queensmith: you dont really make marriage sound encouraging, especially with the talk of institution, responsibility, family man. What is wrong with meeting the woman of your dreams and wanting to be with her forever.

Its understandable the way you see things anyway, our culture makes a skeptic of us all. Yet we shouldn't deny the decent ladies and gentlemen out there who are blessed with good attitudes and have fulfilling relationships. Its easier when we focus on whats important in life rather than view marriage as an opportunity to seem responsible or conform with others expectations of our lives.

Hey and quit bashing the smokers the clubbers, the bar crawlers and the hip hoppers! It doesn't make you irresponsible if you enjoy life.

the bolded part of ur statement is why most marriages fail today IMHO, what happens when ur feelings of wanting to be with that person dies off...because it wud surely do...if ur not open to the fact that marriage is more than just feelings, it is a great RESPONSIBILITY and not all fun you will surely get divorced...so as the OP said if some ppl r not ready to see it as that they shud save their time and keep on hopping from one bed to the another....afterall it is not by force to marry

@OP...thinking that we all have a "the one" presupposes that we only have one chance at marital bliss....what about those ppl that their "fated mates" die? R u trying to say they wud
never find love or happiness again?

I personally do not subscribe to such mentality, although I do believe there only a few number of ppl we can truly be happy with...If we are lucky to find them in this life.

tpia@:


so what exactly is your problem here, and what do you want nlers to do for you?

what kind of advice are you seeking from the majority godless people that are found on this site?

thread sounds fake, imo.

may God forgive you.

How does it sound fake? It is very real...I am even in a similar situation but thank God I am not married to him.

Like the OP we are very good friends...I keep thinking I would grow to love him because he is one of the nicest guys i have ever met but for where.

Odunet Lbs: Thanks for sharing...was it for graduate recruitment or professional?

Thanks.

It was for an undisclosed position but I think I was the only one with no experience there. The others where guys dat were working...so I dont know if it was graduate or professional.

I don't hope too soon...I am currently doing an Msc program...so any recruitment process would not get my full attention...you seem very knowledgeable about Oil and Gas Companies...could i get your email for further contact?

I was not taking the thing too serious (my mind was still in london/i was still jet-lagged, i don't know )...i now realise what an opportunity I threw away....i also did not know Total engineers have the highest salary...it was Total Downstream and I heard they pay less than the upstream...I am not into downstream stuff so I wrote them off (so foolish of me)...I hope I get another chance at other MNCs.

Cheers!

P.S: I am a Chemical Engineer.

tanimola22:

Hey baby, sorry to hear about your horrible interview with Total.

What questions were you asked? You may want to detail them here for posterity. Visitors to this thread will surely appreciate.

Thanks,
T22.

I was interviewed by a panel comprising of a few departmental heads. The questions asked were technical. What happens to hydrocarbons when they escape into the atmosphere. What is fire point and flash point? What is the second law of thermodynamics? Alternative sources of energy? What is NDT (non destructive test)? I was handed a diagram showing different tanks and pump configurations then asked to choose which is the best position for placing the pump to move fluid from one tank to another. FInally, I was asked what safety meant to me.

Hopefully someone learns from my mistakes.

.

tanimola22:

Very trivial input:

A former colleague was interviewed in 2009 for a position in the same finance. Amongst many others, she was asked the following basic questions:

--Explain return on asset, ROA
--Explain return on equity, ROE
--Explain return on investment, ROI
--Explain the concept of project finance in relation to the oil and gas industry
--Walk us through your CV
--Present value of a project, future value
--Idea of discounting
--Exponential discounting, should the discount factor vary with time? Why? Explain
--Best financial ratios for oil and gas analysis
--Corporate finance
--Behavioural and competency questions. I am sure you know these ones very well. They have been exhaustively discussed on naijahotjobs forum where you are an active forum member. Don't forget to let them know how your UK education has made you globally fluent. You must be able to articulate why they should pick you over other applicants that have your same exposure. Compose a good and convincing story.

All the best.

T22

I wish I found this thread a month ago...I had an interview with Total in which I performed horribly because I prepared wrongly...I expected behavioural questions but got technical questions. Bigger Boy, I wish you success in your interview.

rokiatu: This is the funniest and my most favourite thread on NL

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-568948.0.html

I love that thread...so freaking hilarious. I had to send the link to all my friends.

Her chances are non-existent. UK post study work visa has been cancelled. If she still wants to study in the UK, she should do so knowing that she has to go home after.

Knegoyon: The lawyers aren't going to comment. They are the ones that are looking like the fools. How can one that dresses like a fool in the world even know he or she is one?

So, never expect the lawyers and judges that are in Africa and the Caribbean who wear these wigs to make a negative comment about their court dress. They will not. They are the ones that are sick in the mind and do not know it. It's called being brainwashed. Brainwashed people don't know they are brainwashed. In fact, the brainwashed person will defend their actions and will even show anger that one even questions their actions.

So, no the laywers and judges that wear the wigs will not say anything....they think they look normal and they think they look respectable. They don't even think they look like fools. Take note of their serious expressions when they are having their photos taken with those wigs on their heads. Yet, they think they look good. ....But, they look like fools to the world.

ROTFLMAO!! LOOOOL!

Good idea but would you have time to go through the recordings? If not u will just be wasting your money.

OP, Today is not fathers day oh! Fathers day will be on the 17th of June 2012..

@Topic LOL!!

@OP LOOOL!

Most of what ur saying is true

You guys should free the lady. Are you the one paying for her internet?

BTW I think Jenny just picked on her because in recent threads they have been having clashes.

