₦airaland Forum

When it comes to stories like this, don't be in a hurry to trust a woman. Many of them will paint themselves as the victim that deserves pity.

raptex:
@Martinez39

As much as I agree with many of your topics on this forum, I must say you went too far with this thread. Why are you advising people to be cold towards their parents and relatives? Haba!

Read my topic again. I am not advising anyone to be cold towards their parents and relatives. I was simply pointing out the silly sentiments and entitlement mentality of parents and relatives.

lawman88:
May God bless you OP for me. I'm becoming 'wicked' to some relatives and even parents because I am using the little moneys I'm getting to sponsor my master programme.

Even my mother never give me 50 naira since I have been going to school but she always want me to send money to her now. My mother didn't call me while in school for two years when I was in school because I told him that I'm about to withdraw from school because of lack of funds.from WAEC level to PhD level, my mother never give me kobo and never care to ask of me except when she needs money. Even today she called me for money. It's only my father that tried for me small.

Every relatives now call me to ask of me and I even tell some of them not to call me again because they never call once while I was in school. The entitlement mentality is too high and I have decided to be 'wicked' so that I can save some money to invest in my future and my children unborn.

Very good my brother. Be ''wicked." When you are suffering, you won't see these relatives. It's when you are now make it that they will come out of nowhere demanding their share because they are "family." They only care about what they can drain from you. Funny enough, they get offended when you refuse to help them and they label you a bad person. They are usually ungrateful. They don't care about you. If you like yourself, snub them. Your money is for you and your children. The rest that remain is inheritance. Even so called "friends" too are leeches. Stay safe.

Two of the problems with people especially Africans are the entitlement mentality and the seeming inability to recognise and respect individual boundaries. Many have a problem and take offence when you try to make clear to them that, in certain areas, you owe them nothing.

1) PARENTS AND THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
Most parents act like giving birth to you and taking up their responsibility of catering for you are huge favours they are granting and therefore you must be in eternal servitude to them. Parents don't realise and don't want to realise that when you bring in a child into this world, it's their duty to take care of that child no matter what it takes and they do not deserve a trophy or medal for taking up their responsibility. That's the truth.

However, many parents try to reinforce the idea that you owe them for giving birth to you and catering for you. You hear words like "after carrying you in the womb for nine months," "after all I did to take care of you," "you can't appreciate my efforts towards you" etc. All these are silly sentiments and entitlement mentality. Did the child ask the parents to have sex? Did the child send them message? Where else were you supposed to carry the child if not the womb? Were you expecting the pregnancy to be for 2 weeks? Then what's with the silly sentiments and entitlement mentality?

Some parents like to ring it in your ears how they suffered for you and imply that you owe them a lot for life. If you bring a child into this world, it's your responsibility to cater for the child. No matter how hard you suffered, it's your still your self-inflicted burden and you deserve no accolade or trophy for raising up the child. If the suffering of raising a child is too much, why did you give birth in the first place? Many children fall for their parents' entitlement mentality and blackmail that they become their parents' retirement benefits. Many children fall for their parents' entitlement mentality and blackmail that they let their parents become the authorised control freaks in their lives.

Many parents treat their children anyhow forgetting that their children have emotions and are human beings too. They justify that treatment with "I am the one taking care of you."

2) RELATIONS AND THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
The word "family" is an illusion. An illusion that justifies the entitlement mentality some members have towards others. How can you be angry at your uncle for not financially lending you a helping hand during some crisis? Is he your father? Did he bring you into this world? Your uncle owes you nothing. Family as you see it Hollywood and telenovelas, is not always support group that form a pillar for you during hard times. Most of your relatives don't care about you. If you know, you know. Most of your relatives are not happy for your progress. If you have money, they get sentimental and emotional and start begging every now and then for cash and expect you to give all because you are "family."

Some even have the audacity to imply that you ought to give because you are "family." These same family will disappear during your hard times. You owe nothing to "family" and they owe you nothing. Everyone had to be born somewhere and you, siblings and relatives happened to be connected. All that connects you are genetics. Everyone is hunting for there survival and no one cares. If you present yourself as Mr. Nice Guy, they will drain you and more annoying is that they are never grateful.

