₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
Marxxxyyyyy! Glad to know you're good! Happy Sunday to you!

Thank you!

Scholar94:
Lol..seems no one know Mr @Marxxx whereabouts..If.

People do know...trust me when I say so.

Gerrard59:
Actually, it is a Nlder's moniker. Search it and ask. I wager that she should have an idea of his whereabouts.

#JustSaying

... Really? you are quite confident about your conviction, I like that.

jashar:
Oh wow... Who knows how we can reach Marxxx?

I miss him o

Hello! I am here, I trust you are good? Happy new week! I did miss you too

och12:
Hello @marxxx, how are you doing?

Hi thanks for checking, I am OK. I trust you are good too? Happy new week!

KOPT55:
I lived with my aunt and her husband in Lagos. I left Enugu to come and live with them at the age of 14. After two, I was tired of all the abuses, name calling and emotional torture I was constantly subjected to so I ran away from their house at the age of 16.

That's one the things I regret now. If I'd known, I would have endured a bit more. I would have taken the abuse until I gained admission into the University.

I feel like leaving their house robbed me of so many opportunities. I couldn't even go back to my parents because my father died while I was living with them and my mom, a stay at home mom, could well not have taken care of my school fees and sustenance.

That's how I started living in the streets, living with friends, getting kicked out of their house and sometimes even sleeping outside in the cold and rain for six years.

Today, things are much better for me but I do wish I never ran.

No Regrets!!! It was a decision you took...forget about the rest...stay strong...y' re better are better than a lot. You have good health, strength and other youthful attributes cherish it...some people crave it

Funny!!! I had issues with my master (I was an apprentice) I left his place, on getting home I was told my brothers were already waiting for me at home and they had promised to beat the hell out of me...When I got the News, I turned back and went straight to mission (church)...A decision that did change my life forever.

Simiolu1, I have posted myriad number of questions for you. I trust you will do justice to it. I am looking forward to reading your lengthy responses to those questions.

sisisioge:
Hello Marxxx, its really nice to know your are winning here...well done. May God continue to strengthen you.

Thank you for the kind words. I trust you had a great weekend. Take care...

mamziii:
hiv, genotype and hepatitis

ok...

jashar:
Darling Marxxx... So good to hear from you...How's your treatment? Your sis and niece nko?
I'm good oooo... I'm rounding up from school... Writing my project (I'm stuck though), so I'm grateful for the ASUU strike . I'm starting a new place of work tomorrow.... Wish me well

I sure would like to talk with you sometime soon...

Ah...me no dey follow NL contests oooo....

Take care sweetie....

Everyone is doing just fine and I am not doing badly myself...lol @ "stuck on project"...congrats on your new job. I wish you success.

simiolu1:
Op, I admire your strength; these type of questions are not easy for people to answer as it makes you see life and marriage from another point of view.

I am SC (a rare mutation of the SS genotype) and I used to have episodes a lot. Got addicted to pain killers at some point but stopped because I had ulcer (I no wan die as a small boy na). I used to be secretive about my condition but I told the girl I was dating then in school. I remember one night; I couldn't sleep because my spine was aching. She called me because of Xtracool but ended up singing to me for close to one hour (she had a damned good voice). That is the only time in my adult life that I ever cried to a gf. The pain, the songs and the love just made me loose it. She woke up her mum to pray for me too. Interesting thing is my elder brother left the mattress for me to sleep on the floor because I was just writhing in pain and disturbing his sleep.

After that episode, I made up my mind never to tell or call her during another episode. It wasn't just fair mehn. So right now before things get serious between any lady and I; I ask for their genotype and talk about my medical history too. Most don't know about the existence of SC or even AC so I just go ahead and give them the lecture.

However, I can't marry someone with a terminal illness or HIV; but if the illness starts after we get married, we'll face it together (though I pray this doesn't happen). I also can't marry someone who is not AA. I'm not going to inflict the pain of being SC on any of my offspring.

Thanks for sharing your experience. How are you coping presently? Did you go for surgery? How did you suppress the urge for painkillers when experiencing excruciating pains? At any point did you see your girlfriend more like a sister or perhaps a relative? At any point can you possibly say she was showing more of pity than love?
It is natural to part ways with your girlfriend...are you in a new relationship? If yes, how do you compare with your past one? If No...can I know why?...I will love to hear from you again. Warm regards.

