₦airaland Forum

raumdeuter:
Bullying experience can be turned into how to stand up to adversity

To show how ridiculous this comment is. It's like saying Rape experience can be turned into how to stand up to adversity therefore rape is a positive and good thing. I don't think you really grasp what you are saying or implying.

raumdeuter:
Bullying experience can be turned into how to stand up to adversity

There are people who have committed suicide by being rejected for visas, by boyfriends by jobs

Yet this week another set of human would be denied jobs visas and love

Link me a research or study that shows the positive of bullying on pubescent children and teenagers.

raumdeuter:
Can you explain the positive outcome of failures which makes people lose their self esteem and suffer severe PTSD. From exams to business to family etc

Yet failure happens everyday and can we wish it away

Same with disappointment and rejection

They are various research on the positive of failure and how it's a major component for success. Can you link any source on the positive of bullying like you claimed?

raumdeuter:
Failure makes people commit suicide and have PTSD same with disappointment rejections etc

So does that mean you wont experience this in life? And when you do, how will you handle it

Failure is not the same thing as bullying at all. Trying to draw a parallel between the two is irritating and dishonest. Failure can be a learning experience, bullying is deliberate harm. You are trying to praise bad behavior instead of addressing and stamping it out.

raumdeuter:
Is rejection, failure disappointment and all negatives acceptable? Bullying doesnt have to be normal or acceptable. The reality of life is that you will meet with unacceptable and abnormal situations in life as you go.

How much of an effect they have on you might depend on how you have prepared yourself for it

Can you explain what positive outcome bullying has for a child who loses their self esteem and goes on to suffer severe PTSD into adulthood?
There is extensive research showing the long term psychological harm bullying causes to children and how it negatively affects them later in life. If you are aware of any credible studies demonstrating that bullying has a positive impact on teenagers please provide the links.

GloriousGbola:
You are missing the point. There are bullies out there. If you have little exposure and therfore little resilience, you are a prime target for them. This can be in school, in the workplace, any where. Sometimes I have seen that people who I would not expect are bullies when they meet someone they think will not push back

I get the general point you are making. Yes the world is filled with assholes but bullying in teenagers have no positive effect or benefits. Infact people do commit suicide and have life lasting PTSD from bullying when young. Dayo was trying to paint it as some sort of positive In life when it's not.

raumdeuter:
There is nowhere you will grow up in a real society and not meet bullies

Yes most people will experience it at some point in their life. But that doesn't make it acceptable or normal. It does not help anyone become stronger from everything I’ve heard of people’s experiences. Especially bullying in school seems to have a long lasting negative impact on the person. Maybe because it’s at a critical stage in life but it always causes issues. You are trying to twist it as positive when it's not.

GloriousGbola:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6yNQEhm7yY?si=o6CkPO_cxOhPof6h


You will meet bullies no matter what and like predators bullies are good at identifying and isolating the weak.

If you have ever seen the consequences of bullying in teenagers you won't be typing this. It's just excusing crimes because criminals will always exist.

raumdeuter:
Bullies are part of life just like failure disappointment rejection

There is no environment where you won't face it. Part of character building is being prepared for it

No, bullying is not part of life. Your argument is built on false premise.

raumdeuter:
Real life is not curated specially for you
You will meet all sorts of people in the course of life and you need to be equipped to deal with it

What happens when you grow and suddenly meet bullies in real life ?

No one said real life is perfect, but that doesn’t excuse allowing or even praising bullying among teenagers like it’s some kind of life training. It isn’t. Bullying isn’t character building, and it shouldn’t be normalised or defended.


If the best example of how “good” older generations supposedly had it is celebrating bullying then that’s not a positive, it was part of the problem.

raumdeuter:
I know a few and I sometimes feel sorry for them and the way they have to grow up, Less human interaction, less coping skills with real world issues, more sensitive

When we grew up it was rough and you had to develop a thick skin, I remember in secondary school when we will just sit under a tree and start Yabbng aka "messing" ourselves. We that were somehow protected from home had to develop thick skin quickly, There were people who would just pick on you to beat up because you looked like "Agric" so you would quickly form alignment with other strong guys

By mid teens the challenge was talking to girls, so you would brace yourself up and go toast a girl on the street, 80% will yab you, your guys will laugh at you and move on. It was all fun and something we still reminisce upon.

