₦airaland Forum

Lol,

Ok,here is mine. I have been TTC for almost a year now and i found out that i the problem has always been that i dont BD enough.
Well,thats because DH is a cronic womanizer. I don talk tire,cry tire and pray tire, Am just gonna chill and live my life. If it happens,fine, if not,fine,
Na my cross.Lol.

@Tpiah,
The combination is called UNITED NATIONS

My children can marry from island of Fiji if it makes them happy. I am way past the tribalistic crap we display in Nigeria and come back to claim,exposed and well travelled,

I'd rather be happily married to a cambodian normad than to be in bondage married to an 'ibo' brother,

Good one@woodcork.

Until we realise that we have gone wayyyyyyy past the tribal crap in Nigeria, we will always be our own worst enemies.

woodcook:
I am really disappointed at you people. I am sure all this tribal "poo" are coming from people that are ignorant of what is obtainable in the outside world. After all the money FGN invested in NYSC to clean up this tribal sentiment among our youths, it seems its all a waste. Nigerian men and women on NL I pity una!

Let me give you guys a real life story and I hope it will put some of you who take advise in line. My guy once told me that before he traveled to Canada for his Masters, that as long as you are not Yoruba he does not want to have anything to do with you. But when he got to Canada something happened. Upon his arrival, he lost is money and could not find his way to the school. He was stranded at the station where he was supposed to take a bus to his school. He said he looked like an alien and nobody really cared and it was really cold. He had to cuddle round his bags before he lose it. He was there until the whole place was almost deserter ed and he noticed these group of white touts at the other end stealing glances at him. He was pretty scared, cold and dam hungry that he didn't even know what to do or whom to call.

At about 1am a guy walked up to him and told him that he saw in here earlier in the day and now on his way back home he was still there, asked him if he was new in town and my guy said yes. My guy said at the point he was relieved because he has seen another black brother without minding where the guy was from. He told the guy how he could not find his money and as such couldn't get to his school. The stranger told him to come and pass the night at his place. My guy said when they got home the stranger ran him a hot bath, give him a nice meal. The next morning the guy asked him if he had a better winter jacket, which of course my friend didnt not have other than the one he was putting on. The stranger took him to a near by shop got him a solid winter jacket, gave him some money and put him on the next bus to his final destination. At that point my friend asked me to guess where the stranger was from, I couldn't figure it out and he said the guy is not only a Nigerian but also an Igbo man. My guy said that particular incident changed his world view since then, he will only ask you if you a Nigerian he does not care about your tribe.

My dear people of NL it is time we put this whole tribal "poo" behind us and move on. I am leaving in Europe now, upon my arrival I knew no one here. Since I came the people that have been taking care of me are Yoruba. One other thing I noticed out here is that once we black meet the first thing you ask are you a Nigerian? once the person says yes, he or she is your flesh and blood. Also there is no where in my International passport that says am Igbo or Yoruba or not Hausa. Though it only indicated that I was born in Kano and a Nigerian that's all. I wish we could treat one another that way at home.

I am fortunate that my dad was in Military and when we were still living in the barracks you will never perceive anything called "tribe". (Though it might be happening at the office but not among neighbours believe me)People are treated as one. I have lived with every single ethnic group you could mention in Nigeria. I never knew they were different until I joined the civilian world. Please let us grow up, Hause, Igbo, Yoruba , if you all noticed it was this tribal card that our ancestors played that brought us to this pathetic state we are now in naija. We should change things for our own children, we should not let what befell us befall them.


Go

Hmm!! Na wao! It really suprises me how much energy we exert condemning ourselves (Nigerians). I am ibo married to a half yoruba,half Liberian man and i live in Monrovia. Yes,Monrovia,Liberia.

You need to see how much respect we command here,not as ibo,yoruba,hausa,or edo, but as NIGERIANS. These same movies we condem are loved by foreigners and these Nollywood actors we love to hate are almost worshiped outside Nigeria. A few weeks back, people payed $50 (NOT VIP) just to see Chidi Mokeme in a club here.

Their girls would rather date or even marry a Nigerian rather than their fellow Liberia.That is not to say that they are bad people.

Personanlly, i think our problems will end the day we learn to appreciate each other,not because of tribe or ethnicity but as individuals,

@ Poster,

I am sure you have realizes that Nairaland is the last place to come for advice for such crucial matter. Most of the responses are from people under 25 years,way younger than you.  You dont need advice from children. It is only a child who will say that at 30 you a a granmma!!  Don't take their childishness serious.

You know exactly what to do my dear. Are you really engaged to this fellow? If not,then weigh your options very well. Do not expect him to change when you are married to him. In fact he will get worse with time.

Who says there is anything wrong in being a single mum? You still have time now to run for yor life,next time you might not escape.

Nairaland is full of children,so watch out for the kind of advice you get and don't take every comment serious,

@Hindus,YOU DON'T SAY!!!!

Shy-One:
Also - I have connected my business here in the U.S. with my fiancee's business in Lagos - we are now connected and will have websites up and running as well. He does similar area work - he is in graphics, training, leadership, audio/video presentation - I am word processsing, software training, teaching, leadership, edt/proof, agent representation, audio/video representation - and other areas that generate, work with these items.

My business pulls U.S. Clients to Him and His Pulls Nigerian Clients to me - circular - and so far it has been "off the charts" good.

I live in Monrovia,Liberia. I do exactly the same business as you. I recently added training to my services and because of the peculiar nature of my environment i am thinking of doing some NGO seminars as well ( HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy).

