₦airaland Forum

Korllami007:
LOL.
See how they blame the op for the ungratefulness and arrogance of her wife and turn his wife to angel and turn him to devil despite explaining in the 2nd or 3rd page that he didnt treat his wife bad and he also open joint account with his wife when everything was going well for him.

They will keep pinning the blame on the op no matter what. You will just keep hearing "do you know how men maltreat their wives when they were the breadwinner?" or they keep asking "how did you treat your wife when you were the breadwinner?", "are you sure you didn't maltreat your wife when you were the breadwinner?" etc. despite all his explanations. No matter what, to them it's never the wife's fault and the op must have done something. According to these bimbos, nagging is "the wife just trying to be heard". Nothing wey musa no go see for gate. If strungup79 wants to keep explaining himself to them, na him sabi.

Korllami007:
At bolded.
When someone said most women here are replica of your wife and you should stop explaining to them, you thought he was joking.

Don't mind him. I know these girls very well.

youngestgrad:
I just read through most of the comments on this thread, I have come to the conclusion that majority of the females of this generation are ice-cold with no comparison with women ( our mothers) of the past generation. To them getting Married is a means out of poverty or the desire to check a box in the " Single or Married" option.
Single and Free!!

Women are very heartless and cold in their scheme. #singleandfree

Kennedyiheme:
men are the kindess amongst both genders... i tell men who want to get married in these time of civilisation that they are only setting traps for themselves... if any man knows what is good.. dont get married.. american men have it bworse.. alimony and child support wan kill them for there

Lol. As long as they are stupid enough to get married, let no one pity them when they are forced to pay exorbitant amounts in child support and alimony.

uninspired07:
OP, please don’t take relationship/marital advice from women. They will only seek to manipulate you to their advantage. They can never be objective & altruistic.

Just look for a way to bounce back & take care of your kids. As for your wife, I will leave you to take the decision you feel fit. Just concentrate on getting your business going.

GBAM! I am surprised that strungup79 is still replying those women. Whether you like it or not, it's a mistake to look up to women for relationship advice. Their argument and advice are always misleading. They will always twist things in favour of women because when you complain or bring issues about a woman to them, they put themselves in the woman's shoe and argue selfishly. They argue like that because the advice they give is what they would want their boyfriends/husbands to follow if they were in the woman's shoes. Very cold-hearted creatures. Watch how they are advising and chatting strungup79 like he is at fault and he just over assuming.

Kennedyiheme:
Men this isna warning, we can all see by the response from the feminists on this thread.... thats why nature didn't put power in hands of women, they are bitter pysopaths that cant handle small power... op the trust me, forget that marriage, the best thing you'll do to hurt her is getting a divorce... a rich woman without a husband is useless... even when you get your finances back ,would you want to live with a bitter woman?... bro leave that house now, that woman can kill you while you sleep

Women are always the same. Here is a similar thread and the responses from ladies were the same

https://www.nairaland.com/3896004/lost-job-now-losing-dignity

strungup79:
When I married my wife she had nothing. I gave all for her. I fought my parents to marry her. I never bossed her or bullied her. I think you misunderstand the whole situation. I'm not bothered by your vituperations. I just don't want to tow the part you are pushing for cos someone will get hurt. My intuition tells me it won't be me.

Stop explaining yourself to the silly girls here. They will relentlessly spin everything against men and demonise men to justify their toxicity, selfishness, and bitterness towards men. Nothing you say will ever make sense and they can't be reasoned with. Leave them. They are all like your wife. Even if you treated your wife well in the past, they will put all the blame on you and ignore your wife's terrible behaviour.

Read this thread below and realise that you are not the only one who have been through what you are facing. This was opened a long time ago.

https://www.nairaland.com/3896004/lost-job-now-losing-dignity

midnighter:
I knew you would say that. But thats not the point. Do you acknowledge the validity of my counter-argument, or not?

Or did all the hundreds of studies and articles that document discrimination against female doctors somehow bypass your biased eyeballs

Where are these studies? Post links and let me scrutinise them. There is no discrimination against female doctors. I am amazed at the extent to which women can manufacture a nonexistent supposed oppression of them. SMH.

By the way, does timetabling and workplace schedule always automatically take into account that a woman has domestic, maternity or childcare commitments?

