₦airaland Forum

are in relationships mainly because we want to feel loved, cared for and share an intimate with our partners, but if the relationship lacks happiness and fun that means something heinous is wrong somewhere.

Being in a relationship does not mean one party should dominate, control or have authority over the other party. There should be mutual agreement over anything you are doing together.

Everything in life has a starting point likewise been abused in a relationship starts one day, it is a gradual process which your boyfriend may try to exhibit in order to control you.

Abuse is a kind of cruel behaviour which a partner exert upon his intimate partner in order to maintain power over her. It could be emotional, physical, sexual, or phycological abuse.

Physical abuse involves beating, hitting, kicking leaving several bruises on the victim. While emotional abuse emerged in different forms such as jeolousy, insecurity, negligence or over possessiveness.

If your partner is trying to exhibit any of the behaviours listed below, it shows he would definitely abuse you.

1. Panic of your boyfriend; When you are afraid of him because of his attitude towards you. A lover should be free with each other, but if you are fond of afraiding him, anytime he is around you, then you have an abusive boyfriend.

2. Too Aggressive; When he always get angry with you over minor misunderstanding, take it very serious and turn it into beating and punching.

3. Denys you freedom; When he tries to know all your movements and control every aspects of your life. When he tries to choose the type of life you must live without considering your happiness.

4. Always putting you down; When he always humiliates you in front of his friends or families, make you feel unworthy and still claims to love you.

5. Does not respect you; A real man spoils his woman with attention, affection, respect and love. But if your relationship lacks any of these attributes that means you are in an unhealthy relationship.

6. Extremely jealous and possessive; When he does not trust you and don’t want you to mingle with friends especially with opposite sex. He frequently gets jealous or angry when you spend time with your friends.

7. Gain power over you; When he uses any slight opportunity to treat you how he likes without considering your feelings. When he thinks he is the Alfa and omega with without considering your feelings and opinions, that is a warning signs that you are dating an abusive boyfriend.

If you find yourself in this kind of relationship, it is more advisable to flee for your life rather than thinking that your partner will change will change for good. No matter how much you try to change him or endure, an abuser will always be an abuser.

Some ladies think their boyfriends are abusive, because of stress or economy situation. That is not true, abuse is not caused by stress, depression, anger, or oppression, it is a choice of an abuser to be abusive.

Although, no relationships is perfect, differences and misunderstanding could lead to conflict, especially when you and your partner have difference views on your ways of doing things, but that should never leads to abuse. There is always a way a mature man handles situations not by abusing his girlfriend.

https://loversminds.com/7-signs-of-an-abusive-boyfriend/

This is very sad. God please have mercy on us

Congratulations

Love in the air! Nigeria soldier, Abba Peter shares adorable pre-wedding shoots of him and his bride to be, Faith Emmaneul. The lovers have been in relatioship for some years and decided to take their love to another level, by walking down the aisle in couples of days.

https://loversminds.com/love-in-the-air-nigerian-soldier-shares-stunning-pre-wedding-photos/

I’m having crush on him, but how will I know if he also likes me? This is what you keep pondering on when you have crush on someone.

I could remember my high school days when I had a crush on a guy, I just decided to make it one sided love, because if my crush get to know he might take me for granted.

It nice to have a crush, but how would you know if your crush also loves you or will reciprocate.

Here are the following signs that a guy has crush on you

1.He may always come around you; If he is a type of guy that is smart and confident, he would always want to be by your side. But if he is kind of shy guy he would always have an intense feeling anytime he is around you and make an ingenuine excuse in order to avoid you. You may not notice it, but when you start paying attention to this you will notice it.

2. Send Visual/Body Language; He would be sending love signals to you such as making eye contact with you, smiling at unfunny things you do, positioning his body in contact with you, just to let you know he has feelings for you.

3. Make you feel special; Your crush will always make you feel unique, treat you like a queen and always make himself available to help and support you. He will also complement you because he is already having one sided love for you.

4. Stock your Pictures on Phone; He won’t get tired of you, he would follow you on all social media, and download your pictures on phone without letting you know.

5. Communication; A guy that has crush on you will always look for a way to talk with you, no matter how much talk or chat you both have, he won’t get bored. He would always want to hang out with you.

6. Jealous; He would definitely get jealous when he sees you around other guys, he may cease seeing you for some time out of jealousy if you make him get angry. The more you flaunt around guys the more he would get jealous.

