₦airaland Forum

Samantha124:
So far I haven't read your latest posts, but based on the posts I read in the morning, it sounds like it's got some little bit of horror in it, correct me if I'm wrong...

It may be your first time writing a novel, but you can never know.

You could get lucky... How about you write the book and get reviewers to review it for you?... They'll then rectify your mistakes and tell you where you need to improve.. If you don't trust anyone around you to review your book, there are a lot of platforms on the internet that specialize in ebook reviews.

I've joined this other site called Online Book Club and we get paid for reading and reviewing ebooks from publishers and up coming authors like yourself.

In that way, you'll be able to rectify your mistakes before publishing your book and not only could you earn from it, you may also end up as one of Africa's best authors.

Personally, I don't think nairaland is the best platform for you to get reviews... Most of them are just going to look and pass, others may not be entirely honest with you, while some could steal your story and claim it as theirs.

Wow thanks, I really appreciate your advice, if it’s not too much to ask can you share with me the link to the site you mentioned also no the story doesn’t contain horror I’m just trying to give John enough motivation and urgency to investigate the death of Annabella

Samantha124:
But why don't you write your own book and earn from it instead of posting it here on nairaland?

There are some sites that also pay authors for writing short stories.

Anyone can steal this masterpiece of yours on this forum and claim it as his or hers and make a living out of it... Have you thought about that?

Well this is my first time writing a novel I’m not sure how people will respond to it. Do you really think it’s good I mean so far

End of chapter two let me know what you guys thinks please

CHAPTER TWO CONTINUES
Morning arrived with a gentle glow seeping through the cracks in the curtains. John stretched and yawned, his mind shifting from the mysterious dream to the tasks that lay ahead. He resolved to focus on his responsibilities at the warehouse, ensuring that everything was in order for the arrival of the imported items.

As he made his way to the main area of the warehouse, he found Mr. Thompson already there, overseeing the preparations for the day. A sense of anticipation filled the air, the promise of a new beginning tingling with each passing moment. For a moment he thought of giving the ID card to Mr Thompson and sharing the dream he had about the girl with him but he decided against it. What if Mr Thompson didn’t believe him what if he thinks he is just using it as an excuse to run from work after just one day. Plus he didn’t want to risk Mr. Thompson thinking him crazy. So he told himself “John do what any normal person would do toss the ID card in the waste bin and try not to ruin this one too”.

So John shelved every thought of Annabel and the ID card and kept his attention solely on work it was the first full day of work and he wanted to impress his new boss.

Soon the much-anticipated shipment of imported items finally arrived at the warehouse. The delivery truck pulled up to the loading dock, and a team of workers began unloading the carefully packaged boxes and crates, revealing an array of exquisite interior design pieces.

Filled with a sense of responsibility, John took charge of the inventory process. He meticulously examined each item, checking for any damages or discrepancies. With a notepad in hand, he recorded the details of each piece, carefully noting its description, quantity, and condition. His keen eye for detail and systematic approach ensured that nothing escaped his scrutiny.
As the day progressed, John's dedication and commitment to his work impressed Mr. Thompson. Recognizing his efforts, the owner decided to take John out for a late lunch to show his appreciation and to discuss some important matters.

Over a meal at a nearby cafe, Mr. Thompson informed John about a recent development. The lady who was originally scheduled to join the team and assist with the warehouse operations had experienced a personal tragedy. She had lost her father and would be unable to resume work until the following week.

Understanding the difficult circumstances, John empathized with the lady and expressed his condolences. He assured Mr. Thompson that he would do his best to handle the warehouse responsibilities in her absence. Mr. Thompson appreciated John's understanding and dedication, expressing his confidence in John's abilities.

The lunch conversation shifted to their plans for the upcoming week. They discussed the tasks ahead, the need for additional help once the lady returned, and their shared goal of ensuring the smooth operation of the warehouse. Mr. Thompson emphasized the importance of teamwork and open communication, reinforcing the idea that they were all in this together.
With their lunchtime conversation coming to an end, John felt a renewed sense of purpose. He understood the trust that Mr. Thompson had placed in him, and he was determined to exceed expectations in his role as the caretaker of the warehouse.

This is the start of chapter two

Samantha124:
Nice write up... But for a story that's inspired by true life events, I think chapter one sounds more like a fiction rather than a story inspired by true life events, why?

1. I don't know about Nigeria, but usually during the morning of the exams, we're arranged alphabetically in accordance to our surnames and we don't always write in the same venue, so how did John know that he was going to write his exam on the same desk that he spent the night studying on?

2. During the exams, students are required to either take their belongings to the front, or outside of the class, so are you telling me that John didn't see his jotter on the floor as he returned from taking his study materials to the front or outside?

3. Again, as they were preparing for the exam, didn't the students sitting next to him spot the jotter on the floor and told him about it? I mean come on, anyone could've seen it.

4. Usually before the students could begin writing their exam, they're given some time to go through the question paper at first before they could be given answer sheets to start writing, are you telling me that the invigilator didn't see the jotter on the floor as he or she was distributing the question papers to the students and had it removed from the floor?

5. Even after the jotter was spotted on the floor, how come the invigilator didn't ask for any witnesses to confirm whether John was cheating or not?

6. And usually before the exams could begin, the invigilators will go through all the rows of the students just to ensure that all is well before they could tell the students to start writing, so are you telling me that not a single invigilator spotted the jotter before giving the students the permission to start writing?

Your story is not bad, but chapter one has left me with more questions than answers for me... The storyline sounds more made up rather than something based on true life story.

Thanks for your input on the story: the true life event was the ID card found at the empty warehouse while cleaning the rest I am making up as I think dear…bear with me

So I’m dropping chapter two starting today