₦airaland Forum

The rate a which you see ladies do things their mum couldn't think of doing in marriage is getting alarming.
Even most single ladies would have fared better if they had maintained a closer relationship with their mothers and listened to them..
But women are their own enemies. Once most young girls attain the age of puberty, their mum becomes their first resentment. This is so wrong. Your mum being your first turn-off can spell doom for your future as a young lady who hasn't experienced life to know her left or right.
You don't underestimate age, wisdom and experience because you think your mum is "old-fashioned".
Did you know where she was when she took in or gave birth to you?
If she can tell you how to close your legs as a lady, what makes you think she can't teach you to do the right thing in marriage?
Except she has failed in her own marriage, every mum should be the daughters mirror or family vision.
Yes some mother's have their little faults but if she can live 25-30 years with a man and you couldn't stand 5-15 years with your husband, then you must be WRONG.
Am closer to my dad than my mum..that's masculine affinity and easy to understand because men quarrel, disagree and let go easily..
Find something good in your mother as a young lady and stick to it.
Yesterday I heard a girl saying on the phone that her mum can say all the rubbish she wants to say but that she will marry anytime she wishes to.
This is someone that all her close friends are married and her mum is concerned that she only comes back from the city every month for Ashebi.
She resents her mum for a vital advice?
Is it even wise to keep building castles for other people while you squat.. Not that she doesn't have suitors because I know her well.
I simply chipped in and advised her to please draw closer to her mum.
Jeez ..I hate resenting advice from elderly people easily..
What will even make me think I have known all?
You see daughters even in marriage resent their mothers advice on how to train their children well.
Let's not blame the mothers of the 1930-1980 for this stupid generation..
Let's start from the mothers from 1980- 2017.
Most of these ones disgust their mums because they know it all attitude is rife.
Honestly there is a missing link in the mother-to- daughter relationship of the 21 century.
How we wish our ladies will listen more..

Baby mamarism and divorce made me become skeptical about my dreams of being a celebrity in Nigeria....though its everywhere shaa

AgbenuAnna:
I really don't care about your tribe but who you are

But some will force you to ask where they come from

AgbenuAnna:
hmmmm

Are you surprised?

Before a girl accepts to walk down the aisle with you, she asks question about your people. Same with the time the guys want to..Infact its more common with guys to make inquiry before finally settling down to marry any lady..
Many towns in Nigeria have worn the cloak of bad names. The mention of their people rings a bell of one particular bad thing they are known for. So as a young bloke or lass, you can't claim to be ignorant of these trends following your village name. The best you can do is to make sure you stand out so that even if the girl knows your people are mainly known for being criminal or a serial cheat, she sees something different in you to say YES.
Same thing with the females, your people has a negative history or image and you go about living a life akin to that myth or story, then you are proving those myths right and causing more harm to other innocent girls unaware of such a trend in their heritage.
For instance, your people are rumoured to be good at not staying with one man. You come out to the city and take up the job of a love peddler, when people ask where you are from, they will say:- "Oh...We are not surprised.. Na them them".
You don't know the danger that image battering can render to thousands of your village or town girls..
Same with the guys..let's be good ambassadors of our heritage and origin.
I once made an inquiry about a lady and the town I was told she came from was a turn-off to hear.
She is an Igbo girl though but I can't just judge her based on that because she has been a nice casual friend in contrast from what I knew her people for..
That's a good ambassador there!
In another scenerio, I once lost a girlfriend because the reports I got about her people was nothing but promiscuous living and she didn't care exhibiting every shade of it to my very face..its only a fool that would still close his eyes and marry such a lady...
Let's be aware that the world is a small place with eyes watching, ears listening and fingers pointing.
These are the reasons why so many people have entered the log jam of broken friendships, relationships and marriages..
Some people can't even hide their origin even at first sight and its a huge embrassment.
Don't let your negative character announce your state or place of origin or residence..
Rather let it make me ask where you are from with positve intrigue
Cheers!

Cheating is a crime in any relationship..
Wetin go give girl mind to cheat on you?
My brother forgive her but sleep with one eye closed oo...
Girls of nowadays!!!
For her to confess, she must be tormented and needs you back truly..
There is always a second chance in every broken friendship. That's the reason you re even here for an advice.....smiles

Wisebird22:
you knw wat you wnt bro,go for it.4give her.hear my own case too...guys pls i dnt knw hw to push this to front page bt i need advice on an issue,.i visited my gals dad for intro,asked for the marriage list and it was given to me and her dad asked me to study it and come for a review in areas i am nt comfortabl wit,sum days ago i went wit my uncle to for d review of the list & he uncle (fathers senior bro) was also sitted after tryin to beat down on sum thingsit didnt wrk bt rather her uncle was just addin up mor expenses,at a point he flamed up dt if am nt ready to marry i should go bck dt inshort d list is too cheap sef as far as he is concern ntin will b changed.my question nw is,does he hav a right to decide on his brothers children marriage when his broda is stil aliv,just because he is a senior?pls i need advic

