₦airaland Forum

tensazangetsu20:
➜This is a lie. Men only get better with age if they have money. If you are turning old as a man and you are poor its a tragedy.

If they are rich, you mean? 🤣🤣🤣

cutecommend:
➜You can stop doing abortion from today. Turn a new leaf and follow God. Abortion is shedding of human blood. Terrorists kill, abortionists kill. Stop Abortion from today.

Poverty-graced people who have kids only for those kids to end up dying for one poverty-related reason or another are also killers.

lailo:
➜Your husband who takes care of 80% responsibility in the home is useless to u and doesnt deserve your total submission bcs it is not 100% responsibility and not taking care of your family? I fear your mentality and if u are single, twill be very hard to get a good man, aje.

Why are you folks having a seriously hard time seeing what she has been saying all this while? Is it that you desperate to ensure you invalidate her claim that her husband is useless to her in these things?

If you worked, for instance, as a cleaner for a client who pays you next to nothing each time — he only covers the cost of your cleaning supply, not your labor—, and nothing else, would you go around praising your client like he is some sort of helper to you? Would you consider him useless to you when, at least business-wise, he clearly isn't?

nnamdi640:
✓ I feel sorry for you

You should try to love yourself more so you don't go around doling out meaningless emotions like this.

StoryHaven:
➜The guy may not be 100% right but there are facts in what he said. Most women who pay their bills are disrespectful. The arrogance of "No be you dey feed me" is always there.

Almost 50% of marriages in Nigeria are bankrolled by women. We are talking here of women who are breadwinners and also homemakers. There are men in those marriages but they literally contribute the bare minimum to their marriages and their own children. Yet the women in those marriages continue to submit in marriage to those men. So, I guess, I should ask were you get most from?

Apus:
➜Stop drooling! How many men have you sampled to arrive at this? He didn't even mention Nigerian men. Your orientation is bad and you don't need saving.

Are you OK in the head there?

Nigerian tradition and culture literally revolve around men controlling their women by ensuring the women listen and obey them as a way of showing them respect. Yet you think the only way to realize this common knowledge is to, in fact, sample Nigerian men? Kai! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Demigod22:
➜I didn't know how he did it, but he just found out, the girl confessed that she only gave the corper guy handjob, that nothing happened.
Why I created this post is how this guy was able to forgive this girl with these overwhelming evidents that she cheated.
➜ For those whom have been cheated on, how do a reasonable person that is loved at home forgive a cheating partner?

The same way women are able to forgive their cheating men is the same way your guy was able to forgive the girl.

It takes a lot of courage and bravery to walk out of a relationship when one has been cheated on. Sadly, many people who go into dating don't have plans on what to do if it does not work out in their favor. So, they hold on and suffer through it as though by doing so, they are rewarded in some grand way after it all. Unfortunately, it almost always goes downhill from there for most.

2. A reasonable person loved at home by whom? The same person who's cheating on him/her, or by parents who have never cheated on each other. Which one?

Reason should not be based on what others do or have done, but on what is best for one's personal peace and joy.

chidiokay:
....osinachi whatever ... thats the " exceptions" ... i mentioned it, very few are different
Give a woman money everyday, make sacrifices for her everyday .. stop for months nd see if she appreciates your past sacrifice at that end
whatever weed you are smoking you need to change your dealer

[b]I cited the Osinachi case to highlight the fact that you lack the capacity to speak generally about women even in this case.

muyico:
➜Why on earth 🌎 will you eat foods without anything?? I prefer to starve myself than eating it

. The average Nigerian does exactly that and has come to think it is OK to eat primarily carbohydrates all day long.

Larryfest:
➜Where you go jam glutton na ..... She even goes back to the pot to take more meats after .
She was probably brought up that way or picked up the nasty attitude all by herself and you have to find out which is which before you reck yourself finally if eventually you both get married.
Her background has to be very comfortable if she was brought up that way at home because I know very well no average Nigerian family will ever tolerate that from their children and if she happens to come from the pako background with this attitude then there's serious trouble and a big red flag for later days...

