₦airaland Forum

Sleek Reek:
Having a girlfriend and marrying someone are two different things.Every marriage needs a bit of spark to flourish at the beginning.My advice is have a talk with him and really find out more about him,without being anywhere emotionally involved, know about the other lady in his life.If he is meant for you,it's his decision to maturely and nicely end that relationship and not with any push from you and if he does come after you,it mustn't be to come and waste your time being your boyfriend,it should be marriage immediately(strike the iron when it is hot).Love is magical at times but please use your head before you land in stark realities.

Sleek Reek, thank you for the advice, will pass it on. I think that's the wisest thing to do right now.
Update: They have been talking on a regular basis (like every few days), and he was honest about him loving his girlfriend even though they have some issues right now; my friend kept acting like a friend, telling him to be careful and not hurt his gf, and putting herself in the gf's shoes. She says she wants him to be happy, she'd rather have them break up because of personal issues internal to the relationship, not because she encouraged it in any way because if they end up together, the guy might go back to the other girl if their "emotional business" was not completely finished. He actually called her to tell her him and his gf broke up (I guess he was kinda depressed and needed to talk). Last I heard, the guy and his gf's decided to make the break up temporary and to take a break instead (still being together) for a month so they can each have some space. The other day my friend and the guy talked the whole night. Not sure what that all means. Told her to take is easy, and never allude to any feelings she might have for him until the guy officially and clearly breaks up with his girlfriend, and wants to move on completely.

Madukaele:
who ever it is u are writing about be it your friend or u, love is magical u can do little or nothing to stop it flowing, heartbreakes happen and stuffs happen also. If u love him go for him cos he himself willnt b happy with his girl friend even if u avoid him, accept him back if he wants to be back and pray for the girlfriend to find a better guy. marriage is not a game dats why love was created to be with us during d difficult time of marriage, if he doesnt love his girlfriend but he manages her cos u are not their. i say fight for what u love no subsitute for love.

Madukaele, I take it you are a romantic

Madukaele:
who ever it is u are writing about be it your friend or u, love is magical u can do little or nothing to stop it flowing, heartbreakes happen and stuffs happen also. If u love him go for him cos he himself willnt b happy with his girl friend even if u avoid him, accept him back if he wants to be back and pray for the girlfriend to find a better guy. marriage is not a game dats why love was created to be with us during d difficult time of marriage, if he doesnt love his girlfriend  but he manages her cos u are not their. i say fight for what u love no subsitute for love.

[b]Madukaele [/b]thank you for your reply,
I partially agree with you,  If I switch on romantic mode, I totally agree with you actually. I think if they were to come back together, and get married, they would have a wonderful story to tell their kids. You know what, my mom had a friend to whom something like that happened. The friend was dating this guy in her teenage years then they separated. They went they separate ways and moved to different countries. They married and had kids. Then one day, they randomly met each other, and it was love at first sight all over again. They got divorced from their respective spouses, got back together with all of their kids. They just got married a few years ago, and they have 2 kids together: altogether they have 8 kids I believe, and there are very happy family. Both parents love each other very much so they take good care of the other spouse's children. I just feel bad for the ppl they first married.
But when I switch on reality mode, I'm more skeptical,  But I agree with you about marriage being so important that it's not about marrying out of loyalty but how of deep love,
I guess I should advise her to fight very carefully and wisely,  and to drop the battle when necessary,  thanks!

Emperoh:
Poster

I am afraid, you friend doesn't have much choice or chances or not rekindling that old feeling!!
its very strong especially on the guys part. . . .If they eventually meet, i dare think something romantic will happen.
Friends who knew them will even urge them on. . . .so i fear the present girls ex.

Now, here is what i advise. . . .a times like this, one is bound to jettison the idea of 'if it were me' and do what your heart tells u.
If the guy is willing to take the plunge and u know he is sincere and honest about it, pls go ahead.
Cos no matter how much she tries to suppress that feelings, its so strong u can push it aside.
Chances of ex coming together are very high for most people, especially for people who didn't 'officially' break up or those who parted ways amicably. . . .while for some its a no go area

Regardless of what anyone might think, the guy has shown enormous respect for memories she's had with the girl in question
and same can be said of his perception of her. . . so i think she is in good hands.

