job). I was about dropping my resignation on a Friday and my name was on the promotion list the Monday of that same week.
The ad agency is not intending to pay more than 100k, but I am supposed to head a team so it sounded ok to me, since i have no experience in that field.

The promotion changes the whole game and I am stalling. I just need to hear other opinions about this, as I might not get another opportunity to switch industries as I have spent my major years in banking, and we all know how the banking indutry is.

Please help.

SECOND WORSHIP SONG IN 20 YEARS WELL

Hi all,
i am graduate of Mass Comm but i have been working in the Bank for 6 years now. What NOC could I possibly fall under? I have been searching for a while and the closest is NOC-6551. But its not related to my qualification.Is that an issue or not please?

haylegbede1:


The ad agency is even expanding, doesn't that mean your salary will grow?

Thank you. Hopefully it will.

toyeoye:
6 years and no elevation? My man, go for what you love! If you have passion like you say for the lower paying job, balance the equation with the amount of fulfilment you get doing it. Life is short. Money shouldn't dictate our lives! Don't let the fear of poverty hold you back from finding fulfilment. Make a move.

Good luck.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

So guys, I work in one of the old generation banks and I've been there for going on 6years, same level no growth. I got an offer to join an ad agency that is expanding, they however will be paying about 100k (basically half of what I'm used to earning), right now I feel like I don't mind as the fire of passion is burning in me and I don't want to miss the opportunity. I studied Mass Communication by the way. I just need objective and varied advice. Thanks!


@lalasticlala
@mods

Nice one from Tecno!

Good one. This regular killings of people that come back home is one too many, how will people in diaspora feel comfortable coming home?

...yet another life wasted.

I was watching an old comedy CD and could not get over The I-Go-Dye “Atutupoyoyo” joke of them days… and I wondered if it was coded in the DNA of parents to think a child is the cutest thing ever or if they knew the true situation of things.

The pidgin saying, "Monkey no fin, him mama like am" too lends credence to the fact that we take am as e come.

It made me remember my visit to my Secondary School bunk-mate's house when she had her second baby.

The first baby had her aunties (Her mum’s sisters) asking ALOT of questions, “didn’t you not use hot water to press his head?”, “Maybe you should have used pregnacare, did you use your daily vitamins?”, “Hope you ate fruits and a balanced diet not just Milo”, they had questions with not enough answers. They finally concluded the father’s family genes was heavy upon the baby…very convenient conclusion.

Now her second baby was (Baba God…. how do I Say this and still secure my plot of land in the Heavenlies)…well her baby was facially beauty challenged, I am trying not to use the U-word. We were about three of her close pals in her house and we were coo-ing and saying “cutieee” and all what-nots, next thing she said "abegy the baby looks like Obasanjo but na me get am, I love am" she burst out laughing and we laughed and I said “My dear who fine epp? "


I know her well, since our newbie days in JSS1 and one of her strengths is the ability to see things objectively, the way they are and say it with no sugar-coating.

Did I mention her first child, is the funniest and brightest little chap, he knows ALL African countries and their capitals and he is just 6 years old.

And am I the only one who has noticed that cute couples have beauty-challenged babies, and couples who are both beauty challenged/have one beauty challenged party have the cutest babies.

Karma abeg no jam me and the fellows who laugh on this post.

#JustRandomMusings #healthybabyandmommaallthatmatters

Dont know the section where this fits, @Lalastilala you are needed oh.

Well let me give y'all coded gist. The answer scripts have not been marked. They are in a heap of ghana-must-go bags in a top official's office. Search actively for other jobs. If this clicks at the convenient time then so be it, however dont wait on it!

lonelydora:
It beats my imagination how some women delivers on the go. Is it that they forgot their EDD?

The EDD can come between two weeks earlier or even two weeks later. The doctors even tell you that. The urge when it comes is uncontrollable, the contractions just become so strong that it pushes the baby out, and the mother's reflex is to push. God is great i tell ya.

Yeah I do, just playing around.

PettySniper:
na wah oh.... love yourself joo.. variety is the spice of life

So the talk about Serena being 8 weeks pregnant and winning the grand slam at the Australian open in January is what is hot right now. Her pictures are all over the internet and yeah I know, we all know, that the Queen-Serena is great, awesome, fantastic ati bee bee lo…
But what I want to even talk about is her gluteus maximus that’s bigger than Bombay.

