tintingz: Because you and your friend had bad experience in a polygamous home doesn't apply to every polygamous home.

I'm raised in a polygamous home and we are the "happily polygamous family" type .

Hate, jealousy also occur in monogamous homes not only in poly homes.

Stop the lies. Why cant you give details? The people with bad experiences with polygamy have given detailed stories of how they suffered. You are just telling us with one line that you are happy.


How many wives in your family?
How does the husband apportion time and resources between wives?

iyaire: @Godsdivinefavour I admire your courage and I understand how difficult the decision will be, I also grew up in a polygamous home thou my mum and stepmum never lived together, fast forward dad died stepmum was busy making troubles over properties she met on ground guess she also died fighting. I just feel living together will make issues worst

richybanky: Polygamous family is a war on is own.. I also came out from a polygamous family, if I start narrating wat my eyes went tru from my fathers house walaii I won't finish it cus its a seasonal movie on its own.. My father married 7 wives tho I don't knw his first and second wife, dey both gave him 1'1 guys which I don't even knw dere wer about my mum was d 4th same like 2nd since 1st&2nd ar nt staying wit him
Many tins happenend tho I was still very young dat time, d 5th &6t wives ar nt staying wit us bt both of dem had 3 children for my dad, my popsy last wife seems very good den bt playing some games under d ground which is not clear to everybody... I was in JSS3 (1998) dats 16years ago wen my dad took my mum and my step mum(Iyanle) like d way Yoruba pple called it to court and divorced dem just bcus we refused to eat slide bread
D last wife traveled to Lagos and bought bread wen coming home bt because we ar still very young and we always listen to whatever our mums told us so we agree nt to eat anything she bought or gives to us..
Dat was how everything started
1. Dey said My mum and her Iyanle av already planned to eliminate dere husband (strange story)
2. My p.man took both of dem to court and divorced dem still funny to me up till now for divorcing someone u didn't even married legally.
3. Many tins many tins happened dat I can nt start mentioning bt Glory be to God for everything
4. My mum and her Iyanle ar still living single life up to dis moment (16 years ago) which I pity dem so very much cus dey can never remarry again.. Who is going to marry someone whose already had 4/5 children?
Since I finished sec skul, av bin praying to God dat anything dat will make me to have more dan 1 wife should not come my away cus I learnt so much from my father mistakes.. Polygamous family is a WAR!!

It is good that we are seeing the bad side of polygamy. People are giving their testimonies.

I wonder how any young man or woman of this generation (20- 35 years) who is educated and stable can look at polygamy and see it as a wise choice.

We know that muslims and traditionalists are here to defend their inferior ideologies.


Sha the truth is coming out.

tintingz: You haven't explain to us what you mean by advance countries.

Polygamy is practiced in your so called advance countries.

e.g Akon is a polygamist.

Feminists are also protesting to legalize polygamy(whether polygyny, polyandry), since homosexualism is a already practice.

Legalize Polygamy! By Jillian Keenan A Feminist
https://www.nairaland.com/1345679/legalize-polygamy-jillian-keenan-feminist

Again what do you mean by your advance country?

Akon is muslim. A hypocritical one at that. You should be careful about the people you hype.
Akon is an American. Polygamy is illegal in America. I do not know why you are such a liar and so dull.



Funny how you put the opinion of a widely-criticized feminist as something serious. lol. Why not find out what majority of feminists say on polygamy rather than post the rantings of one fringe extremist feminist?


============================================

How do you rank an advanced country?

-high literacy rates
-high income per head
-human rights eg freedom of religion, speech etc
-Equality of income (when it comes to income redistribution)
-High economic standard of li
-lots of exports (positive balance of trade)



Your Arab countries (UAE KUWAIT SAUDI) mentioned lag far behind western countries on this criteria.

BABE3:

you want women to be free and have choices yet you're against polygamy. You're not only simple minded yourself, you're all what coogar says you are.

Marraige is what you make it. No one forces anyone to get married or stay married (under normal circumstances).





how is it your business how women choose to live their lives?? These women don't mind sharing. The women going into polygamy want to share. Don't you get it?

Some people, like coogar mentioned, don't even fancy the extensive emotional connection serenren. So they shouldn't have a choice?

Taxing? I've given a solution.

Sharing? The parties involved don't mind.

What else is the problem, logicboy?

lmao.......I just have to laugh.

Maybe when you grow up, you will understand why advanced countries do not legalize polygamy.