But i warn, situation should be clear before any emotions or feeling are nurtured further than they are now.
If the guy is game and keen to renew old romance. . . . pls let her go ahead.

My one pence though!!

Emperoh, your reply was insightful and actually helpful. I printed it for her to read and obviously now she's gonna start thinking even more about him and a possible relationship. What you said about how easily old feelings resurface seems to be true coz I was surprised at how fast she started talking about the guy when she has only been single for 2 months. But she's not the kind of girl that goes from guys to guys, on the contrary.
Where my problem is, is that the guy is dating somebody else, so even if the feelings are mutual on his part and the part of my friend, I still think that anything she does to encourage that, which could be merely talking with him, is wrong because it drives the guy further from his gf. And even though I really want her to be happy (and I witnessed how happy she was with him 5 years ago), I still think attempting to be with somebody else's man is wrong even if it's your ex.
However, the guy seems genuine, and im thinking he wouldnt have gone through all that careful keeping of memories of their relationship if deep down he had not loved her all this time, I just wouldnt like to be in the other girl's shoes
Thanks for ur reply Emperoh

naija_swag:
I can't make out anything from this gibberish.Can you tell this story in a more subtle manner.

Naija_swag, ok let me try again:

1. My friend dates this guy for a little less than a year. They have a great relationship, with a lot of complicity. It's the first serious relationship for both of them -- the kind where they do things together and for each other, learn to make concessions and all that good stuff. She is 18 and the guy is in his early twenties.

2. At some point, the guy has to go to a neighboring country to visit some family members for a few weeks; he cheats on his gf (he kisses some girl -  a friend of a family member or something). He comes back and confesses to his gf that he has kissed another girl and that he cant stand the thought of hurting her by hiding that mistake from her. She forgives him, it's just a kiss afterall, and they continue their relationship as it was before

3. A few months later, she has to travel to a different country for her studies. They don't break up, they decide to continue the relationship and see where that's going to lead. Before she leaves, her bf suggests that they exchange their diaries, but she doesnt want to read the details of his cheating on her which he also wrote down in his diary so she tells him that he should keep both diaries.

4. She goes abroad for her studies. At first things are great but they end up not writing each other as regularly and communication just wears off. She gets scared that the guy might just be cheating. Plus, she has no  idea when she is going to see him again and does not want to lock him into a relationship if he wants to be free so she breaks up the relationship. The guy is ok with that. They decide to stay friends.

5. Few months later, she meets a guy, they start dating. They stay together for a little bit over 4 years. The guy is jealous type and so to avoid any issues, she deletes all of her male contacts (including ex boyfriend) except family members. Before deleting them, they randomly happen to be online at the same time, so her ex starts up and conversation, but she tells him that she is now dating somebody else, and that he would be better for them not to communicate anymore. The guy agrees (he doesnt really have a choice), but once in a while tries to speak to her when he sees her connected (she ignores and blocks him so she doesnt get in trouble with her current boy friend).

6. 5 years later: she is now single again (too many issues with her jealous, controlling boyfriend who by the way almost isolated her from her family as well). One day that she is online, the ex-boyfriend tries to speak to her again, so she unblocks him and they start talking. They haven't spoken in over 4 years.
At first about they catch up about their lives then the guy tells her about the diaries: he has typed up her diary on his laptop and has been reading it for all these years; he has kept videos of her as well as this particular book that she gave him 5 years ago when they were dating. The guy actually even told her exactly what she had told him while giving him the book. The guy was on webcam, so he asked her if she remembered that particular book, she said yes, and got up, went to get the book and came back. She was puzzled by that, particularly because the guy has moved between several countries several times, and she didnt think he would have kept that book "readily available", and not in a buried in a box somewhere or lost in a back closet.
When she asked him to get rid of all these stuff since they have both moved on a long time ago, he told her that he couldnt -- She asked him why and he just answered that he will tell her one day, hopefully soon, when he will be able to speak to her face to face.

7. Problem is, the guy has a girlfriend whom he has been dating for the past 4 years who is actually the particular girl that he had kissed when he was dating my friend. It is a long distance relationship but nevertheless, 4 years is a long time.

