₦airaland Forum

Business is slow these days, I guess rescission is hurting hard.

Meanwhile, here are some new jobs.

celeiyke1:
Pls I need volunteers to help design our new NGO logo
Name: Touchstone Care Foundation
Aim: To help uplift the lives of vulnerable groups especially women and children
You can watsapp ms on 08036764126

Visit me. www.fiverr.com/jimmyfix

Get your professional corporate logo done.

LUGBE:
This is a baby talking, Ronaldo followed you and then.

Bad belle. You wont understand what effect this will have on davido's brand.

Nice

Stop insulting graphic designers. And to those mediocres who are abusing this profession, more power to your elbows.

dainformant:
Senior Pastors of Omega Fire Ministry Int'l, Apostle Johnson and his wife, Dr. (Mrs.) Lizzy Suleman arrived in style in California LA, USA. The pastors arrived few hours ago for a Crusade in California. A man had to kneel in the middle of the airport as he greeted the couple on their arrival.

The crusade tagged Help from Above is expected to hold between 20th and 21st June at the Faithful Centre Bible Church, Inglewood, California.

Source; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2017/06/apostle-suleman-and-wife-arrive-in-style-in-california.html

Madness. People don't even give God such honor they are giving to these men.

ip2121918021:
If this guy goes to heaven despite his killings and shit and I go to hell for sipping some alcohol, then heaven and the whole God thing is defo unfair.

I might as well start kidnapping and robbing then repent when I dun belle full with cash.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/5517386_tm89uea_jpeg685b14dc48128bd857f6bccd7a9744f4

Help me tell them Abeg.

oshe11:
Love to help bt HONESTLY dnt know





7 major types of slap.

1) Formatting slap: This is the type that makes one forget instantly what he/she was doing. You find yourself asking questions like 'what did I do? Why did you slap me?'
This slap is very common. It's always from a guy who is stronger than you...

2)Resounding slap: This is when after you are hit, you keep hearing funny sounds in your brain like wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....

3) Take away slap: This is when after you are slapped, all you do is hold your face and walk away. This type is normally received by new born again Christians....

4) Religious Slap: The type of slap that immediately you receive it, you shout Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

5) Fixed Deposit slap: When you receive this slap, all you just do is stand right where you are and watch the person walk away.
Elder brothers use this type of slap alot.

6) Rhetorical slap: The moment you receive this slap, you find yourself asking questions that don't need reply.... 'Chigoo, you slapped me?... Like did you just slap me?

7) Explanation slap: When you receive this type, you find yourself explaining the situation to the nearest person to you out of your own Accord.
' Bros, shebi you been dey watch.? I no do anything o... I just dey pass na.
This is a slap from soldiers that haven't been promoted for a long time.


WHICH ONE BUHARI, THE PRESIDENCY AND OUR POLITICIANS DESERVE

Fixed deposit slap nko?

When Dem slap you that slap today, the slap no go materialize until days later. You go be like, "wait oooo, this man slap me day before yesterday oooo, ahhhh, wetin I do am narrrr?

SUNDICOS:
Pls friends, I' ve being looking looking for a way to stop this unfunny harbit of my life, but couldn't, meanwhile if you have any positives comments that will help me out, pls don't waste time to do so through this media

I have a book which I never published on the practical steps to take to quit smoking.

I wont give out for free.

Contact me asap.

Brightwood:
Bill Gates doesn't drive them?

Epic response. When you have money and spend like a child.... You're very poor. Mentally poor.

Lasu nko. Anyways.... That one Na glorified secondary school. They misplaced results and they start giving student manufactured marks. Shameeee

She stole. I was robbed. Thieves have no mercy. I don't pray they attack any of you running your mouths here.

sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

Run, run as fast as you can. Suffering is beckoning at you. Run. If you get married to him, you're a dead meat. His mothers jealousy is the beginning of trouble in your life.

Rtopzy:
Immature display

It's irritatingly foolish, stupid, immature and annoying.