Mmuo Okija: How is your sex life?!

If you guys are not going at it atleast 5 times a week, then thats the beginning of your problem. You need to start watching p'orn to learn some new mind blowing techniques that would leave hiom so exhausted he would go right to sleep without eating.

Secondly, why you never carry belle after one year?! Abi you never tire for honeymoon?!

Thirdly, have you started tying wrapper and walking around the house in hairnet and pyjamas?! This can also creat friction in marriage. .

Also, learn how to be a mother to him and start massaging his ego. . Stop taking offence at everything he does. . we men are babies and very few women know how to handle us.. . I suggest you get a book about it.

So you are happy to behave like a baby.

@all...thanks for all the insults...I still stand by my statement...FYI I am black!

.

koko-oro:
Everyman is a polygamist by nature

Bros! Go and read your bible again...Jesus said One man for One woman. So please stop giving such a silly excuse. Are men animals that they cannot control themselves?

@Jennykadry: I love you hubby! God bless him. But if it was a man did what you did (to a woman) it would have been another story.

stagger: I do not think the issue here is equality. The relationship between a husband and a wife should be complementary; not based on equality or superiority.

I do not believe myself superior to my wife and vice versa. We all have our roles. Even though I can cook, I simply hate going to market and when my wife came into my life, I had relief in that area. In the same vein, I have a tendency to spend money unwisely. Her coming into my life has changed that. Similarly, she tends to panic and gets easily ruffled by bad news or tense situations. I am more composed and do not get ruffled easily. So I balance her out in that area.

For instance, I naturally fix all the gadgets and stuff in the house. But there was a day I bought a new hurricane fan and was having problems assembling it. I decided to put it off till night and went out. I came back home and met the fan assembled and working; done by my wife. Did that make me feel inferior? No way! I was happy because my wife showed herself to be a helpmate, which is their roles.

She washes for me, cooks for me, and gives me great sex, which keeps my mind and body in a very good tune to focus on my major role, which is to provide for the family.

That is what it is. It should not be a question of "I can do this better so I am superior to her/him". This is where society has missed it.

This is sooo lovely!

@Steph7 LOOOOL

Whatever floats your boat.

steph7: I tot as much,can u imagine he is on my bbm, I'm keeping him there 4 when I want to vent, silly boy.imagine the nonsense, come to think of it I think most of us are feminist even T A wrote an article on it

LOOL...u keep him on ur bb to vent..lol

My life is very peaceful because I run the other way when I see guys that say such. Every one to his own.

Sisi_Kill: OP thank you for this topic, this is what I have been trying to promote. . .I even started a blog about it some few years back, I passed out fliers, handouts, put up videos but sadly all my troubles was for naught because we still have these sassy women propagating the idea. . .the silly notion that they are worthy to stand toe to toe with a man.

Anyway, now that we are talking about it again. . .here goes

THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE: HOW TO BE THE BEST WIFE FOR YOUR HUSBAND

1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3) Be a little happy and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4) Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

5) Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

6) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

7) Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

8 ) Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

9) Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home later or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

10) Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

11) Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

12) Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

13) Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

14) Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

15) Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

16) A good wife always knows her place.


I had to highlight the last two because I think this is where most of us women miss it. . .WE JUST DON'T KNOW OUR PLACE!!!!

Thank God for the bountiful patience he has given the men who have to deal with us.

For more instructional, please feel free to visit my blog PERFECTION: BE THE BEST NAIJA WIFE

@ TARYOUR,
You have a good head on your shoulder. . .you just get it and I was wondering if you would like to help me co-write the blog. From the little I have read, you will be an shining example of the inferiority of girls to boys. I sincerely believe that once people. . .our young girls see that one can still live a normal life while embracing their inferiority. . .many of them will be dissuaded of the false idea that they are more than what they are.

Please send me an email if you are interested and we can get started on this arduous task of ours.

OMG!!! R u for real?

U r entittled to ur opinion.

steph7: =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=))​ were u my seat mate? And what letter does ur name and surname start from

Haha...no...I left in ss2...I also went to gh..guess! It starts with I and A..

steph7: @ maclatunji, none of the women here are saying we shudn't be submissive to our husbands, we are all saying that in a marriage the woman is neither superior nor inferior to the man, effort is needed from both sides to make it work.
@ Op I feel sad for you children, I remember back in high school there was a boy whose parents had brought him up to feel superior to girls, once the teacher leaves class, he'll say no girl shud open her mouth and talk, not even whisper, we cudn't even laff, woe betide you, and you open ur mouth, he'll get up and beat you.
Even when we reported to teachers, they'll flog him and he'll come back and beat us again, this continued till one day, a girl got up and gave him the beating of his life after then he cooled down.
OP, imagine if you continue this girls are inferior crap, and your daughter grows to become a minister in future, while your son is struggling in life, do you think your son will want to ask for help from someone he feels is inferior.
I think you'll just be sowing seeds of discord in your children.

Steph7...I know you..U went to AHS...this experience is one of the reasons why I have feministic tendencies...at such a tender age some 12yr old boy who's mother did not teach him all human beings are equal decided to make my life miserable..till today I get very angry when I remember the trauma I went through just this superiority issue.

Mrs.Chima:


Some men are happy when single. Some men doesn't speak for all men.
Some women are happy when single. Some women doesn't speak for all women.

Question, can a man stay single and keep his dick in his pants?

LMHO!!!!

Fellow NL members, I am perplexed that no matter how many times I cook Afang soup it has not turn out having that unique taste of Afang leaves. Is it that I am putting too much water leaves or too little afang? Please share you tips in cooking afang so I can flex muscle in this area for my future hubby.