₦airaland Forum

Ujujoan:
Just to add . . . .

Sometimes we expect God to bless us based on our own expectations, it may not always be that way. But God always gives us what we need at every point in our lives. God's choices always have what is best for us, but it may not necessarily be in the package we will recognize. Untill you open it up and look inside, you may not see it as the answers to the prayers you offered because it wasnt packaged in the way you expected.

A lot of us have lost a lot of blessings in this way.

Looking back now, i see why God chose him for me. We are alike in soooo many ways . . . . Something i would never have seen if God hadnt led me to him because i would never have given us a chance otherwise. I never believed in destiny, but i know now that from the day we were created, we were both destined to be man and wife. This is becoming obvious each passing day.

God Bless you Ujujoan for your posts on this thread!

I have always had this feeling that i will be in ur shoes when God leads me to who he has chosen to be my spouse. I still hope that i will be attracted to and fall crazily in love with him like babyosisi but if i don't, your experience has given me courage to trust more in God's plan than my desires.

Ujujoan:
Just to add . . . .

Sometimes we expect God to bless us based on our own expectations, it may not always be that way. But God always gives us what we need at every point in our lives. God's choices always have what is best for us, but it may not necessarily be in the package we will recognize. Untill you open it up and look inside, you may not see it as the answers to the prayers you offered because it wasnt packaged in the way you expected.

A lot of us have lost a lot of blessings in this way.

Looking back now, i see why God chose him for me. We are alike in soooo many ways . . . . Something i would never have seen if God hadnt led me to him because i would never have given us a chance otherwise. I never believed in destiny, but i know now that from the day we were created, we were both destined to be man and wife. This is becoming obvious each passing day.

God Bless you for your posts on this thread.

deleib:
A brother just finds it difficult to control his sexual urge by mastvrbating(self servicing). He always promise God again and again not to get involved in such acts anymore but finds out that the urge always come afta like two weeks and then he falls again.
Another problem is that once he taste it again, he continously engages himself. This sometimes severe the relationship between him and his spiritual life. He is sick and tired of it bt couldn't stop.
Is it really a sin or he is the one making it to be.
He needs your candid advice in a spiritual perspective.

Op, I was once in your shoes, by Jehovah's grace I overcomed.

You will need to take practical steps to deal with this
1. Stop desiring to have s3x. The bible says
"but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed" this means you are being tempted to masturb8 by your desire to have s3x. You can do this by staying away from movies/things that promote sexual behaviour, lingering kissing scenes, shows, books etc. This is increasingly hard in the world we live in today but our God is more than capable to help you. I personally had to stop reading books, even threads on nairaland... anything i felt would awaken a desires to have s3x in me.

2. Try to go out more. Involve yourself in church activities that take your time. Never spend too much time alone in your bedroom.

3. Whenever these urges come some ppl say they play christian music. Read their bibles at that moment. Start speaking in tongues and the urges go away.

4. Fast and pray regularly to kill your flesh.

5. Thank God for victory over besetting sins.

I sincerely hope this helps. Please PM me if you try this and it doesn't work. I will join you in prayers. Shalom.

I am most grateful. This year was great.

1. Started this year with a sore heart. It is amazing how glad am I took that decision. Thank God for His wisdom.
2. My personal, emotional and spiritual growth was phenomenal.

2015 is going to be even better because already I see prophetically the beginning of answers to my prayers.

Mintayo:
Hello. Prayers, fasting plus delieverance are not enought to overcome ma.sturbation,i guessed you must have done a bulk of that. Masturb.ation is a spirit that won't go easily. You have to cast it out and ask it never to return again.
I have some tips in my diary,when i am with it,i will let you know.
Don't forget,study the word also,cleanse urself with the blood of Jesus from every unclean spirit. Ask Jesus to help you,trust me,you can't help yourself, remind yourself that you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour,and when the urge comes,tell the spirit that Jesus is your Lord, and since He is your Lord,masturbatio.n cannot lord it over you. Be determined and get lost among believers.
May God help us all.

Thank you. I mean to get busy and get lost in church activities so i have no time to entertain or open the door to such spirits again.

Ajibam:
I never mastur_bated, but I was close to it before God saved me..This is how I went about it!