I sense a troubled family...
My advice is that you give them time to sort themselves out including the girl in question.
Just recoil back into your shell and maintain absolute silence..
Is the daughter for sale?
Once you want to embark on a journey to enjoy a vacation in Dubai and the flight was cancelled due to bad weather, would you rather risk your life by using a private jet?
Life is a careful journey. Thread with caution.
Tell your girl to give you time to think..
This issue of expensive list is dehumanizing..
Is she made of GOLD?
Beware of such families please..
Gold digging raise to power hundred.
If you want to go stubborn, get her pregnant then.
But prepare for war too...

kennygee:
How about guys?

This dude fixed a date for introduction with my friend, they had been dating for 4years, her family new his family, his family always treated her well.

The day of the introduction, guy no show, him number no dey go.

She kept calling his family members, they didn't pick. Only for her to see on facebook that he had an introduction with a strange girl the same day he was spos to come to her house.

Her mentality changed after the heart break, she chose Jesus.

They must ve found something at the ninetieth hour!

YoungBlackRico:
[color=#CC6600]Lol, I'm not down with this sh*t. Suggesting that Ladies should say yes to every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes their way just to avoid their younger ones getting married before them is wrong IMO. How many of those youngsters are able to keep their marriages these days anyway.[/color]

[color=#848b79]©YBR[/color]

Tom, Dick and Harry with a roof over his head and makes a decent living is better than a time you will start toasting an Okada man or giving him green lights...Have you ever disgraced yourself before?

No matter how ugly or beautiful a lady thinks she is, one man must have shown interest in her once or twice in her prime..sometimes the difference is just about her making a choice or looking at that direction with interest.
Some just reject bluntly every suitor that came their way while expecting the dream guy that never came..Others allowed anger to spoil the whole show for their next step in life.

Onos, Steve Crown and Frank Edwards
I love Ada too

dingbang:
This issue of marriage is getting out of hand.. Although your write up makes sense but its also important to understand that Life doesn't go the way we plan it to be.

I understand your point Sir.
Am human and its good to observe everything going on in your environment.. Am a relationship counselor too. Its my niche so don't take it personal anyway.
Man is a higher animal. The ability to see problems and profer adequate solutions makes us who we are. Thank you for your comment

We are all humans and feeling empathic is not bad especially to a trend affecting the opposite sex..
Maybe it has been there and nobody ever noticed.
Maybe the social media made it very obvious and more glaring..
Maybe am more concerned because all my sisters got lucky and none is still trapped in spinsterhood despite being younger ones..
Its something I notice everyday and feel bad...
Are there less men in our society than women?
The last thing you wish is to have a 36-40 year old spinster having interest in you in a work place... You would prefer to resign especially when she sits next to you in the office...
The desperation is rife. It flows like the river that doesnt know its boundaries.
Well, yesterday evening I was about to board an Okada and saw this light skinned beautiful lady probably a mum as I assumed at first sight alight from the same bike I wanted to use..I wanted to look for another Okada as the Lady was wasting time searching her bag for change to pay. But for the Okada urging me to wait, I would have changed my mind.
The lady then started asking the Okada man why he doesn't visit their area again to see them.
The Okada man didn't reply and kept smiling sheepishly..
I knew something was up. When I finally entered and he drove, I asked him why he didn't reply that beautiful mum.
The Okadamn was like:- "which mum?, that lady is desperately searching and am just avoiding her joor"
That statement sent goose bumps all over my body.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing..
To make it sink in, I asked a second question:-
Is she a graduate?
The Okada man replied :- yes
In my mind I was like:- So na Okada man she come dey give green light?
That level of desperation is dangerous and dehumanizing!
I noticed she was being unnecessarily nice even smiling at me.
The Okada man continued:-
"As you see her so, she dey go evening prayer house coz today na Friday.
How I knew her was through her younger sisters who are all married with four kids each"
Immediately the man said this, I knew what started the lady's problems.
Never you in your family as a lady allow a younger sister marry before you..its more like a bad omen..
I know more than 10 of my primary school female colleagues in this same situation.. I know friends both family and pals alike ...Younger sister married and yet no suitor at 28-36..
I never said there is no chance again for them but its seems very shallow and hard.
The truth is that men are wise enough to ask themselves pertinent questions like:-
How come the younger ones are already taken?
Could something be wrong with her?
Whatever the case maybe, always say yes to early suitors especially when your younger sisters ain't got no chill because once you enter the broken hours of spinsterhood, life becomes miserable.
It never rains but pours..... Aroh David 2017

I only have one question..
Where is she from?