So my friend is confused about what this all means. She does not want to get into a relationship right away (still recovering from her breakup with the over-possessive boyfriend) but even though she doesnt want to admit it I know she's been thinking a lot lately about that guy. She is trying not to talk to him because she is afraid her feelings for him might come back and get stronger. Plus, the guy has a gf and he wouldnt have stayed for 4 years with her if he didnt love her even if it's long distance.

Finally, the guy is coming where my friend lives in a few months (actually moving there) and has suggested and they meet and catch up (her and other friends of them).

Alright, hope it's clearer, 

Thoughts? Comments?

sophy09:
, I
Confusion

Yeah definitly,  life love can be so complicated at times

abrahym:
Hard one

Yup, I told her what I would do if it was me, not what I think she should do, so that tomorrow if things dont work out, she won't blame me for the wrong/poor advice. Their story is complicated, I sense that the guy still likes/loves her, but not sure whether he is just cherishing old memories. 5 years is a long time, and ppl change. The guy was in his early twenties then and she was 18 at the time, so I'm sure they have both grown up and evolved in different ways that might not make them compatible if they chose to be together at some point in the future.

emorse:
Mrbrownjay, where art thou? You're seriously needed over here.

LOL,   ;Dyeah more thoughts needed!

sesman:
one word - psycho 

You know what, thats what I thought at first. Because seriously what african man does that That's actually kind of freaky and I had told her to not even talk to the guy at first, and that's what I would have done, coz you just never know, but maybe, that's with a big M, the guy actually loves her,

bennygee:
@ poster,why hide under the cloak of deception.the person your talkin abt is yourself and u really want your former boyfriend back cos u just got dumped.you need n/landers to support your schemin azz in gettin back your bobo.all d best in your plans.deceptive schemer

Nahhh,  don't worry, not me. If it was, then it would have been easier and less confusing to ppl to tell the story that way but thx anyway 

bk/babe97:
Didnt read the whole Ish, too long and too confusing prolly have to blaze a blunt to be able to concentrate. Anyhoo, from the lil I seen it seems to me like someone is insane!!! yeah, psychos,  . . . . . .

Hmm, yeah, sorry,  im not that great of a writer, not sure how best I could have explained the story to make it less confusing. But I agree, the post is long and confusing lol.

Enockia:
Some old folk said old fire wood no de quench let her go back if she still has feelin 4 him but i'll advice that she should'nt be too fast about it

Which is what I feel she wants to do,  but I told her to be careful coz what if the guy really loves his gf of 4 years (which would be normal)? Maybe the guy is just a bit confused and will come back to his senses and she will get hurt. Plus the guy might see her as "easy" coz the truth of the matter is, she would be "stealing" or attempting to steal somebody else's boyfriend which honestly is wrong.

Thanks all for responding,  keep your thoughts coming, 

I think it depends on the exact circumstances of the break up and also the kind of feelings that they had for each other as well.

Hey all,

I have been trying to help a friend of mine understand a confusing situation she found herself into. I have no counseling skills so I defer to you lol.
Anyhow, this girl just broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years for various issues (most stemming from him) and has been single for about 2 months now. Just recently, a guy that she dated 5 years ago, contacted her and they chatted for long hours on 2 separate occasions. He was her first serious relationship and so was she for the guy (a very well behaved, ambitious, respectable young man). It turns out, the guy has a girlfriend whom he has been dating for 4 years as well. Was is a little strange is that the guy kept several items which my friend had given to him when they were dating; to be specific an inspirational book, and he reminded her exactly what she had told him 5 yrs ago while giving him the book. Mind you, the guy in question has moved between several countries back and forth several times, but when they were chattin, got up for 15 sec, and came back with the book which obviously wasn't buried somewhere in a box after so many years. She was quite surprised by this, since the guy is staying only temporarily in the country in which he is right now (and therefore even if he still had the book, it wouldnt make any sense to carry it around from country to country).
Also, when they were dating, the girl had to leave for a different country for her studies and the guy suggested that they exchange their diaries (he writes mainly thoughts and reflections about life -- and she writes down the daily girly stuff that girls journal about), which they did, but for some reason, he kept both journals, typed hers up on his computer, and up until now reads it frequently. He has also kept a video of hers; all of these locked up in a folder in his computer, and when she asked him to delete all this stuff as they have both moved on, he responded that they were too precious to him to do so, and that maybe one day, when they meet face to face he would tell her why he cannot get rid of all this stuff.

