₦airaland Forum

Ok!! Lemme lead the way!!

Vn in hausa below!!!

ochon: How you dey LIPsy

Lol.. I just dey like dele..

That epistle was hilarious.. Lmao!! I just wan wicked you with that meme.. Lol

ochon: Hello peasants and peasantesses, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, fellaz and wivez, it's been a wonderful year, filled with mild fights, subtle jabs, hook-ups and breakups, all kinds of zoning, heartbreaks, friendships e.t.c. It's been one helluva ride. So to appreciate y'all, especially King Ochon for protecting the safety of this nook, we at the RELATIONSHIPS SEXPERTS FIRM [/b]will like to announce that we'll be giving a whooping 90% discount to any threadmate that patronizes us.

I know all of y'all might be wondering what we do at [b]RELATIONSHIPS SEXPERTS FIRM(RSF), wondering "what the fúck is RSF?". Well, in RSF, we basically build relationship from the scratch. We mend broken relationship. Even when there's no sign of relationship or no hope of any, our highly recommended, quality, top notch "sexperts" have the supersonic abilities and brains to generate one. Even those that wants to be FWKB(friends with kissing benefits(reinc and SOM) ), FWB(friends with benefits), or wanna improve their "bedmatics" skills, will all be catered for in our firm/institute.. We boast of a 98% successful relationship mended rate(SRMR). Whereas other firms can't you give 30% SRMR. We've been able to hook up jay-z and beyonce, jekyll and ella, tabh and LIPsy, SOM and spade, GEJ and PEJ, obama and michelle, rooney and his wife, coleen and a host of other countless celebrity relationships and dating and marriage.


With us, you don't have to fear the virus of FRIENDZONING. We've sexperts, headed by two of our very best, King Ochon and King Reinc. Many years of getting ochonged, friendzoned, brotherzoned, siggy zoned(reinc ), no-hope-zoned,betrayedzoned both offline and online, have toughened this two Kings up and gave them an indepth knowledge of the disease called REINjection and also how make relationships successful. IyawoTm is also one of our client . Now in the spirit of xmas, we'll give out one lecture for the NO-HOPE-ZONED amongst us like dre11, GOM and dannyxy. Lwkmd. Buwhahahahahaha . To show 'em how to make a girl love you. How to make a SUPERFLAKIE(shy lady), become a LMTM(open up and chat with you)

Now, we've a case study, one of your very own, the EARBROW peasant called Njokusboy. . You see, since this guy's life, he's never crushed before. He flirted and chased gurls up and down like a he-goat on heat, (lwkmd) he never knew what fallen in love with an online character was like. He disbelieved in such theory. To him, it was non-existent, vague. All these changed when a surreal power of love/crush hit our loyal kwasia peasant called nokusboy . He fell for Lertee but the problem is that, this useless peasant didn't how to woo her, to avoid her ochonging him and also after boasting of "I don't crush" . So he came to us, reinc and King Ochon, for help. And like the caring Kings we're, we decided to help his sorry behind.

So we monitored lertee, her behavourial pattern, the she posts and most especially, her likes. Now listen up "NO HOPES"(dre11, GOM, dannyxy and co) , the best way to get into you crush's heart is to know what she likes. Her likes and dislikes, from there, you can have a better chance of breaking her barriers. . E.g, when toyintomato came to meet us, we told him, SOM a.k.a Miss Ogbuefi hates uptight guys, but he didn't listen, instead he was chasing reinc. Lwkmd. Before he could know what is happening, "the has long sailed", meaning SOM had become addicted to psychedelia and my nigga weeped . So armed with our lesson, njokusboy, made the first and BOLD move. Emphasis on "bold". You see, ladies love confident guys, guys that ain't scared to protect them and showcase 'em to the world. That's why lekpalicious chose reinc before ochonging him. Lwkmd . Reinc no vex, but I have to say the truth. . So as I was yarning, njoku made the BOLD move below ↓↓↓↓

The words were so on point that toyintomato began tripping for him. . Lmao



When he made that move, he was doubting the potency of our skills and he wrote


So like a sexpert I am, I told him


but the useless peasant lost hope when lertee replied his epistle with. Just "awwww" and then he complained to lertee, asking if only "awww" is what she can say. Telling her "so you ochonged me". Lwkmd. And attacked me saying

But as an experienced sexpert, I retorted, encouraging him that we never fail to deliver with the below


He then mailed us offline, ranting and raving but King reinc would have none of it and told him

Reinc: sharap there this bloddy peasant. All these peasant around me, I'm a you king.