First borns should take note that they owe their siblings nothing. First borns should be bothered about establishing themselves instead of wasting their cash training siblings in school who will not appreciate when they start doing well. Your siblings are your parents' responsibility not yours. Be wise.

For those in abroad, stop sending money to family or relatives to keep for you or finance a project of yours. You will hear am. Learn to tell those at home that are dependent on you to go hustle.

As a business person, some try to get your products and services for free all in the name of being "family." Lol. Tell the leeches to fvck off. Even friends try to do such rubbish.

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Useful contributions only.

picaso313:
God bless u, u got the real picture of what the therapist was driving at.. awhole lots of women relax immediately they are married... sorri to say am having similar experience though not wit the dirty or unsexy tin... wify z hot and doesnt play wit neatness... i hail her for that.. but sexual adventure dropped way down.. women really really needs to step up... they feel to relax especially when they notice there hubby doesnt have the tendency of cheating... so they fear not...

Exactly!

Fynchi:
u are d one who's trying to twist things here no emotions from my side. if u think men are the only ones who cheat in marriages then you're on a long thing. my sister's husband cheated on her with three married women simultaneously.

I acknowledge that many men cheat. I am not in support of cheating. However, what about diligent men whose backs are against the wall thanks to their wives' lackadaisical attitude?

as a marriage therapist let her be balanced in her advice. some guys wear one boxers for one week, don't shelve or even brush. a woman with such man should cheat?

She has the right to pick her topic of focus. Her focus was on dirty women. To know if her views are balanced, ask her what are take is on dirty husbands. Because she targeted dirty women alone doesn't mean she has given dirty men a free pass.

see my dear in a relationship if u want it to work , always tell ur partner what u don't like and assist them to be better, that's Love. there's no way u can justify cheating in a relationship.

I perfectly agree. Cheating is wrong.

psychology says that one who truly loves his/her partner will always do everything not to hurt them no the circumstances.

True in many cases.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Fynchi:
a woman shouldn't take care of herself and personal hygiene because she wants to appease a man. that is my stand. secondly, a cheat is always a cheat no matter what you do to remain attractive to him. I am not a feminist but I stand on the truth. don't insult me unless if u don't want me to Tontodike u. Shalom.

Lol. Your emotions are making you argue off point and misinterprete the words of the therapist. A cheat is a cheat, yes I know but certain diligent men are pushed against the wall by their wives' lackadaisical attitude after marriage. The therapist was simply trying to warn such married women that they could lose their husbands if they didn't sit up. Everyone knows a good hygiene is good but some need some motivation and warnings to change.

However you want to see it, the therapist is not saying you should be clean to impress your man, she is simply pointing out how lazy and dirty ladies could be jeopardising marriage. What she said is a reality. Your emotions are running way ahead of you that why you are seeing servitude of females towards males even when it doesn't exist.

NB: I agree with the bold words. Hygiene should be done for the sake of it but pointing out how lack of it can destroy certain parts of your life is not a bad thing. Free the therapist joor. What she said is the reason why marriages have cracked. She is on point. I don't why you, Saffi and CruellaDeVil are getting so worked up.

Dear broke boys of nairaland, if this news and the news of the relationship between Regina Daniels and Ned Nwoko does not tell you that your fine face and build are irrelevant without money then you can't be helped.

Fynchi:
has any woman forced money out from your pocket before? a woman is a human being let us all respect ourselves. whatever you want in life give it out.

A woman is a human being therefore she should relax after marriage and be poor in hygiene and indifferent towards her appearance? The therapist wasn't saying that the world revolves around men, instead she was advising married women to sit up and she pointed out the consequences it could have on their marriage if they didn't sit up. That's just it.

The therapist is spot on. Body no be firewood when you chase your husband away with your repulsive attitude and the sexual urge is killing him, what do you expect? Instead of you feminists to reason and cast your ego aside, you see male superiority and favouritism even when it doesn't exist and no one cares. It is until when reality hits you hard that you start crying "all men are scums." As I have said, the therapist is spot on.

lilyheaven:
Ladies don't wear pants these days let alone two weeks.

SOME LADIES.

If she says she doesn't date broke men, tell her you don't date broke women. Equality for all.

lilyheaven:
A big fat lie

A big fat truth.