All these signs signified that he has a crush on you. Don’t walk up to him in order to uphold your dignity, you can just give him a green light, I mean a welcoming face that would ease his tensions and make coming to you more easier and fun.

https://loversminds.com/wondering-if-he-likes-you-5-signs-he-has-crush-on-you/

Chai, there is God ooooo

So touching

It baffles me when I see a lady exhibiting features of man in terms of dressing, walking, talking and so on.

I do wonder if a tomboy could have a boyfriend or ever go on a date, because of her masculine behaviour and look. Although, guys do appreciate tomboys, but I don't think they admire or have a crush on tomboy.

However, when I see a tomboy having a boyfriend or going on a date, it really surprises me.

Here is a lady who is fully a tomboy (she rocks on low cut, always on masculine clothes, and she don't put on makeup).

She ties nuptial knot with the love of her life in grand style. She looks beautiful, gorgeous and feminine in her wedding dress. See photos....


https://loversminds.com/tomboy-ties-knot-with-her-lover-photos/

When it comes to marrying a woman of your dream, your hope is to marry a diligent, humble and decent woman. Dating your girlfriend for many years does not proves that you totally know the kind of person you are dealing with. There are some types of women you must never marry if you want to have a peaceful and fruitful marriage.

God created human beings in a dynamic way, a cruel woman may disguise as a good person, at the same time a lousy woman may pretend as a gentle being. Human beings have the power to hide their true identity.

In the olden days, women were known as the coolest and modest beings, there aims and objectives then was how they would take care of their husbands and children. Their husband’s success is their happiness, and also respected their husband’s relatives.

However, the table has turned around, women have changed dramatically, they don’t want to settle for less anymore. In spite of these, they still play the role of home maker by catering for their husbands and children, but some women are just too difficult to define. Such types of women are;

1. A woman that fights with weapon;
This is a type of woman that loves to fight with weapon whenever she has an argument with her spouse, she uses any available dangerous weapon she finds around her, such as knife, gun, sharp object to fight, such woman could kill her man in the name of defending herself.



2. A woman that always accuses her husband of infidelity;
This type of woman doesn’t trust her man for once, all she does is to check her spouse’s phone contacts and messages, even if her husband is not cheating on her. And also fight any ladies she sees around him by accusing him of infidelity.


3. An aggressive woman;
This is a woman that makes home a hell for her husband, she is always ready to pick a fight at every opportunity. She possesses anger outbursts and unpredictable attitude that pissed off husband, to the extent that her man is never happy to go home after work. Such type of woman can also be referred as a nagging woman who never allow her man to have peace and also fond keeping malice with her husband. Read more....


Source: https://loversminds.com/5-types-of-women-you-must-never-marry/

And that Liz will consider herself as Nollywood star. Rest in peace nollywood

So what next

crafteck:
If Argentina beat us, na abortion straight

A housewife, Hassana Angyan, on Tuesday begged a Kubwa Grade 1 Area Court to dissolve her marriage with Shuaibu Abdullahi, over his drunkenness, refusal to pray and battery.
Angyan told the court that she got married to Abdullahi 30 years ago, under Islamic Law, the marriage produced six children.
She then said Abdullahi formed the habit of drinking beer and refuses to perform the five times obligatory Islamic prayers.

She added that her husband also refused to observe the Muslim fast that was just concluded during Ramadan.
‎“Whenever he is drunk, he engages me in physical fight and beats me up mercilessly,” she said.
She, however, prayed for the court to dissolve her marriage on the grounds of Abdullahi’s drunkenness, refusal to pray and constant beating.

Abdullahi, who is a cleaner at Efab Metropolis Estate, Dutse Express, Abuja, pleaded guilty saying that he would write an undertaking to stop drinking.‎
He also said he would share his salary into two, keep half of it to himself and give the other half to his wife for upkeep.
The judge, Abdulwahab Mohammed, however, asked Angyan to observe her husband’s attitude and report to court on June 28.


https://loversminds.com/wife-seek-divorce-over-husbands-drunkenness-and-refusal-to-pray/

A man whose name is Joseph Rakich, new Zealand fitness trainer, pulled off a most romantic proposal yesterday.

The fitness trainer flew his lover (Mary) in a helicopter to a place called Eden park where the proposal took place.

Mary was blindfolded in the helicopter, when they got to Eden park, she was walked towards a pink range rover, with a customized logo of “will you marry me”.
Joseph proposed her, you know what she would definitely say. She said yes! See photos .....


https://loversminds.com/man-proposes-to-girlfriend-with-customised-range-rover/

How capable are you when it comes to satisfying your wife in the other room? There are different reasons for men weakness in bed, but the major reasons for men weakness in bed range from physical to psycological reasons.

