So done with this topic.I feel like I've said all I can. To the men who've commented so far... the world is your oyster. Yours to rule. Cheat, you hear? Hump every rump that's under a skirt...even if it's a man. Your day of reckoning is just around the corner. I had two of you in my extended family and they both died of AIDS. Full blown blood-dripping-out-of-eyes AIDS. They made it easy for their wives... wives didn't even have to cheat to get revenge. Nature sort of took care of that.

To the ladies... when the bible said, "Christians watch and pray," best believe that scripture was directed at us, female folk. Before you settle down, scar those knees praying. So you don't end up with the ilk of the ones above. Men who think that simply because they are men.. It's now their birthright to play God. Ok. Kontinu.

To those already in such a marriage, I commiserate with you. Take my unsolicited advise and leave before it's too late. Judging by some of the responses on this thread, it's apparent that cheats are and will always be unrepentant. Do not stoop to their level and deal them the same cards they dealt you. Just jejely leave.

If they come back begging as they almost always do, don't go. He's only looking to share the numerous diseases he's contracted and couldn't care less about you. If he did he wouldn't have cheated. Leave. You'll be better for it.
If for any reason you can't, you can follow my mum's advice on the first page.

Male and female children should share equally in house chores. At least that's how it was when I was growing up. How about families with only male children, won't the children do house work?

charles316:



If you were a gigolo,would you rather f0rk a sweet sexy 20 year or babyosisi + a million dollar?

Let's have the opinion of nonso23, shyshymexx, coogar, tv01, pickabeau, crack house, iykedare,dinachi,avalon316, njokusboy etc


SEX WITH A SEXY 20 YR OLD BABE

OR

SEX WITH BABYOSISI + A MILLION DOLLAR.


BTW,who has seen her pic?

Who's seen whose pic?

charles316:


I understand you perfectly.

I have three elder sisters (all married) and I will be shattered to hear that their spouses are cheating on them. But would I ask them to cheat too just to get back at their husbands? NO.

You don't quench fire by adding kerosene to it.....Seun 1876

I still stand by what I said. No complete sane man will go for an oldie when there are fresh young girls around.

If you were a man,would you rather f0r.k a 20 yr old or the op of this thread?

Thank you for understanding. Cheating on your husband won't cure his cheating for sure. But it may or may not make you feel better about yourself. I don't know. Personally, it's not my style and I won't do something like that. I'd prefer to leave the marriage instead of resorting to such antics. But hey, that's just me.

Charles, like someone else said earlier.. have you not heard of Sugar mummies? How do you think they get laid?

Nonso23:


What nonsense vow?
To deny him his basic right as a human being IN THE IMAGE AND LIKENESS OF GOD
stop reaching o jare. And just in case you don't know most of those women flocking around him are cleaner than the okro soup smelling wife ranting online.

A gigolo is not involved with the dirty old hag for nothing. Money must change hands and after his disgusting romping session with the ancient relic he will go and look for a worthier, younger partner to share his valuable life with.

I beg you in the name of God.. if you're not married yet.. spare a young lady the heartbreak and just remain single forever. It's men like you I pray against every morning and night. Lord have mercy.

DollyParton1:



You both have never heard the term "Sugar mummy"? Yall must be from some isolated cave or something. Talking like you have your eye sockets in your occipital bone.

As in... both of these guys must not know how far.

charles316:
Jeez. Is it that you lot don't see any good thing in men....in the men you are married to.
Why the constant whining every single day.
Its so scary.
I won't advice any man to cheat on his wife but if it happens retaliation (in form of cheating) isn't the best.
To those advocating that the cheated wife should cheat,I've got questions for you.

Has your husband ever cheated ? It yes,did you cheat as you are preaching here?

Cheating on him too isn't easy. Most ladies can't even get a boyfriend so how are they going to get these "sexmates"? Do you sincerely think that a complete man with his right senses will go for an oldie when there are too many young babes around?

How many of you even work out to take care of your big tummies,saggy boobs,deflected bums and over stretched pu$$eies? Then how the hell will you get these sexmates?