This is an utterly stupid thing to say.

Do cars and seatbelts that have been tested on male models adequately provide the same insurance against injury for women during an accident?

How privileged and troubled free one must be to consider this their headache. So this is what is holding women back? I am amazed at how you can manufacture nonexistent problems that proves male privilege/patriarchy. Cars are designed for both men and women and for their safety. Forget about the studies I asked you to bring since this is the last time I would exchange you on this thread. You are not to be taken seriously.

If you would stop to consider, your posts would make sense but you are extreme to the point of illogicality. It helps no-one and it makes it difficult to see your posts as anything more than bitter, cantankerous rambling!

midnighter:
Your argument is illogical and you are being insincere, which is subtracting from your point.

That a system may not intentionally have been built to make things easier for men does not mean that it does not inherently disadvantage women. A system could neutrally favour one group over another; does it mean the latter should keep quiet?

This bias and posturing is the problem with extremists. And this thread is full of extremists.

Mention ways in which YOU are disadvantaged. Also mention ways in which the system has neutrally put women at a disadvantage.

Kekereekun123:
my dad was one of MKOs trusted staff before he went to set up us own business in the 80s. One of MKO's wife came for my naming ceremony self. My father has only one house he built in 1992. He so much believed in helping people. By 2010 when my mama came back to nigeria. She bought a jeep of 4m while my father has no car lol( in 2001 he had 2 cars and a bus).She later built duplex and moved there . Same man wey buy her benz in 1998 hahahahaha. I have learnt the hard way. I only date working class ladies. Once you ask me for money for tfare, hair or uber its over . The last one i dated earns 276k in a bank as an assistant banking officer but was asking for uber money.

Hahahahaha. Girls will always try to make a maga out of you, it's left for you not to fall for them.

Sterope:
I have heard. My advice to you is that don't be poor.

Unwelcomed and irrelevant advice that has nothing to do with the discussion. I am disappointed in you because I expected an excellent shaming tactic not this. I am disappointed, perhaps you can give it another shot.

Michellekabod2:
Its the preconceived notion of men. Those bashing him are without proof he wronged his wife in any way,they just had to use the general notion of women suffering bullshit in marriáge. That's straw man creation. The plight of the OP and his marriage is ignored to throw darts on him for an "assumed " bad character on his part.

Thanks for your honesty. They built that narrative to excuse the wife's behaviour and make it seem like what the wife is doing is no big deal since the man mistreated his wife too and the equation is balanced. Women are not suffering in marriages. Go to anywhere the husband is wealthy and is the breadwinner and you will see that his family benefits from his wealth. This is not the case when the woman is on top. When the woman is on top, the op's case is what happens.

Kekereekun123:
same thing happened to by father. But he is not without blame. He never took advices my mother gave e.g build a school, build houses for rent. Stop father chrismas. My father was the largest donor to our church building project, he sponsored many inlaws and siblings in school and abroad , encouraged an apprentice that used to repair our lister generator to go to school and sponsored him. His driver built house in ota with his assistance. He believed givers never lacked. At the turn of the century technology made his business obsolete. Every other business he tried all failed or was duped till he became broke. Those who built schools were already cashing in my mum used to tell him. My mum would later go to hustle abroad she used his usa account. He took 4000 usd from her money . Still could not get back on his feet. To pay our school fees na beg we beg tire as she said its our papa duty. By the time by mum came back to nigeria after 9 years she don build 3 houses (12 flats) and started a thriving business. My dad also went to usa for 3 year could not hustle like my mama. Had to come back. We sha rough am. My mama later begin dey do the needful to us but not to my father. Today our last born twins don graduate. My mother is still a big madam while my father na me and my big bro dey send am 70k combined monthly.

The effect of this in my life is i dont trust any woman with money. Any woman wey no fit spend on me freely is not a wife.

No offence but your dad was not so bright. Givers never lack, who does that? In a world where someone is supposed to acquire resources for himself and family, secure his wealth and leave inheritance for his children, he carry am dey do givers never lack.

I am not surprised that when you people went to your mom for help, she refused and asked you people to go meet your father. A lot of women do this. A friend of my mum was doing the same thing too but recently, she has started opening up to her after the children have suffered. The husband? The dude is a poor walking corpse. I am sure your father doesn't benefit from your mum's wealth, am I wrong?

