₦airaland Forum

eni4real:
Your interest in Entertainers tho!!
You seems to have an affection for celebrities in entertainment industry!!

All i know is that, no matter how mild , we will have to cope with each other in Marriage..

It is not always smooth sailing dear!!

lol sure i choose to cope with what life throws at me and minor flaws that will not cause me bodily harm, drain my mental health and give me high bp.I will hold him down and be his pillar so long as he is not the source of my troubles and travails.

Lol this topic is centered around gucci and snoop who are both celebrities so i dont understand your assumption that i have affection for celebs,lol. You said it the first time and now you are saying it again forgetting who the topic is about.So me knowing about Celebs means i have an affection for them, lol thats a new one,lol ,alright , have a nice day .

eni4real:
Feminism did not originate from Nigeria... So, I am not surprised that ladies from different race agree with her...

Ladies always have each other's back, whether genuinely or just to not be the odd one out!!

Some of them may even have their husbands coping with their worse flaws, who knows??

Social Media is very deceptive!!!

If Toke fall in love today, I am sure she will sing a new song...

this where you get it wrong ,its not feminisim to refuse to be put through heart ache. I tire for you o,so domestic violence and phillandering is a character flaw that women have to put up with? Lol . i have heard you ,but you see as i dey so, i wasn't built like that.Make we rest for the matter,i am sure there are men out there that are the complete opposite of Gucci like Russell and ciara , Cassie and her man, well those are the people i choose to look at. I am not cut out for the bonnie and clyde life. Those who are good luck to them ,and goodluck to me too.

eni4real:
No be Toke?? She is fond of blowing man-woman issue out of proportion.. in order to create an impression that women are maltreated in marriages!!

Men are also coping with women flaws on daily basis... They will not just blow any trumpets!!

but the reactions on that topic from white, Latina and black Americans shows its not just Toke who disagrees if you want i can give you screen shots of different women from different races and what they had to say, but you are concerned about Toke because you dont like her for reasons best known to you . reply me if you want screen shots of women of different races and what they had to say.

eni4real:
Exactly dear..

And someone level of intolerance should not be a benchmark too..

Toke Makinwa definitely overreacted to Snoop's post!!

no she didn't, snoop made it cool and made it look like she as was a wife material for staying lol. My own wife material is reserved for life challenges not a man still on a teenager self destruct mode

eni4real:
I knew it!!
You know what??

You will definitely find your kind of man that will treat you according to your heart desire!!

But don't discourage those that will pull through while sticking to that spouse of theirs...

As a guy I know my limits when it comes to perseverance.. I know those that are better than me. And those that I am better than
.

I don't discourage those that are more emotionally matured than me.. I see them deal with issue I can only dream of

And I don't force those that are explosive may be because they already sensitized to the same scenario or because that is just their nature..

They should be themselves.... unless they are open to some kind of improvement!!!

Be yourself dear!!!

isn't that what i have been saying since tho? . To each his own ,there is no competition for who is the most tolerant and one person's level of tolerance should not be a bench mark for other people. Simple

Korllami007:
Then is your choice.

You quit or you stay. Then stop making it to look like women don't have flaws in marriage or they all innocents and men are the real devils in marriage. They are women that are throwing shit to their husbands and their husband still decide not to divorce or chase them out. They have the choice to call it quit.

Exactly, but the issue here is women who choose to quit are tagged "not loyal" . If you read what she has to go through i am sure no man will stick around for such tho. Anyway like you rightly said , its a matter of choice and i personally will not take all she went through repeatedly to get a ring ,she is a hard worker, she really worked hard to earn the ring, but me ,i am just too lazy, i want a man who already has his shit together so we can both weather through the storms of life together.

ericsmith:
when they say woman fix a man, its not literally means sit a man n the woman d goes to d chalk board like these is bad, that is wrong.
in the societal context, they meant a woman's presence n way of doing things can av great influence on a man... boiz av bin carefree all along and it majorly the presence of a woman that awakens the sense of responsibility n bin responsible in dem .. Ladycewhy u don't av to teach, ur endeavours alone will influence a normal guy.
surprisingly there is no useless head anywhere, handicap is limited to the body

there has been useless heads my dear which is why brain dead people are pulled off the plug.

