₦airaland Forum

missyadorable:
And what does a man lose when marriage scatters?

Who takes all the blame and shame for a failed marriage no matter the circumstances and cause?

He can tell her,the worst she will do is cry and sulk for a while.Maybe go and tell her Pastor,who will preach forgiveness and "for better for worse" and she will have no choice than to forgive him and go back to "work on her marriage" as that will be the advice of the whole society.Her family esp,her mother will even scold her for not keeping the matter secret wt the "afterall,he married u(removed ur shame)" consolation.

Trust me! This man has nothing to lose except his wife is not a "typical Nigerian"woman

She could 4giv him bt i doubt if she wld ever 4get the fact that her husband was part of d men who raped her.

sonofananimal:
you really don't know what INSULT is, do you?

why bring false story this mourning?

6 guys r APE rarely occur because the rapist do also have a sense of awareness to certain disease and if peradventure it do occur! either that event kill her or one of them must surely kill her.


what's the meaning this! what are you insinuating here!

Its morning dear not mourning and like i said b4 dis is a question that popped up in the program, its not my story so take a chill pill or u can move ur annoyance out of this thread.

sonofananimal:
he didn't tell her and he told you or the damn relationship program

too much of Yoruba movies isn't good for your health.


rubbish

What's with the whole insult this morning, u must b avn a pretty bad day or either u woke up on d wrong side of ur bed. Too much of anger is not gud for ur health so take it easy.

sirjakez:
well dats OK, why re u still awake?

Watchn tv, wld b goin to bed soon tho.

sirjakez:
hehehe... jeez... don't u have a soft heart

It depends on d situation

sirjakez:
thanks... but one thing have learnt abt women is DAT dey have soft heart, she would definitely get mad at him but later on, she would forgive him... dats if she truly loves him

I pray.

Decker:
First of all, the bible never instructed to forgive and forget. That phrase is no where in the scripture. So you are wrong on that premise.

The woman is already scarred forever. Telling her the truth or not can't change that. The aftermath of the rape encounter is still dealing a big blow on her and that's why she is always remembering the experience and laying curses on her attackers. She is still suffering from the trauma, so whether or not the husband tells her, she will still be experiencing such trauma.

The mind of every human being works differently, both in the way it collects information and the way it processes such information. The way the woman would handle the truth if it's dished out to her, may not be the way you think she would handle it, or the way you would handle it if your were in her shoes. You can never tell how she would react, but like I said earlier, she deserves to know the truth. And yes, the husband should be prepared for the worst, but the worst may not be as bad as you think.

u r right i wld admit even if its sad to know u rendered me speechless

sirjakez:
I think he should tell her and beg for forgiveness... but b4 telling her, he should pray desperately abt it..... and leriebloom am following u on Instagram and can u follow back @sirjakez

He would need all the prayers he can get.
Okay.

Decker:
Whether or not the wife would forgive him, which there is a probability she would, isn't really what's primary. Some secrets are meant to be kept, some just aren't. The wife has a right to know the truth. It's both wickedness and injustice on the part of the man if he doesn't tell the wife the truth.

Besides, the man is hurt. He is filled with regret and guilt. A large chunk of that regret and guilt will be lifted off his shoulders if he tells the wife the truth.

True, the guilt would be lifted off his shoulders, but what about the woman who is 4eva scarred, she wont just luk him in the eyes and be like "Hey, it is okay bby,i forgive u", No. I believe she thinks about the incident alot. Rape comes with emotional trauma, imagining myself in that lady's shoes, i wld 4eva luk at d man differently, i would become more withdrawn, its true the bible says forgive and forget. I might probably forgive him, but to forget that i was raped by 6 men,my husband being one of d rapist would be a very difficult thing to forget. It wld destroy d marriage, d husband shld prepare himself for d worst.

gozzlin:

My bad, I thought you were.

i see

Decker:
I think the wise thing to do is for the man to tell his wife the truth. The more he keeps hiding the truth, the more he will be haunted by it. The pain and regret his feeling will only get worse. So it's better he just finds a way to tell her what happened and how he feels about the whole thing.

The wife is indirectly and unknowingly rain curses on her own self, so hiding the truth isn't actually favoring anyone.

It wont be an easy thing to forgive.

gozzlin:
Are you the man who was involved in the raping?

pls try reading thro again. Btw. i m not a man.

I went to a relationship program today and we were asked to write questions that we wanted to be answered and when the questions started popping up , an intresting topic caught my attention which was about a woman who was raped by 6 men and who unkowingly married one of the men who raped her, the funny thing here is that this guy was aware that he was involved in the rape before he married her, yet he didnt tell her. He claims he raped her when he was still in the world and gave his life to christ before he married her. The problem here is that anytime his wife remembers the incident she reigns curses on the rapists and he feels guilty about it, he doesn't know how to tell her about his ugly past and if it would scatter the marriage.

That cant be his mom

spanishkid:
Meet my daughter everyone. Please guys show him love cos today is his birthday. I'm throwing a party for this little woman today. You're all invited.

Cc: tonyebarcanista, martineverest, edcure, enahi, mulattoclaro, lurlah2014, kevinberry, pentiumpro,

The girl is pretty cute. We all dream to have a baby as cute as this, i can understand why you are placing a claim on her, keep dreaming coz dreams sometimes come true.

tommychow:
Listen, I'm not here to castigate you. That's just how you came off; that you found him cheap for being incapable of paying for his own transport fare and still had the ballz to ask you out. And I implied you can't validate his ability to provide for you as your boyfriend because of that single incident. Reason I said "humble yourself". I was just following your lead. If I misinterpreted, my bad.

Ohkay.

tommychow:
Leriebloom, I don't get. If he paid for you, he would be allowed to ask you out? Or did he look too low-class to ask you out? Elaborate.

Maybe you should look at it differently though. What if he's a loaded guy but he had no cash on him, then he decided to ask you out to show appreciation for paying for him? He might be that rich guy you've been dreaming of. Humble yourself!

Lolz, i still would av passed on that giving d situation, loaded or not. "Humble myself"?? , excuse me, what gave u d idea that i wasn't being humble just because i didnt give the guy my contact. And for ur information i am not looking for an already made man so u can keep ur assumptions, thank you.

Lsofdk:
are the people on nairaland not the same people i see everyday… dy will be dragging change #10 with conductors and come here and be talking trash

You dnt knw me a bit so u can do me a favor and keep ur opinions to urself.

All this plenty curse for 500 naira. Broke ass nigger.

Sleepy hallow Arrow Mistresses Power Akward and Lucifer

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Crushing on a fake picture.

The stüpidity never ends. [/color]

How do u knw she is fake?

Op if the guy doesn't have feelings for u, trust me when i say u wld never be able to force it out of him and since its the virgin girl he wants let him be, there are so many other guys in d world.

allanphash7:
Your mom will finish someday now or u forgotten?

Everybody wld die some day, i know but she is worth more than 100m to me, i rather sacrifice the 100m to save her than to do it d other way around, sorry i dont reason like u do.

Not again!!!!!!!

my mum abeg, money would still finish, it wouldn't stay 4eva plus my mum is worth more than the 100m

Congratulations.

PrimeMinisterr:
hey kid, since no one seemed to notice, the correct word is 'threatening' not 'trentling'.

I guess they noticed, they are just mocking the dude.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. You shldnt go around bragging bout being beautiful, you are still small sha i can see why its getting to ur head.

He broke your heart, true. There are guys like that, true, but that doesnt mean the gud ones arent out there.

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