₦airaland Forum

moreeni: BRAVO!!!!!!

Thanks Moreeni, your comment fills me with glee. I feel like dancing salsa.

loadux: I just love this book this is definitely above average
op more ink to ur pen

Amen, I hope enough ink would be provided while I pen more suspense, if you know what I mean . And, I'll aim on achieving ten over ten.

Adinije: wow! What a twist in tale, bravo Larry

Thank you, Adinije. I STILL PLAN TO TURN THE KNIFE IN THE WOUND.

brokoto: Awesome awesome! OP thank you for this wonderful mini novel. God bless!!!

Thanks bro, for reading it. I hope I was able to convince and not confuse you.

Iaz93: Laaaarrrrryyyyyy!!! This is absolutely sensational. I would love to read more of your works.

Thanks, buddy. You definitely would.

uj_sizzle: Larry!!!! You are a badass writer!
I'm glad i found this post.
Abeg chop knuckle

LOL! Yap, chop knuckle.

moreeni: Very good job!your imagination is unbelievable but you have a little bit of the happy-writer-syndrome where a writer goes on forever.At first I thought the rite thing to do was to let us:the dears,lose with our imagination by ending the story after Daniel's confession.Infact,it is unethical for Lot not to at least remand Daniel until a court finds him not guilty.The medical examiner should only submit his autopsy report and not be present during interrogation of suspects except if he had to be called in court for his testimony.

The engagement chapter is too long but atleast u tied a story from the beginin in it.Now another is rearing its head!I hope u are not going to turn it into the series 24. Otherwise,very very good novel.

Thanks Moreeni. My writing style, characterization, dialogues, plotting...all are not perfect, I agree. I'm just still a caterpillar, like I've penned in the Author's Note. It is on the shoulders of you and other more sublime literary giants of Nairaland that I hope to stand. The comments of you readers have been very helpful. When an audience decides to read the work of a new writer, he is forsaking, at least for the moment, the works of some great popular writers to read a totally different story. The least the creator of the story can do is entertain his audience. Impressing my readers is my major goal. I just hope I'm succeeding. The Brand Of Cain is only of twenty-five chapters. Here is the last part of the final chapter. And the truth be known to all.

Thank you everybody! I love you all.

Splendblex: hmmm...d saga ain't tru yet! well,still waitin...Larry more power to ya elbow

Thank you, Splen.
And, here comes Chapter Twenty-Five (The Last Chapter). I hope it's worth your precious time, all.
But I apologize though; that this final chapter will be partitioned.

loadux: I still believe that gateman has some thing up his sleeve
any nice write up op I just stubbled on these yesterday and have not been able to put it down

Thank you, Loadux. I like your suspicious intuition.

avicky: Another twist in the turn of events.
Larry, unfold the mysteries asap.
And also 'lol' @ d 'love making scenes' u were hiding frm d 'devout celibates'.

I try to be mild in the intimate part. I don't want to offend my readers, you know?

Iaz93: Interesting...
Larry is this the end?

The saga is almost over.

uj_sizzle: I think this one's over. He did say the story was a subtitle ryt? So there's probably a different story to come.

The story hasn't ended.

uj_sizzle: Abby must have an extraordinary heart to call a woman she just met mother, and Mr Famous must be such a kind man to understand his wife's carrying a long lost love's picture everywhere she goes/even crying for him in a public gathering.

Neat wrap for the story Larry .

You're absolutely right. I didn't see that, I shall rearrange those broken bones.
Thank you.

uj_sizzle: Then Mr. Famous isn't really Daniels dad? She got pregnant for someone n married another?
Drop the gist already or when should we expect it?

Nice conjecture. Let's wait and see.
The next chapter will come up later in the day. Stay braced...

vascey: I love Cain Martins

LOL! you're definitely not Richard.

Iaz93: ehn?? *confused*

Don't be confused, Iaz. She died when Abigail was still very young.
Sam is also dead. Abby is really an orphan.

uj_sizzle: Hian will the surprises ever end?
Here i was smiling at the happily ever after i was getting and Bam! You chipped in something else.
I love you Larry .

Ermm back to story....
So Abby's mum never really died or did something else happen?

What's her own gist? Come back and complete it pls.

Abby's mum is as dead as Aliyyah.

Iaz93: The story hasnt ended na....what of Richard and Abigail, won't they kiss?

Iaz, they've kissed before, remember?

brokoto: i was *just joking* but Daniel was a detective, no?

Yes, Bro. I know you were joking.
Daniel wasn't a detective; he was an ordinary police-officer assisting a detective in the investigation.
And, he didn't commit a crime...he was only at the wrong place. May GOD protect us all. LOL!

brokoto: i know. the last part is where detective lot is arrested for masterminding everything. *just joking*

LOL! That would really spoil the story. A detective isn't supposed to be the criminal.

zayhal: Kudos Larrysun, you're doing a wonderful job. Writing is not an easy thing.

A few comments on chapter twenty-one:
I think the narrations of Kish and Richard are too long and smooth without interjections. I suggest you chip in reactions from their listeners every now and then. For example, when Richard mentioned how much he loves Abigail, she shifted uneasily in her seat/she looked up at him surprisingly... You know something like that. Let your readers feel the reactions of the other people in the living room. It will make it more real.

Again, Richard's narration is too comfortable and smooth for reality. He was not narrating like someone under tension. His speech was too smooth; giving details of time, professing undying love for Abigail, giving comparisons here and there and so on. I think you should inject some level of apprehension/nervousness in his narration.

And again, I expected that Hakeem would have been long dismissed. What's he still doing there listeneing to all the details. In a real life situation, I doubt if his presence would still be needed at that particular time.

Hope I make some sense to you.

Let me quickly go to chapter 22. This story is captivating!

Thank you, Zayhal, thanks so much. You're very right. You see, I wrote this script over two years ago. I've not really taken time to revisit the plottings and characterizations. I was busy writing another one. However, I shall do that asap. Thanks again. I wish to see more of your comments and observations.

IZUKWU: What a twist .what a tale

The story hasn't ended.