As for the bolded i am temped to ask the duty of his parents in all this especially his mother.

I tried doing that,but it nearly gave me a blind eye from beating. A man will change because he wants to not be of any woman's presence ,that is a misconception that has landed many women in their grave because they thought "he will change".

eni4real:
Some ladies don't even know why they have that degree??
Should we stop supporting them because they are directionless??
It is a 2-way thing!!! We will continue to cope with each other till eternity... Feminism cannot do anything about that!! Even the "Mother of modern feminism" knows

this feminism you keep shouting here is what i don't know ,how does feminism relate with not putting up with bad behavior of a man tho?

Well let the ones who can go ahead, while you sit down and refuse to make conscious effort to work on yourself because you know she will take it and cope. Goodluck to you and the one who ends up coping with you as for me i am out for a man with a sense of responsibility who will join me to raise my kids not a man who i have to raise along side with my kids.

Korllami007:
Wow. Perfect woman with no flaws. The same way all women in marriages have no flaws.

for one i will not disrespect or cheat or cause bodily harm and expecting my partner to do same to me is not asking too much now is it?

AntiBrutus:
No be today nyash dey back na. If this woman was a Nlder and created a thread;

"My bf cheats on me, does drugs and a jailbird"

Do you think they will sound as supportive as they are? I remember once making a post that it isn't always about money or pri k like they insinuate- but some women are obsessed with "fix it" mentality. The insults and objections I got that day ehn. Now they are supporting same thing, because they think this is an attack on men.

There are just very few rational men on NL. The rest change mouth depending on whose ox is gored... I can never take advice or compliments (when I say what they like of course) from these ones...

lol. the truth is Nigeria is a mysogistic society, there are still places till date where women are forbidden for getting an education. So its nothing new.

eni4real:
Come back here, we are not done!!

You can conquer anything if you are truly in love!!

Marriage is a work in progress...

lol, you have made your point and i have made mine. Love can conquer anything except domestic violence and infidelity i have experienced both and i would not wish it on my enemy ,i felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest ,which is why i commended Gucci's wife ,but you see me ,i wasn't raised that way, i am not built that way ,growing up i didnt see such toxic behavior so having to put up with it is strange to me cos i took time to get my sh1t together ,i expect a man who claims to be ready for a relationship to do same ,from there we can begin to wriggle through the storms life throws at us not storm he throws at me that i have to wriggle through on my own ,that is my own definition of marriage in progress.

AntiBrutus:
Any lady listening to these guys will just die before her time. Don't listen to the advice most men give women, it is always to indulge themselves.

To make you endure, then call you wife material in your front and fish brain at your back.


The only reason they are supportig this woman is because they think Toke is attacking men.

Create this topic on a neutral ground and they will never agree the womam stayed because she was BUILDING him. Rather they will say it was because of money or prick...


That is exactly how most are. Use your uppers.

And good day...

lol you get the drift.

eni4real:
Menstrual cramp and Labour.. I know...

But that is not the kind of pain I am talking about..

Marriage is not a bed of rose!!

lol pain is pain oga, don't come and add to it for me, why cant we be partners instead like adults , working through what life throws at us instead of you bringing me pain with your excesses which you choose not to control.

I am down for a sensible man who know his direction but i cant come and sit you down as my husband and be advicing you like a teenager for wetin?

eni4real:
I don't ask them to force themselves to be mature.. They should recognize their limitations and take their decisions..

Women are not the same in mental strength. ..

Some are very sound and have a lot of emotional maturity, while some are very volatile..

A volatile partner will not tolerate anything outside the range of her capabilities... It is better for her to get out of that Marriage...

But she should not discourage those that can cope...

Toke is not a mouthpiece of all women.. She should stop discouraging those that are more emotionally mature than her....

And that fertility example, it is a very common phenomenon in marriage... Even families AKA womb watchers will begin to be worried once they can't see any sign after 1year of marriage..

The man' s maturity matters here...

lol, And snoop dog is a mouth piece for women i suppose? Making it cool that you have to suffer ,to struggle to put up with delibrate disrespect just to get a happy ending is nothing but encouraging women to have less value for themselves that to me is the real limitation.