The intimacy couples share make their relationship stronger. Sex is one of the tools that cements every relationship, but if one party does not fulfil sexual desire of the other party troubles and doubting gradually set in.

When a man failed to satisfy his wife sexually, the woman might consider it as sex starvation and this problem is one of the factors causing marital problems.

However, if a man can fulfil his marital duty, I don’t see any tangible reason why a woman should have someone else.

Research shows some of the reasons why some men are weak in bed leaving their wife stranded.

Premature Ejaculation;
This is one of the main reasons why some men are unable to stay long in bed. It occurs when you release sooner during sexual intercourse than you expected. Both psychological and biological factors could play a vital role in premature ejaculation.

Lack of Sexual Skill;
Everything in life requires skills, same thing applicable to sex. Women love who can make them reach climax. If you stay up to twenty mins in bed without satisfying your woman, she would consider you as a lazy and poor sex mate.

As a real man you must know where to touch that will make her crave for more. Sex is not all about ”mount and discharge”. It is important for you to learn about sexual skills in order to save your marriage.

Although, most men feel embarrassed to talk about it, even with their wives. The good news is that is treatable. All you need is to visit a medical expert and get yourself treated, It is advisable for you to improve your sex life.

Masturbation;
This is one of the reasons that cause man weakness in bed, masturbation is never good for both men and women. It kills sexual urges, those who often train their bodies with masturbation easily get off quickly.

Small Manhood;
Survey gathered shows that women like bigger manhood, believing that bigger manhood tends to satisfy them better than men with smaller ones. Have you ever asked your woman if she is okay by your size?

Have seen several cases, where a wife divorces her husband because of his small size. There are some little things which couples always shy away from and it means a lot in marriage. I trust you won’t want same to be applicable to you. Therefore, there are many products out there which you may buy to increase your size.

Sex Position;
Most men don’t know what they want, talk less of how their partner want it. Sex position are formula for great sex. Reason for your weakness in bed might not be because of medical reasons.

There are different styles for sex position such as doggy style, spooning, cow girl, missionary etc. You and your wife should talk about the best position that will help both of you and the one that suits your strength.

However, talking to an expert can be a great advantage to amend your sex life.

https://loversminds.com/5-major-reasons-for-men-weakness-in-bed/

Apostle Anselm Madubuko is the General overseer of Revival Assembly Church, he is a native of Orsumoghu in Ihiala local Government, Anambra State. He shares his marital life experience with punch during an interview.

The interview goes thus;

How did you meet your late wife?

My late wife was working in a computer firm in Ikoyi, Lagos. We ran into each other on a particular day and we became good friends. After I got saved, she became my first convert to Christ.

Did your wife play hard to get when you showed interest in her?

Those days, women were not a problem for me and I had a very good relationship with women.

When did you got married?

I got married quite early at 26. I was 28 when I had my first kid. At that point, I wanted to get married. I was not bothered about anything because I knew God was in charge. I have learnt in life never to worry about things I cannot control.

Why did you marry at 26?

I cannot really say. I had completed university education and I became born again. If I was not saved by God, I am not sure I would have married when I did. When I gave my life to Christ at 25, everything about me changed completely and I had nothing else to do but to get married.

How many children are you blessed with?

I have three kids, but spiritually, I have many kids. My first child is a boy, followed by two girls. I have two grandchildren.

I have always prayed to God to give me good kids. I didn’t care about the sex. This is a thing people should know about. For me, the important thing is for the kids to be taken care of because they are God’s gifts.

How do you manage your roles as a pastor and father?

I have not done it well. I ended up leaving my kids with their mother while they were growing up. I was always travelling to one place or the other. Growing up, they knew their mother more than their father. That is my regret. I was busy working for God. Given another chance, I would wish to balance things in a way that my children would not suffer my absence. I have tried my best to correct my mistakes as they grew older and they aren’t doing badly now.

What event do you consider as the low moment of your life?

I have had many low moments in my life. I felt terrible when I lost my father and mother. My father died at 70. I didn’t expect him to die when he died. For me, I consider anyone who dies at 70 a young person. Ninety is the best age to die.

My father was there for me all my life; he sacrificed a lot for his kids. But before he died, I was not in a position to do much for him. However, my mother lived above 90. She had a good life.

Why didn’t you take your wife’s death as the low point of your life?

As stated before, I have many low points. But when my father died, I felt worst than my wife’s death. I cannot explain why it appeared so.