Yes, I very much understand that the average Nigerian diet is not stacked as far as proteins are concerned, but a diet high in proteins is not glutenous. It is considered, for the most part, a healthier option than the average Nigerian diet.

Breatheon:
➜She always talk about how she can buy like like 5-10 chicken at once, stock them in the freezer and finish it in no time. She has said the same thing about goat too. How I should buy a full goat, slaughter and butcher and stock them in the freezer so she can eat as much as she want.
Should I also add that she eats a lot. In fact, as a man, I don't eat half of what she eats. She can eat even up to 5 times in a day or more, and always with plenty of meat.
Is this something I should overlook? Because I don't want someone to come and over stress me tomorrow. Life is already stressing me, not to talk of going into marriage with such behaviour that someone would now put it on me to be killing 5 chickens and 1 goat every week for home use. Please advise me. Thank you.

She seems to have been regularly announcing that if you cannot afford to give her protein with every meal, you should show yourself the door out of the relationship. She wants a diet that is lush with protein, and she will not settle for less.

What other advice would you like us to give, except that you should listen to her and know that you may be in over your head, as your head already perceives?

thesicilian:
That's because for women relationship is mostly about financial support

Nonsense!

yemmit90:
➜Dey play, women can do that but not for a long period of time like we men. They are not wired to do so by nature.
➜ The ones that won't acts funny or seem loyal are probably cheating on their partners.

Exactly! Submission, nurturing, etc., are not natural to women the same way they are not natural to men.

2. You're accusing Osinachi of having cheated on her Christian husband, or what?

chidiokay:
➜ what are they saying what are saying, who is talking about Loyalty ?? who told you women even have loyalty A woman pride nd submissiveness has everything to do with her level of financial independence
➜ A woman's respect/submissiveness stems from her being needy, the moment she can take care of her bills without the man, omo naa tag along husband you be oo! its not a 100% generalization but just very few ladies are exceptions

Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

Osinachi was busy paying the bills in her Christian home, yet her pride and submissiveness to the glory of her marriage gods and her husband were not impacted by her level of financial independence. She even forefeited her very life in sacrifice for marriage. Yet people like you still open mouths, wah! to vomit this type of nonsense about your religious/traditional women? I guess her sacrifice was for nothing in the end.

2. Keep insulting Osinachi, let's see if her Christian marriage gods will get angry at some point.

nnamdi640:
Someone paying 80% of the bills is useless to you, see bad mouth of the highest order. Don't even try to say it out before people reason your matter. You would have forced him to pay 100% of the bills and also carry your family problem join as if he was made to be your family slave.... You are lucky that you are married, if it was now you are reasoning like this, you for smell pepper.

Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

Apus:
➜The word "Listen" and "Control" are two different things. Make una no dey misquote people. Wondering how the word "control" take enter a simple sentence.

Stop darting all over! 🙄🙄
We all know that when the average Nigerian man speaks of his wife or woman not listening to him, he means that he is unable to control her adequately, or that she is not respectful to him in particular. 🙄🙄

Chilipepper:
➜Comedian and skitmaker Lord Lamba shared on X:
"If she is able to pay all her bills without your assistance, she cannot listen to you."
The post drew mixed reactions.
One user replied: “Paying bills doesn’t cancel mutual respect. Independence is not a license for pride, and providing isn’t a ticket for control. Relationship na partnership not boss and employee vibes.”
Another added: “A woman who truly loves you will naturally be supportive and submissive, whether or not she pays her own bills. Some women simply want to love and be loved in return.”
Some women, however, pushed back. Oe wrote: “As I’m paying my bills by myself, you have to be doing more than just paying bills for me to take you serious.”

Women need to stop telling other women these lies about how all women who are in love naturally submit or support men they love.