Many people who see no problem with toxic behavior today likely learnt it at home,they now think its ok ,so i am not surprised people promote toxicity and call it loyalty. One thing i am glad about tho, women are no longer subjecting themselves to be guilt shamed. In your own words if you leave a toxic man you are immature and limited ,well i accept to be immature to an immature head of the house,let's all be immature. Case closed. Have a nice day.

eni4real:
You are not the one that fell in love with Gucci?? Are you??
Sometimes, love give you strength to do what on-lookers will never be able to attempt!!

If you ask her, I am sure she will tell you that "it worth it afterall"

I don't see life as a bed of Rose.. Many ladies want no pain in life.... How is that even possible??
Even the rich cry

of course i am not the one that fell inlove with Gucci and i don't wish to be in her shoes either ,but does that make me a bad person ,no.

I am not cut out for torture love the same way not everyone is cut out for BDSM but you don't see people going around trying to guilt shame people who are not into it as being immature.

Ladies have painful life already make no mistake, menstral cramp every cycle is enough pain already, she doesn't have to add a bad man to her plate

eni4real:
Women also come with flaws in marriage.. And men cope with those flaws just fine..

While some cannot cope with it...

Your example on schoolling, franchise or twin killing is not an example of happening in marriage or what spouse deal with..

Everything is not just Male vs Female.. That is a fundamental problem of feminism..

We are talking on the context of coping with the flaws of your spouse whom you claim to love and to spend the rest of your life with..

Some just don't have the mind and health to cope while some have it...

Those that don't have it, should just quit..

But should never discourage those that are matured enough to cope..

Let me give this example, a woman is not able conceive after 3 years of marriage and the test reveals that the husband Is fine but the woman has issues...

Some men cannot cope, after seeking fertility help for few weeks they give up.. Marry new wife, baby mama etc..

But some husband will stay for as long as that IVF is successful.. They are matured enough to deal with it

Toke and her cohort should stop discouraging spouse that stick to their partner, whatever it takes!!!

Those with limitations should just be themselves and stop promoting fake movements!!

Now there are life challenges and there are character challenges we must learn to draw the line. Biological issues such as infetitility is not the same as a man publicly disrespecting and cheating on his lady, lets get that clear. We must learn to differentiate character flaw from life challenges, i am sure there are men out there suffering infertility issues but their wives are gladly taking the blame of a childless marriage just to cover the ego of her husband.

Like you rightly pointed out this a not a male vs female thread ,but let me tell you this ,it is not a limitation to refuse toxic behavior those women who listened to sermons like yours because they want to be mature are in their graves at worse.

eni4real:
Are you an entertainer or have you ever been on weed?? What is your business with Whitney Houston??

Some guys are level headed, gentle or calm/cool or whatever word you ladies use to describe them.. But end up marrying a lady with flaws of verbal abuse/temperament nonsense .. They can wake up the dead with verbal abuse... Some men can't cope with such.. They will say it point black, "I will rather get a divorce than become a beast because of your incessant verbal abuse".., While some will handle it with more maturity until the lady minimize her excesses...
You are a lady but I put it straight to you that there are some ladies you can not cope with as a room mate or flatmates...
But such ladies will marry someone and the husband will cope until she get corrected..

While some will see coping with such a lady as "suffer head"

The difference here is ability to tolerate and preserve.. That comes with a lot of maturity...

If you don't have it just accept your limitations

But never discourage those that have it!!!

Are we not saying the same thing?.

I used Whitney cos she look many other women who are on the other side loosing or lost because they wanted to be in your words "mature" lol. How many more women had to go down that road tho is what i keep wondering.

You keep calling it limitations so i ask ,the trashy man dishing out the BS what do we call his behaviour? .

You know what i would rather be limited to taking BS, than put with years of torture, i am here wondering at what time he decided to change , how long did it take for him to finally man up?. Its was not just once or one area, he did it all and repeatedly over and over again. I certainly will not want to be in her shoes. I value myself too much,there are good men out there who wont make life as complicated as Gucci made it seem, and i choose that .If that to you is a limitation, then i choose it .

eni4real:
Yes!
Also those who are skilled at perseverance are not doing anything wrong..
They should not be discouraged by any fake movement!!