It isn't as if women do not see any redeeming qualities in the men they are married to. Obviously, this thread wasn't started to complain about the good husbands who know and honor the dos and don'ts of marriages. We are not complaining about men who respect their vows. We are complaining about men who cheat. And I'm sorry..but when a man cheats..it does mask every other good quality he could have.

Cheating is a form of betrayal. In your day to day life.. how do you act when you find out you've been betrayed? When a man cheats..self-doubt creeps in on the wife's part. She starts to feel like her entire marriage has been a lie. She's been living a fake reality. You need to walk in some women's shoes to really feel what they feel.

...and clearly.. you haven't seen or heard of cases where these same women you say have saggy boobs and bums have multiple sex partners. LOL. Trust me.. sex partners are really not that hard to find if you know where to look.

Nonso23:


Men ask for the hand of women in marriage. if the woman is not 'prepared' she can and I recommend always just decline. ie stay away from marriage

LOL.. you know this is very laughable, right?

So what you are saying is that if a woman is not prepared to be cheated on, she shouldn't marry?
So you are implying that we should all just assume that all men are cheats and that we would eventually get cheated on?
I'm trying to understand you here.. please clarify.

Nonso23:


I disagree vehemently... It is the other way round

How is it the other way round?

dinachi:
Clowns! He cheats, you cheat, what is the difference between you two? Both of you are cheats!
And don't start trying to give me any reason. I am sure he also had his reasons for cheating. I will not damage my personality to get even.

How about no one cheats at all? Problem Solved!

If a man knows that he is unable to rid himself of his cheating habits, he should stay single and void of marital commitments and responsibilities.

DollyParton1:


I always say it, an abusive or cheating partner must have exhibited some of the traits during courtship. Most people are just too blinded by love to notice or too desperate for marriage to think deeply. Or some are foolish enough to think the other one will change.

That's the main one. Some ladies even think they can make their partners changes. Girls love projects lol.

bukatyne:


Are you serious

You mean a wife in a loving marriage will read some ladies saying they will cheat on cheating husbands and decide to cheat?

O Lordy

I'm also struggling to understand his post as well.

Avalon316:


NO SUGAR COATING HERE.
This thread is just a way of encouraging women to cheat just to get back at their cheating husbands. Why not walk out of the marriage?
Have you no respect for your own body?



mumu,she is not out of shape.

Slinging insults now, are we? Lol. It's been established severally on this thread already.. if a woman is able to leave, then she should. What I found interesting in your previous comnent is you were trying to shift blame. Making it seem like it's the woman's fault that her husband cheats because she's out of shape. A reasoning that's just flawed.

All this talk won't be happening if men would just be faithful in the first place. If one is not responsible enough to commit to one person, why get married at all?

Avalon316:
this is good.
This type of topic is the reason men will always cheat on you.

Ya all think you can win the game?
Now lets get real.
I want to help you all. Make sure you exercise and keep to shape.
Seriously,most of the women in their late twenties or thirties are out of shape and cant even get men to look at them(not when we have girls in their early twenties who are constantly uping their game .
Men,even in their 50s, can easily get lots of fresh girls to date once the cash is there.

let the game begin.....

...and this, ladies and gents, is the problem. Uncle Avalon, since when did marriage become all sports and games? I think people need to be schooled on the rudiments of the vows they take on when they say "I do". You choose to be with a woman for better or worse and then you cite her lack of physical attractiveness as an excuse for your lustful tendencies? Don't even get me started.

If your woman is out of shape, why don't you help her get back into shape by encouraging her... If you've identified that as the problem? Shouldn't that fix it? And what of the men who cheat on their very hot wives?

Abeg jare.

bukatyne:


Isn't the bold contradictory?

If you say the society doesn't look favorable on divorced women (irrespective of the reason), which way out is the woman looking for again?

If the woman divorces at 30 or 60, the society will still look at her same way; why should she endure 30 extra years? It's not like she will be getting companionship or sweet love making.

Why also advice women to free themselves from the shackles of unholy matrimony when you advice they do not divorce?

@the kids getting married: it solely depends on them.

I'm not advising women not to get a divorce. I was just shedding light on the possible reasons why some women would rather stay than leave. Then I went ahead to say that if a woman can leave, then by all means she should. I don't think I was being self-contradictory.