Every baby born on this planet — including babies who grow up to become women — undergo extensive training(sometimes brainwashing) in order to get them to listen and obey their parents —submit at that level.(Babies are said to love their caregivers yet babies have to be trained to obey said caregivers.)

Women grow from babies and equally receive training(and in many cases some level of brainwashing). Sadly, many of these women are trained from childhood by parents and environments with primarily religious/traditional leanings to equate love in life and marriage with submission and supoort for a man. Many of these women go on to live their single lives as though placeholders to be later relaced by their marriage— they never really learn about themselves in during that period as their focus is on this peak called marriage throughout. Their identity as individuals never acquired.

And this is where you find confused people such as the one whose comment is in bold believing that submission and support for a man is the natural order as far as love of a woman. They don't know that a woman's love can be expressed in abandonment of the one they love— complete absense of submission and support—, can be expressed through tough love— completely without support even with minimal submission—,and so many other ways.

ZaraArewa:
✓ There is something that has been bothering me.
I have been dating this guy for a year and he's not really committed to the relationship, he has not introduced me to any of his family members nor his friends, each time i ask he will brush it off with his sweet talking skills and kissing.
One of the main problems i have is his high demands for sex. He's always in the mood to have sex.
Pls house do you thing it's normal for someone to love sex that much?
Feel free to criticise or throw insults at me.

The question you should be asking instead is why are you still with this person whom you are certain does things that clearly bother you? Why not show yourself a bit more love and go off to find yourself someone else whose mannerisms and demands would not bother you at all?🥱🥱🥱

Why not choose yourself and not allow others choose you for their own purpose? 🥱🥱🥱

Hampers001:
➜Now that he told me his intention, he said "If i say No, he will live with guilt all his life because i already know who he was and what he wants...I like him so much but not to that route he'@?s asking of. should I break ties with him?

Is Jay also a rapist or something that you should think about breaking ties with him because you have to reject him?

Guys get rejected by girls every day, and they don't go into some sort of rejection coma —at least the sane ones among them —after that. Your friend will be fine, and if not, he will have to deal with his particular emotional issues somehow. It is not up to you to satisfy him in any way.

bigpaul84:
➜As a man you chased a lady for almost one year before she accepted you after some years in courtship you guys got married then all of a sudden the love you have for her just die once. What might be the cause(s)?

What most refer to as love, a result of chemicals swishing around in their heads, can die at any time.

Kaa4:
➜I see you responding to all the comments sarcastically, I liken your mind. You not only have time to respond to all, but also have a response to each one. That shows a seriously fecund mind.
Would you mind if I offer you to come and study psychology/sociology in this area? I will assist in any way possible to ensure you successfully complete your programme.

Study Psychology/sociology in lunacy? Nah! What most Nigerians need at this point is a mental health system advantage enough to address mental illness at the individual, community, ethnic, and societal levels, a result of the brainwashing from damaging traditional and religious delusions.

Your support can go towards funding your own therapy and that of your relatives first. And no, this isn't meant as a jab or an insult but a reality check.

Nigeria is nowhere near where it should be; this is because the minds of the majority have been thoroughly poisoned by traditional and religious delusions — contradictory ideas that border on trampling the lives and the rights of the individual and the weak to strengthen only the powerful bullies in society. We can't make sense of anything without dealing with these fundamental problems.

Kaa4:
➜Super Ok, madam. That a few failed does not call for stereotyping all others. And those people are not your ancestors but mine only because you descended from heaven, direct from God. I agree.
➜NB: I don't often respond to mentions, but I made an exception for you, so you are blessed

1. I am not the one here pretending that my bloodline is descended from some place called heaven. You are, hence the reason why I had to point out that even your ancestors are implicated in the creation of the situation that exists today.

2. You can take your exception further by deleting your account entirely from Nairaland so your opinions can remain totally private then.