When did your wife die?

She died in 2012. I didn’t expect her to die when she did and I was not in the country. I left Nigeria on a Wednesday night and we still spoke when I got to the airport. The next thing I heard on Friday was that she had passed on.

What caused her death?

She was not sick; it was a sudden death. If she had been ill, I wouldn’t have left her. As a strong woman that she was, she didn’t show signs of weakness as well. Our family doctor of over 25 years did his best but told me there was no life in her any longer.

I was more confused than annoyed when I heard the news of my wife’s death. I was too shocked to feel anything. She was in her 50s when she died; we were age mates. The only time I felt bad was the day of her burial as it dawned on me that she was really dead. But before then, I kept thinking she would wake up because she was really a strong woman. I couldn’t go to the mortuary to see her, but I had to see her during the lying-in-state.

How did your children react to your decision to remarry?

My children were happy when I told them I wanted to remarry. They knew I would be in the hands of a good woman. When my wife died, they didn’t want me to be left alone; they were always checking on me. In a way, I was disturbing them because they couldn’t live a day without worrying about me.

But it was God who told me to remarry even though I did not take another wife. I even said it on the pulpit that I would not remarry. But God, who saw things I didn’t see, told me I must marry and marry fast. Now, I know why He said it and I thanked God I followed His direction.

Were you not worried that people could condemn you for remarrying a year after your wife’s death?

Of course, my decision to remarry generated a lot of attention from the public but I don’t care about such a thing. When my heart doesn’t condemn me, I don’t care. I don’t need to impress everyone. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone because I owe only God my life. Those close to me knew I was led by God.

When my wife passed on, every woman wanted to marry me. I was getting text messages from different women, who were telling me that God told them I was their husband. I got messages from members of my church and other women. If I had stayed unmarried for two years, I cannot imagine what would have happened to me. When I finally remarried, many single women and even married ones left the church. This is not a joke; it happened. I thank God I didn’t promise anyone marriage or was dating anyone; I didn’t owe anyone anything. Also, I didn’t need to marry anyone recommended to me.

Why did you settle for a Kenyan when you had many options?

I knew the lady many years ago when I went to preach in Mombasa, Kenya. Then, my first wife was still alive and I told my friend that I liked the way she sang and carried herself. They spoke well about her and told me her father was a bishop. Later, I invited her team to Nigeria to sing in my church and people loved them. At that point, there was nothing between us.

But many people believed we were having a secret affair even when my wife was alive, but I didn’t go out with her or touch her until we married. I also admired the fact that she did not trouble me for.Read more......

https://loversminds.com/apostle-anselm-madubuko-discloses-why-he-remarries-after-a-year-he-lost-his-wife

Stupid daughter of stupid father, nemesis will catch up on you one day

A Nigerian man whose man is Uche Ogu shares his story about how his wife breached the marital vows between them and went to marry another man while still in marriage with him

“I married my wife in 2003 in Lagos, we did catholic church wedding. Which was approved by the State as court wedding and traditional wedding. We were blessed with four children, two boys and two girls. My business was going smoothly and I also own a big duplex in Lagos.

“I noticed my wife has been sleeping with men, I confronted her but she denied. I left the issue, as time went our relatioship became unbearable, we were just living together for the sake of the kids. One day, she told me she was going to Abuja, that her uncle got her a job, I never knew she was lying, she went to plan wedding with her new husband. Eventually, the guy married her, they did white wedding, court and traditional weddings, while still married to me, I did not know all of these. she told her new husband she is coming to Lagos to put things in order.

“Less I forget, she invited the guy to my house, she told him the house is hers, that she would sell it immediately they got married. So after the wedding, she came back to Lagos to finish the job of killing me.

“On Saturday I had an appointment to keep at Ikeja. I came back late and was very hungry, I went to the fridge to get myself something to eat because she doesn’t serve me food. I wanted to take a meat, but something told me to leave the meat. I left the food and went upstairs. My phone rang, the caller said, he was lawyer that his wife told him she is having problems with her brother about her house, invariably this was the lie he told her new husband when she travelled to Lagos. Did you know her brother? That’s me.

“The new husband got my number from my house help when she was in Abuja with my children, my wife told my children not to call her mummy in Abuja, she even slapped one of them when she mistakenly called her mummy. The new husband told my wife that they should come have their honeymoon in Lagos, but she did not agree, so the guy suspected something was fishy.

“He called me and started telling me how he met my wife on Facebook, and she told him that she was still single. As her former school mates, they started dating and got married. You mean married another man’s wife? He was shocked, which wife? This woman got married to me in 2003, the children that came to your house in Abuja are her children. The guy starting crying on phone.

