₦airaland Forum

Xo u r broodin ova a boob u accidentally saw? is dt ur first tym of seeing a boob? What if na d pussy u saw nko?

5. The Tease:
Most of us, at one time or another, have known a tease, the type of person who teases only to pull away before she
seals the deal. Though this isn’t necessarily sabotaging in moderation, overindulgence leads to feelings of frustration. Like actual teasing, it’s fun at first, but then it gets old real fast. Too much teasing builds a wall between two partners, a foundation they can’t surmount
because of a disconnect. He feels
unsatisfied, inadequate, and she
feels lonely — both partners feel as if they can’t express themselves openly and honestly.
6. The Accountant: “The Accountant” focuses on the equality of a relationship — the
complete and TOTAL equality. A woman in this role may keep track of who pays for what and when (some may even track it to the dollar amount or take into
consideration each other’s respective salaries). The problem
here is that relationships aren’t
business; they’re pleasure. If they’re not seen as enjoyable, intimacy will fall by the wayside and love just becomes collateral damage.
7. The Princess:
When a woman plays the role of “The Princess,” she cares less about love than she does about being adored and put on a
pedestal. To put it simply, “The Princess” wants to marry a man
who views her as a trophy wife. Women who adopt this role
aren’t only robbing their significant other of happiness(as their relationship is empty
and for show), but also robbing themselves, taking away a chance at real love and connection.
In the end, every woman has played one of these roles (and men play their own roles, as well). On occasion, falling into these roles probably won’t affect
your relationship much at all. However, playing them repeatedly destroys
relationships until there’s nothing left to ruin.
Source:[url=source]www.loadedgistday.com/advice/7-types-of-women-all-men-run-away-from-every-single-time/[/url]
cc:lalasticlala

In an ideal relationship, we’d only allow our partners to see the best version of us at all time. But in REAL relationships, we often allow them to see, both, the best and worst we have to offer. This is understandable. Living with someone, sharing money and toilet seats, seeing them day in and day out — it gets a bit stressful. It’s simply too hard to put forth our 100 percent best, 100 percent of the time. Still, letting your guard down in front of men you date is one thing, but adopting an unconscious self-sabotaging role is quite another. What many women don’t realize is it’s very easy to accidentally sabotage your relationship — you don’t need to hack into your partner’s email or boil his pet rabbit to raise a red flag. Rather, simply acting like one of the
following will more than do the trick:
1. The Ball Buster: The typical “Ball Buster” seeks control of the relationship by
putting her man in his place … repeatedly. She views herself as a “problem-solver.” Though she has noble intentions (sometimes), constantly telling her man his way is the wrong way isn’t so much noble as it is infuriatingly annoying. By trying to control him, she undermines his thoughts, wishes, and, perhaps most importantly … his sense of competence. All of this robs him of something each man holds near and dear: his masculinity.
2. The Mother: “The Mother” does exactly what it sounds like — she mothers her partner. She dotes on him, she fusses and worries, she believes he can do no wrong, perhaps she even picks out a sailor suit and knee socks for him to wear on the first day at his new job. She also preoccupies herself
with the emotional barometer of the relationship. This might sound healthy, but it’s actually not. The “Mother” puts all the relationship (all the joys, all the sorrows, all the ups and downs) — on her back. She puts pressure on herself and herself alone; it’s her duty to make the relationship work. She’s constantly wondering how he’s feeling, where she stands, and whether he is okay and what she can do to fix it. The problem with this role is two-fold. First, a girlfriend or wife who acts like a man’s mother will lead him to rebel. After all, that’s what children do. Second, it’s unfair for a woman to baby a grown man! She might not mind it initially, but it’ll only lead to resentment down the line.
3. The Love Vixen: “The Love Vixen” is a charmer,
forever able to draw men into her waiting arms. She does this by defining herself with her s.xuality. In other words, she controls her mate with s.x. The
reason this sabotages a relationship is because she’s essentially manipulating and
blackmailing her partner — if he wants s.x, he must do what “The Love Vixen” wants. And, it’s safe to say: Any relationship based on blackmail probably won’t remain successful for long.
4. The Damsel in Distress: The concept of “The Damsel in Distress” is simple: Boy meets girl, boy rescues girl, boy, and girl lives happily ever after. It may sound romantic, easy and productive, but it only works for
a little while. In the long run, a damsel can’t always be in distress (unless she stars in several Lifetime Movies) and the man can’t always act as the hero. It’s too exhausting — and unrealistic — on both fronts. In the end the man ends up resenting her for her incompetence.