Modified

Is your condition cost intensive? If yes does it weigh you down? Do you often get depressed? If yes, how are you handling it? I hope you don't find the questions annoying. Please feel free to decline any question you do not want to answer. I will love a lengthy response. Please make it long and include all the trivial details.

haftob:
Where's Marxx? It's been long he posted, I hope he's fine

Hello, it is my pleasure to make ur acquaintance. I am fine. I trust you are? Take care

jashar:
it's true ooo......


Marxxx, Marxxx, Marxxx.....

My friend!!! I can barely read your post...how are you? I trust you are good? I am having the best and the worst of times. I am quite glad you still keep in touch, quite thoughtful of you. How is your programme? Academics? Work? I am probably guessing I have lost touch with some of the things you preoccupied yourself with...pardon my ignorance if I don't recall some important things about you.
I am old now hence I may not be swift to reply ur posts but I will read as many as I find interesting. Take care dearest...

Jashar who won the 2016 NL ladies contest?

loshybab:
seems you're in a relationship with one right?

Not at all

tripoli007:
Laughing in Spanish who's ur father and what do u bring to the table,no offense meant but this story up here is a pure display of class

Sijuwade ( late ooni) vs. Folawiyyo ( top notch Nigerian family) rich vs rich ..

This only happens when the rich marries d rich ..

*No insult intended

You don't have to tell her. Do not dampen her fantasies and wishes...sometimes that is all we have left! Ge001...do not get discouraged, he is not God

jusRadical:

You see the problem. They married out of pity. Your mum feels that she is indebted to your father. Do you think that that is a good basis for one to get married? Pity? Do not forget that their days are different from ours. Begged to take cared of? Ha!ha!ha!ha!

Have you not seen or heard of a situation where a woman abandons a man that helped her and vice viser?

hey it is ok

baby124:
No wonder she is doing all those things. It is out of a sense of gratitude to your father for lifting up her family and not out of love, respect or loyalty. She even needs to keep your father's ego massaged so she can keep providing for her extended family's needs. Likewise your father is able to get away with treating her like this because he is her family's small god. The dynamics of every marriage is different. Till you understand that before making sweeping judgments. This is not about respect, but gratitude. A woman your father's age mate could also do same. Likewise a young wife could run away with a younger lover with your father's money too. He just married a good woman that has the fear of God. It has nothing to do with age or respect. If your father could not provide all her needs will she have the same level of loyalty? I think not..

...is ok...

jusRadical:
You have stereotype problem. May be you are still a kid or still single with lofty ideas in life. You make statements that a learned person shouldn't make. What are your authority in your statements? I guess none?

What are the factors the ennoble successful marriages? List them. Is age one of them? Are you currently invovled in a successful marriage?

So why do we have many marriages in which the man is older than the woman still collapsing? If you know human psychology, you will know that no woman will respect the husband because the husband is older than her.

You think that some men marry older women because they have low esteem, lust, deceived and poor? You see why I may be inclined to call you an inexperienced youth.

Well ones knowledge is related to his experiences in life.

I quit

baby124:
Lol, so you think a good wife should take care of you like a new born baby. But you pray you are not alive to ever take care of her too. According to you, you can't be shaking and your wife is shaking too. Abi? Chai, women have suffered. And it's not like your papa will even be rewarding her by satisfying her sexually, this one she has to bath him. Please when he dies find your mum a fresh meat so she can enjoy her life small before going to meet her ancestors. Women have emotional needs too and deserve to be pampered.

You claim women are weaker, but it's your father pretending to be a new born baby. Can't eat, sleep or function without his mother/wife being there abi? Your mother is his mother, wife, secretary, nurse, doctor, cook, baby sitter, communications director, business director and accountant. Yet she's weaker somehow. Lol. Your father owes her people a lot for the value he gets out of her. Chai!

that is the joy of having a wife. You see My parents were quite poor in their early days but my mum's family were incredibly poor. My dad was begged to take her because they were so many and poorly fed. My dad took care of her and did the best he can. He has taken care of her then and now she is repaying him of all the good deeds. Definitely mum has filled the house with all her niece, nephew, sisters etc and my dad business caters for them....If you marry a young wife, you will pamper and treat well. So that when you age she will have enough energy to take care of you.

jashar:
Hallos dear. The truth is I don't know. It takes more than love to keep a marriage anyway.

Like one of my lecturer says,' in the long-run, we're all dead.