What's her aim? I'm sure shes back to her weed.

Biafrareform:
Let me start by giving you a background story to what you are about to read.

In 2015, the girl I love left me in a disvastating manner. I was so heartbroken. I decided to be careful so as not to have such experience again. I changed completely.
From 2015 to March this year, I comfortably and effortlesly walked in and out of 5 relationship. Leaving the ladies heartbroken,

It was in March that I realized that am finding it difficult to love a woman. So I consciously try to change it and settle with my future bae.

Last week, I met a dreamed girl. She is hot and well endowed from the back. She is the perfect girl I want. Within 3 days, I discovered she has fallen in love with me. I reciprocated by showing her care. Then I discovered she is the jealous type.
She told me she left an abusive relationship with a rich guy and have made up her mind not to go into any till I showed up.
I invited her over to my place today, the moment we walked into my apartment, she was all over me. She followed me to the kitchen while I prepared food for her and started kissing me.
While we were together, her ex called and she told him that she has found rest of mind with someone else.
Done eating, we set to talk and we started kissing. Then she asked me to make love to her. I declined and explained to her that is too early for it and don't want to rush into it. She was angry and mad at me, accusing me of sleeping around with my school friends, she couldn't believed I said No.
She started crying and made me to understand that I just have to make her cum. That's she is feeling that way cos she is totally in love with me. That I shouldnt make her remember her past.
I decided to play with her all through till she was satisfied.

Am left confused. I really love this girl and I don't want to have sex with her now. She may end up like others. My love for her hasnt matured yet. I need grow more in love with her.

Guys use girls. They quickly sex them and discard them. Sadly some ladies do this as well. Bro, you're about to be used sexually and dumped. If you're a stallion and rich maybe she'll stick around for a while and dump your a**

Amagite:
Nollywood actress, Tonto Dikeh surely doesn’t want her son, King Andre to feel the absence of his dad! She showed up at his school dressed up as a man for father’s day celebration.

She shared a video of pictures from the event and wrote;

“JUICY MAN’s(KINGY) School father’s day celebration today.. I Showed Up For my Son.. #PROUD MOTHER #KINGTONTO #KINGY #CHAMPIONS #I AM BLESSED #I AM A WOMAN,I AM STRONG,I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD OF THESE..”

Her estranged husband, Churchill have not had access to their son since she left him. More photos below…


http://www.lailasblog.com/2017/06/tonto-dikeh-dressed-man-son.html

Shey I told you all yesterday what Tonto mean in Spanish..... Fool

bizzynix:
Thanks for coming through Sir! Bless up!

I need withdraw from my fiverr account asap. What's the process?

ElGabi:
Any transcriber available? I have a 45mins video that needs to be transcribed(time stamps included) within the next 36 hours. Whatsapp me with your rate, ASAP. 0.8.07882.9857

My standard rate is 25$

Let's be open here. Send me the file, asap

xcellinking:
Can I join? Is the list full?

Pls do. We are just 3 now.

Tonto in Spanish means....... Fool.
Lai in Yoruba mean...... Iro

Plenty sense. I dread robbers. They once attacked me but I wasn't home. They took away everything I've laboured for. Now I'm squatting with someone. Can't even save enough money to get another apartment. But I believe soon, I'll break through.

Which area is safest in Alimosho?

ClassicMcGee:
please how long does it take for an online transfer to show up in the recievers account

It's can be immediately

You've allowed your debit card info get into the wrong hand bro. Don't contact quickteller. Go to your bank give them all the ref numbers, they will contact quickteller and they will find out the owner of the quickteller account used and the accounts your money was transferred to.

I have a very instructive Adobe Illustrator tutorial for beginners. All those accepted into the team will have this video.

