₦airaland Forum

I agree that girls who r courageous enof to know what they want and go for it r to be commended, but not enof guys r comfortable to be around such girls for too long.

'Knew a guy once who LOVED a bold girl, confident, smart, extrovert and all and actually dated one who was bold enof to say to him she tot he was really good-looking and she would love that they got married, today however he is married to someone u can comfortably say is 'shy', calm and submissive. Whatever did my 'bold' sista do wrong?

Fact: most nigerian guys still don't know what to make of gurls who r not afraid to grab the bull by d horns. in all frankness.

really good points, not that i saw anything wrong chatting wif friends on my fb n 2go, but my hubby saw everything in heaven n earth wrong wif it. So for peace sake, I just quit d whole thing. Sad, but wot could i do. Now i cnt even facebk properly, (not complainin though)

Nope, i don't think so. Someone's got be SENIOR and another JUNIOR. In human psychology, dat means physically and genetically(life span) more mature. Marrying your age mate, even if he is mentally more mature than you, still doesn't cut it for me. But dats me though.

^^^^ im actually not referring to me, I'm beautiful n happily married 3 years now. I'm actually concerned about my best friend whom i consider to be 'd most beautiful woman in d world!' seriously, she is stunning but d  thing being she has problems havin a very serious relatnship.

And i know, happiness is not measured in terms of marriage   

How is it possible dat a very beautiful girl is surrounded by lots of guys who r attracted to her but none has yet asked her hand in marriage(takin it to d next level), yet her not very fine girlfriends(pardon) r walking down d aisle every Saturday!
Just curious

promise rings,engagement rings,wedding rings, anniversary rings are all symbols of a commitment and act as reminders. although u can cheat wit a wedding ring on ur finger, i tell u, d guilt will build up until u take it off.
be advised, rings prick our consciences.

A compulsive complainer!
if a man whines and complains forever and ever about how he hates his job, how his boss picks on him,how d car just won't start, how the economy is too harsh, how food just don't taste right after 3 days of continuous heating, how Chelsea continues drawing matches, then we have a problem.
but with love, i guess u can encourage such a partner to embrace d benefits of a more positive mindset.
merci.

Experts say pun has become a huge factor in relationship breakdown. ‘In the last few years a remarkable change has taken place in Britain and many other western countries. In 2011, huge numbers of men and women are looking at explicit sexual material on the internet. Statistics indicate that sex is by far the most popular search term on the web. And recent American statistics show that:

• every second, 3,075.64 dollars are spent on pun
• every second, 28,250 users are viewing pun
• in the US, a new pun video is completed every 39 minutes.

However, there are increasing worries about the availability of pun and the degree to which it demeans women. Many sex and relationship therapists are now concerned about how indecency can skew what people expect in their own bedrooms. Many women are anxious and upset about being asked to do things within a sexual relationship that they feel are extreme and unnatural – but which they know are activities that their partners perceive as normal because of seeing them on the internet. These activities are likely to include the man ejecting onto the woman's face and super-perversion - both of which are now seen as 'routine' by some men who view indecency(pun).

Nowadays, there are a number of women's groups on the internet who are strongly opposed to all indecency. They feel that it's insulting and degrading to all females. One correspondent told me: 'indecency(pun) turns women into anonymous meat.' On the other hand, many women in sexual relationships will – on occasion – quite happily watch some forms of indecency with their male, or female, partners. And a growing number of women who are single, or away from home on business, will access indecency themselves in order to self-service to gain sexual relief and have a good night's sleep.
So, there are wide differences in how people feel about indecency, and it seems likely that there is going to be more and more debate about what indecency is doing to our society.

Can indecency(pun) be part of a normal relationship?--Our answer to that question would be a qualified 'yes'.There is no doubt that many couples experiment with the use of indecency(pun) as an aid to perking up their sex lives, for example by sometimes watching an explicit DVD together. And sex education videos are often arousing as well as informative.Also, a lot of women like erotic stories. Some females prefer to read alone to get themselves turned on. Others like their man to read to them in bed.So for some couples, using indecency and loveware works well.
What problems can indecency cause?  There are unfortunate consequences from the new, widespread availability of indecency , one of which is  Raising false expectations about sex and body image: Erotic material tends to give men and women impossibly high 'targets' to aim for in the sexual field.

• Young men get the idea that they should have huge manlinesses and be able to climax again and again, carrying on all night.
• Young women get misleading notions about what their bodies should look like. They don't realise that the pictures of the models are heavily air-brushed so their bodies – and especially their womanly openings – look impossibly neat and tidy.
• Some younger men are surprised by what most of us would regard as normal pubic hair. They have seen so much indecency imagery where the women have little or no hair that they think this is the norm.
• Young men assume it is acceptable to expel on their partner's face or bosoms. This sort of material is commonplace in indecency, leading many men to think it's routine behaviour in the bedroom.

