Flexherbal:
I have not taken out time to observe this. I have to do a research on it.

Please do the research..it will help you make the choice of a good woman

Jorussia:
OP i believe that you sincerely love your wife.If u can't tame your wife and take charge of your home, i am a afraid that you are not a real man.

Am kuku trying my best to take charge bro, you know you get decorum in the house for some time because you don't want wahala, so you ignore her when she annoys you, then after a long while, you have disagreement and the harsh insults start coming (how best can you now take charge)

Evina:


That's not a correct analysis. I know this because I'm quite sure the OP is not yet in the circle of the Danjumas.

She is blackmailing her husband emotionally.

Woman like that will use words without a thought to the consequences to manipulate the man into ALWAYS having their way.

OP needs to firm up.

Firming up is the word I guess...am not in the league of the Danjumas as I only earn a meagre sum of 350k per month..and I dey try my best regarding basic things for house o

Acidosis:


Gradually we're getting there..

On your last assertion (question), I'd say Yes & No.
A woman who doesn't know fatherhood, has no clue how to treat a man. Remember I said "KNOW".

For a lady who lost her father to illness, or old age at some point in her life, already got the experience of fatherhood, so the above doesn't apply.

However, the void left from being born & raised without a father figure is unimaginable. This can only happen when a woman sleeps around, and finds it difficult to identify the actual father of her baby, or a woman who took in for a riffraff, abandoned completely, and denounced. Ladies who also lost their fathers to death at a tender age, or lived with an aggressive boxer fall in this category.

However, for those who lost their fathers to illness at adolescent or adult-hood, the man of their dreams are always hard to come by, and hence, they hold on to their men firmly when they meet them, so as not to lose another "father figure". Their short father/daughter bond serve as a motivational factor to avoid failures in the future.

These kind of women, instead of allowing their marriages grow organically, they spend their life avoiding failures.

Since your wife's actions lean towards the opposite of the above, I presume she never really had a father figure. Is that right? If she did had the father-daughter bond, she ought to naturally appreciate you better.

You hit it on the head...Father passed on when she was 3 months old

I have had opportunity to meet with different kinds of ladies with different character and attitude either at work place, hangout, place of worship etc and have inferred premises from the kind of parental upbringing those kind of ladies have.
Now the question is- is it a general truth that ladies without fatherly upbringing (maybe father died or separated from mother while growing up) tend not to appreciate or respect manhood when they eventually have their men? Think deeply about this study and drop your honest comments.

Acidosis:

No one can make me abandon my family, so I had to look closely before I choose my partner to avoid clashes & surprises.

About the insult, I personally won't take that. As regards those encouraging you to pamper her to avoid insults, they're only trying to be romantically theoretical. Do not accept such advice. A man or a woman with good manners, raised either from a bad or a good home, would never use such heavy words on her partner.

I don't know what to tell you since I have never dated such. However, you know your woman more than anyone here, so I think you need to do what's best for you.

Some women are psychologically allergic to romance and all the fairy novel tales on this thread. For a woman who feels total disgust and disrespect for her man, no amount of swimming, tennis, cinema, or shopping can permanently cure her. She needs to be threatened, or returned to her father's house to learn Basic Home Training.

And Yes, that's what I will do if I were in your shoes. In your own case, threats won't work as she's ready to move on without you, so adopt a more decisive measure.

At what age did she settle down with you? Are you younger? What's the age gap?

Am older...She was 26 while I was 31 when we got married...I guess it is true that buying all the goods things of life will not permanently cure a rude woman. Is it also a general truth that most girls that do not have/ lack fatherly upbringing tend not to appreciate or respect manhood?

Acidosis:
You married a strange woman, a woman you barely know.

If your arguments centre on YOUR relationship with your relatives, I'm sorry, there is really nothing you can do. Some women generally detest excessive relations with their brother/sister/parent - in-laws. All they want is ME & MY HUSBAND. Women with such traits are easily identified in the society. The best way to live peacefully with such women is to abandon your relatives.

However, if your arguments centre on other issues, you can state for clarity.

But you know it's dangerous to abandon one's family cos you have a new family. How would you feel if your wife says to you that you are daft and stupid, that when she has her money, she would live her life(inside of you, you know you are really really trying for your new family).

PresVA:
It shouldn't honestly. .. wish you the best...

Thanks much much Ma'm

MARKone:
OP it is not just your wife that is like that, believe me. I've come to the realisation that a majority of women are like your wife, and I have equally come to the realisation that the man should be either very rich, or the woman is largely dependent on the man financially, this automatically makes the woman loyal and very less abusive.

Another group is the no nonsense Men, those who rarely talk, but use their fist to get loyalty. Ps do not get me wrong I do not advocate for DV(domestic violence). I have seen men like you, who their wives turned to wild creatures, due to their constant nagging. You think you can endure for a long time, even the most gentle soul of the male specie, has a breaking point. Come to think of it are you not being verbally abused, violated and traumatised.

The last group are those that wait, pray hoping that the women will change, not many are that patient, but Prayer still works bro.

So choose your hustle wisely, Good luck.