When you have a little spare time to think, review these interesting and thought provoking
questions! If you are so busy to read it now
because it is too long, kindly save on your browser and take your precious time to read it over later.


1. If we learn from our mistakes,
why are we always so afraid to
make a mistake?
2. What is the difference
between being alive and truly
living?
3. Why do religions that support
love cause so many wars?
4. Have you been the kind of
friend you want as a friend?
5. Does love equal sex?
6. If happiness was the national
currency, what kind of work
would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you
believe in, or are you settling for
what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span
was 40 years, how would you
live your life differently?
9. Are you more worried about
doing things right, or doing the
right things?
10. If you knew that everyone
you know was going to die
tomorrow, who would you visit
today?
11. If you could offer a newborn
child only one piece of advice,
what would it be?
12. What one thing have you not
done that you really want to do?
What’s holding you back?
13. Would you rather be a
worried genius or a joyful
simpleton?
14. Has your greatest fear ever
come true?
15. Would you rather have less
work to do, or more work you
actually enjoy doing?
16. When was the last time you
noticed the sound of your own
breathing?
17. Decisions are being made
right now. The question is: Are
you making them for yourself, or
are you letting others make them
for you?
18. If you had all the money in
the world but still had to have
some kind of job, what would
you choose to do?
19. When you’re 90 years old,
what will matter most to you?
20. What do you regret most so
far in life?
21. If you were at heaven’s gates,
and God asked you “Why should
I let you in?”, what would you
say?
22. What small thing could you
do to make someone’s day
better?
23. What impact do you want to
leave on the world?
24. When was the last time you
tried something new?
25. What life lesson did you learn
the hard way?
26. What do you wish you spent
more time doing five years ago?
27. What is the difference
between living and existing?
28. If not now, then when?
29. Have you done anything lately
worth remembering?
30. If you had to teach
something, what would you
teach?
31. What would you regret not
fully doing, being or having in
your life?
32. Is stealing to feed a starving
child wrong?
33. What lifts your spirits when
life gets you down?
34. Have you ever regretted
something you did not say or
do?
35. Why do we think of others
the most when they’re gone?
36. Is it more important to love
or be loved?
37. If a doctor gave you five
years to live, what would you try
to accomplish?
38. Can there be happiness
without sadness?
39. What’s the one thing you’d
like others to remember about
you at the end of your life?
40. Is there such a thing as
perfect?
41. What does it mean to be
human?
42. Are you happy with yourself?
43. Can you think of a time when
impossible became possible?
44. How do you spend the
majority of your free time?
45. How have you helped
someone else recently?
46. What did you learn recently
that changed the way you live?
47. What is the nicest thing
someone has ever done for you?
48. What will you never do?
49. In your lifetime, what have
you done that hurt someone
else?
50. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

On this day of National Prayer, Fasting &reconciliation , many in Zambia woke up to a strange but beautiful sight. The sun with a ring around it, like a rainbow. For this is the day that the Lord
has made.

Welcome to class. At the end of today’s class, we would have
succeeded in making you a proper Lagosian in EIGHT easy steps. Pay attention to every
detail and start implementing the
lesson once you are done reading. Class begins now!

You want to be a Lagosian? It is very easy. Here is how…

1)YOU MUST LOVE OWAMBE:Proper Lagosians love Owambe; that is partying in queen’s
language. For you to become one of us, you must love to party
every other Saturday. Partying in Lagos comes with special dress code. We call it Aso Ebi. For you to
enjoy all the freebies that come with Owambe, you must wear the recommended Aso ebi, otherwise, you will watch food and drinks exchange hands over your head.

2)YOU MUST BE LOUD ENOUGH: No man receives Lagos baptism and remains the same. Lie! Lie! (That’s what we scream in Lagos when we doubt something). By the time you are through with the madness on Lagos roads, the garages, bus stops and markets
(whether roadside or major ones); you would have lost your
cool. So get ready to become loud; it is one of the prerequisites to becoming a Lagosian.