One of our mates who is now a pastor wrote a love letter to a girl when we were in JS2 or JS3, The entire girls hostel read the letter, The following morning that was how like 30 girls came to fight the guy for daring to toast their friend. On our whatsapp chat we still laugh at them till today

Then the Interhouse sports, the miming competitions, the LIT, the Drama club/week, The press club and bugging people, writing stories about people. That is how we knew about another guy who dey wet bed in another hostel

In The US there is a study that GenZ have poorer human relations, they talk less to each other, they are all on the phone, even asking on a date is through phone apps, Most have never spoken to a girl 1v1 before. They still have the hormonal desire but not the "liver to make it happen

The girls too want guys who will talk t them but the guys are not like that anymore. Its simply swipe right and next 3 messages ask for nudes

Also they are having less sex than any generations less. This is breeding more redpillers and more feminazis who dont know how to relate with each other and opposite sex then think Andrew Tate is the model man or some bitter female is the model female

Atimes I am almost like guy sneak out, go to parties, take your dads car, go try to impress a girl, get laid just live a normal 22yr old life

You are trying to frame this as entirely negative when it isn’t. What you call “developing thick skin” often just excuses and normalizes bullying in schools.

Gen Z are actually doing a better job than previous generations at calling out bullying and stopping it when it happens plus they are also more sympathetic and tolerant. They also drink less alcohol and smoke fewer cigarettes than older generations. On top of that, they’re not rushing into marriage or getting married at very young ages, when their brains aren’t even fully developed yet. They are also inventing more and pushing technological advancements faster than previous generations.


Like every generation, there are pros and cons.

DissTroy:
"False rãpe allegations is not an issue" - they do not matter.

-– Kimberly.

Obsessing over false allegations is a distraction created by rape apologist . They’re insignificant next to the massive scale of rape and sexual assault committed by men who never face consequences. I will say it over and over again.

abduleez1:
They all know what they're doing and feigning ignorance.
Are the majority of Christians in present day even Catholics??
Why didn't he say all Catholics? He used precision with his words even regarding the Catholics but when it came with Islam he used a wide painting brush for every single person cos he knows he has people who share same bias, prejudice or disdain for Muslims will try to deflect for him and come to his aid.

This was my very first reply to him explaining my intentions and apologizing if he found it offensive. I don't know what you mean by bias, disdain or looking for aid. You are the ones blowing it out of proportions and taking it out of context. Some how you are interpreting it to mean condoned or rooted in Islam.

Kimbeast:
You are being emotional. I didn't say all Muslim men did I ? I said Catholic priests and Muslim men on young boys. I gave examples of the two groups that has been documented engaging in such activities. I didn't say all Muslim men and Catholic priests commit rape. If I say Nigerian women are beautiful it doesn't mean all the women in Nigeria are beautiful does it? I apologize if you found it offensive as that was never my intention.

Sportsweb:
Oga every rape claim should be investigated and scrutinize. If it truly happens punish the MF that did it, if it turns out false, punish the b*tchh that laid false accusation. It's simple as that. I even support serious punishment like life imprisonment for r@p!st, but same punishment should also be give to false accusers.

No where have I said false allegations when proven should not be punished. Most rape cases are hard to prove unless there's a video evidence. That's the reason rape and sexual assault barely get any conviction in court and why they are underreported. People accused of rape barely even face any consequences as it is already.

afrodoc2:
I know that you have made a vow against knowledge but I will humour you.

1) Most Muslim Arabian regions practice Bacha bazi.

False. It is practiced in Afghanistan which is not in Arabia.

2) Bacha bazi is a Muslim practice.

False: Introduced into Afghanistan by Greeks/Macedonians.
Outlawed severally by Islamic regimes.

Bacha bazi is neither Arabian nor Islamic.

1) Bacha bazi and it other form of men sleeping and raping other boys is prevalent in many Arab and muslim nations. This is very much documentated. I don't know what you mean by false.