She is a bit confused about why the guy is keeping all this stuff, and does not quite know if that means that the guy still has feelings for her or not. They actually had a great relationship, with a lot of complicity, and a great friendship, but that was 5 years ago and they hadnt spoken to each other since then. She says that she's trying not to talk with him anymore coz she does not want to have her feelings for him get rekindled, esp since he has a girlfriend; she actually feels bad that she spoke with him that long, coz she says if she was in the girlfriend's shoes, she would hate to know that her boyfriend is chattin with his ex-girlfriend. What do you think this could mean? How should she read into it? Should she just forget about all of this? What would you do? What would you advice her?

PS: the guy is actually coming in the country where my friend lives in a few months, and suggested that all of their friends from the period they were dating who are in that country as well (including her) meet up to catch up. Also the guy and his gf are in a long distance relationship (the girl that he is currently dating is actually a girl he had kissed while he was still dating my friend years ago -- but he had confessed to her at the time coz according to him, he couldnt stand not telling her it)

Sorry Salvie, just realized you're are HE, my bad lol. Hope it still makes sense either way

Salvie:
Thank you so much Lallafati. This' quite helpful for me

Sure,  if you're actually wondering about if he is right or not, just be careful. Don't compromise on values that you know are important to you and to how you live/would ideally like to live your life. There are some things you just can't/shouldnt compromise on,  I learned the hard way. It will just come and bite you in the back. Be flexible, but don't bend too much. For me for example, I use to strongly believe looks dont matter, it is the guys heart that does and i will love, care for, respect, and be there for him no matter what. Well, I truly did for 4 years, but towards the end, I did it without really wanting to do it, merely out of wanting to stay true to my promises and words, I felt burnt from trying too much, giving too much, standing too much. It tires and wears you out, and you got nothing left emotionally. Now I know better. Things I will not compromise on: has to be christian (like truly, in his heart and actions, not just by name), has to be ambitious and driven (I am, so there is no reason why he shouldn't be, that's a biggy, you don't want to spend your time trying to get your bf off the couch), he has to be generous, someone who likes to do good to others without necessarily expecting something in return, he has to be the kind of person who takes commitments and responsibilities seriously, not just brushing them off when there are not convenient anymore. Everything else, I can deal with it and pray about it. Don't worry there is someone out there just for the kind of person that you are.

I guess for the same reason a man who sleeps around is called a player and woman who does so is called a slut, That's just how it is, thats why women have to be more careful than men in all the little and big choices they make in their daily lives.

stechi:
u have really said my mind. I got furious with her over the fone when she told me about the gift and all she could tell me was ", what if she had lied to me that she bought it herself, why am I getting mad over a  gift from just a friend?, ".

Previous gifts given to her by this same guy never attracted any hostile reaction because I just intended to watch what was really going on. Personally, I have had cause to allow her scare off female folks that tend to wanna impose themselves on me despite their knowledge about my "fiancee".

Hm, just be careful. Maybe she thinks it's no big deal and there is nothing more to it. Then try to have a conversation and tell her exactly your mind. Yes it is a big deal, and no it's not right not just the act of accepting the phone but as a woman who "belongs" to another man and who has dignity that's not good. A woman who respects herself even single shouldn't even accept a gift (certainly not a phone) from a "friend" unless he is family or very good friend to whom she's given gifts too (in a relationship that is truthful just friendship on both sides with no hidden agenda). Gifts are never free.  Try to see if there isn't anything you caused, like pay back for something you did, or something along these lines. All my support! If it's destined to be, then it will be. Just pray and be wise.