3)YOU MUST BE GOOD AT TELLING STORIES ABOUT TRAFFIC: Every lie, sorry, excuse you will
have to give in Lagos must be built around traffic. That way, you are easily forgiven or at least excused for turning up late. Remember to learn plenty other stories you can tell about traffic in Lagos. Any other reasons for
running late to meeting and work are not tenable; they must
be built around traffic. Get creative.

4)YOU MUST RESPECT/REGARD
NOBODY EXCEPT YOUR EMPLOYER AND PASTOR/IMAM:
Lagosians are no respecter of persons, well, except for their
employers and Pastors/Imams. Or haven’t you heard “after all no be you dey feed me” before? Yes, that’s the message we try to pass across to you; after all, if you don’t contribute to the well-
being of my stomach and soul, why should I respect you? Lagosians for you!

5)YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE EKO O NIBAJE: Say after me, Eko O nibaje,
again?! Learn how to pronounce that phrase like a typical
Lagosian would. You can enlist the help of your neighbour in
learning that phrase. However, make sure your neighbour is
Yoruba and preferably the Ibadan stock. They can twist their tongue to bring out the beauty in that phrase.
6) YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO MIND YOUR BUSINESS: In Lagos, it is not strange not to know the name of your
neighbour or what he does for a living. It is called Minding your
Business. The State government tried to break this age long
tradition by introducing Know your Neighbour Project. How far the project has gone is a matter of conjecture. To be a proper Lagosian, you may need to join other Lagosians in the business of Minding your Business.

7)YOU MUST BE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH EATING AT MAMA PUT: When you see people eating at every corner of the streets in Lagos, don’t call it an eyesore. It is called having fun. You have to learn how to eat in those places. Otherwise you are not qualified to be called a proper Lagosian.

GET READY TO FIGHT OR AT LEAST SPEAK GRAMMAR IN TRAFFIC: A typical Lagosian fights or at
least exchanges hot words in traffic once in a while. It is a
common sight. Get ready, speaking grammar or fighting is a trait you will acquire nilly-willy.
Source:[url=source]lagosconvo.com/naija-gist/how-to-be-a-proper-lagosian/[/url]

cc:mods, do the needful pls.

I was trying to make a call yesterday when I received a Notification from MTN that reads....."your account is too low and you are having #87 remaining, if you need more airtime kindly DIAL *322*214*AMOUNT # ", which I hastily dialled without wasting time,1st I dialled *322*214*1000# and I got credited of #1000 airtime and I was happy that MTN IS IN TROUBLE. I never knew that I was going
for my doom, So l continued dialling until I got credited of #40,000, I was in jubilation and I wanted to do more when I received MESSAGES that SHOCKED me from MTN....It said... "You have successfully
Purchased your AIRTIME through your GTB (BANK) ACCOUNT", shortly after the msgs
came in, I started seeing the most annoying and terrifying Part of it,
which was text msgs from my GTB (BANK) that the sum of #40,000 has been debited from my ACCOUNT!!! Yepaa what have I done? Ever Since My body system has not been the same. Now I agree that true true AWOOF THEY PURGE BELLE, I Dey purge now since morning oooo.... Ema gbami ke!!!! pls wetin I wan use 40k airtime
do?? And I need money now.

cosby02:
Why are you an overtaker? Taught i will be the first to comment.

easy o.

1. If a man is crazy about you, pray he
doesn't get well, if hes getting well, know
that another woman is giving him some
tablets.

2. First love may not die, but true love can
bury it.

3. If you still believe "LOVE IS BLIND" then i
know for sure MARRIAGE WILL OPEN IT FOR YOU.

4. A woman's beautiful face attracts a flirt; A woman's
beautiful heart attracts a lover; A
woman's beautiful character attracts a
man.

5. Don't fall in love because you are lonely, fall in love because you are ready.

6. A blessed garri is better than a cursed
fried rice. A Godly Poor Man is far better
than an Angry Rich Man in Marriage.

7. I will rather have you stay in your father's house that you are sure of, than
pack into a man's house you are not sure of.