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MissCuppy:
Lolz at number 4.

Someone cannot talk in peace again.

LOL

Amarabae:
Nonsense. what kind of writeup is this?

The type that clearly confronts your idiocies

Pato23:
Op

Your head big pass my own for all I care

mykel25:
When will all these boys n girls stop forming relationship experts? I don't blame them.... It obvious that jamb is less difficult than it was in my days cuz diz OP sounded like a school cert holder mtcheeeeeeeeew!

Shut up jare...negative minded jealous piggie

KillerBeauty:
So writing about women not getting husbands is your hobby

Okay

Continue

As long as that's where your priority lies

Hubby ni, topic ko.
Pls go back to your dictionary to spot the difference..
Teacher!!

Noylax:
The senseless.

Oh is your sister amongst them too?
Pained nigga!

Alondrah:
Now you are pained

Not at all...it's just the way I talk to people like you any day..nothing changed.
I repeat use your brakes well as you zoom off Barbie

Alondrah:
why should I be? I'm not in anyway related to you that I should feel ashamed for you.

See this one....
Anyone that this doesn't affect will just pass but your type will try to fight out that guilt...
Take a super bike off my thread barbie!

Alondrah:
Another loads of crap

Pained...

Iseoluwani:
In simi voice
Ma bimi jamb question

Simi wasn't a Dundy or fool but you talk like one here

KillerBeauty:
Okay
You guys have started again

Face your Job if you have one and leave women and their matter alone

Its just a write up....why taking it personal if it doesn't affect you..
The last time I checked, writing is just a hobby

olureignforever:
Testing spree.

Holy pikin

Iseoluwani:
It can't make fp jo

Who ask you?

Nwodosis:
Most married women have these qualities, how come they got married?

Its obvious they were hidden till after marriage

1. The uneducated:- By this I include the half, fairly educated and the drop outs..we now live in a civilized age and anything short of complete education makes it hard for men to ask how your market is selling.. It means your economic support is considered non-available. I know a very beautiful fair lady in my street that could win the MBGN hands down. Very hard working and skillful but yet, no man is seen making moves just because of not being educated.
2. The Short Tempered:- Hmmm, who wants a quickie for a relationship?.. I once dated one and it lasted for just one week... Lol.. They can be very nice but the issue of temper hinders men from sumouning that courage to make a proposal.
These set of ladies don't know how to call it a day when they nag or want to drive home their points. Its always their own side that must be done.
3. The Double- Daters:- See be it online double-dating, offline, work place or even marine boyfriend, the demon controlling these set of ladies life is on a killing spree..How can one lady be telling Seven guys that she loves them at the same time?...rolls eyes....Yes, it happens.Many ladies out there are guilty of this... Don't you know a good husband is God- sent?...Before a sensible man/woman wants to settle down, he fasts and prays like me and God will never direct him/her to a double-dater...They re just badness brewed into one bottle of rum!
4. The talkatives:- Most ladies talk a lot and don't even hid it in public... Damn!
The last thing a serious man wants is your stereo speaker mouth.
5. The Unrepentant Gossips:- Some in this category get lucky if this is their only fault but some do not especially when you combine two or three out of this list into one character of you!...only you?
6. The Unpardonably Lazy:- Some ladies re just damn lazy ...ewww. You find them in most popular cities in Nigeria... Lagos, Abuja and especially Port-Harcourt. The type that will cook only once in a month and stock her fridges with cooked food even rice?...Jeez....My dear, no man wants to feed like a dog..there is a big difference between capital B and the leg of cow stamped on the sand...Fresh cooked foods taste better no matter what..
7. The Religious bigots:- These set of ladies started being holy from the womb..they re no-nonsense ladies and don't joke with their church fellowships.
When you get close to them, its an empty tide you meet. Their character are mostly dark, evil, thwarted, stereotyped or laced with stupidity of maximum equilibrium.
8. The Prostitute Minded:- Slay mamas, IG queens, Snapchat divas and more... These Olosho oriented ladies don't know the evil day that awaits them at age 35 and above... Some get lucky though but its a thin margin..The rest wallow in the wilderness of self delusion that they don't need a husband. Who is even looking forward to wife them?

ADVICE:- Its not bad to have one fault that keeps you off a gender attraction. Having three, four or five of the aforementioned traits calls for urgent counseling...
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ultron12345:
rubbish, did they beg u to take the job, did u not read the terms of the employment contract before agreeing to it

No mind am