First, go to God.. In my own case, I fasted then pray fervently for deliverance from the bondage..
Secondly I do my own part by stopping anything that can raise my libido like pornography, romance and even to the extent of stopping all ungodly relationship I was into..
If am alone and I want to start thinking dirty, I will carry my pc and play gospel songs.. Doing all this with the help of God delivered me.. Am a living witness that disciples people on it.. So if you go through the above steps, with your determination to drop it, you will be saved.
Shalom

I haven't fasted in a couple of months. I will try that.

You are also right...there is most at-times an underlying cause which in my case was romance novels. But by His grace and I stopped reading them for 2 years now and I was able to overcome.

I can't pinpoint the cause now...I believe I will find a way again and I will fast and pray specifically again for deliverance.

The bible says we are tempted when we are drawn away by our desires. I don't think I lust after s'ex but that would be the only reason why I would be tempted by masturbat'n. So my prayers would have to deal with the lust for fornication also.

God bless you for your help.

I seem to understand that it is because of the undulations in the uterus that we get Hot. But how do can we stop this "horniness". Anyone with tips?

Mine is always a nightmare. I carry hard pain killers around so i am never caught unawares or i have to be hospitalized which is so embarrassing. It arrives with all pregnancy symptoms; vomiting and retching, sensitivity to scents; severe pains; swollen boobs; breakouts; bloating. Can't wait to have my kids so all these things will stop.

Hey guys,

Has anyone dealt with the spirit of masturbation and overcome before? I need firsthand experiences i can learn from not theories.

Thanks.

coogar: the struggle is real!

getting a responsible husband in nigeria is more difficult than entering the kingdom of heaven.

LWKMD!!!!

AdimGreat: See one of them!
Na your type no dey gree send househelp go school

Must you comment?

If you must try not to make baseless accusations.

freecocoa: What do you mean by this comment?

Why won't they pay her fees when they promised? Even without the promise sef, if it isn't wickedness, why would you make a child a slave, using her anyhow and not pay her fees?

If they hadn't promised to do so it would crazy to expect them to pay her fees before their children.

flakkykul: I expect them to pay my fees cos dats what they promised my parent and I even deserved it cos I worked for it as slave 4 3yrs.trust me u dnt want to hear more dan dat

If it was a prior agreement....then I understand your frustration.

flakkykul: My cousin's wife showed me hell,I ate fishless head of fish for like a year before I decided not to take it frm her again and she refuse to give me fish or meat to eat for a week,well sha after I gain admission I sharply went back to my house even though we cldnt afford 2 square meal ao much more 3 nd I ddnt step my feet in their ous again till date.the worst they did was not paying for my school fees worth 15k nd their kids schoolfees was 50k per person(oro po ninu iwe kobo),I knw one of them wld b reading this cos they re nailanders.when I look back nd rem where I am coming from I just smile cos it has been d lord's doing

Why would you expect them to pay ur fees...their responsibility is to their children first before you.

Sanchez01: You are right. And just to expatiate something you highlighted; there is no such thing as a soul mate. God, in a way, has placed several people in the world for us to pick or choose from among them.

Fleecing truly backs the idea of the soul mate theory, which ought not to be. The soul mate theory or syndrome is invented by poets and found in those who live in a world of fantasy and acclaimed perfection. God did not design His children with such mentality.

Word! But then what would you advice as the christian way of assessing a suitor?

itstpia1: The disconnect arises because people are quick to rush into relationships whereas in fact what you need is not that.

Please shed more light on what you mean....

Sanchez01: Fleecing is very wrong. It gives the devil an avenue for him to manipulate us since we trust more in signs than God Himself. Take for instance, a brother says 'God, let the lady I want to marry wear a blue or a red gown, and let her sit beside, behind or in front of me OR Dear Lord, if a lady smiles at me in church today, I'll take her as a wife because I believe it is a sign from you.'

When we fleece, we unconsciously shove God aside and trust more in signs than what He intend or has in stock for us. God does speak through signs, but it is dangerous when we ask God to do so, rather than desire to hear that still small voice. The moment one starts to hear from God, signs play less roles in the interpretation of meanings, particularly when choosing a partner. Most singles tend to confuse their heart with God's guidance; thus, making it hard for them to thread on the path God has designed for them.