Fact remains that the Nigerian society belittles women who have terminated their marriages and this remains a big impediment to anyone looking to get out of an unhappy marriage.

Going back to the basics of this thread, I guess my point is that it's easy for us to say that instead of a woman honing her survival skills in an unhappy marriage, the woman should just pack her bags and leave... this isn't always practical for reasons I've already mentioned and much more. But if the woman doesn't care about society (which she shouldn't), then instead of resorting to all sorts of tactics to help her endure, she should just leave.

Saying that the average Nigerian woman should get a divorce may look good on paper... but may be impractical. We often wonder why women would rather stomach the emotional abuse than leave.

Ever seen how society shuns and looks down on women who are divorced back home? These women are seen as failures who were unable to keep their families together due to their own ineptitude. When another male takes a liking to a divorced Nigerian woman, he is immediately warned by people who knows the woman's story to back off because she is not the kind he should start a family with.

Somewhere down the road when the woman's kids are ready to settle down and the inlaws start probing into their family history, the inlaws discover that their mum is a divorcee.Another wahala.

So yes, there are times when you just can't pack your bags and leave. There are times when you'll have to stick it out and learn to cope and survive within the relationship until you can find your way out.
Sadly, there are women who will never be able to walk out that door for one reason or the other. I believe that's where my mum's advice comes into play.

And of course if you're able to set yourself free of the shackles of an unholy matrimony.. do it. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Babymama1:


And this is the story of a lot of women
Visit any FMC. In Nigeria and see young wives dying of AIDS,passed on to them by husbands
And yet these eediots on this forum will keep advising these women to stay and accuse anyone that advises them to leave of breaking up a happy home
I wonder their definition of happy
Many of those happy women are happily in their graves.

I've sat down to think of what I'd do if I were to find myself in this situation when I get married. I mean.. what's a woman to do when she find's out her husband is a cheat? Is she supposed to insist that they use protection every time for fear of catching something she didn't bargain to catch? Seems logical to me, but also seems ridiculous in the confines of marriage. if people would just respect the sanctity of marriage we wouldn't even be having this conversation. It's just crazy, really!

Two of my aunts contracted HIV from their husbands because the men were busy frolicking and sowing their wild oats while the woman were at home raising their kids and building their own careers. Both men are dead now... but last I heard, one of the women is not particularly doing well. She's now one-fifth the size she used to be. She fit even wear my jeans now sef.

Men ehn.. necessary evils that aren't so necessary anymore.

BABE3:


He doesn't have to find out if she's not sloppy. I'm not asking her to have an affair o. This is a one-night-stand type of thing. Just sèx, no emotions involved. She wouldn't do it with a gateman or brother-in-law. That'll be very dumb


It has to be someone she hardly even knows. Someone out of state, never to be seen again. No phone numbers. No strings attached.
She has to be strong too. Not that she'll now go back home and confess her sins.

Again, if she's done with the marriage, there's no need getting even.

Yeah.. as long as she's sharp about the whole thing she should be good. These men need a taste of what they dish out from time to time.

Babymama1:


How will he find out?
Is he a spirit?
What if there are no chances he will
What makes you think men can cheat and hide their affairs and women can't
Women are less intelligent or what

Ha! Getting caught cheating is not exactly a function of how intelligent one is. I mean.. chances are your husband has multiple external escapades. If you were to cheat every time he did.. at some point you will get caught. These things happen. The secret will be out of the bag before you know it.

BABE3:


if it's a regular relationship with no kids involved, I'd advice anyone with a cheating partner to leave the relationship.

But if it's a marriage she's still interested in, with kids involved, and he's very remorseful but she still finds it hard to forgive, I'd advise her to cheat back. The idea of "getting even" eases the pain of betrayal, which is better for everyone in the long one.

The problem is, he must never find out she cheated. Ever! Coz if he does, the focus will shift from him to her.

Yeah.. but chances are that he will find out. And when he does, that relationship is pretty much over. It will take the grace of God to revive it. I wouldn't advise this. Two wrongs don't make a right oh.

See.. I've never been married but I've been in relationships.
I was in one where through Facebook, I caught the guy cheating. I'm afraid to say this.. but it is becoming apparent that the majority of men cheat. Why men cannot be faithful to their women is beyond me. But it is the sad reality and I'm not about to devise a formula to stop them from straying. Aint nobody got time fo that. Instead of wallowing over it, I think we would be doing ourselves a great service by finding a way to work around it.