Sterope:
You failed to mention how these men enslave their wives and kids when he is the brradwinner. The only reason they respect him is because of his ability to provide. You also failed to tell us how some of these men become just a mere figurehead in the house.

Would you in all sincerity marry a partner that does absolutely nothing in the house? A woman that does not have a job would at the barest minimum ensure the house is running smoothly. What would most egotistical men in that position do? Nothing!!! Having a penis is not an excuse for irresponsibility. A man has to be responsible in the home. If he cannot provide, he can at least find other ways to be responsible.

Many good women with good husbands will gladly have their husbands back when the chips are down. It is a given!

Stop deceiving yourself. Don't try to put men in the same box with women in this regard to balance the equation. When men are breadwinners, they do not enslave their wives instead their family benefits from their wealth. When women are breadwinners, the husband suffers, the husband gets disrespected, and the husband gets sidelined. The op did not enslave his wife. He treated her well and all he gets in return is to be sidelined, disrespected, and have his children turned against him. You didn't mention this or acknowledge the fact that men can face hard times instead you thought up that men enslave their wives when they are breadwinners and do nothing when broke so therefore everything is balanced. Even if men enslaved their wives, does the innocent op who didn't enslave his wife deserve what he is getting?

Who told you that he is not responsible?

"A man has to be responsible in the home. If he cannot provide, he can at least find other ways to be responsible."

In what other way can he be responsible? Keep beating about the bush. You, just funmisticqueen, is try to make it seem like it's the man's fault that his wife is a horrible individual. Of course, it's never the woman's fault. You and I know that as long as his money is gone, his wife will keep on treating him this way even if he "... at least find other ways to be responsible." Be deceiving yourself.

funmisticqueen:
That's is the US and first world country struggles are not my struggles. I wish that every woman will attain financial independence

Lol. This statement doesn't make sense. I was only trying to show that the victim mentality you are displaying is a global phenomenon that is why I mentioned USA. Also, I wanted to show that even if women are liberated and give equal rights and opportunities as men, they will still cry victim.

There is nothing holding women back and there is no structure in place to make things easier for men. Everyone, men and women, must work and earn. Even you yourself are a doctor, isn't that equal rights and opportunities? Didn't you earn your MBBS in the same way men did? Was there any structure put in place to make things harder for females or pay them less? Even in your class, aren't there boys that were withdrawn after failing in med school? Where is the male privilege you are talking about? You are liberated enough to lead the life you want yet you cry patriarchy and embrace victimhood.

Michellekabod2:
funmisticqueen ain't a feminist,so don't drag feminism into this

As I have said before, classical feminists like you won't be used to judge what feminism is today. Misandrists are the major players in the feminist movement and they are here to stay until men wake up. As long as they are major players, people will inevitably see feminism as a misandric machination. It blows down to the fact that actions speaks louder than words. Besides, the unfair advantages and laws contemporary feminists fought for are secretly enjoyed by all women even if they claim otherwise. No woman in the US (be it classical feminist, contemporary feminist, or traditional) has ever vigorously protested against the unfair divorce laws and child support laws. If we have such laws in Nigeria, this would be the same thing.

So don't be annoyed, as long as these misandrists are the overwhelming majority, feminism will always be seen as a misandric machination.

LINTUNE:
like I said,not all,definitely there will be exceptions

When you find that exception, let me know. Never conclude upon a woman's character by her behaviour and demeanour in public when everyone is watching. The girl (or wife in public with her husband) is usually different from the one in private. Good day.

Michellekabod2:
happy new year! Don't get me wrong ,was not judging you for your stance of not choosing to neutral,that's your choice,I respect that. I personally am an egalitarian, putting humanity first before gender,race ,tribe or belief. I only told martinez39 you are pro-woman because he mentioned you ,I told him not to be so expectant on you to give the sort of counsel he may have expected
You don't have to not get along with ladies,because ladies are amazing people. I said what I sad because I follow you and you make misandrists posts and your judgement most times are influenced by gender. I think you supported a lady that cheated on her husband by sleeping with her gym instructor when just days before the thread you said made a comment of there being no excuse for a cheating man(correct me if I am wrong on this)....or today when you made fun of a sperm donor penis,and many others. I don't see a any difference between you and ubunja.
But its a matter of choice

I don't force people to take an egalitarian stance,its fine to be a pro-man /pro-woman ,I just tell advice seekers to be wary of gender based advice that blind people from truth,it obstructs undiluted counsel.

