₦airaland Forum

U take girl out, buy suya, come sit down dey chop onions and cabbage.... D worms wey dey ur belle dey swear 4 u! Mumu!

Evbenosawenemwinghaye,(21 letters). Osamaghioghomwenwi,(18 letters).

A little boy asked his father, "daddy, what's inbetween mummy's legs?" "Paradise" the father replied. "Then what's inbetween your legs" he asked. "the key to paraside" said his father. "Then change the lock, our neighbor has a spare key".

President GEJ visited the queen of England. During the course of thier conversation, he asked her, Your majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me? I want to help Nigeria. "Well" said the Queen, ''the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people". Jonathan frowned and asked, "but how do i know the people around me are intelligent?" The Queen took a sip from her cup of coffee."oh that's easy, just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle. The Queen pushed a button on her intercom "please, Send Tony Blair in here, would you?" Tony Blair walked into the room and said "Yes, your majesty?. The Queen smiled and said "answer me this please. Tony, your mother and father have a child, it's not your sister and it's not your brother, who is it?". Without pausing for a moment,Tony Blair answered "that would be me". Very good said the Queen. Jonathan came back to Nigeria and ask N.Sambo the same question. "I'm not very sure said Sambo. "Let me get back to you on that one. He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer. Finally one night, he ran into Sanusi, the CBN Governor. So Sambo asked him, Sanusi, your mother and father have a child, it's not your brother, it's not your sister, who is it? Sanusi answered sharply "that's easy, it's me!". Sambo smiled and said thanks. Then he went back to Jonathan,"sir i did some research and i have the answer to that riddle. It's Sanusi". Jonathan got up, stomped over to Sambo and angrily yelled into his face "No! You Zombie! Na Tony Blair be the answer. Eh! Upon the research wey you do! Odè!'the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people". Jonathan frowned and asked, "but how do i know the people around me are intelligent?" The Queen took a sip from her cup of coffee."oh that's easy, just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle. The Queen pushed a button on her intercom "please, Send Tony Blair in here, would you?" Tony Blair walked into the room and said "Yes, your majesty?. The Queen smiled and said "answer me this please. Tony, your mother and father have a child, it's not your sister and it's not your brother, who is it?". Without pausing for a moment,Tony Blair answered "that would be me". Very good said the Queen. Jonathan came back to Nigeria and ask N.Sambo the same question. "I'm not very sure said Sambo. "Let me get back to you on that one. He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer. Finally one night, he ran into Sanusi, the CBN Governor. So Sambo asked him, Sanusi, your mother and father have a child, it's not your brother, it's not your sister, who is it? Sanusi answered sharply "that's easy, it's me!". Sambo smiled and said thanks. Then he went back to Jonathan,"sir i did some research and i have the answer to that riddle. It's Sanusi". Jonathan got up, stomped over to Sambo and angrily yelled into his face "No! You Zombie! Na Tony Blair be the answer. Eh! Upon the research wey you do! Odè!

Send her d sh*t!

@poster, nice one! D girl tell d guy her church mind straight!

Do u remember Zebrudaya, clarus, jegede, akpenö and co. Wat's d name of dat play again? Can any one remember?

@El Guapo, u don lie! Chie! Sucker @15? U sure say no b d natural one u get 4 school @ dat age?

I remember not wanting 2 sing "rain, rain go away" when it's raining and i'm in school 'cos i tot it will b an opportunity 4 johnny d class bully 2 bully us and be d only one 2 play, Each time it's raining and i hear children singing it, i cnt help but laugh @myself.

@sledge, u too much oooh! My ribs don dey pain me. One with God, na im gather crowd!

@poster, how ur joke take relate with d topic wey u giv am? Abi u get vagina 4 head? Nonsence! Mtcheeew.

@poster, nice one. @mikuz, so somebody fit impress you?

1/10 is nigeria's independence day and normally a public holiday,so i think d driver is d muderer 'cos banks dnt operate on public holidays.

@El guapo, No, i'm not igbo. @mikuz, c as u dey happy, u don c ur fellow joke critic.

Rotflmao! Wetin concern melon and ogbolor? Abeg no kill me wit laugh, my ribs dey pain me.

U, write dis in correct english: DIS OGBOLOR SOUP TOO DRAW.

@yinkalinks, dnt mind d poster jò. He asked his girlfriend wat he wud get her wen comin 4rm work, she said shawarma, and he said "haha, dnt u knw it's not ideal 4 lady 2 take strong drink"

. Swollen? In that size? Wat if it wasn't? @poster, real funny! Nice one.

U b thief! U wan put chain 4 dog wey u no get abi? Na device wey her husband go take catch u, u dey luk 4 so. Ole kpömö!

Haba! Mikuz, , u wey be say all jokes na old joke 4 were u dey, na u con do dis kind tin?

Lol! Mr and Mrs smith.

It's my first time, so easy on d criticism. Here it is: Mimi went to her pastor and said; pastor, my dog just died, can you please conduct a memorial service for that poor creature? PASTOR: I don't conduct memorial service for animals in my church, there's a new church down the road, maybe they can help. MIMI: do u think they will accept #250,000( two hundred and fifty thousand naira) in return for a good memorial service? PASTOR: HOLY LORD! Y didn't u tell me the dog was born again!

No o! No closing yet, i didn't dey wen dis thread was start, now dat i hav came, i want 2 diding wat everyone has been donening. Oya, who is dey dere? Continous spoking jare,

Talk 2 her, if she's not lying and cares abt you, she will change. Pay her a visit in school, talk tins over with her (face 2 face, not over d phone), her reaction will give you a hint about wat she's up 2.

My desire

Nobody like albino?Nobody like albino?

Beauty without brains? Naaah, ! @o.p y didn't u ask: Beauty and character? Cos actually, beauty is in d eyes of d beholder. Ur decorated gorrilla cud b anoda man's miss world.

@upendo 98, lol! certainly, i meant d almighty GOD.

@upendo 98, god bless you!

@DOC, do u knw it also means an unpleasant person? But u won't like it if cold called u dat, wud u? Doc, pls, if i may ask, r u a virgin? If ur answer is no, then d fact that any girl has not come 2 u wit d "i miss my p*ri*d" tin does not make u righteous. I mean it cud happen 2 any one! Do u realise u won't even knw if most of these babes/guys dnt tell u? I respect ur choice, cos we all hav ours but 4 christ sakes, u r being 2 harsh on single parents. Easy on them, most of them are just victims of circumstance. It cud b u, u knw,

@doc, using d word BASTARD was rather 2 harsh. @S.A LADY, why is he or she not worthy of love? Do u guys realise most of this girls we c daily have had countless abortions? And d guys hav paid 4 abortions 2, Yet they are worthy of love. No body planned being a single parent,( weather havin a child outside wedlock or a widow/widower).