Just when I was recovering from the Mercy Johnson pictures she took with Ebube Nwagbo, as in why didn’t Baba Lord give me a big bum naaa.
I wish!!!! He is all knowing oh and knew what he was definitely doing because if I had a big bombay most if not all of the following would happen;

1. I will name myself Asibong- Assy for short. Ha!…let me dissect, Assy(for obvious reasons, I gat a BIG BUM) -Bong (well because I need to lay claim to that region where their names end with -bong). To show I garrit AND can use it.

2. All this drummers at Owambe Parties will be on speed dial to follow me to every party while playing the gan-gan version of Reekado Bank’s – Your Problem dey for your back, I’ll drop it low and pick it up slowwww.

3. I’ll definitely incorporate it at Corporate Affairs Commission. I need it to be able to sue and be sued, haters take note. #bigassdontcurr

4. I’ll become a problem in Danfo/BRT- Because my bum has weight and occupies space, it Matters….gerrit When people are complaining in the bus, I’ll be like “Make una no vex oooh, its not my fault,”, while pointing at my yanch and they’ll be like “Eyah Pele, is too mush”.

5. I’ll be that girl that suggest twerking as a solution for EVERYTHING… Need to raise cash for charity Twerk. Need to improve your grades? Please Twerk. The recession digging too deep in your pockets?? Twerk!!! Its your birthday? I’ll wrap my bum in wrapping paper, tie a pretty bow on it and Twerk,Twerk, Twerk, Twerk.

6. When I’m older, I’ll call myself “Olori Kejimuse Idi-Araba”

Let me calm down here mehn. My imagination is making me go gaga. Till that miracle happens I will be hating and doubting the authenticity of big bums in circulation, as I lay down to convince the Lord that I will still maintain my plots of land in heaven if he just turns my figure 9 body to an 8.

Am I alone in this

(C)KEJISMUSE!

please I need the link, kejismuse@gmail.com

yes oh

Abdhul:
Another one is wearing prison gown without sentence

Nigeria...

illegalGangla:
Somebody went to Harvard yet the school denied him........

That one na bomb

...Of the century

The first quarter of the year is gone and some events occurred that would have qualified as good plots for April fool pranks but are unbelievably real. A lot of interesting events didn’t make the list; From Seun Egbegbe’s arrest after being caught trying to swindle again, to Kemen’s disqualification from BBNaija after being caught on camera in a very controversial position with TBoss who was “Unaware”, Tonto Dike’s video detailing her alleged domestic abuse story and Harvard and London School of Economics rebutting our Sen. Melaye claim to being an alumnus, the whole Certifi-gate…emmm, ok imma leave that alone. I have made my point.

So the below are my top 9 April Fool’s Day prank worthy events that are real…unbelievably.In no particular order;

1. Abubakar Shekau (Boko Haram Leader) resurfaces after his 5th death: The Director of Defence Information, Maj.-Gen. John Enenche, said the many faces of the terrorists’ leader have remained misleading. I took the deepest sigh in the history of sighing. He even compared the resurfacing to Osama Bin Laden’s death where a DNA test was the final proof that they had the U.S. Army had actually killed him. And I am thinking okay…what will our proof be?
2. Court Order stopping premier of Okafor’s law: Omoni Oboli was accused by a Jude Idada that she stole his story idea for the “Okafor’s Law” movie and she allegedly developed the movie without giving full credit. The fact that it was on the premier day she got served the court injunction on screening the movie and then the event continued without the actual movie screening was interesting.

3. Nigerian Court Vs Fanta and Sprite: According to article on bbc.com, a Nigerian owner of a chain of non-alcoholic drinks shops in the Uk, imported Nigerian made Sprite and Fanta.However, they were confiscated after being declared unsafe for consumption, due to high level of benzoic acid which can cause cancer when consumed alongside Vitamin C. The Nigerian court is saying NBC must include a warning on their containers that the contents of the product cannot be taken with Vitamin C which NBC is currently fighting in court.
4. Popular EbonyLife TV show “The Spot” aired its final Episode 30th March 2017: This one here hurt my feelings a lot. Because the hosts were incredible, young and unbelievably intelligent. Their gists were like agbo for my fever.

5. Apostle Suleman vs Stephanie Otobo Saga: Yeah the accusations and counter accusations made me ask soooo many questions and unfortunately there were not enough answers. A simple call log request from MTN indicating the timing and duration, plus looking at the visa on both Passports would have helped…see, let me leave this alone.