For now, you are deluded by your own environment or culture.


You said that you have given tax solutions when in reality, you are talking like a financial illiterate. Grow up.

Even business partnerships between only 2 people can take years of litigation to share assets in dissolution. You think that it would be easy to share stuff during death/divorce in a polygamous family where documentation of assets is not legally required and hence lacking compared to a business partnership?



I want women to have choices. Does that mean I should support the wrong and illegal choices they make? Do you think at all?

BABE3:

you want women to be free and have choices yet you're against polygamy. You're not only simple minded yourself, you're all what coogar says you are.

Marraige is what you make it. No one forces anyone to get married or stay married (under normal circumstances).





how is it your business how women choose to live their lives?? These women don't mind sharing. The women going into polygamy want to share. Don't you get it?

Some people, like coogar mentioned, don't even fancy the extensive emotional connection serenren. So they shouldn't have a choice?

Taxing? I've given a solution.

Sharing? The parties involved don't mind.

What else is the problem, logicboy?

lmao.......I just have to laugh.

Maybe when you grow up, you will understand why advanced countries do not legalize polygamy.

For now, you are deluded by your own environment or culture.

coogar:

coogar? romance section?
you must be high on cheap pawpaw leaves. you will not find any of my posts there in the last 3 years(at least).

Sexuality nko?

coogar:

you mean we have met before? where? when?

I have a dislike for romance/sexuality section frequents. Thanks to ishilove.


We have never met.

coogar:

i doubt it!



oh!
i have been arguing with a godless simpleton?

oh, the feeling is mutual. I had beef for you long time ago.

coogar:

you are a fool!
matter of fact, you are the biggest fool in this community of 1 million posters. marriage is difficult for people who wish it so.

if you were raised from a difficult marriage, some of us weren't. so stick your putrid opinion to yourself, you recto-cranially inverted leprechaun.

lol.....my parents have been married for almost 40 years now.

Go and sleep.


by the way, I am an atheist......put that in your pipe and smoke it

BABE3:

logicboy so you're misogynistic? Comparing a slave to an adult woman? You're trying to say women have low IQ and can be bought? Or they can't take full responsibility for their actions and choices?

I don't understand this comparison, Mr. Logic.

Dont call me misogynistic abeg. Dont use that word lightly.

Please, understand what an analogy is. I never said that the women in polygamy are slaves (although they have slave-like reasoning).

Note that I am not also talking about ALL women. Just some women who have chosen to be shared like a toy. Husband with 4 wives works 9-5 from monday to friday....has only 6 hours to meet them on monday to friday evening before he sleeps. out of those 6 hours, he will waste 1 hour coming from work. 5 hours left. Do you think those five hours a day on weekdays is enough time to emotionally connect with wives?

1 hour each for each wife.....shared like a toy

BABE3:

logicboy so you're misogynistic? Comparing a slave to an adult woman? You're trying to say women have low IQ and can be bought? Or they can't take full responsibility for their actions and choices?

I don't understand this comparison, Mr. Logic.



Those men failed to plan. That's why polygamy should be legalized. If there were laws concerning property sharing/divorce/death of polygamists, most of those struggles wouldnt be happening.


plus people generally overblow the bad side of polygamy. There are plenty of polygamy marriages that are working just fine. Are the marraige sob stories we read here from polygamists or monogamists?

if the man is capable and the wives are in love with each other, polygamy isn't a bad idea. Not as bad as gäy-ism that we all embrace now.

what causes strife in polygamy is the fact that the wife that's not comfortable with the idea of another wife has refused to leave the marraige. She stays and causes wahala.

I feel that you are too young or simple minded on this issue. Life is not a bed of roses.

Marriage is difficult....talkless about marriage between 3 or more people

tintingz: Prostitution? after she's with a child?

OK it led some into prostitution, are they not sleeping with married men and even have a lover among them?

Lol, mention what UAE lack.

What's advance and what's beautiful to you?


being a Muslim doesn't stop me from quoting reasonable words from people not of my religion.

Fela is not a Muslim I can quote is lyrics.

Aristotle is not a Muslim I can quote his words.

Pope Francis is not a Muslim I can quote his words.

I can quote Mandela words.

Islam commands Muslims to make use of
anything that helps them attain a better life and
not to feel hesitant to accept wisdom from other
people.

Did I post the quote because of a witch cartoon character?

Anyway I'm a fan of "The Addams Family"

so what as slavery got to do with polygamy?