“All this while “our” wife was in the bedroom. I called her out to take the call from Goodwin, because that is the guy’s name. She was shocked and was shaking, for the first time I beat a woman. I slapped her two times and told her if you wanted a divorce, I would have given it to you without qualms.

“The new husband said she had messed up her life, I was consoling the guy and my feet were shaking, I asked her to leave my house that night. I asked the guy how could you conduct a wedding with a woman you barely know her family, he said my wife told him that her relative envy her, that they want her dead that is why she can’t conduct traditional wedding in their village.

“Later, my first daughter said, she saw her mummy putting a powdered substance in the soup, telling them not to eat the food that is meant only for their father.

“My wife mission for coming back to Lagos was to kill me and sell my house, but I was saved by God.

“I don’t understand why she could do such thing, I played my role as a husband to the best of my knowledge. She never worked for the years we married, I made sure I don’t make her suffer anything. I don’t beat her; I do always come home early.

“Now, the guy who married her have packed her things out while she was still in Lagos, that was how she lost her marriage both in Lagos and in Abuja”. He said.

Source; https://loversminds.com/nigerian-man-shares-story-of-his-wife-who-secretly-married-another-man-and-intend-to-kill-him-and-sell-his-property/?

A Nigerian man whose man is Uche Ogu shares his story about how his wife breached the marital vows between them and went to marry another man while still in marriage with him

“I married my wife in 2003 in Lagos, we did catholic church wedding. Which was approved by the State as court wedding and traditional wedding. We were blessed with four children, two boys and two girls. My business was going smoothly and I also own a big duplex in Lagos.

“I noticed my wife has been sleeping with men, I confronted her but she denied. I left the issue, as time went our relatioship became unbearable, we were just living together for the sake of the kids. One day, she told me she was going to Abuja, that her uncle got her a job, I never knew she was lying, she went to plan wedding with her new husband. Eventually, the guy married her, they did white wedding, court and traditional weddings, while still married to me, I did not know all of these. she told her new husband she is coming to Lagos to put things in order.

“Less I forget, she invited the guy to my house, she told him the house is hers, that she would sell it immediately they got married. So after the wedding, she came back to Lagos to finish the job of killing me.

“On Saturday I had an appointment to keep at Ikeja. I came back late and was very hungry, I went to the fridge to get myself something to eat because she doesn’t serve me food. I wanted to take a meat, but something told me to leave the meat. I left the food and went upstairs. My phone rang, the caller said, he was lawyer that his wife told him she is having problems with her brother about her house, invariably this was the lie he told her new husband when she travelled to Lagos. Did you know her brother? That’s me.

“The new husband got my number from my house help when she was in Abuja with my children, my wife told my children not to call her mummy in Abuja, she even slapped one of them when she mistakenly called her mummy. The new husband told my wife that they should come have their honeymoon in Lagos, but she did not agree, so the guy suspected something was fishy.

“He called me and started telling me how he met my wife on Facebook, and she told him that she was still single. As her former school mates, they started dating and got married. You mean married another man’s wife? He was shocked, which wife? This woman got married to me in 2003, the children that came to your house in Abuja are her children. The guy starting crying on phone.

“All this while “our” wife was in the bedroom. I called her out to take the call from Goodwin, because that is the guy’s name. She was shocked and was shaking, for the first time I beat a woman. I slapped her two times and told her if you wanted a divorce, I would have given it to you without qualms.

“The new husband said she had messed up her life, I was consoling the guy and my feet were shaking, I asked her to leave my house that night. I asked the guy how could you conduct a wedding with a woman you barely know her family, he said my wife told him that her relative envy her, that they want her dead that is why she can’t conduct traditional wedding in their village.

“Later, my first daughter said, she saw her mummy putting a powdered substance in the soup, telling them not to eat the food that is meant only for their father.

“My wife mission for coming back to Lagos was to kill me and sell my house, but I was saved by God.

“I don’t understand why she could do such thing, I played my role as a husband to the best of my knowledge. She never worked for the years we married, I made sure I don’t make her suffer anything. I don’t beat her; I do always come home early.

“Now, the guy who married her have packed her things out while she was still in Lagos, that was how she lost her marriage both in Lagos and in Abuja”. He said.

Source; https://loversminds.com/nigerian-man-shares-story-of-his-wife-who-secretly-married-another-man-and-intend-to-kill-him-and-sell-his-property/?