Saffi:
Why did she have to bring husbands into the picture? Why can’t she just focus on the message of women taking care of themselves for them. Everything always has to fall back on a man, or doing something so a man won’t do this or that or this. Do men do anything to impress women or their wives? Ah beg please just leave me.

Lol. Merely saying that women should keep a good hygiene doesn't motivate all to keep a good hygiene. We know that a good hygiene is wise but not all keep a good hygiene. She was simply trying to point out the consequences of poor hygiene and indifference towards appearance on the marriage of many women. Just as a man musts play his part to be desirable to his wife, the wife must play her part and be desirable to her man. She was only focusing on women. As a wife, it's in your best interest to make yourself desirable to your husband. If you like keep raising your shoulder and be doing feminism, when this reality hits you, your eye go clear. What the woman said is spot on.

Not only the poor hygiene and indifference towards their appearance, many start getting fat. How can I marry a model and she turns into a land whale after marriage? We go fight o.

Saffi:
I just wish some women will have sense. Everything in this life has to be done to impress a man, to keep a man blah blah blah. Is it not the same men that sleep with dogs and goats in this world to cure konji? What makes you think wearing ordinary g string will stop a man from cheating. Ahbeeeeeeeeeeeeeggggggggggiiiiiiii

Who the hell cares?

She didn't say you should live your life to impress a man. She is simply referring to married women who make themselves undesirable and then expect their husband to not look elsewhere. A woman with a poor hygiene is undesirable and that's a fact.

Fynchi:
the world does not revolve around men only. I hate women who talk rubbish talk. women were not created to entertain men.

Were men created to spend money on women?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
You didn't mention guys and their dirty boxers.

Some wear one boxers for 4 days straight! Seems they forget the Anus rubs shii on that fabric

She is focusing on dirty ladies, let's not leave the rice we eating and start looking for beans.

vVera:
Even if some ladies start dressing like Beyonce, a cheat will always look for excuse to cheat, he might even cheat on her with a dirty beans seller.

She didn't say all men who cheat do it because their wives "relaxed." She is giving a reason why some men go look elsewhere. They didn't want to cheat but the lackadaisical attitude of some women after marriage pushed them to.

demo4ril97:
I believe my story will turn out great, and if it does soon I will forever grateful.

Never lose hope just keep using the appropriate strategy you too will be great someday.

It might turn out great, it might not. However, keep hustle so that if opportunity comes, you will not miss.

Aieboocaar:
Its obvious Op hasn't seen POWER yet

If you call GOT soft porn i wonder what you'll say about Power

Have you watched Jamaica Mafia?

maxwell530:
you just won't admit Ronaldo started playing football 2 years before Messi regardless of playing position.messi also didn't kick-start his Barcelona career as an attacker but a midfielder too cuz Barça had the likes of saviola, giully, Etoo, gudjohnsen as their main forwards Messi always come in for either Deco or giully,so Messi was not totally a supporting striker as you claimed... He was more of an attacking midfielder (AMF) I have said it in my previous post, these 2 guys goals doesn't have anything to do with their positions on the field but pure talent and ability to think fast when on the ball and I think that makes them better than the rest. If you still think Messi is scoring more because he plays more advanced upfront than Ronaldo then it means Henry, Ronaldo delima should also score more than cr7 because they play close to the goal than any other players.

Just appreciate Beauty when you see one.

Messi started as a right winger with Eto'o as the center forward. In Messi's first break through season in the 2008/09 season at the age of 20/21, Messi started shifting between a false 9 and left wing. Sometimes, he played as a CF. These and the fact that he was in the best team in the world with world class stars (Xavi, Iniesta, Eto'o, Ibrahimovic, Henry, David Villa, Puyol, Busquet, Pedro, Dani Alves etc.) and a good coach that built the team around Messi put Messi on the score sheet easily. When Ibrahimovic came and was scoring all the goals, Messi wasn't happy. He told Guardiola that either Ibrahimovic goes to the wing and he plays CF or he will not play again. This lead to Ibrahimovic exit from Barcelona because Ibrahimovic complained.