8. Most men base their capacity of
manhood on their abilities to fertilize
ovaries and produce children. Any man can
impregnates a woman. The real
deal is HOW MANY MEN CAN BE THE FATHER TO THEIR CHILDREN, not promoters of ABORTION?

9. HOLY Wives don't just speak in tongues,
they MANAGE their homes, make SUPER
meals, raise GODLY kids, and bring out the KING in their man.

10. When you tend to your garden diligently you will be the one to
reap the fruit of the vine thereof.
shalom

Born in 1972 october 17. Famous Detroit rapper Bruce Marshall Mathers popularly known as Eminem is celebrating his birthday today. The rap god is 43 years old today but still young and fresh. Stans, letz show some love to him by wishing him happy birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMINEM!!!
#ProudToBeaStan
#ShadyTillIdie.

Sunexy:
Op, we av read dis ur story b4 na...how many tyms did dis stuff happen??

pls read d beginning again.

daniel9202:
You see one thing with guys..
when you were bleeping her she worth that one abi?
now you want to obstruct her blessings, do you know if it might change her life.
it's naht fair man.
nobody is a saint, you better stand out!!!

put urself in d xame shoe. Itz nt gonna be a pleasant thing 2 see dt d lady u've straff many times is gonna b ur bro's fiancee. She'll be filthy in his eyes nd d memory will still b dia.

This friend need ur advice.
In 2012, I was transferred to ibadan. I have lots of girlfriends in lagos and don't want to date any new girl in
ibadan, so me and my friend that was transferred to ibadan
together became regulars at a brothel. Me and my friend had
just 2 customers we
patronize. 6 months later (early 2013) I was transferred back
to Lagos. After I left, I do invite one of the
girls to Lagos because she is too good in bed till I lost her contact
when my phone got lost (December 2013).
We all travelled home due to sallah celebration. I was surprised when I saw my younger brother come with the prostitute in ibadan and introduced her to me as his fiancee. I just stood there not
knowing what to do because I was expecting the girl to feel somehow and but she didn't even show
any fear. Throughout the day She was everywhere cooking and joking with everybody around
there. I thought she was pretending not to know me but I didn't
confront her, so I asked for some of her pix from my brother
and sent it to that my friend if he knows the girl and he was quick
to tell me that's the girl I do sex in ibadan. But when I told him of
the relationship between my brother
and the girl, he told me to tell our parents and my brother so they can cancel the
relationship that the girl isn't worth it. Now am confused, I
don't know if the girl is pretending or she
doesn't recognize me anymore because of her numerous customers. I don't know if I should tell my brother or just keep quiet. Advice me pls.

StepTwo:
OP, arrange this thing now which kind nonsense bdis?

tnx, adjusted.

If the recent advice by the coalition of Northern youth groups is anything to go by, President Muhammadu Buhari
might remove former Rivers state governor, Rotimi Amaechi, from his ministerial nominees’ list sent to the National Assembly.

The group has ordered President
Buhari to remove the former Rivers state governor as ministerial nominee with immediate effect. Ex Governor, Rotimi Amaechi The Nation reports that the leader of the coalition, Comrade
Abdullahi Gambo, earlier today, Monday, October 12, said that the youths do not have anything against Amaechi but they would not want him to mar the clean slate that the Buhari administration has started with. Amaechi is one of the 21 people on President
Muhammadu Buhari ministerial nominees list , sent to the Senate for screening.

We’ll Ensure Amaechi Becomes Minister – Group Tells Senate
Although Comrade Gambo acknowledge the good works of
the former Rivers state governor to the All Progressives Congress (APC) and also the roles he took
in making it possible for the Buhari to become the president,
the Comrade noted that nominating Amaechi as a minister is totally a ‘no’ because he has cases of corruptions trailing him. He further said that no case of corruption should be
covered up no matter who was involved.
Recall that Senator George Sekibo from Rivers State had suggested earlier on that Amaechi’s nomination should be halted, pending the time his probe by
the current governor of Rivers state has been concluded. Comrade Gambo said they are in support with what Senator
Sekibo had suggested earlier.