Are relationship problems because of indecency(pun) common? We would say that a problem with indecency is almost exclusively a male thing. In our practice we have never seen a woman who was addicted to indecency or who preferred it to having sex with a partner. But we have received a lot of complaints from women who are distressed that their male partners no longer want to make love to them, preferring to spend hours wanking in front of indecency.
What to do if indecency(pun) is a problem  -- It is a good idea if couples discuss their attitude to indecency early on in their relationship and agree some house rules about how much indecency is viewed and of what type. People often find this difficult, but communication is generally the key to keeping the habit within normal bounds. If it is discussed before it becomes a huge problem, then the conversation can be calm and a woman can explain what works for her and what she might object to. Such a conversation could also include the sexual relationship in general and could include the question of whether either party would like more variety – and if so, what.  Sometimes, women may know their man uses indecency to self-service, but they will decide not to broach the subject. This is understandable, but if you avoid discussing it until it becomes a problem, talking may no longer be effective. A man who is addicted to indecency(pun) may promise to change and to stop viewing internet images, but he probably won't.  He may assure his partner that he loves her, but he won't stop accessing indecency. He may even break down and cry and swear that he longs to give up all the indecency(pun), but it's unlikely he will manage this without professional help.    (Excerpt from article by Dr David Delvin, GP and Christine Webber, psychotherapist)

What are d challenges of working for a younger boss and how can you manage it? *a neighbour i know just couldn't imagine it and started showing some resistance and superior airs, now he is having SERIOUS problems at the workplace.
Any tips to help him cope with his work situation?

@MRbrownJAY @ iyatrustee @annita19, helpful insights, THANKS.

To those very polite contributors, useful tots.

@Godmother, if only u understand,but i get it,

wot if it is worth a lot in monetary terms? better still u need d cash rite away

I tot dis section will be appropriate for dis thread,

Is it impolite to sell something you received as a gift? maybe a gift from a b/f or hubby, wot's ur take, pls?

@post
i think that your efforts at trying help younger ones/mothers is commendable, pls keep it up.

naturally a pregnant woman must do all that is within her power to avoid stress-triggers. Studies have shown that high levels of stress can have adverse effect on unborn babies.

Strenous exercises, very tiring long walks, standing on her feet for too long, lifting heavy objects and even doing the wrong kinds of exercise especially in her first trimester, are likely to cause many kinds of discomfort and distressing situations.

Even caffeine and antacid medicines should be avoided during pregnancy as it hinders the absorption of iron. If however, the pregnant mother does need to take any antacids (which she might need to during the third trimester due to heartburn), she should ensure she sticks to the recommended dosage.

Rest is especially important for expectant mothers whether in her first or third trimester.

money issues, lack of trust, kids, in-laws, work(although i cannot understand why) etc

@topic
no.

there are laws regarding marriage btw Cath.& Pent. i suggest u ponder on them and determine ur next course of action(which is usually what ur heart will tell u.) Personally, i think nothing should ever come in d way of love, but just so u can sleep at nite, approach ur future parents-in-law and have an open honest conversation about it with them(respectfully too), luckily ur fiancee will stand behind u in this. keep an open, positive and stress-free mind all d while, laws are flexible.

@topic
i'm of the belief dat opposites attract, and that goes for love as well, anyway, you never can tell ow d kids will look, science can b wrong sometimes

, with this few tips. It was quite useful for my friend (a new parent) so i am thinking some Nlanders will find it helpful too.(http://quazen.com/shopping/how-to-help-a-shy-child-make-friends/)


--- but if you think the author missed out something, kindly drop them a hint in the comment box below the article(that's what i do whenever i read most of these online articles.) Thanks.

@ chaircover
you r right, i mean if only there was technology to control all these 'uncontrolables'(Lord forgive my talk!)

Dear Nlanders,
i would like to know if it is a must to have children when married?
Can't husband and wife find true happiness and fulfillment in their home/marriage without having children? i mean many FERTILE couples r deciding to be 'childfree', is this okay? what do u guys think?

Gosh, i really have to clarify something here for those who don't know, the poster is FEMALE!yep, F-E-M-A-L-E.and i think that no matter how handsome or sexy a guy's body is, exposing it indecently to a gurl is downright degrading, no offense intended

with all the information, media exposure and peer group influence, parenting will become a real task.but at what age is it okay to allow ur pretty daughter have a boyfriend when the pressure comes. for my girl, i am thinking 16, but is it too early? your kind response is very,very welcome!