1) UAE lacks freedom of religion, scientific research and innovation, a strong manufacturing sector, a sensible number of multi-nationals etc

2) You didnt know who morticia is. Stop lying that you are a fan of Addams family.

3) You didnt understand the context of her quote. Left alone, it makes sense but when you see that she is a weird goth/witch/satanist, you will understand that it is actually not a quote a muslim should use. Gay people have used a similar quote too.

4) Fela is not a witch/satanist. Witches/satanists are condemned in the bible.....

5) I use slavery as an analogy

6) Single mamassssss

coogar:

never lost an argument since i was born. i am only laughing at the ground-zero level your intelligence seems to be.



none of those countries has any advancement you would find in UAE or singapore. you have to travel to these places and see things for yourself not the rubbish you are pulling out of your rectum.



you are a glorified simpleton!

research based on what? what were the indices of the criteria that the research were based on? whether a woman can wear miniskirt or whether a woman can be promiscuous?

if that's your advancement then the money spent on your education should have been used to prevent your conception. scientific research on how people should live their lives?
you are infinitely stüpid!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1746202_obamalaugh300x200_jpeg9dc5298243e7b91e7485aaf305010e8e

striktlymi:

Guy stop trying too hard...

The New york times got it spot on. Nigeria is faced with increasing population not overpopulation. I am sure you wouldn't know the difference even if I try to explain.

Economist indeed!

The new york times already lists overpopulation issues that are currently challenging Nigerians and you are here looking for a way to lie that that Nigeria is not overpopulated?

-traffic jams (too many cars)
-inadequate housing facilities for the masses
-50% unemployment


I understand that it is only after you personally get hit by some of these issues that you will admit that Nigeria is overpopulated now.

Seun: I just misunderstood what they were saying. Nothing to see here.

And you shared it?

[size=3pt]Please, let no tool come and try to derail this thread by either claiming that I am usermane or that I have not put up evidence for what I have said[/size]

It is bad enough that my fellow atheist, Seun Osewa is silent on the atheist discrimination that goes on on the religion section (to be fair, it has now died down) but now, we have Seun Osewa supporting abuse and religious bigotry.


One thing that is dividing islam and christianity is sectarianism. Different denominations or sects of a religion fighting each other.


I just went to my shared posts and found out that Seun shared this post;

Ayinba1: You have been outed. OR you only see what your eyes choose to see.
Someone murders an innocent being and says it is Islam. You go dig up Hadiths to support the murderers claim when the Quran is very clear about this crime. You are a preacher of violence and you will not succeed in your quest to mislead others

https://www.nairaland.com/1794405/islam-muslims-side-talk-station/29#26747149


This shared comment is a reply to Usermane. The comment is accusing Usermane of being a preacher of violence and supporting terrorists (ISIL).


To put more nuance and context into this issue, one has to understand that Usermane is a liberal muslim who doesnt take some sunni interpretations while Ayinba1 and many other muslims on the section are conservative muslims. They have been branding Usermane as a fake muslim or a heretic for sometime.....which is very wrong. Sectarianism- "your interpretation of islam is wrong and mine is right".

Furthermore, if you follow the line of argument in the thread, the argument was about "who is responsible for isis and prophecy about isis". Usermane was only saying that
1) Islam (violent interpretations) and the west both are responsible for ISIL
2) That there was no prophecy in the holy books about ISIL.

Yet, we have fellow muslims calling Usermane a preacher of violence. This has been a constant trend of mockery and abuse of Usermane as a "heretic".


For Seun to support this abuse is shameful. Rule number 2.



Also, there is no atheist, christian or pagan here that will describe usermane as violent. Usermane always uses peaceful language, doesnt insult and is very liberal and openminded. In my village, the old men say that "a great man is one whose enemies still praise".


tags; usermane, ayinba1, maclatunji, mukina2, mynd44,

DOnly1: Never, what union has light got with darkness.

And your arrogant pharisee self will think that you are the light.

coogar:

just like many american states practise capital punishments, cops openly shoot at innocent citizens and use stand your ground technicality. death is death!



you have the intelligence quotient of a pubic louse. what criteria were used to compile these stats. the west & the east are polar opposites. if the people of the east were to compile a list of what they consider what's best for their women, the list would churn out different countries.

it's a matter of opinion - it's not set in stone!



[img]http://toungtwisted.files./2013/04/rape-top-10.png[/img]

rapë must definitely be a good advancement for the women.