“For 72 years, President Muhammadu Buhari has built his integrity and incorruptible character and remained above the board. It will be unwise to sacrifice his integrity on the altar
of political compensation. This is
why we are calling him to resist all pressure and replace Hon. Rotimi Amaechi without further delay.
“The thrust of President Muhammadu Buhari’s
administration is its anti-corruption crusade. Nigerians’ confidence in that crusade will diminish if Mr President continues to appoint people with corruption questions to answer into his cabinet. We will follow up this call with a protest to the
Presidency and National Assembly by tomorrow, October
13, 2015. This is about a new Nigeria, not about Buhari or Amaechi. We simply do not want anything that will stop this
administration from succeeding, ” the coalition said.
Source: [url=source]https://www.naij.com/599998-thelist-buhari-may-remove-amaechi-ministerial-nominees.html?utm_campaign=traqli&utm_source=traqli&utm_medium=traqli&source=traqli[/url]

Guys tell me if this is not true...
1)Flush mid pee and race the toilet.
2)Instead of using twist ties to close bread, just spin the open end of the bag and tuck it underneath.
3)When i'm in the shower, i like to cup the water to my chest and watch it splash to the floor.
4)Entering beast mode running upstairs while alone.
5)Fantasised about their female friends. Yes...all of them.
6)Thought about freezing time and then doing naughty things to people.
7)Everyman has woken up with morning wood and had to do the leaning tower of piza to hit the toilet.
8 )Checked online to see if their length is adequate.
9)All men at one point in their lives have given the nod to another man for one reason or another. They have also given it to a woman, only to receive a look of confusion.
10)Blow nose into hands in shower.
11)Waft the bed to cover unsheathe fart.
12)While peeing, trying to cover a whole surface of water with pee bubbles.
13)While i write a comment on a girl's facebook, i re-read it a million times after sending it to make sure it doesn't sound dumb...and then it does.
14)Imagine how you would save your workplace, school or whatever from terrorists.
15)Look at that poop when they finished. I mean you just have to enjoy the masterpiece you just created.
16)Watch romantic comedies/movies alone...no one else can be present...no one else can know.
17)Take up my underwear and then kick it up into my hand and feel like a goddamn ninja master.
18)Deleted their search history.
19)Aim your pee at the edge of the toilet water or higher to avoid people know you are pissing.
20)Tried to see how far you can get whilst taking a pee and keeping it in the bowl.

I tell u bros, learn phone engineering, its very lucrative nd doesn't take much time 2 learn if u r smart. After learning, u can start anywhere as long as u r tested nd trusted. Wit d money u earn, rent a shop nd alxo u can try selling UK used fones too, u'll make profit.

I hate desperate girls, she be karishika ni? Op, i dnt blame u 4 collecting d gift cos it may av caught u unawares. Bt if u dnt knw hw 2 return d gift, find out her acct number nd deposit money in2 it nd let her knw u r d depositor. After dt, dnt give her face cos u're nt indebted 2 her anymore.

IamLEGEND1:
she said...

what?