I know you don't wanna reference movies, but I watched 'Me Before You' last year December. That lady was willing to put up with him, but he chose not to have that. I like to think that there are selfless people like that.

In other news, I like the fact that you're considering marriage.
Don't worry, you'll find that special someone

You sef know I must be there.

How body?

why does everyone thinks I am considering marriage I am working on a project, sourcing for data and all...it will help decision making during counselling and also help people with terminal illness...but who knows...

Abdullateef77:
when I saw the topic me before you was the first thing that came to my mind and the funniest thing is that I just watched it today.
coming back to the topic,i know you would be expecting an eperience or a scenerio but just pardon me.the French say that "it is the faith of glass to break",well I say it is that the faith of humans to die so what the hell,we still gonna die anyway.

lol...but you did not answer the questions. Be specific....

BiafranBushBoy:
.. Shebi?

those gods sef

I will pray over it

you are derailing...

sisisioge:
Hmmmmmm...

I'm AA but once dated an SS dude. He was all over me but I couldn't move past the fact that there will be times he would have crisis. The relationship was cool while it lasted but I knew it wasn't gonna go past the peripheral.

I can't handle watching loved ones fall sick...It kills me over and over. Last year for about a month, I turned a nurse on my sis. She had a surgery. It was so painful watching her...I bathed her, nursed the wounds , kept vigil on her and just plain worry about her. I ended up losing about 8kg in one month! She's my favorite family. Now, imagine me going into a relationship knowing there will be many times like that...Can't deal.

Are you guys still together? Do you see him more as a brother than a lover? Was your love for him out of pity? How did you guys break up? Was he addicted to painkillers? Did he discuss future plans with you? What was his source of livelihood? Did you love him? Did he get depressed often? Were you aware of his ailment before dating him? How did he handle the trauma of breaking up?...I will love to hear from you...please...

jusRadical:
Stop saying what you do not know.

Age in marriages is not the issue, even for women. Maturity and understanding on the woman's part is very crucial so also on the man's part. Every challenge related to age stems from understanding, maturity, values, priorities, spirituality, aspirations, etc.

I know of a couple, the wife is 3 years older than the husband and SHE IS CURRENTLY THE BREAD-WINNER.
It will surprise you that this woman whom I know very well not only respects the husband but also leaves her atm with him, sends money to the husband's mother every month, pays 95% of the bills. The husband is not the lazy type but things aren't working out well for him for now though from time to time he has one job or the other doing.

The wife is very intelligent, wise and hardworking. She did not marry out of desperation neither was she compelled to marry him. She did not take in before marriage.


THIS WOMAN IN QUESTION IS BORN AGAIN, CHRIST JESUS LIVES IN HER.

I will still say it over and over any man who marries a woman older than him needs to be examined. Low self esteem, poverty, higher earning prospects....lust and deception is also another factor. No right thinking young man with enough money will marry a lady older than him. You may date older ladies when you have enough money, things may go wrong and you end up marrying one. But under normal conditions with the right state of mind No man will aspire to marry an older woman.

PaperLace:
You can't define sane for millions of men.
I repeat, there are SANE men who want to marry their mates. Not every man wants a wife to babysit him. On this NL, there was a thread on dating older ladies, guys admitted being attracted to older ladies!

They are all SANE, okay?
Marry your 10yrs younger wife and leave others to their choices.

Earning power? Nice reason.
After all you want a younger wife to babysit you when you start shaking.

they are not well trust me! NL is just a forum speak with people one on one...at first they might give you a sketchy response...but if they sit and examine their heads quite well they will reason better...alright bye

PaperLace:
That was just an analogy on the whole HEAD issue, because the HEAD is very important to some of you guys.
My point is simple, your wife wouldn't respect you just because you're 10yrs older. Your husband won't treat you any better just because you're 10yrs younger.
If your mum had any extremely bad trait, even with her young age and wearing trouser_ that marriage wouldn't be enjoyable for either of them. Your mum tolerates your dad, not because he is older. I am sure if you ask her, that won't be her answer.

Happiness in a marriage isn't about age difference, it goes beyond that. Speak for yourself , on this same NL_ I can mention guys that have sworn never to marry someone below their age. Men differ...humans differ.

Thanks for the compliment .