Lamii:
^
read the first post carefully before deciding to post. ok?

happy easter

that was cold, lol

justdream:
Well for those of you who think you'll have fun mates when you go to hell, sorry to disappoint you cos am really on the right road to heavenly paradise where evil prevails not,  actually i knew sinfull and lustful mind will wanna know the secrets to exploiting every available woman or man but come to think of it: is it not time you give your life to christ? Av u ladies(siena,ayetymama and ebonyeyes) and the rest of you ever thot of wer you will spend eternity?
i used to do girls but i suddenly think its not worth it. I mite fall into lies or watever but hey, dont hide under the blanket of ''sin is sin'' cos the Holy book forbids you from justifying your evil ways and attrocities.
Its better you take a closer look at your life and decide today JESUS is your lord and saviour,
Why not rush to the nearest Christ Embassy church around you to denounce satan today?
its a decision worth taking trust me, SHALOM.

Word!
You'll sure be tempted again but you know what? God gives you the strength to resist temptation if and only if you focus on him. And you don't have to be, look or act weird, or strange, or holy, just stay who you are, yearn for a true intimate relationship with Christ, and he will change you. What is true that you said is that once you focus on Him, everything else fades away living room to admire his Love and Sacrifice for us.
Also, I don't necessarily think that God needs us not to sin. He could care less, he doesnt need us. But He loves us, and He knows it is for the good of our own soul, that we should try as much as we can, with his grace, to get away from words, situations, actions that are sinful. Sexual sin is different in the sense that not only does it affects our physical being, but it also affects our entire being in a way than no other sin does, because intimacy. is not only physical and was never meant to be only physical. There is a connection (and the wrong connection if not within marriage) at a deeper level which transcends time and space. The good news is that God's grace never fails, it is constantly renewed and all that needed to be done to wipe our slate clean has been accomplished 2000 years ago at the cross.
Brother, may His grace always be by your side. When you just accept Christ it's like a honeymoon period, and then reality hits you and you realize how hard christian life can be, but cling onto him and you'll never ever regret to have surrendered your life to Him.
There is this song which I absolutely love, the lyrics say:

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out"

I just think those lyrics synthesize so well life as a new/young christian

PS: Sorry for the wordy post!

Lamii:
reply only if you are sensible and respectable and under 25. You are a rare breed and I just wanted to see if you exist in reasonable quantity.

Happy Easter

Lol, been wandering that too. I would add christian, honest, mature, with ambitions but certainly over 25.
Sorry Lamii, I'm not really contributing,  hopefully you find what's right for ya!

She is definitely materialistic. If you are in a committed relationship, you really don't accept gifts from a person of the opposite gender unless the person is family or a good friend which your boyfriend/fiance knows, trusts and approves of.  Now you might not want to be taken as rude the first time, but if I ever accepted something from a guy friend which my boyfriend/fiance knows nothing about, I would return it asap in a respectful manner explaining why "I didn't want to sound rude, but although it is appreciated I can't accept this". Do you know the guy? Does she talk to you about him? Does he know her family? How would she feel if you started accepting several gifts including a phone from a woman Why is she even still accepting gifts from a man who is no family to her and whom you don't know? I really don't get girls these days.  So all of this started coz she got a new job? I would be you I would be careful, very careful about by next move. I suggest you keep observing how she behaves. If you go ahead and marry her, what would happen if she become successful professionally or financially, or even more successful than you? If you can't trust her in little things, I doubt you would be able to in bigger things.

Pweety4me:
Ever fallen in-love?

Never fallen in love??

Well, i guess you just have to be careful who you allow your heart to fall for,  love is important but it is definitely not enough sometimes. I just came out of a 4 year long relationship in which i truly gave my all. But differences such as religion, culture and other things like handling money (his closet was 3 times my own and shop till you drop was more than a hobby of his), a lack of ambition, disagreements on handling social life and other things that revealed themselves with time made us incompatible. I really believed love could patch up the differences and I just had to make concessions. Well, i ended up distancing myself from my family and friends, alone in world in which he was king. Made too many concessions in the name of love,  Conclusion: religion and culture are fundamental in a relationship esp if marriage and kids are in the plans. But also other things such as values that one cherishes. Also in a healthy committed relationship you should be able to be your own person, blossoming and developing into a better individual,  not trying to fit a mold to please the other person, unless the change and the reshaping comes from within you.

Definitely portuguese,

tomba:
She said maybe it's toilet disease.