Ochon: kwasia reinc mumu, advice him jor, you are here shouting peasant this, peasant that.
mtcheeewwww.

Reinc: earbrow, you have to trust us. Our services are well known, it never fails.

So the peasant was now full of confidence and wrote below

Lwkmd. Buwahahahah

So I chipped as with my expertise


And like all ladies that love confident guys, lertee fell dangerously in love with him and confessed and even blew the peasant a kiss


The earbrow lord nearly fall my hand by hyperventilating cos of a kiss, but I forgave him cos I know how love dazes us all


But I had to caution him and tell to be on his toes before he slips up


Now, you see, the problem with all these NO-hope zoned like dre11 is that they ain't versatile. That's why superflakie got tired of "do you have a thing" ish dre11 was usuing to break her shell. Lwkmd. So being an expert in this, I told switch to another hobby of lertee, which is her love for novels. In case you didn't know. Njokusboy have never read all those novels that he was saying. We told him to lie, just to make lertee fall for him. He was like "but she won't forgive me if she finds out" and reinc told him

Reinc: mtcheeeeewww . Useless peasant. Shin shin, you don't know. You don't know shingbain. . Haven't you heard of "if you have never lied to your woman, you don't love her"?.

Ochon: I tire for this earbrow. Don't question us goddamit!!. Do as we commanded, this earbrow peasant .

So the peasant switched to novels and lertee fell for it,, see below




At point, when njoku was breaking her shell, she became shy. Awwww... Now fellaz, when a lady is shy to look you in the eye, it means she's almost fallen, a lil "push" and she's all yours and also give her confidence too like we told Mr earbrow



Awwww. Love nwantiti. *sniffs*.
Now the NO-HOPE zoned, always remember that the LIPsy's will always try to discourage you. The LIPsy's are those that are tripping for a gurl you want but lack the confidence to talk to her, like KsliP . See below

LWKMD. Papa ostrich too wicked

But njoku did fear, cos he's gotten lertee where he wanted her, so he kept up the novel chat even though he has read none of them. Lwkmd


Now as I lectured you guys earlier, don't dwell on one subject, know what the lady wants and use it to break her shell. So when njoku ran outta ideas, he consulted me and reinc and we told "she loves Man Utd", attack her from there, she go go gberekete" and the peasant attacked sharparly. See below




And then King ochon stepped to bless the union and cement the legacy of NJOTEE


So you see, all those OCHONGED and REINJECTEEs, don't fret, patronize KING OCHON AND KING REINC and y'all lives will never remain the same



Mail us @ KingOhcon@peasantreinc.com.



Happy new year in advance E-Fam

*****

This may sound harsh but @op abeg send her back to her parents pending when you change your mind, thats if you ever do..

This is now beyond the virginity ish.. Its now about trust, I wonder how you can be able to trust a woman who lied with such a thing and did not feel the urge to tell you the truth and went ahead to marry you, still keeping this big secret.

Your so called 'wife' is wicked.. Yes,Only wicked people do that..

jmoore: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Lol. I know that line..

Anyway,its cool.

jmoore: Everyone is beautiful.

Deep down, you know thats not true.. It sounds harsh but thats the truth--- not everyone is beautiful..

At first, I wanted to ask "What sort of a question this was"? But considering the fact that worwor girls far out-number the beautiful one's, i think the question makes sense..

Well. Op, maybe the Ugly one's be like "Abeg no time, i go marry anyone wey come my way abeg. Afterall, wetin i wan take do yanga"?

While the beautiful one's are still very picky when it comes to men. They want to marry the best guy out there, and that process of waiting for the guy with Jesu's qualities takes time..

dre11: *just passing and SMH* hahahaha!

.. Bad belle!!

King Rein: Bwuahahahahhaahhhahahahhahahah *wipes tears*. It's true sef

Bia, Chukwu Aghala'm--- I no trust this your laff atalll ...

It has been long you last spoke here..

Tabh, hope you good?

dre11: so as i try make one moniker wey get bed space for here and no dey talk, come talk go make me enter highlight


*Thinking*
Then, making highlight have lost its usefulness

Erm!

dre11: Abeg na who get this Gumzee moniker

you have been on this thread for a long time and no single word from you

are u ....................
Don't let me say it

You no go siddon shebi? You wan enter highlight again?