You also forgot that funmisticqueen once opened a thread advising women to cut of the d!ck of their cheating husbands, poison them slowly, or go diabolical. She is really a horrible person. Don't be fooled by her posts that give excuses or explain away her toxicity and SHE IS PRO-WOMAN EVEN IN MISANDRIC PROPORTIONS. To further buttress my point on the victim mentality and solipsism of modern women, here is an excerpt from her reply to you :

merely told op to prove himself to be a leader and a contributor to his marriage and stop wallowing in self pity, but all men chose to see my comments as insults. Contribution is not only financial. We live in a patriarchy. Men already have so much going for them. To whom much is given, much is expected. But these millennial men are disappointing.

What patriarchy? The same old feminist bullcrap used to justify their victim mentality. They erroneously purport that men have more privileges, men own the world, and things are somehow structured to make things more difficult for women. This same victim mentality peculiar to contemporary feminists is a global phenomenon. In the US where women are pampered and given free privileges, they still complain of the nonexistent patriarchy, nonexistent rape culture, and nonexistent female oppression.

Funmisticqueen knows that women and men have equal rights and opportunities and that comes with equal responsibilities but she is having none of that. Any argument that absolves a woman of responsibility, place the man as a provider, and doesn't support a woman making financial sacrifices for her husband will do for her even if the argument is invalid. The woman must always receive and millennial men are disappointing because they don't want to be women's ATM machines. Patriarchy my ass that funmisticqueen has equal rights and opportunities and she is a doctor.

"We live in a patriarchy. Men already have so much going for them." Trash!

LINTUNE:
dude just ignore her,not all women are like her ..have got lots of female friends and I know what I'm saying ,just leave that bitter woman..don't generalize her perceptions to all women OK

Lol. You are sure your female friends are not like that? Women have a Dr Jekyll-Mrs. Hyde personality. The version you see is the one they present.

IAmSabrina:
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE

HAPPY INTERSUBJECTIVE NEW YEAR.


#deactivateyourmoniker

Michellekabod2:
I didn't say you were woman hating,not you. I suspected some people may try to take the sides of their gender as its common with gender bigots on this forum. Men supporting men,women supporting women,so I adviced he be wary of the advice he receives.

And also you are generalising which ain't true,not at all cases will women behave that way

All women will behave that way. Men are nothing but utility to women. I agree with you that a woman too can be a bread winner after all, having equal rights and opportunities as men comes with equal responsibilities as well but women selfishly disregard this put all the responsibility and, where applicable, blame on men. Women want equal rights and opportunities yet no responsibilities so that they can have it easy. Not only does selfishness play a role in this, men's ego are to be blamed as well. Men, despite supporting equal rights and opportunities which comes with equal opportunities, foolishly massage their ego by being "real men" (men who can comfortably be a woman's ATM machine) and not demanding money from a woman. Given how both mentalities are suitable for each other, why won't have women behaving like this?

Michellekabod2:
I didn't say you were woman hating,not you. I suspected some people may try to take the sides of their gender as its common with gender bigots on this forum. Men supporting men,women supporting women,so I adviced he be wary of the advice he receives.

And also you are generalising which ain't true,not at all cases will women behave that way

All women will behave that way. Men are nothing but utility to women. I agree with you that a woman too can be a bread winner after all, having equal rights and opportunities as men comes with equal responsibilities as well but women selfishly disregard this put all the responsibility and, where applicable, blame on men.

strungup79:
I'm not engulfed in self pity, I never do. I just want to fix my family.

Don't mind the heartless women here. Ignore them. They are just like your wife.

@Michellekabod2

What I said is the truth, there is no woman-hating here. The guy was living in peace with his wife and willing to share even creating a joint account. Once the woman became better financially, did she support her husband? NO! Did she respect him? NO! Did she recognise that they are family unit and she ought to carry her husband along instead of sidelining him and going to the family members? NO! Was it necessary to turn the children against him? NO! It just goes to sure how cold a woman can be. She never carried the husband along; started opening account in secret and purchasing properties in secret; never involving the man in anything instead she sidelined him and went to family members behind his back. She is treating him like, in funmisticqueen's word, an appendix.