Toke and her cohort should just embrace their limitations and stop discouraging those that still believe in looking out for their partners until they get it right..

I believe that Marriage is a work in progress..

Its not a limitation to demand for respect, if you call it a limitation then we can say demanding for women to go to school for woman to vote for twins not to be killed were all limitations that should never have been allowed to happen.

Demanding to be treated like a human being and refusing to be put to hell because of a man who refused to fix his flaws is not a limitation but self awareness and self love.

Read all the things she had to deal with, and i must say, she tried ,but you see ,i have seen women do all this and it didn't end well for them and i am sure there are millions of cases like that but na the happy ending own we go see ,lol

Yes marriage is a work in progress between two adults but when one is assigned the duty to fix the other it becomes a rehab center.

eni4real:
You can only speak for your self..

There are women that can cope with men flaws and therefore get the best out the relationship..

Don't try to discourage them..

That is what Toke and her cohort are doing...

Men cope with wife's with Temperament flaws, stubbornness flaws, verbal abuse flaws all the time and they get the best out of them.. Eventually having a good family because the lady was able to get corrected... Old habits or personalities don't die easily..

I don't see how a wife can not do the same for her husband flaws..

Most women just want a marriage without any form if stress?? How is that possible??

Even biological sisters can be irritating sometimes, talk less of 2 individuals from different backgrounds that agree to marry..

There is no way, you will not have to put up with flaws until your partner get corrected..

But if due to health or psychological reason, you can't cope. Just get a divorce...

And please, don't discourage those that are matured and sound minded enough to deal with their partners flaws and eventually get the best out of the Marriage!!!


I

lol ,i had to laugh at this ,so suffer head na maturity, did you bother to find out how she coped with all the trash he threw at her? Did you find out how many nights she went to bed in tears? Did you find out if she even had to abuse sleeping pills(americans are heavily medicated) to get over her ache ,did you find out if she even had to book appointments with therapist to keep her sanity? Lol of course not ,its the end we see , i guess Whitney houston wasnt matured enough and it sent her to her grave while bobby is still here enjoying his new wife.

eni4real:
Life is not a bed of Rose!!

Every relationship/Marriage MUST go through a teething problem!!

Whichever life throws at you just deal with it...

Or get a divorce if you can't cope due to psychological or health reason!!

Exactly,that is the point.Those who refuse to put up with it are not bad people but only looking out for themselves.

ericsmith:
when as human you av headache or magrine, why is it always the responsibilty of ur body to get the head fix. the annoying part is those bitter drugs you take 1st go through d stomach, why not to the head directly.
females are given so much training from childhood for a reason, as small boys the only training we had was education ... nothing happens btw father n son.
a gurl of 15 wil do so well in matrimony that a boy of 21 they're prepared 4 it. gurls mature faster

And that right there is the problem, no wife should be handed the responsibility to train a grown man, even educators will tell you there is a stage you mould a child once you miss that stage it will be difficult to change that child not to talk of a grown man.

As for your analysis on the brain and body,the brain controls actions of the body ,if the brain is useless (brain dead) the body is gone ,so also women should not put up with useless heads so it doesn't drag them down.

eni4real:
The 2 options here, is that the woman should walk away by getting a divorce. .
Or cope with his flaws...

Some women has temperament flaws, verbal abuse flaws, stubbornness flaws etc but husbands are coping...

I don't see Marriage or life generally as a bed of rose... But if as a person, you can't cope due to health or psychological reason, it is better to call it quit...

But never discourage those that are capable of persevering and getting the best out of the relationship eventually!!!

see i am not discouraging women who put up with trashy attitude men throw at them, if for anything i must commend those women, they must have a special support system ,i mean the cries to bed ,the times you are left wondering why you just cant be enough for him and so on, its just couldn't be me.

The point here is that it is being set as a standard, ride or die is toxic and if a woman dies while riding ,she will be replaced in no time.And if i as a person refuses to step in and ride till i am emotionally drained and broken in spirit i should not be looked at as a bad person. Suffer head nor be competition .

eni4real:
equity is not the same as equality!!
A man is the head of the house..

The moment he pays your bride price, he is your head automatically... He may be a good head or a bad leader.. But that's what he is!!!