[quote author=davchuks post=38693406]THE PURE TRUTH....I saw masturbation importantly as a sin to God ,Hindered my social life, Any time I always had an awkward moment or was depressed and also very excited the only solution was to do the act which I found out that I was been turned to a really rotten and loyal slave ,never really bothered having any female relationship even if I was attracted toward them and them attracted towards me,It messed up my life bad bad,when in secondary school due to I was d shy type and a new student I masturbated close to 7 times in school then got home and made it a total of 15 although 17 has been my highest so a few years passed started having low sperm count then dats wen it hit me and got me more depressed and made me do the act the more. I wasn't myself any where I went to I always tried to mastrubate even if I wasn't in d mood. I Masturbated in d kitchen name does places that you think one can't mastrubate and my old self would prove u wrong,in church(toilet)but I neva desrtoyed d environment, just my old self and the famous issue paper no lubricant,mastrubated in the car,garage,every where possible,even in the mortuary =D lol,am exaggerating a bit but just giving you an insight,was trying to stop but couldn't, I couldn't tell my parents or guardians who didn't even know what mastrubating meant,mastrubating didn't just give me satisfaction and self peace fr example wen d urge comes you do d act in d next 5mins or 10mins ur done instead of doing something productive after ur tinking about it again when 30 mins haven't even passed it just keeps u in bondage and in a loop.there was a day I was supposed to go for a meeting to collect a huge amount of cash gift.because of a 5 mins act I turned down the meeting cause I had already set the stupid pre-intimacy,pornography,e.t.c. Later I regretted cause I missed a lot. But braced up cause it was my fault...even when working am thinking about it,eating,sleeping,reading so it was just a very big burden and load that I couldn't bear for the rest of my maybe 62 yrs Of life,mastrubation turned to my breakfast ,appetizier,mid lunch,lunch,dinner, night cap and mid night night cap and so on,infact I had a time table that I wrote in my mind ,it just turned me to a dog typically and maybe a little bit like a donkey..I can't remember all d effect right now but maybe some knows thiers.In Simple words. MAStUrBATION IS AN AFFLICTION/CURSE/SIN/SATANS TRAP... ................. ..............I just thank God now I stopped mastrubating/wanking/self service 3 months ago n still counting .a testimony tho...although i still see myself having the urge but resisting quite good(only God) and many at times see myself sometimes in an act of mastrubating in my dream or about to mastrubate in my dream...there was a funny time 2 month and 3weeks ago I wished for me to always mastrubate in my dream(when I had already stopped) but I also at the same time didn't want to mastrubate physically cause of the bad effects of masturbation ,that was after 1weeks of breaking up totally it wasn't easy at allllll..THIS IS WHAT I HAD TO DO to STOP or WIN AT LeAST:I stopped pornography,deleted all of em about 147 I really wanted to cry because I was afraid of losing about 500mb of downloaded data and afraid if it was a waste of time incase I went back to it.but I braced up because of •SOMETHiNG•(would explain later) ,after deleting I made sure I stopped visiting those stupid and foolish porn sites,etc,luck was on my side my browsing phone damaged you can also minimise the way u browse and surf,also I stopped reading sexual explicit content,stopped viewing jezebel's un clad/naked/half naked,I blocked every one on facebook sharing sex this sex that naked this naked[/quote author]
ur case wasn't ordinary. Hw could u masturbate 7x a day! Na food? Couldn't bliv u alxo av 147 porn on ur fone. I only self-service when i av d urge...nd dts once in a while tho, neva get myself addicted 2 it.

what was the last lie ur ex Told u?
Mine was: if u leave me i'll die..Buh till now she's not dead; infact she's already dating sum1 else.
Lol now tell me urs?

munalight:
I cant marry a guy who makes casket n an armed robber.

will he open up 2 u dt he's an arm robber?

HighIQ:
so you want our daughters to start marrying a poor , wretched, lazy, unemployed fellow

Even if she's nt interested, dia r polite ways to say 'NO'.

[b]Some Corpers around my area passed out like two weeks back
so I was at one of my
Favourite Pool side, chilling out that day. I started conversing with one of the
Corpers. The first thing she asked me was, "where do you
work?" see Jamb question.
.
.
Firstly, I wasn't even thinking of wooing this bae cos she got a
bracelet on her left leg and that's a huge turn-off for me. I told her I was an applicant, still job-hunting. Next thing this girl started advising me to focus on my job-hunting and stop toasting girls. That she's not in for jobless guys like me for now. I just taya.
.
.
Okay I told her to give me her number to at least get more counselling, "for where?" The girl messed me up 'jakajaka'
This morning, I saw her in front of our company gate, a popular Oil and Gas firm. She was holding a CV and she was so wowed. She was like "what are you doing here? " I work here" "Jesus, for how long now?", "Seven years. "But...."
.
.
I didn't allow her continue the questions as a driver came in front of me and I entered the Toyota Hilux. She ran up to me and I think I heard: "Please give me your number" while i drove away.[/b]
Written By Ashmanpolo.

Drfash:
1. none, yolk cant be white 2 johnny 3.meat 4, mt Everest noni 5.no dirt cn stay in a hole 6. incorrectly noni 7. he lives in the Capricorn 8. hear ursef, dats absurd british Columbia? 9 2nd 10 one haystack oya clap 4 me

after googling abi? Well u miss 8 sha.