From all that have sent me mails... I can only sellect one designer yet.

shadrach77:
1) Davido has had two major hits this year alone. Wizkid hasn't had any major hit for a while
(2) His latest hit "fall" has grossed almost 3 million views in just a week
(3) He has a more compassionate heart and he is into a lot of unannounced charity work
(4) He has won more awards. 25 in total. Compared to Wizkid's 19
(5) He has had more hit singles
(6) He has more social media followership. The most followed Nigerian celebrity on social media. 4.2 million on Instagram compared to Wizkid's 3.7 million
(7) Can equally produce. Unlike Wizkid
(8 ) Has more artistes in his stable

Similarities.
They both are childish and spoilt.
They both have more than one baby mama
They both sing trash that our children can't learn anything from.
They both drew tattoos on their bodies (Satanic)

If I've said anything that is not true about them..... Oya, make Unar insult me.

GIYAZZ:
After much wait, G'Iyaz puts out his first Music Project, PRISM Break. A core Hip-Hop/Rap EP consisted of four tracks and a bonus. G'Iyaz defines this EP as a whole presentation of his rap Artistry. Defining "PRISM" as an acronym for Punchlines, Rhymes, information, storytelling and metaphors. And "Break" as the break out of the aforementioned in one masterpiece.

PRISM break, The EP, enjoys notable features and samples from Rap and Soul music legends. From impeccable rap verses from Port Harcourt rap legends; Plasthic Slash and Xplain Da Don, Scottish rapper; Giro Buster, East Coast Rap legend; King Henry Viii, Respected Lagos based Emcee and producer; Rap Kultcha, to samples from Nina Simone and more notable soul musicians.

This EP with all tracks produced by Renowned Nigerian Hip-Hop producer, Dlyricist, promises to be a revelation of true Rap music. A definition of real Hip-Hop. This is one masterpiece for the real music lovers. Cop it and pay attention!

LISTEN TO PRISM BREAK VIA THE LINK BELOW:

https://soundcloud.com/giyazmusic/sets/prism-break-ep

Pls sound like us. You can do it. Forget the phonetics Abeg.

newsynews:
The American comedian was spotted courtside at the Oracle Arena in Oakland, beside his new girlfriend, Megalyn Echikunwoke. The 34-year-old half-Igbo Nigerian, half-Navajo Indian beauty, kept an arm around the 52 year old as they watched the Golden State Warriors beat the Cleveland Cavaliers during game five of the NBA Finals.


http://wotzup.ng/chris-rock-steps-out-with-his-nigerian-new-girlfriend-for-the-nba-finals/

Agbaya @ 52 still carrying girlfriend when your mates are having grandchildren.

But this ghel fine ooo

IamProdigy:
Should we send to the same mail

Yes please

GSteve001:
the mail delivery system is bouncing. is the email above correct?

I'm so sorry, it's been corrected.

Apologies once again.

Neduzze5:
Lalasticlala.... No be only Messi dey evade Tax ooo!!


Real Madrid fans will be making noise upandan about Messi evading tax. Yaff you seen it now? Your own star man also did the same way back from 2011.

Now who's the best? All Hail Barcelona!! All Hail Messi jare!!

FTC! Wow, been a long while sha

Lol, those accusing him are gonna pay with their harrrrsis. Those who paid them to accuse CR7 will be exposed soon. That all Barça players and their board are criminals doesn't make others questionable.

This morning I contacted like 5 top rated logo design sellers on fiverr to subcontract jobs to me and it dawned on me that each of the five are consisting of nothing less than 15 designers.

I want to build a team of 15 designers.

Requirements
1. Must be able to use any or all of
CorelDraw, Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop

2. Must have his or her own person computer system.

3. Must be willing and ready to be contacted for jobs at anytime.

4. Must always be online.

5. Must be time conscious, ready to deliver on time.

I will design a structure that will work for us.


Please if you know you're a mediore in graphic design please this post is not for you.

Professionals please contact me if you see a future in my idea.

Send your details to Jimmyfix.graphics@gmail.com
Your name,
Company name
Year of experience
The software(s) you can use professionally
Samples of the jobs you've done (JPEG)

I am one... Fourteen to go.