The sacrifices and love a man puts into his relationship when he is the breadwinner can't be reciprocated, in anyway, when a woman is the breadwinner. A man can be liberal with his time and money when he is the bread winner, but a woman can never be liberal with her money once she becomes the breadwinner and her husband hits hard times. In such situation, any money given to the husband no matter how little must be paid back and if he delays, nagging and fighting results. Even during an argument, the wife will bring up the fact that he is broke and she is the one providing even if it is unrelated to the argument. This is the nature of women. To give out their cash to sacrifice for the husband is living sucking the life force out of them and the husband, to them, is to be the work horse providing generously for everyone even if she can't reciprocate.

Cc. Strungup79

marvelous000:
You're really a terrible person.

Amaechi2023:
You don't sounds like someone who's going to be a responsible wife. The way u said uncle go and hustle summarizes you

That is how all women behave when you are not useful in the providing department.

funmisticqueen:
look how you twist my words around to satisfy your delusions of grandeur and push your narrative my using other words apart from what I wrote.

Nothing you say makes any sense.
With you, cat is dog and black is white,
salt is sugar and water is blood.

If you all want to drink the wine of your tears and snot, go on ahead and drown your sorrows in the pity and mockery of your brethren. I bid you happy new year

I did not twist your words. I used your post to illustrate the truth. Happy New Year.

owowa145:
Trust me, the woman has co-conspired with key person in her family to go spiritual with d man to become d woman in d house. He needs divine intervention. His downturn ain't normal.

There is nothing spiritual here, the man is going through tough times. It's not unusual. Don't spiritualize anything. No one is too special that the universe owes it to them not to go through hard times.

funmisticqueen:
Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.

Guys, note this:
PARAGRAPH 1: This is how women see you as a man. They see you as a utility. Once you can't provide, you are like a phone spoilt beyond repair. This is the cold truth. "You are just like an appendix in your marriage."

PARAGRAPH 2: This is just senseless rambling to insinuate that it isn't really the woman's fault. Note, women will always blame someone else for their bad behaviour. She is giving him false hope that he can still do something to save the situation but, in line with the aim of this rambling, she is covering up the fact that the man can't get the love of his wife without money. No money, no love. Also, notice how she implied that the man is supposed to provide and the wife is "covering up his slack". This is women for you. The financial sacrifices you make for the family is okay but the one a woman makes is "covering up the slack of the man". Your money is our money, my money is mine mindset. Despite having equal rights and opportunities as men, they think it odd that they should take on equal responsibility at any time.

PARAGRAPH 3: Further nonsensical rambling to hide the fact that it not about the money. This advice is ironic because to do these things to win back the wife, he needs money. So we all come to the same point — no money, no love.

Notice how she never blamed the wife for turning the kids against the man, an act that was unnecessary and cruel. Notice how she never said that marriage is supposed to a union where both individuals support each other through thick and thin and the wife is supposed to be helpful. It's always the man's fault — he is indulging in self pity and laziness. Guys, if you still think there is a NAWALT out there, you will suffer. Truth.

Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

Iloveu2:
THE TOP 20 PEOPLE WHO SPEND THEIR PRODUCTIVE LIFE ON NAIRALAND MOSTLY SPILLING TRASH MOST ESPECIALLY THAT MRCORK .

Lilwetd!ck, is that you? Just asking *coughs*

Jodha:
A broke guy is a jobless dumb lazy motherfaqker...

I feel your pain.

ericsmith:
lol ! i won't call that statement a blasphemy cos its just an opinion ..take one insightful look @ life n tell there is no regulation... the day gives way to d night, rain comes dryness exit ... religion asides study nature on discovery, who told sun to give way for d moon,harmattan for rain. i can go on n on.

Really? Day and night are natural phenomena. Both can't occur at the same time and one must give way for the other. Day and night is due to the rotation of the earth about it's axis. What do these have to do with god?

"who told sun to give way for d moon?"
Why does it have to be a WHO? Why don't you study gravity and the movement of celestial bodies? You need to educate your self on these.