I am currently talking to some big NGOs for financial assistance. I am not doing this for the money actually,i think it's my calling because i have a passion for counselling younger people especially girls.
I wnat to know if you do the training yourself or you hire facilitators.@ Shy-one

@ Poster,
Your friend wants to leave his wife because she does not want to learn to drive? I sometimes wonder exactly where the brains of some men are located. Imagine if the wives decide to leave their husbands because of some stupid and insignificant reason which are abound in our men. I want to believe there is more to the story than you are telling us.

Marriage is not child's play. Your wife has her faults just as you have yours. It's about compromises and sacrifices. If you have to go falling in love with every female 'acquantant'.then you should't have gotten married in the first place.

I have always said it,more than half of the married men are no better than teenage undergraduates when it comes to self control.
Love ko,hate ni!!

@ Poster,
One of the consequences of what you are doing is that your concience will continue to hunt you until you coness to somebody. Coming to Nairaland will not solve your problems,it will only make you more confused cos you will get all sorts of advice from here.

All i can say is that you can never understand the pain of having an unfaithfull partner unless you are MARRIED. And the pain is much worse if your partner is cheating with someone you know.
Go to your mum and confess to her. She is the only person who can mediate for you,and protect you. She is your mother,she can never hurt you but show you the way forward.

You have to understand that you have ruined your sisters' marriages already even without them knowing. Nothing will ever remain the same in those families as long you have had sexual intercourse with your brothers in law (who in the sight o God are your brothers).

Like i said,go to your mum.

limar:
What else can I do in this race of TTC? Visits hospitals and laboratory as if its my place of work. Goes to Church like no man' business, sowing of seeds in church, infact, what do I do again. My family can't save any longer as we keep on , God where are you?

@ Limar
Cool down,girl.Like My Peace said you just have to take your mind off TTC for a while. Look for something that makes you happy.Take a vacation or something. For once,ignore your family and face your marriage. You will agree with me that TTC also have its strains on marriage.

As for me,i have completely taken my mind off TTC. I dont even know when my next period will come and sincerely,i don't care. I have started exercising and eating better. I applied for a better job and my mind is now focused on getting a new and more interesting job.


Lastly,have a personal relationship with God. Don't show desperation. Smile more often,God will surely give us all our heart desires.

Don't i just love Nairaland?
It is nice to see some familiar names here (ejadamen,gen buhari ,etc from the ttc thread).

Ok. Because i am faithfully ttc,i have been adviced to shed some weight.
I am presently 5"7inches tall, 75 kg. I recently tried to exercise but,meeeen,i no fit shout. My body ached the hell ou of me after two days.
So i decided to do a protein/fruit diet.

I intend to lose 10kg in 6weeks (by faith).
I am not a fan of dumbells because i fear it will make me have biceps. ,

@ Nwangap, don't give up hope. The Lord is oir strenght. Have you gone for a HSG test? That will determine if your tubes are blocked or not. I also plan to do mine next week (my mum said it cleans out the tubes).
Keep us posted ok. God bless.

@Labella12,thanks for youradvice. I have no intentions of using clomid. In fact i am praying fervently not to go thru any procedure. By God's special grace, i will take in naturally and give birth naturally.

@ Ada24, congrats. Good to know that you ad your baby are doing good. Thanks for the the assurance. Like i said, i will get a second test to know the position. Oce again,congrats. Inbox my NZU!!, lol

Hello ladies,
Thank God for this thread,if nothing i can come and vent.

In my last post i complained about heavy and painful period and that the last one was particularly very painful

I went for an ultra scan and it was discovered that i have a 3cm fibroid but the doctor did not disclose to me if it was hindering conception. He also did not tell me the position. I have decided to get a second opinion on it.
One very funny thing the doctor said was that "age was not on my side"(am just 30), can you beat that?

Anyways,my question is,how dangerous is a 3cm fibroid?

I discovered this thread about two days ago and i haven't been able to get my mind off all the posts i have read. I have been married for 8 months and have been TTC from my wedding night . I have never used any major BC pill except occassional postinor before i got married. I noticed that my period have gradually become heavy and much more painful. The last one was very bad,i was rolling on the floor in the middle of the night and my husband was terrified.

My fear now is,does my delay have anything to do with the heavy bleeding and painful menses? Please beautiful ladies,your stories have inspired me greatly,i need to know if anyone who has heavy and painful period and still conceived.

Am ibo and my Husband is Liberian.

These "abroad"based wives sef,they just make us home based look so archaic. We also do our laundries here with machines o.In fact these machines are so cheap that any entry level bank staff can afford one and pay in three instalments, lol.

@riyageh, God bless you for that response. Its only a wicked man who allows his wife to do all the house work without helping. Its all about understanding between the couple. My sister inlaw who has been married for 30 years told me,before i wedded that its how i start now that will determine how things will be in the home in future.

I have been reading replies to this post and i must confess that this one topic that i find very interesting. I am almost one year in marriage and run my own PR/Marketing company in lagos. I am still below 30 for those who might think i searched for a hubby for so long before settling down.

Now, i go to work very early and come back in good time to prepare dinner I have a house keeper who comes during the day only. She does everything,from cooking to cleaning to washing both my clothes and hubby's. But,over my dead body would i allow her to wash my husband's undies. I gladly clean my room and wash my husband's undies every weekend. And guess what,when ever i soak my own underwear in the bathroom longer than neccessary,my hubby washes them for me.

Every woman should take pride in helping to keep her man clean and same goes to the men. Unless you are a couple of pigs living together.