Mother of feminism got this understanding before she died... I hope our feminist get this before it is too late!! !

no one is disputing whether a man is the head or not ,but when a man turns out to be a bad head ,it should never be a woman's responsibility to fix him and it should never be a standard for women who refuse to step in and become a fixer. If a so called head cannot fix himself and get his acts together ,how does he intend to lead his home?

If you understand what equity means then you will not encourage any woman to put up with a man who treats her like trash except you are being biased.

Beverlyjean:
U have said it all.... The devil is using women and changing their ideology that was first created by God to destroy God's creation

leave the devil out of this. I am sure God has been watching women being told not to go to school ,not to vote ,not to work cos they were women
in those days and he didn't do anything about it, i am sure God saw widows being inherited by their late husbands brothers and never did anything about it. God even watched twins thrown into forests and left to starve until a woman stepped in.

If not for the demand these women made ,you should not even have access to a phone to have an opinion according to misogynistic society.

mamaafrik:
The baby when at foetus stage next time should be subjected to Genetic engineering to alter the anomaly.

i guess they didnt know it could be passed to an offspring. I too like many others just found out blindness is hereditary.

Wendybrown:
You know this can be likened to Tyler Perry's Acrimony. These were major reasons coupled with the wife's ( I've forgotten her name) her temperamental issues that drove her mad, I don't know if you've seen d movie. It was like despite all d storms she weathered with him,now d big question is, Couldn't she have walked away? Well basically I'll say different strokes fr different folks and like u rightly said it shouldn't be a yardstick fr other women to emulate,we'll should just do whatever works for us.
How's your day going sis.?

Exactly my point, but the picture snoop is trying to paint here is "she is a ride or die if she stays through your bullsh1t". So if i decide to see through a mans bullsh1t and not put up with it ,it makes me a bad person lol.

My day is going well dear .

franchasng:





Tell your sisters oh!!


Women can never be equal to men no matter what the world do about it!

Do men get pregnant NO!
Do men menstruate monthly NO!
Do men need a hair wig or makeup or artificial nail or eyebrow to look good NO!
Do men come with any hymen in their genital organ to measure when they first had sex NO!

All these and more ought to teach reasonable women that God didn't create man and woman to be equal at all!


A man of 70yrs can still get married easily and impregnate a woman easily. Can a woman of 70yrs find husband easily and get pregnant naturally without complications


The ladies who understand that men and women can never be equal usually live a happy life with men worshipping them and they having total control over men but ladies who try to rock shoulders with men by trying to be like men or do what men do end up miserable, hate-filled and forever unhappy women. You can't cheat nature!

the demands made by women is the same reason women can go to school today, its the same reason women can vote ,its the same reason women can work and earn for themselves and not be locked up in a house all their lives ,its the same reason a widow can take over her husband's property without having to be transfer to the next male in her husband's family ,a woman is the same reason twins are allowed to live today and not thrown into an evil forest and so on.

And you are right men dont get pregnant, do you know hormones during pregnancy makes woman loose control over their body and the pain experienced from pushing out a baby is the same as setting a human being on fire.lets not even talk about menstral cramp that women have to go through every cycle

Dont you think after all this struggle no woman should have to add an ill raised man to her plate of troubles?Its tough being a woman already why does she have to be made to babysit a grown man and teach him how to get his sh1t together?why does the burden have to be put on her shoulders to fix a grown man so she can be happy as if she didn't have her own struggles to deal with?

Wendybrown:
Thank you for this. Toxic people everywhere.

I went to the village one time and i was amazed at how strong this people are ,so i decided to follow them to the farm for two days on third day i broke down.

I gave the example up there to further buttress my point, these people like the villagers are used to it, their psyche has been conditioned to take it but you see a lady who comes from a loving environment where her dad was a good example of how a real man should be will like break down and be drained.

I am not talking down on women who decide to take whatever trashy behavior men throw at them ,i will say good for them do you ,but not every one is built for such and it should not be a standard for everyone. Its not a competition of who is more patient or who tolerates bullshit more as a woman.

Knowing how i am built i cant stand all she went through, its too much to bear, the sleepless nights, the times you feel so much pain in your heart that it resembles a person physically stabbing you, the times you wonder what he sees in this other women and you wonder why you just cant be enough for him, the times you are so desperate to make him love you and be the man you want that you are willing to do whatever it takes and so on.