See this olodo. You call scientific research "opinions"?

Dullard

BABE3:

This boy is not serious. I actually thought you had a major problem with polygamy. So its taxing polygamists that's giving you concern ?


They will be taxed accordingly. Humans are smart; we've always found ways to solve problems as little as that.
You said who'll go through the wahala of reconciling public records? Well, the tax people's work load will increase thereby creating more jobs. Problem solved.


As per divorce and inheritance, it's common sense. Any woman going into polygamy will embrace sharing everything. If the man dies, his wealth will be shared accordingly. If the man wants to divorce one of his wives, she gets her share.

The law will be harder on the man. He won't be able to leave all his wives at once coz the consequences will be huge. So the main responsibility lies on him. Thereby making any man going into polygamy to think twice.

These things are easy.

I will leave you to deceive yourself that such things are easy.


You have probably blinded yourself to the fights and struggle for property/assets that polygamy has wrecked on many Nigerian families.

Maybe when you have seen a friend busted for tax evation or filled a tax form yourself, you will understand

coogar:

based more on what my eyes have seen. literacy in what? people who can read & write in any language are literates. it doesn't have to be english. gender-equality is tied with culture, tradition & religion. what is okay in the west is a taboo in the east & vice versa.

on whose spectrum are you looking at it? western education? a fool like you trained by the west is saying western education is the best? do you know any better than what you see on CNN?



and yet these western expatriate engineers ignored ghettoes in all the US states & went to develop another man's country? you are a fool!



exactly why it should bother you that i am challenging your frail points. i know what i am speaking about, not the nonsense you are pulling out of your arsë

Do you hear that?

That is the sound of you losing the argument




Please take note of my earlier post listing the top advanced countries. Maybe I will take you seriously if you tried to put hard evidence behind your posts

tintingz: So you are the one to make choices for these women?

No. I never said that. Strawman

tintingz:
single motherhood is what led some women into polygamy marriage.

so it is an issue in these thread.

Single motherhood also led some women into prostitution. This is a trivial matter

tintingz:
UAE like coogar stated is an advanced society and they practice polygamy, are they not better than many countries in the west?

Dont mix "beautiful" with "Advanced". UAE lacks so many things that an advanced country shouldnt when you compare it with the West.

tintingz:

You are a muslim quoting a satanist/witch character from a western cartoon. I find this hilarious. You are quoting someone that is trying to make her satanic rituals sound normal. lmao

tintingz:
Polygamy is not the same as slavery.

The two doesn't go together.

of course.

tintingz: Like BABE3 said polygamy can't work if women don't accept the proposal.

Slavery also cant work if men dont sell their brethren into slavery and slaves do not revolt.


You and BABE3 are pointless.


You talk as if women dont make wrong choices.

coogar:

abu dhabi is better than any city in the west.

based on what factual standard?

is it more literate, more technologically advanced, more gender equal, more developed?


How many things do you have that are produced from the west and those produced in Abu dabi?

The very Abu Dhabi that was constructed with the help of western expatriate Engineers?


If I didnt know better, I would have claimed that you are a muslim conspiracy theorist like the ones we have on NL

coogar:

UAE, kuwait, saudi arabia are infinitely better than any country i have been in the west. the most advanced countries? advanced has different meanings to different people.

if your "advanced" means kids going to school with kalashnikov to shoot their mates, where homosëxuality is legal, where teenage pregnancy is very high, where rapë statistics are high, where divorce rate is 50% then you lack moral values.

See this one


Saudi UAE and Kuwait all have incomplete or a lack of ra.pe statistics, yet you feel bold enough to compare it with the USA and the West that do not hide their statistics? Gay people deserve rights. Do you even know that Saudi beheads more people than ISIS?


[size=14pt]Please look at the top ten advanced countries and point out where you will find UAE, Kuwait and Saudi. One of us is talking with hard evidence and one of us is talking nonsense from his azzhole[/size]











========================================
top 10 countries for women (BBC + World Economic Forum)
1. Iceland
2. Finland
3. Norway
4. Sweden
5. Philippines
6. Ireland
7. New Zealand
8. Denmark
9. Switzerland
10. Nicaragua
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-24650912



Top 10 most advanced countries (Human Development Index 2014)
1)Norway 0.891 (Steady)
2)Australia 0.860 (Steady)
3)Netherlands 0.854 (Increase 1)
4)Switzerland 0.847 (Increase 3)
5)Germany 0.846 (Steady)
6)Iceland 0.843 (Increase 2)
7)Sweden 0.840 (Decrease 4)
8.)Denmark 0.838 (Increase 1)
9)Canada 0.833 (Increase 4)
10)Ireland 0.832 (Decrease 4)

tintingz: Lol

coogar, nice posts there.