My thoughts exactly.

This leads to the idea of soul mates...there seems to be a correlation between fleecing and believing that there is only one partner for children of God. Ppl with this school of thought seek a sign to confirm that he or she is that one person they have to be with to fulfil their purpose here on earth.

Sanchez01: Dearie, 'he who FINDS a wife findeth a good thing...'. Yes, you can ask God to show who the best is. Note, I did not say the special or only. You see, there are thousand and one persons to us; we obtain favour when we find one.

Asking for a sign could be dangerous. It is called FLEECING. Though most Christians fleece while believing God is at work. Nothing is wrong in praying to God for a partner and asking Him to give you someone that best compliment you. Just that most umarried people walk around with pride and assurance, believing they have heard from God as touching their partner, without knowing they fleeced and often times allow their heart to judge instead of God. I have several scenarios around me and I have come to discover that majority of those who claim to have got the green light in their relationship never heard from God. They simply fleeced the situation.

So fleecing in itself is not wrong? It seems to open up doors for us to interpret situations without hearing directly from God.
I am not disputing the fact that God sometimes speaks through signs.

I have heard time and time again of how devoted Christians pray for a sign to accompany their spouse's arrival into their lives. Some say it happened just as they prayed.

My personal experience with this has not been same. I generally do not ask for signs from God before I take decisions so I had a disconnect when my ex had all manner of signs from dreams, to messages from his pastor and mother about our relationship.

He is now married so I wonder how he reconciles all the revelations he had to his present actions.

What experiences had you had concerning this...

fubbyy: This thread is for people who have felt this way before

Have you ever felt that you are becoming useless?

*Done everything that you could but nothing happened

*you know that you are intelligent and smart but couldn't use it to achieve anything

*all your life you have never made 1 naira while you struggle more than people who make millions

*people run to you, you write job application letter for them and they came back rejoicing that they got the job while you have written over 100 of your own but nothing happened

*you prayed and fasted nothing happened

*you entered 3 days dry fasting, the day you finished it,police came and arrested you with one allegation of theft

*you trek up and down the town wishing something will happen but came back with nothing

*the only person who thought that the storm will be over someday and encourages you never to give up, died on your arms

*your family thinks you are liability




Have you ever felt useless? If yes what did you do?

OP I have been there before. Its just a phase . It will pass. Cheer up.

ihedinobi2: So there's this thing I'd like us to discuss. It may seem a little bit frivolous but it's a major paradigm considering that it affects the very foundation of human society - marriage itself.

At a meeting I attended last Sunday, I heard it described for the first time as closeting. That's another word for the perhaps more popular friendzoning.

Among us Christians, we do have a phenomenon that corresponds to the friendzoning thing. Back in the uni in those fellowship days, you'd find people pairing off in such a way that you assumed that there was something romantic in it. Sometimes there was, sometimes there wasn't. Whichever the case was, it resulted in any other potential mate deciding to keep their distance because, well, the brother or sister was considered taken which sometimes was not the case at all. This is often costly for some people. And perhaps sometimes a savior?

What do we think about it? How should relationship across genders be for us Christians? What do you think the Bible says about it? Is this one of those things that the Bible says nothing on?

How did it become costly for some people?

As long as either parties have not declared or expressed romantic interest, treat all with brotherly love and respect.

woky: hello Maryini

Hi woky

This thread is so funny

Money problems are not peculiar to our menfolk only.
Women generally would prefer their partners earn more than they do. Most of my female friends broke off their relationships when they found out they earn more than their partners.

Nomski0: Whoa! . That's so COOL What do you do?

I hope to make mine at 24.....if things go as planned.

You can make it dear! #Hugs

I am a project engineer in an oil & gas company.

breezy047: Was "the man" a naija politician?

What is this world turning into that a female cannot make a million naira without being called a prostitute.

Made my first 1 mil and over with my salary this year. Girl Power!

justwise: Is the trip job related or part of your company's program?

its for my graduation.

but the people i am inviting do not have visas or money in their accounts and would b sponsored by my dad's company