Life doesn't have to be so complicated and draining like this and not every case turned out well, Gucci is just one case but you see the rest one million cases ended with women loosing themselves or even their lives in the process.

12inchess:
We should be taking advice with people with successful marriages and not those with broken down ones. Let someone with 20 years of marriage experience give us advice then we may listen. Experience is the best teacher

The ones who have successful walked out of abusive and draining relationships are actually the ones with the most rational views on issues,they have seen it all and are likely to predict an end from the beginning of a relationship from their own mistakes they made.
No one tells a tale of war better than a person who was there on the battle field.

We must realize that there are very badly raised men out there,men who have killed their wives ,men who have impregnated their daughters.

I used to have a neighbor that will beat his wife drag her out nak3d ,and women in the street will have to give her wrapper to cover her, . I used always wondered why a woman will allow herself be put through all that? More importantly her children were watching this and i am sure it will impact on them negatively. Such a woman does not need 20 years marriage experience to be able to tell women to have self respect ,value themselves and have self worth and never allow a man treat them like trash.

You see this people here who are glorifying this toxicity they call loyalty are probably like that woman's children, they saw it happen in their house hold and think it should be a standard for relationships. But life doesn't have to be complicated if two adults fix themselves before coming together.

Ginaz:
Yes dear , I totally agree.

i edited my post please read it.

Ginaz:
I know all these. I only gave her the Bible verses cos she said I should tell her how men are not women’s equal.

OK ,just making sure this is a balanced argument ,cos you know when i was growing up ,i never knew the scriptures i put up there existed, all the pastor kept hammering on was "wives submit,i say submit, submit oooo". Even the pastors wife suffering from stockholms syndrome will also come and tell us submit to these men ,i say submit o, So i thought oh well the bible probably didn't leave instructions for the men, but alas it did but the there was a grand conspiracy to ignore that part.

I was talking to an older married woman the other day, she said "na who nor talk e own come out you nor go know, marriage na patience ,all men na the same". It hit me that these women have been made to believe you have to manage men and excuse their behavior, so i asked her who made it a standard to excuse a man's bad behavior because "na man". Why does a woman have to be seen as impatient because she refused to put up with a badly raised adult man.why does a woman who chooses to value her sanity and choose not to allow a man treat her like trash be said not to be loyal? I must commend Gucci's wife but you see not everyone will come out of such situations sane and sound ,she wont tell you how many times she went to bed in tears over the public humiliation and cheating ,she wont tell you the support system she surrounded herself with just to keep her sanity.Whitney Houston is a perfect example ,but bobby got himself checked into rehab got clean is married tody but where is Whitney he introduced to that life?

You see a good woman builds her home but a good man should give you a foundation to build on.

Ginaz:
Since you wanna be so petty and argue for the sake of it . I will leave you to these bible verse if you like accept it or not. Your cup of tea. This bible verse clearly states that a man and woman are not equal since the man is the head. That doesn’t mean we are lesser beings by the way, we are powerful in our own rights than always playing the victim card when things doesn’t go our way.

Ephesians 5:23
Because a husband is head of his wife just as the Christ is the head of the congregation.

Colossians 3:18
You wives , be in subjection to your husbands, as it is becoming in the lord.

Titus 2:5
“To be sound in mind , chaste , working at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be spoken abusively .


*dont bother quoting back. I won’t answer you. You don’t wanna learn but argue I don’t have energy for that*

galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Greek ,there is neither bond or free,there is neither male nor female,for ye are all one in Christ.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefilled, but whoremongers(woman) and adulterers(man) God will judge.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands ,love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

Ephesians 5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.He that loveth his wife loveth himself

1st peter 3:7
Likewise yes husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto his wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being hairs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.

Eccelaiates 9:9
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou loves all the days of life of thy vanity which he hath given thee under the sun,all the days of thy vanity ,for that is thy portion this life Andi thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Now this last one is the one i want to particularly talk about

1st Timothy 3:5
For if a man does not know not how to rule his own house ,how shall he take care of the church.

A man with no sense of responsiblity , a man with no direction , how will a woman be given the responsibility to mould him?