Last time I was home, my mum drew my ears to tell me the following:

- Never hinge your happiness on your relationship with a man. Whether you're just seeing each other, whether the relationship is full-blown and you guys are now engaged, or whether you guys are married.. you have to learn to seek happiness outside of what the man has to offer emotionally. If you make your husband your primary source of happiness.. you are just one dose of reality away from a heart attack. As much as you may claim to know your significant other more than than the back of hands.. he is still human. A mere mortal. Therefore, like you and I, he has that predisposition to be unpredictable. To err. To disappoint sometimes.

Don't let the tables turn before you start preparing. Enter into your relationships armed so that you won't be floored when you start seeing signs. Give yourself something else to focus on. If you have kids.. focus on them. Invest your time in them. They should come first before your man (yes, I said it!). If you have hobbies that make you happy.. drown yourself in them. If you like makeup, honey, doll that face up if it makes you happy. Exercise. Keep in Shape. Cook your favorite meals and make it seem like it was his idea to begin with.

You'll find that before you're done with all of these, you won't even have time to spend thinking of what your man may or may not be doing. This is not me saying that you should be disrespectful to your husband. Do what is expected of you.. perform your wifely duties etc. Just don't make him the center of your life. If your man is cheating.. you're obviously not at the core of his either. The happiness you find in yourself will eventually radiate and keep everyone - including your husband- happy.

Having had my secondary education in Nigeria and the rest abroad, the problem lies with the students as much as it does with the teachers and parents.

When I was in secondary school in Nigeria, we were basically encouraged to "cram" in order to pass. There was no real studying done. There were no student-teacher engagements. I mean.. how could there be.. when every student saw his/her teacher as a mini god. Coming over here and seeing how education is done, it's not hard to understand why kids of the western world are seemingly more intelligent and intellectually sound.

Go into classrooms and you see students having intelligent conversations with their teachers. Engaging in respectful arguments which eventually bring up points that prompt further research, thereby adding to what they already know. This teacher-student relationship strengthens the bond between both parties involved. Students are not afraid to ask questions for fear that they would get reprimanded for doing so. They are also confident in the answers that they will receive.
Education is made to be enjoyable.. and people actually look forward to learning. As far as I know.. this is lacking in most of our secondary institutions back home.

Take it outside of educational institution and bring it home. Allow me to opine that parents these days do not do enough to see that their children are getting the best in terms of learning. Growing up.. say around age 5 - 10, my mum would see to it that I completed my assignments, help me right my wrongs etc. She went out of her way and bought me books to read. After reading, we would go over the books together to reinforce what I had learned. As I grew older, this gradually changed. She slowly withdrew her involvement in my education. I won't say I blame her.. she had other responsibilities she had to take care of and this took away from the time she would have had to spend with me. It's a tough world for the Nigerian parent today, but why not give priority to what priority is due? Youths these days are allowed to their education into their hands too early. When they sense that they have no one to answer to, and know that they only have to do little to get by.. that little is all they do.

Let's ditch the blame game for a while and focus on the students themselves. As much as the teachers and parents have a responsibility to ensure the intellectual soundness of these kids, the kids have the greatest responsibility. Nigerian students these days no longer want to read. They now believe in cheating (Expo) and similarly, at the university level, blocking. As soon as there's a shortcut available.. that's where you'll find them. Actually.. let me hold my horses for a bit and look at this from a different standpoint. Do you really blame them? They've been conditioned to believe that their environment only rewards those who engage in such practices and punishes those who actually take their time to study. When lecturers are failing those who labored hard to earn a grade and rewarding those who "blocked", why would a student engage in the former?

I could write on and on. The truth is that the downfall of the Nigerian educational system is influenced by so many factors. The rot is at the core. If the core is not fixed, I'm afraid we would continue to experience a steady decline.

Wouldn't be able to stand either. If I were forced to choose one, I'd probably go with nosy. Probe as they might, the nosy ones only know what you allow. The noisy ones on the other hand... if you like talk from sun up to sun down.. you're on your own.