Come on man, be serious? what's wrong with you? She has no morals, no respect for herself, and no dignity. Act like a real man and get rid of this thing you call a woman  
You deserve better than this but until you realize that, and you understand what it means to have a gf, partner, that is real woman, that is who knows her place, respects herself, carries herself with dignity, you might end up with just a replica of these kind of persons. In a relationship you do have to be flexible and forgiving, but not like that. That's being weak my friend. You can make concessions but NEVER settle for a promiscuous woman. Coming from a woman.

Djdamian:
4 times,4 gud times i shud have lost my virginity with my last 4 ex girlfrnds but i just culdn't do it nd anytime i don't,they break up with me calling me a small boi!The most painful was ma last GF,she came 2 ma house nd we started talking nd teasing each other then she said she wanted to drink "natural yoghurt" .At first,i tot it was this N100 plastic yoghurt she wanted so i got up 2 buy it next door,but she grabed me said she want to suck ma manliness.As she was tryin removin ma belt,i just push her away nd she fell on the floor,she got up took her bag nd called mi a loser and a freeeak then left.That was d last time i saw nd heard frm her, So what do u guys tink,am i psychologically impotent or theres sometin wrong wit me(i'm definately not a gay)

May I please ask, how old are these girls and how old are you? And what kind of girls are these anyways? Sorry, no disrespect but I really get disgusted at girls who ask so explicitely for sex   makes me wanna puke, I know some girls are like this but maybe i underestimate just to kind feel better about my fellow sisters, First of, i know u are a guy and maybe that's a guy thing, but you really should not rush or give in to pressure just because you "need to lose" your virginity. Second, if i were in your shoes, i would never even wanna have sex with a girl that tells me she wants to drink "natural yogurt". Is she your girlfriend? Or were you guys just friends? or you guys just met and she wants sex? I dont get it. I really believe you should do it with somebody who is not going to make fun of or make you feel uncomfortable because of your inexperience, somebody who at least cares for you. Third, with these kind of pseudo-hookers, do you know how many times she has said that to a man? Do you know how many men she's slept with, and had MouthAction with? Goshhhh   Sad state of affairs for young african women,

Ebonyeyes:
Buhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

LOL LOL He ended up giving into the pressure and let the gf's friend's bro stay in his house didnt he?

Single and happy! Searching but not desperate

Van vicker, but he is ghanaian, well dunno,

Well, it's disappointing, and scary esp for us women but i have developed a growing desire for marriage, just need to find the right one, thats the scary part,

bawomolo,

Pure tough physical discipline. With clothes I guess you dont feel the beating as much, it kind of cushions it. Feeling the knuckle of the belt on your bare back is not something you can ever describe,

Wow, I see we africans have a lot of emotional baggage stemming from all this beating and "disciplining" Sometimes I do think that western culture kind of blows out of proportion a little physical punishment -- "will lead to a lifetime of emotional scarring". But I do agree that beating, especially out of your own anger and not in proportion to the mistake the child has made is totally unjustifiable, It took me a long time to forgive my parents and try to build a trusting relationship, still working on it.
I got beating quite a bit, but certainly not worse than what some ppl have described here **horrifying** I got the belt many many times on my back, panties pulled down, the kicking, the slapping, the ear twisting, but I believe the worse is the words, the name calling, not to feel loved as a child, to feel unwanted at times. Today as an adult I can understand certain things better, and I know my parents loved me, but I guess african parents don't know (or at least a lot of them) or dont realize that kids need to feel love and to feel like they can trust their home environment and that if the world collapsed around, the 1st place they would think of running to, would be home.
There is also one very smart/creepy technique that my dad would use. He would fill a bucket with water and a lot of soap (you know the powder soap/detergent for laundry) and put a couple of shower towels in there making it very heavy. He would then take a stool and turn in over, put the bucket on the stool, tell me to lift my arms high palms of my hands upside and it would lay the upside down stool with the heavy bucket on it; then he would dare me to lower my my arms even a centimeter. If i did he would beat me, or slap me, depending on the mood, or he would add another towel to the bucket making it even heavier,
But like somebody said, it's all in the past, some things we can even laugh about lol,