Face me like a man, bro

BABE3:

and you know what?

The concept of polygamy cant work if the women themselves don't agree to it.

If the man brings home a second wife and the first wife leaves coz she's not comfortable, that's monogamy. If the man brings home a third wife and the second wife leaves, that's monogamy. And so on. The man will be forced to be monogamous if women don't like polygamy.

It's the women that have the final say, so why cry foul?
... please what's the problem here?

because women cant make wrong choices abi?

mtchew

coogar:

don't mind that troll who cannot tell his left hand from his right. the level of stüpidity some people exude is baffling!



you are a cretinous vermin!
biblical jewish tradition is barbaric by whose standards? what a sheep!



you are a rank idïot!
men are living with multiple wives in europe. it's the ceremony that is illegal, not the act. muslims in the UK have more than one wife in their homes & they practise their polygamy openly.



your propensity to stretch the borders of daftness is unrivalled. i said so - your lack of exposure is your biggest challenge, not polygamy. you have deludedly concluded the only reason any woman would marry an already married man is because of dependency.

the former wife of the london mayor(boris johnson) married an islamic polygamous man.
this was her reason - I realise that I am unlikely to conceive children [at my age] so we agreed that, so long as he chooses a good partner, then I am happy to live together in an extended family



if they aren't better, why are the western folks there? a chunky percentage of the people doing menial jobs over there are western folks. their health sector & oil sector are ridden with western folks. they are very rich, little or no drug problems & homelessness is almost nonexistent like you will find in many western countries today.



like i told you, it's the ceremony that is illegal in the UK. any man can marry 22 wives in nigeria & ship all the women to britain & leave with them till the day he dies.

There is no need to argue any more with you. You have lost and are shifting the argument.

Furthermore, you talk like a local person. How can someone compare UAE, Kuwait and Saudi to the west? Google the most advanced countries and the most female friendly countries and see whether you will find any of these three in the top 10 rankings.



Polygamy is illegal in advanced countries and in the top 10 countries for women ranking. Go figure. Their societies are progressing without your barbaric practice of polygamy

Ukutsgp: that is what i'm saying. there are no true atheist in Nigeria. it is those confused christians that call themselves atheist including u.

You are raving mad.

I know you do not have one single atheist friend and that is why you are ranting nonsense

BABE3:

if all the parties agree to it, how is it your problem??

And if the first wife doesn't want to be a part of polygamy, who is preventing her from leaving the marraige (since marriage is not a lifetime contract)?

Of course, I will support any wife that wants to leave polygamy.


If all the parties agree, who is then going to go through the wahala of reconciling their public records? How do you tax a man with four wives sensibly? How do you divide the assets or inheritance of a family with four wives?

If a man has four wives, how does one divide a compound into four? Who then owns the property when the man dies? Who owns the deeds to the house? Do you think western society rejects polygamy without thinking?

Do you know that wills are contested? Do you know that many even die without wills?

A monogamous marriage is very easy to settle in times of divorce, inhertiance and settlements. It will easily be between the alive spouse and children.

tintingz:
So why do we find women accepting polygamy proposal?

Let start from Nigeria where single mothers are stigmatize.

are you the one to tell what's right and what's wrong?

Some women make the wrong choices. Some women are desperate to escape from poverty and they become second or third wives. It still doesnt make it right.


Single mothers is another issue for another day..

Right and wrong are a matter of reasoning, logic and effectiveness. Advanced societies try their best to adhere to policies that work, that are logical and that are a result of serious reasoning/planning.

Polygamy is neither effective or logical from a societal point of view.

tintingz:
The ISIS enjoy the killing, the journalist they killed is from a nation they hate, their enemy.

...so it is a score to them.

choice is about possibilities.

To the ISIS killing their enemy is a score to them.

we are talking about what is beneficial to someone, to some women polygamy is not anti-woman because they benefit from it.

Slavery is also beneficial to the slave-master and the house-negro (house-slave). It doesnt mean that slavery is good. Do you know that some house slaves wouldnt leave their slave masters because of the free housing and food?