Appreciate much

Evina:
No! Not all wives do this and you did not marry a bad woman, just a temperamental, rude woman who also has some insecurity/trust issues. (She obviously hasn't gotten over that betryal of trust you inflicted on her)

Great sex will not change anything!

She needs to consciously work on her character!
If you are a Christian, look for scriptures on anger, check the book of proverbs, print them out in colorful pieces of paper and stick them to your bedroom wall or areas she can easily access.

When she is in her sober moment, make her understand the kind of home you envisage building with her and how her attitude kills that vision. Make her understand how her actions affects you as a man and what it may eventually lead to.

If she genuinely cares, she'll make an effort to change.
It will take time, but you'll see the changes.

Thank you Evina

egopersonified:
She is still angry at you over those 'year long issues'.

And is that wise and healthy?

sheunfemix:
Its definitely ur woman. There is no need of calling names during arguments. And I am sure she isn't just showing u this side. she must have done it before while u were dating. She needs counselling. Plus one think I have come to realise is that marriage kind of changes u

You nailed it....done it while dating but i was foolishly blinded

xclntmoda:
No matter how hot a woman may be,she shldnt nag or direspect her man,some women know wetin dey push man comot. She hasn't learnt how to cntrl her anger. Discuss it wt her n if she dznt change i tnk u shld ignore her wn its tru pingn or just leave her alone to her own wn its face to face,go look 4 wr to relax.

i respect your comment

PresVA:
Firstly, all wives don't do that....

Concerning the first issue, why didn't you tell her earlier that you were to pick your brother?

Generally, I think she's not really happy with something/you(she seems frustrated), you should have a heart to heart talk with her.... all d best

Thank you..But even if i forgot to tell her i was picking my bro, should that translate to saying all sorts. Really appreciate

RiloKiley:
@Lebrotin

Op u haven't reached the end of your rope yet.
The day you do, it will be epic

You mean

Are wives generally rude and saucy to husbands when arguments ensue? Whenever there is disagremment btw both of us, she barks at me like am her boy. we were travelling in our car one day and i suggested to pick up my brother so we could see a house agent since he would be getting married soon, my wife started questioning why i would want to carry my brother along, it was really serious that she started shouting at me in the car, this drew the passerby and commuters attention to us as we were driving, at some point, she threatened to drop off and get to the back of the car with our baby even while i was on motion, during this she was still insulting me ( do i turn against my brother or i tell him i could not make it to carry him was just running thru my mind and begging for answers at that point). Lately i was in the office and started getting pings from her accusing me of seeing a particular girl since last year which i have no idea of. i confronted her when i got home and the usual shouting and rude pronouncements began, to the extent that i have to tell her to bring down her voice cos neighbors could be hearing us. She could not mention who i was cheating with, she does not want to apologies for wrong accusation instead she brot up year long issues. i always want to be calm but she would definitely say things that would make you feel less of a man. Is is a general thing that wives call their husbands names during arguments or am just unlucky.

I share in your grief but your father is still your father.
By the way, if you continue to think you would not care for your father, that bible verse wey say regard your father fit even no allow you get better job self

This man get mind I swear. All these billions only him e no dey fear, thief ole carry am go.

From your situation now- you have dated for 2 years and no sex,kisses and you rarely hug abi...invariably she's a virgin...listen to this- if she goes for her masters and comes back bleeped while you are still waiting, my guy suicide go hungry you o...she wants to eat her cake and have it...she's not sincere and wants to play a fast one on you. All I can say is that she's not ready for marriage. Pray about it and God will direct your steps.

#Anygirlreadyforatablefor2

Everyday for the thief, one day for the owner.


#NigeriaWillbeGreatAgain
#EverythingOnPrima

What an emotional epistle..all said and done but it's very difficult to say you should also stay in your shell cos he's doing so at the moment.this will only tear your new family apart. togetherness and intimacy is what you need now my dear...u need prayers in this situation and do not talk to people about your situation because they will spite you behind your back. Pray,pray and pray but be vigilant my dear. The sad truth is that some marriages are not meant to be. Pray and challenge God to your cause. You shall laff in the end.

#MrlebrotinIsBallin

Let's look at this issue carefully, Wizkid is an A' list artiste- he's being accused of owing house rent and to the height of being evicted from his rented apartment. Even if this is true, he would not be happy the trumpet is being blown by his sworn enemy. Linda is an established blogger and most times generate traffic by soiling some celebrities by publicising unverified reports (unfair journalism). Peeps have turned this issue to tribal issues judging by how they take sides. I am very sure wizkid would have been fuming since Linda began posting his baby mama drama day in day out. Linda drew the first blood and should live with whatever outcome it's generating.

#MrLebrotinIsBallin

azzima:
As usual, Biafrans AUTOMATICALLY have drawn ethnic lines on this issue involving 2 wealthy ppl who don't even know anyone of us.

Abi o

cruzita:
this boy is really a child !!! PURE ATTENTION SEEKER

Linda drew the first blood ma...to first do no dey pain.

#MrLebrotinIsBallin

God save and protect us from all these vampires. End of the road for them.

#MrLebrotinIsBallin

SexyStrawberry:
LOL, I'm not a white girl but i am super blunt, if i want sex, I'll tell u straight up, no time to waste abeg

I always like when a lady is this blunt chai...how about a table for two?