2) I never said it was allowed or permitted by Islam same way I didn't say Catholic allowed it's priest to rape boys. I said Muslim men do rape and have sex with their younger men as documentated. You are the one taking it out of context by thinking I implied it was a Muslim practice.

afrodoc2:
The Bachi Bazi he referenced has nothing to do with Islam or Arabs though.

It was introduced into Afghanistan (then called Bactria) by Alexander the Great and his Seleucid and Graeco-Bactrian successors in that region.

Pederasty was common and often encouraged in Ancient Greece. They took that tradition to Afghanistan and it took root there. When the Greeks moved on and stopped it, many of those in Afghanistan did not.

The guy just maligned both Arabs and Muslims based on false information. Talking about quality of conversation. LOL

I would like you to provide the false information I made and where I said it was a core of Islam or taught by Islam. If you decided to get misinformed that's on you not me.

GloriousGbola:
wow - you have to outsource your respone to a chatbot ?

no wonder you are capping

hopefully you will not go to grok for celebrity pictures next. i am told that bot has a nice trove of 'anatomically accurate' celeb pictures

you are no different from the red pill brigade who tag ALL women with the same brush at every opportunity. aura for aura.

.

Nairaland lmao. Even after showing you you were wrong rather than take correction and move on this is what you are coming up with. It's all good lol.

Theflint1:
You're the one that added all sha

I think what he meant was to highlight the culture of sexual abuse in otherwise sacred spaces, wherein even when confirmed the punishment is no more than a transfer or relief of duties.

I am literally dumbfounded lol.

It's seriously difficult to have a well mannered conversation on Nairaland. The comprehension level is soo shallow, I don't know if it's a Nigerian thing because it doesn't occur on other platforms.

" False Rape allegations is a non issue compared to the amount of men who commit rape/Sexual assaults and go scout free with zero consequences."

Nairaland version: He is saying people should not be punished for false allegations.

"Catholic priests and Muslim men commit rape against boys"

Nairaland version: He is saying all Catholic priests and all Muslim men commit rape.

GloriousGbola:
this is you casually tagging all catholic priests, all muslim men and then all men.

and somehow while you are casually smearing all men, all catholic priests , all Muslim men with the sexual assault brush , you somehow forgot that there are multiple instances of American female school teachers sexually abusing teenagers.

Sorry to say but the standard of conversation on Nairaland these days is shockingly low. The fact I have to teach you this is seriously alarming. What exactly is you talking about and where did you get " all"from lol. You guys will read A and turn it to Z to push agenda.

GloriousGbola:
and that is how you casually took the actions of some muslim men of afghanistan and decided to tag ALL the muslim men of the world

this is the same binary thinking you are using in your advocacy for false rape accusations.

in the end you are a mirror image of rape apologists driven by agenda rather than resolution

You are being emotional. I didn't say all Muslim men did I ? I said Catholic priests and Muslim men on young boys. I gave examples of the two groups that has been documented engaging in such activities. I didn't say all Muslim men and Catholic priests commit rape. If I say Nigerian women are beautiful it doesn't mean all the women in Nigeria are beautiful does it? I apologize if you found it offensive as that was never my intention.

GloriousGbola:
you are a real piece of work.

I meant no disrespect neither was I trying to be offensive. Most Muslim Arabian region practice Bacha bazi. Where young boys dress like women and get raped. It's still ongoing in some region.

Even in cases where the rape victim is male, the perpetrator is most often another male. Catholic priests, Muslim men on younger boys etc Yes, that’s a fact.

Instead of confronting the real issue why men keep doing this you derail the conversation by bringing up the tiny number of false rape allegations like it’s some kind of gotcha. It isn’t. It’s just deflection from the core issue.

GloriousGbola:
they are not rare

i also saw false rape accusations in school

relationships gone sour and then the girl gets a doctors report that she was sexually assaulted by the guy so she can 'deal with him'

even on this platform i have seen people advising girls to do that to guys who jilted them

it is a very real thing but you have decided to sit on the other side of the aisle



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO9P-RBkv1U

all i will say is as a man you should not allow your prick to take over your sense. the red flags of cray chicks are usually right in front of you when you decide to hit it and damn the consequences.