NNtv:
➜Nigerians listen and obey the government and religious bodies. It is still within the purview of the government and these religious institutions to sensitize the populace on the importance of family values.
➜That's my opinion and I stand on it. Now, you can go ahead and discuss your own "awesome" solution without mentioning me.

1. Oh, they do? 😏

So, it is safe for us to then conclude that the pertains of decadence recorded over the last 50 years has been a result of Nigerians listening and obeying their government and religious bodies. Right? Why then are you suggesting a continuation of the same? So the problems persist? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. Opinion that basically insists on the status quo while pretending to be a solution to the status quo? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LARRYOBRAIN:
Our sisters from southeast and north central are the frontiers.

This one chooses to deceive himself! 🙄

fabolouz1:
➜The society is just bankrupt. There are many fathers fathering children that are not theirs because of the wife's deceit.

But many of those children belong to other married men who are themselves fathering children that are not theirs.

kokoA:
➜This one na content. How can you be away from your wife for 20 years? No woman will accept that in the first place, so Una no gbensh for 20 years??

Nonsense content for that matter. Conveniently left out exactly how much it was that he sent his wife for building funds vs upkeep.

NNtv:
➜not just the church, the government has create policies to preserve family because we are not ready to have a disjointed society that leads to rise in crime, which is always the outcome of children raised without parents.

The same traditions/churches that have been actively pushing their agenda for the past 50 years —crime rates, birth rates, marriage abandonment/divorce have all risen unabated during that period —are the same ones to solve the problem during that same period? The same government that did nearly nothing for the past 60-something years is the very same government you want society to continue to put its hope in, still?

What I have come to realize is that many of you are not really concerned about seeing real change to issues at all; you just like having a chance to spew any tripe you can all while being seen by the gullible in the crowd as attempting to proffer a solution, no matter how stewpid. That seems to be the point of your rants.

plankyjacky:
The rapid advancement of ICT and digital platforms has left this generation more confused about moral, societal, and cultural values.
Young people, in particular, often find themselves caught between traditional norms and the rapidly changing digital culture. Exposure to conflicting information online blurs the line between right and wrong. Societal values, once shaped by family and community, are now heavily influenced by online trends. Cultural identity, too, is at risk of being overshadowed by global digital lifestyles.
It's a new world .

You dey blame ICT and digital platforms, not your many traditions that defy common sense, going as far as to trample the rights of the individual, for the confusion of the young people? Na wa oo! 😏😏

gift2xl:
➜Families has failed, decay society comes from decay home's.

Societal decay also comes from the continued adherence to poisonous traditions in marriage and in the family.

Stolen:
➜MARRIAGE THEY HARD SOME WOMEN NOWADAYS. THEY START WITH YEAH I WANT TO GET MARRIED, AFTER 1 BABY THEY ARE PACKING THEIR BAG. THAT IS THE MODERN WOMAN FOR U.

A man can always choose to engage and marry women of his mother's mate or age — outdated/antiquated women— in marriage. Dem plenty for village... many of them never got around to being married sef. 🙄🙄

Offpoint1:
➜ The two genders are becoming intolerable to each other, so the Foundation of marriage can no longer hold.
➜The men can no longer control their natural instincts/settings and so is the women, so we are gradually going back to our nature settings... Or should I say we're evolving into a new phase of our naturally settings?
➜If you look into the wild, some animals are family oriented, while some aren't. Maybe we are evolving into the class of those animals... Maybe were in those class from onset and created religion to help fixed us into the other class.... WHO KNOWS?

1. Women no longer wish to settle for the substandard life of being having to give up on their dreams and goals in marriage. That is majorly at the core of the problem and until that problem is dealt with by way of laws that establish equality in society and in marriage for both men and women, things are just going to continue to get worse on the marriage scene for both men and women who enter into the union.

2. Given the freedoms that men have generally enjoyed in society for so long, this was bound to happen and is happening at a rate that other men can no longer endure, since they, too, are now being directly impacted. Hence the outcry.

3. So, basically, should humans begin adopting ways of animals?