₦airaland Forum

akanfe30:
I agree with you but don't leave out the unnecessary shift of attention by women when children arrive. At that point, some men go astray.

MetroLane:
It looks as if your head is giving birth to another head.

OP don't be scared, afterall two heads are better than one

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

nepapole:
Akunyelu ke!

rtdCivilservant:
Am I the only person with a different opinion? Nigeria has really descended into a level that can only be comparable to hell. Where is our humanity? See people rejoicing that somebody was gunned down cos of election, why couldn't those soldiers shoot the culprit any other place (like his legs) that will not result to his death? In sane countries, those soldiers are supposed to be arrested, but here in Nigeria (Hell) they are being celebrated. If only we know how sacred a soul is.

SuperBlack:
To every corper who collected money which I know won't be more than 50k. And you helped in the rigging, my dear you will Labour in vain, even if you start a business it will collapsed. No work or job shall find you after service. The highest money you ll make in this life shall be that peanut you took that made you sell your conscience.

Job in the bible will be better than you.
You will su.f.fer...

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Weaast:
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Weaast:
Only during election




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You keep changing moniker. When you are reached. You'd say u don't accept escrow..

frozen70:
Well you have to calm down at this point and be ready take it very calm with her

Just keep loving her and assist her at home and where needed

She will notice the improvement in you and that may bring her mind back home

Wake the kids and prepare them for school before leaving and ask her what she is preparing for their lunch

Get things that you are not use to bringing home, hand it over to her and tell her that is for she and the kids, even is she is coming home by 10pm, hand it over to her

This valentine, ask her to pick a place she wants you guys to visit with the children and ask her what time is good for the outing

Keep doing good and loving and definitely she will have a rethink

I purposely don't want to ask you what you did to her or why the sudden change in her
There is no smoke with out fire

Women are drama queens

OlawaleBammie:
Reason she's holding u ransom...

As a man, even if u re weak or desperate never show it to Ur wife, always act like u dont care so much, act like psychos.. believe me Ur marriage will always go well, just don't maltreat or beat Ur woman, treat her right and give her what u re capable of...then add small small weyreyism to the equation and see how Ur marriage will be balanced.

efesmith:
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QozzyBrown:
500k daily??

Abeg Boss I no believe that

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