Now compare that to the amount of rape and sexual assaults plus harassment you have seen or heard and tell me the ratio. Now also tell us if they faced any consequences. This is like telling me aeroplane is not a safe means of transport because you heard and see plane crashes.

GloriousGbola:
two wrongs do not make a right

false rape allegations and sexual assault without consequences are both wrong
just as sexual assault destroys lives, false rape allegations also destroy lives

False rape allegations are rare and largely a non issue. We’re talking about ratios. The number of men who commit rape or sexual assault and face zero consequences outweighs the tiny number of false allegations by millions to one. Anyone who brings up false allegations every time rape is discussed as if they occur at the same rate is not arguing in good faith they are engaging in rape apologism and might actually be guilty of one or both offenses.

Odunharry:
Lol.
I stopped when I saw the first and last sentence.

He's telling us People who accuse people falsely of crime should go about freely whether or not the life of the accused is ruined

Common bro. I expected you to be more educated than that other nigga when reading that post.

StarchAndBanga:
Still can't believe we played Leeds, Wolves, Burnley and we only managed to win one of them..

Shameful

With our upcoming fixtures it's certain we won't finish in the top 4.

Odunharry:
Nobody is trying to paint men as innocent bro.
Any man who rapes or assault any woman should face the consequences in my book.

The issue is false accusation and people already crucifying the innocent men. What should be done to those who accuse men falsely?

I read recently a wife who came out and accused the husband of raping her daughter. The whole public was already against the man. Turned out the story is false. What should be done to false accuser?

Certain posters always rush to cite a tiny number of false rape allegations whenever rape is mentioned. It’s nothing but an attempt to muddy the discussion and paint men as victims, which is honestly ridiculous. False rape allegations is not an issue and it's completely rare compared to the amount of men who commit rape and sexual assaults and false zero consequence whatsoever. The fixation on false allegations is a deflection tactic by rape apologists.

Odunharry:
Well said bro.
Amber and Johnny Depp.
I think it's the general softness people have for Women and Children.

A man is always guilty until proven innocent and a woman is innocent until she's proven guilty.

Sorry to say but this is complete bull. The number of men who commit rape or sexual assault and face zero consequences dwarfs the already tiny number of false allegations by millions to one. Anyone trying to frame men as the real victims in this discussion isn’t being objective, they are just engaging in rape apologism under a different name.

pkasso:
Context is key here. Woltemade is in the middle of a rough patch, he has only 1 goal in his last 15 games. He is low on confidence and every goal helps. The game is dead and buried, just give him the darn PK! Gordon doesn't have to wait for Woltemade to ask to take the PK before handing it over. It's called being a considerate team mate. That Trippier almost got into a fight with Gordon over this shows who was wrong here.

By the way, I never brought up Palmer. You did, in a bid to excuse Gordon of any blame. I only pointed out why I think Palmer was right. You are the one playing whataboutism on this one.

I am simply pointing out the similarities between the two situations. And for the record, I agree with you that Gordon was selfish. I only mentioned Palmer because I remember condemning his selfishness back then while the majority rushed to defend him. That’s why I am surprised to see those same people now switching sides and condemning Gordon for essentially the same thing.

Kimbeast:
Madueke and Jackson needed that goal more than Palmer. He was already on an hatrick and we are 4:0 up. He should stop being self centered before the other attackers turn on him.

popizaino:
No cheating

The closest will be toure who played for Arsenal,City and Liverpool but he didn't go to Scotland.

pkasso:
Lol. You are clearly hellbent on making a case for Gordon 'cos how are these two situations similar ffs?

Jackson and Madueke bickering over who to take the penalty was disgusting to see. Giving either of them that PK would have caused more problems. That Palmer decided to take it was the right decision.

You’re misrepresenting my point. The only real difference is that Woltemade wasn’t aggressive or confrontational about taking the penalty unlike Gordon. Beyond that it’s the same situation. He was already on a hattrick and the team was winning comfortably yet Palmer and Gordon still insisted on taking the penalty instead of letting another teammate have it. You’re bending over backwards to excuse Palmer while criticizing Gordon for doing essentially the same thing. Palmer was selfish so was Gordon.