Call any man into a fairly dark room without a door and window ask him do you prefer a much younger wife or a wife of same age bracket...remember this room is where you spend eternity...Every sane man will crave a younger wife. You see dearest so many things have affected the male specie over the years so their choices is understood. If you are married ask your husband to be frank with you I believe he will explain better but these days people like to be socially correct. How can a sane Man marry a woman older than him. Look I have travelled to 40 countries over 100 cities the only country where I believed young men married older women for love is Japan. That is because most japanese women prefer younger guys (let me spare you the details). Others were because of the earning powers. My colleagues will tell me distinctly. Older women elite status...or just because of a social craze and they all cheats...

KillerBeauty:
I once worked as a dessert consultant in a bakery. Though my job designation was in the shop floor as a sales person but I took it upon myself to know everything about our product.
From the flour name, flour ingredient, the components of the butter, sugar and fruits. How the food is prepared ,how the ingredient blends and of course the nutritional value. I even created a chat in my tecno tab about all our products.
At the end of the day customers don't just buy because the cake looks beautiful they buy because they are well informed about the component and of course the taste of the cake.

Hope the word " consultant " fits the job I did.

A sales officer. The fact that you have deep and thorough understanding about the product does not make you a consultant or an analyst. You are supposed to know those stuffs so that you can sell. But if you begin to keep records of your sales activities and you can come up to tell us why we had 5 customers in Jan and 10 in Feb and what we might probably get in march April and may....same goes for the turnover. If you are able to study your competition and other close substitute to your product and use their flaws to your advantage then you can say you are a sales analyst...it takes more than these to be a consultant...

PaperLace:
He isn't entirely buoyant, but they are okay for a young couple. Financially? It's draining!
They both work and spend it on medicals.

I know a whole lot about them and he knows I know because I am one person she confides in. Most people in that situation resort to blackmail advertently/inadvertently, it must be their own way of making sure you remain loyal to them_ they can't help it.

Nature of illness? It's much dear.

I will appreciate it if I can get the nature of his illness? What kind of work does he do? I wanted to start a foundation for cancer but when I started changing chemo, for more expensive drug therapy the foundation died...is he addicted to any substance? Well since he still works I think it's a bit less intense.

Dyt:
Marxxx found love and has decided to take a boss step?

. My bosom friend...No love found! I am trying to have a compilation of responses for my counselling sessions. How are you? How is little man?

PaperLace:
How exactly is she stubborn?
Stubbornness could either be negative or positive. Happiness in marriage isn't a function of age.


Lol @ head position.
You guys are so fixated on this head, no one is dragging it with you.
Women are not tricking anyone, it is simple human relationship.

You deserve to be respected_ yes, but when someone is deserving of something, you have RIGHTFULLY EARNED it. So, you earn respect dear. If you are not worthy of respect, you won't get it just because you're the HEAD. You might get a pseudo-respect, which would fall like a pack of cards during tough times, but not respect itself.

It's that type of respect some fathers got in the past by being the HEADS, the kids grew up, got jobs and the respect was nowhere to be found again. They started wondering where it went, it was never there in the first place, but they felt it was _because they're the HEAD.

If your reason for marrying a younger bride is to get UNDILUTED RESPECT, then such man has started on a very wrong track and might be in for a shocker. You think all the men with problem wives married their mates?

you are very funny ...I can't help laughing. I like the way you write. OK...First the relationship between father and children is quite distinct from what exist between partners. Secondly it is easier for a Man to forgive a much younger partner than a partner of same age bracket. The truth is most men are not emotionally aware of this trait. If I get married to a lady of 22 I will tolerate her more than a lady of 30. It is a natural phenomenon for men. As a man you are likely to expect more from your wife of same age bracket! When you marry a woman you are well older than you see her as a partner you need to guide. Her excesses can be overlooked without thinking twice. And when she disrespect you, it doesn't get to you. On the long run you will profit from it too as a man. Women age faster and they are weaker, health complexities who will take care of whom? My dad is 74 my mum is 61 ...he still gets a massage from his wife. My mum still go to the market, wear trousers and look slays...loooolllll... my mum bathes him ensures he gets his medication at the right time. My dad don't eat any food unless prepared by his wife . My mum manages his agriculture business, helps him with his banking transactions gives us full updates on his health. They have maids "trust me you can't live with my dad"...Imagine if they were of same Age? Please on this Aspect I refuse to be westernised. If I am ever going to get married (God willing) it will be nothing short of a 10year gap. When the age difference is glaring "sometimes" respect flows naturally. I envy the treatment my dad gets from his wife. I can't be shaking and my wife too shaking. At least before she starts shaking I am already dining with my ancestors....