7. Ben Carson calling the Slaves Immigrants: Human beings were taken from their homes, bundled and shipped at the bottom of slave ships to foreign land and Ben Carson referred to them as “immigrants”. I read his “Gifted Hands” book growing up and I liked him. I would suggest he sticks to Brain Surgery.

8. EFCC recovered $9.8million and £74,000 from Ex-NNPC GMD: Well the money was hidden in a fire proof safe and his claim was that it was gifts from unnamed persons. Horrifying yet amusing.

9. Kemi Olunloyo’s Arrest: The vocal Journalist is being held over her story of actress Iyabo Ojo and Pastor David Ibiyeomie in adultery mess. Her case and Audu Makori’s will be precedents on how bloggers publish content online.

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This issue that made rounds this morning about the girl that paid a guy back after he took her out on a date made me come up with a list on types of guys women NEED to avoid. Dem team bad decision girls need to read and digest this!!!

1. Mr Cheap Guy: This guy always subtly suggests a cheaper option even on a first date. He will hint to you that a wife-material is supposed to be prudent. Every time you order burger/hotdog instead of asking him to give you the money to cook Egusi Soup, he will judge you… Always feels you need to be grateful for money he spends, always on a tight budget. My dear, you will most likely hear him say such things as “N2,500 for a plate of rice, that can buy a kilo of chicken and 5 Dericas of Rice”. You better Run. E.g @pabloayodeji. (Dude that was trending this morning)

2. Mr. Omo Mummy: This guy calls his mum at least twice a day and she takes important decisions for him, like when he should change his boxers. This guy loves his mum and he shows it to the world… every word from her is a quotable and you will be blessed regularly by it. His favourite song is Olamide’s “Mummy oh oh oh, wa pe laye” which he sings with his hands held high and eyes closed. You will hear him say things like “Any woman I marry will have to go on 6 months cooking training with my mum” …Your life is in her hands. E.g Clarence Peters, Wizkid

3. Mr Player: High flyer, smooth talker, killer physique, go getter, fast riser in his chosen career…I can go on and onnnn. This dude is a catch, the problem is, he knows it. He is the farm tool called ‘hoe’ because he digs his tool in random dirt. There is a different woman for every day of the week that ends with –day. He is likely to say “You are my Number One baby”, problem is… number 1 out of how many others Girrrrlllll… E.g Most Nigerian Male celebs.

4. Mr Pepper Dem: Good Lawd! This dude is the epitome of Foine (Foine is Fine raised to the power 100). Go on a date with this guy and you will need to wear iron panties, so you don’t give it all up too soon. But then this guy speaks… and he looks like a cake of No Future Ambition with a cherry called Stupid on top. The only thing dude has going for him apart from his gorgeousness, is his prowess in the sheets, you’ll speak foreign tongues when he handles you, and many a woman have become prisoners for this reason. He is likely to say, “I am a professional back-up dancer”, at 40 years. E.g Jim Iyke (in some movies) and Hanks Anuku (in ALL his movie roles, just take away the fake accent and weed).

5. Mr Baddosky: He makes Terry G look like a Chioma Jesus. Very adventurous, never a dull moment with him, he has crazy swags too. Push his wrong button and you’re history. But his carriage is a turn on to many a foolish woman. You will likely hear him say “Let’s go club at Cave Cubana in Wuse tonight”, and you are in Lagos and its past 3pm already. E.g Majid Michel

6. Mr Delusional: This kind of guy has the finest guys in the area as his friends, small problem is he is NOT. He carries himself like one of the fine boys and he is on your case telling you about all the qualities a girl must have before he can bless her with a relationship. Girls with little or no self-esteem are the ones that he successfully traps. Run fo yo laif! You will hear him say “I need a babe that will tend to my needs, with a foreign degree, a good job, be a good Christian and must have a big behind” Good luck meeting those criteria. E.g Uche Maduagwu

7. Mr. Baby Daddy fo-life: You better don’t hold your breath when waiting for this dude to propose. So what if you both have been together 10 years and have two kids….and so He is all you want in a man. He has a well-paying job, he is romantic, funny, sensitive and on top of all that, your family love him. Sad. He is likely to say “Hi, please meet my sweet, loving, caring and delectable Baby Mama”. E.g Olamide, Davido.

8. Mr. Pretty Boy: Always well groomed. In fact, he takes his bath morning and evening(which is good), uses his facial cleanser and then moisturizes before he sleeps. He will judge you if you do rub and shine before you sleep or even if you have been rocking chipped nails. You better be careful of him because, we live in perilious times, and his sexuality might be questioned sometimes. E.g Uti.

So what do you think


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