So from 2008/09 till now, Messi had three positions that made him score readily : 1) CF 2) False 9(where he can also play as an attacking midfielder and provide superb assists) & 3) right wing(where he would cut, dribble mercilessly and shot). Against Arsenal in 2011 at the Emirates, Messi played CF while David Villa got the left wing. Check it out for yourself. In early 2011/12 season, Messi played as a CF during which he was always lobbing the ball over the keeper. Guardiola favoured Messi and would put Messi where Messi liked even if it means sacrificing players. Since Suarez came, Messi either plays right wing or assist as a forward or false 9. Ronaldo started as a winger for united not as a midfielder as the other guy claims. He played as a winger for quite a while as Vanisterooy, Rooney and Saha dominated the striking position. Ronaldo started getting some attacking roles in the 2006/07 season but they were very few. He frequented the attacking role in the 2008/09 season and even played as a CF in the 2009 ucl final. These periods saw him score very well. When he moved to Madrid, he took on the role of a left wing full time from 2009 - 2015 at Real Madrid.

In his first seasons at Madrid, Barcelona and Messi were on top of the world, miles ahead of Madrid in tactical superiority and squad and Madrid where still playing catch up. Despite being a winger (which made it relatively difficult to score) and these constraints, Ronaldo still rolled in fantastic stats that's why I respect him. Around 2016 Ronaldo started playing in the box because he wasn't getting any younger and he needed to conserve energy. His play requires energy and physical strength. If we judge from both players' break through periods, you will observe that Ronaldo stats and goal ratios improve. Ronaldo started at 2007/08 at the age of 21/22 while Messi started at 2008/09 at 20/21 with the world best Barcelona. All in all, Messi is still the best. He might have had a team with a greater football philosophy, squad and tactical superiority but he is still the best. If you subtract Messi from barca, you get Atletico Madrid but if you subtract Ronaldo from Madrid, you get Villarreal.

If you analyse both Players and their magic, you would say Messi and Ronaldo are gods but Messi is the greater god. Even if Ronaldo weren't limited in his first seasons at Madrid, Messi would still have the edge. I am a Messi fan but just had to give an unbiased analysis.

adegeye38:
Ronaldo allround complete goat indeed

Ronaldo is a tapin merchant, that relied on good player to give hom ball, na heading and penalty hin dey score dis days nw

Messi is a
1. Better scorer #fact, no one has score more than him for the past 11 yrs, has a better goat ration dan ronaldo

2. Better dribbler

3. Better passer, playmer and assist

4. Awesome Free kick taker ronaldo has not scored a freekick in club since 2 yrs ago

Messi also read the game better

It is stupidity to think any player in history is close to messi in terms of footbaling ability not to talk of better

Messi is the greatest. The only players I know that were roughly on the same level as Messi in terms of talent were Delima Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, George Best, Pele and Diego Maradona. George Best and Maradona played exactly like Messi. Apart from Pele, Messi surpasses all of them in achievements since injury and personal lifestyles destroyed them. The one that is paining me pass is Ronaldinho. I really loved that dude and wished he took the game seriously so we could see his full potential. Messi is better than Pele. Messi is the greatest.

Sellfish:
Are you stupid Sir?

What's with all the insults?....

I have made my points without abusing you....or do you think cursing will make your garbage sound better?

I didn't insult you. You were simply talking like an idi0t and I pointed that out. Goodnight.

ThierryJay:
Lol, what a lame excuse! Even the excuse is a fallacy. For your information, CR7 started playing as a false 9, or winging striker, whatever you may call it, from the 2007/2008 season when he scored 42 goals. Many of the goals were from striking positions. So it was only for 4 seasons he played as a proper winger.

Funny enough, Messi started playing as a false 9 from the 6-2 win against RMadrid in 2008/2009 season. So he even started his striking duties almost 2 seasons after CR7.

Pls be guided bro!

but in 2010 - 2015, Ronaldo played as pure winger yet he still got the goals. It was after this period that he started playing as a striker because he wasn't getting any younger and he needed to conserve energy. His game uses a lot of physical strength. Nevertheless, how ever you want to argue MESSI IS BETTER THAN RONALDO. Messi EFFORTLESSLY produces excellence and magic.

eyizlive:
Say whatever you like we lost but all barca fans can brag now and act like they have a team without messi...all of us go dey hear dey watch barca match when messi don retire, thank God that cheat is 30 yrs plus...he no go tey again.

When you Liverpool fans were bragging, you didn't remember that Barcelona is nothing without Messi. Go sleep.

Mrshape:
Show your workings sir
Or is it coordinate geometry you used?

I will do it later. I didn't use coordinate geometry just simple calculations.

Sellfish:
You have made your point Sir

Of course I have.

But I will rather be handsome and not very rich than very rich and ugly and sickly looking like Nwoko.....The man himself is even so ashamed of his own appearance that he married gorgeous women so that at least his kids will have a chance not to look like their lizard-like daddy...

This is pure nonsense. You are thinking like an idi0t. So if an old man marries a gorgeous woman, it means that he is ashamed of his appearance? Seriously? Did you read what you typed? So he should settle for less to prove that he is not ashamed of his appearance? SMH. How do you even know that he is ashamed?

Nwoko worked hard to get rich and then spends the money on mitigating his physical deficit....Do you know how hard he has to work to keep all those fine wives of his happy?

Who told you he is trying to mitigate physical deficit? What are his physical defecits? You really need to grow up. Girls don't care about appearance, all they want is the money. His wives don't care as long as he is rich.

But a handsome boy straight from the womb has no burden of mitigating any physical appearance deficit....If he gets rich, he doesn't need to spend his money getting women to birth him presentable offspring...

You seriously need to grow up. Girls don't care. As long as you have the money, that's it.

Money is good Yes....but never underestimate a fine face

Lol. SMH. If you are not a model, actor or the face of a brand, your fine face is not useful. Girl don't go by fine face but by money.

Making money is not a achievement...it is what you do with the money that's the achievement....Bought love can never be as lasting and true as love given freely

keep playing yourself. True love, just like true friendship, doesn't exist. Girls go for the money whether you like it or not. They don't care about your fine face. You need to grow up.

Your post is laden with immaturity, stupid and naivety.

[quote author=Sellfish post=78026897]You have made your point Sir

But I will rather be handsome and not very rich than very rich and ugly and sickly looking like Nwoko.....The man himself is even so ashamed of his own appearance that he married gorgeous women so that at least his kids will have a chance not to look like their lizard-like daddy...

This is pure nonsense. You are thinking like an idi0t. So if an old man marries a gorgeous woman, it means that he is ashamed of his appearance? Seriously? Did you read what you typed? So he should settle for less to prove that he is not ashamed of his appearance? SMH. How do you even know that he is ashamed?

Nwoko worked hard to get rich and then spends the money on mitigating his physical deficit....Do you know how hard he has to work to keep all those fine wives of his happy?

Who told you he is trying to mitigate physical deficit? What are his physical defecits? You really need to grow up. Girls don't care about appearance, all they want is the money. His wives don't care as long as he is rich.

But a handsome boy straight from the womb has no burden of mitigating any physical appearance deficit....If he gets rich, he doesn't need to spend his money getting women to birth him presentable offspring...

You seriously need to grow up. Girls don't care. As long as you have the money, that's it.

Money is good Yes....but never underestimate a fine face

Lol. SMH. If you are not a model, actor or the face of a brand, your fine face is not useful. Girl don't go by fine face but by money.

Making money is not a achievement...it is what you do with the money that's the achievement....Bought love can never be as lasting and true as love given freely

keep playing yourself. True love, just like true friendship, doesn't exist. Girls go for the money whether you like it or not. They don't care about your fine face. You need to grow up.

Frankhace:
No be small yeye dem go ball from August to may still go house go open empty dusty and cockroach ridden cabinet

Don't mind them. Upon everything, they will always be among trophiless teams. Yeye club.

rottennaija:

Lol. I am a Messi fan. I said the truth. Refute anything I wrote.

Frezhkid10:
....it's nothing to argue....everyone that watched the game congratulated us for being able to pin down for 30mins in camp nou...A feat man utd can never achieve in 20yrs to come..

Lol. Keep deceiving yourself. You guys achieved nothing tangible this night. Lick your wounds and sleep. I wonder who congratulated you. Anyone that congratuled Liverpool can congratulate someone that got 9 F9s in WAEC. Yeye team.