₦airaland Forum

#5 Because you know the struggle of living up to your parents’ expectations.

#4 Because you have been threatened with this at least once.

#3 At one point or another you’ve opened an ice cream tub, only to find stew.

#2 Again you were born to be your parents’ little helper.

#1 You were born to be your parents’ little helper.

goingape1:
yes ladies can wear this because ya all have fish brain.

Nigga Really??

Please can someone give me the name of this style??


Ladies can you rock this?

Greycious:
what is condom

Come

Out

Now

Dance

On

Manhood

#10 (OF 10) WORKING FOR TROJAN HAS PERKS

When looking ahead to a suitable career choice, a condom manufacturer is probably not on the top of your list. Who wants to sit around and analyze rubber crank-wrappers all day long? Apparently, there is a spermicidal lubricated rainbow on the other side. Trojan actually has 20 to 30 people on a bed panel, who take the newly tested condoms home and report back their experiences. Nothing is more liberating than telling your boss about the masochistic sex you had last night, while wearing a ball-gag.

#9 (OF 10) MAGNUM CONDOMS ARE A MARKETING SCHEME

There’s nothing worse than waiting to buy condoms behind the dude who just picked up some Trojan Magnums. What is in those packages. Was it just a regulation diving suit? What kind of package does a guy need to be sporting to actually need this sausage-tarp? Pick yourself up some Magnums to impress your lady next time, because it turns out that Magnum condoms aren’t that much bigger than standard ones… it’s actually a huge marketing scheme. Now all guys have an opportunity to trick the ladies into believing their guy has a penis that would make Zeus cry.

#8 (OF 10) DO YOU DELIVER LUBE TOO?

The campus at Harvard has always been a wonderful place filled with the brightest minds conceptualizing the most forward thinking of ideas. Ideas have come out of that college that have revolutionized the way we live. Some of the society’s finest minds celebrate this Alma Mater. It’s no surprise that in this atmosphere another great idea was to happen in the acid washed days of 1985. Some Harvard students actually started a condom delivery service. It would need a slogan. Something catchy and something worthy of the mental champions who walk the halls of this legendary educational institute. They finally decided on the slogan “We’ll Come Before You Do!” Staggeringly brilliant.

#7 (OF 10) IS THAT A CONDOM? YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO REMAIN SLIENT

As much as we complain about condoms today, it is easy to forget how many money-draining toddlers they help prevent. They definitely help dudes safely guide their dongs into the trusting love-canals of many a lucky lady. It’s hard to think (he he… hard) that as recently as 1936 slippin’ on a rubber was actually illegal. Now you can say you for sure no the meaning of the term “double negative.”

#6 (OF 10) THE CIA’S COLD WAR PENIS ENVY PLAN

The Cold War was a truly dark time between us and the people of Russia. There were spies on both sides trying to pry as much information out of their enemies that they could. Much of what went on during this conflict were insane mind games between the two people. When you are f**king with another country’s head… you really want to mess them up good. The CIA knew right where to hit them… during their hairy, vodka-fueled Instruments slapping. The CIA actually had a plan to drop gigantic condoms labeled “medium” onto Russian soil to make the Russian women think of Americans as more virile. American schlongs had penetrated the soviet brains with the truest of fears.

#5 (OF 10) 1836 CONDOMS ARE THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES

If you were alive in 1836, chances are you were pretty bummed out. There were no Yoga pants or female Jello-wrestling events. Style wasn’t at the height of comfort by any means. There was no air conditioning, so everyone pretty much smelled like a ripe ass on a foot. True happiness in those times must’ve seemed like a cruel myth. The condoms weren’t anything to smile about either. They were made of vulcanized rubber, fitted by a doctor and were made to be reused. There was no such thing as a dishwasher in those days, so puttin’ your manhood in one of those things after it had been used a couple of times was probably similar to when Indiana Jones had to put his hand in that bug infested shaft in ‘The Temple of Doom.’

#4 (OF 10) THE WORD “SCUMBAG” MEANS CONDOM

You’ve heard it in movies. You may have even said it a few times. The word scumbag, by today’s standards seems like a pretty mild insult to bestow upon someone who has crossed you. As it turns out, it’s a pretty graphic, disgusting and super insulting word to have in your repertoire. In the late sixties, the term actually meant condom. So now you can go around calling people scumbags and diabolically laughing to yourself in a lonely basement, knowing that you just called someone a used condom.

#3 (OF 10) OLYMPIANS HAVE OLYMPIC AMOUNTS OF SEX

Just because that Czech female shot-putter has bigger feet than you do, doesn’t mean she isn’t deserving of a grunt-filled trip to Pound Town. Olympians have been focusing on conditioning their bodies to be the best at what they do. No drugs, very little booze or other fun stuff to do… so how then do these folks get their rocks off? They do it by getting their rocks off. At the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, there was so much bangin’ going on that the 7,000 athletes burned through all 100,000 free condoms too quickly. That’s 14 condoms per athlete. They actually had to send in an emergency shipment to quell the onset of a giant legion of genetically souped up muscle-monster spawn.

#2 (OF 10) CONDOMS FAIL IN INDIA, DUE TO THEIR TINY JUNK

India has long been the most populated country on the planet. It’s apparent that those people like to have sweaty sexuals. India does have modern contraception, in the way of condoms, so why the hell are there so many people. It turns out that condoms have a huge fail rate because, Indian men aren’t ‘big’ enough to fill one. They slip off all the time, but overpopulation is a small price to pay to live in a country where women don’t know about huge d*cks!

#1 (OF 10) SWEDEN PROTECTS IT’S WIENERS, AT ALL COSTS

What do you know about Sweden? You know that they produce seriously copious amounts of tall, sexy blondes. All those sexy blondes runnin around causing the scent of their Swede-beavers to ride the wind and catch the attention of Swede-boners. The country couldn’t simply stand by and watch it’s country literally f**k itself to death! Nope, they implemented “condom ambulances” to distribute rubbers to Swede-Bros in what they describe as “promising situations.”

#9 SCOTCHGUARD

When 3M chemist Patsy Sherman was working in the lab during 1952, she noticed something peculiar. When a bit of fluorochemical rubber spilled onto a co-workers shoe, it would not come off, and also did not change the color of the shoe where it landed. It was noted that the area that was affected was then able to repel water, oil and other liquids without damaging the material. After teaming up with fellow inventor Samuel Smith, her work ultimately became known as Scotchguard.

#8 CIRCULAR SAW

This one is a departure from some of the inventions we might think as benefiting women more than men. What’s more manly that a fierce, screaming circular saw tearing through wood? Well, a lot of things, but you get the idea. After Tabitha Babbitt observed lumber workers using the old two-man saw she thought making the blade circular would be a better idea. She played with the idea herself by making her own circular blade and attaching it to her spinning wheel! Unfortunately, the Shaker community she was a part of did not approve of the idea of applying for a patent, but they were quick to use her invention to make things easier for themselves.

#7 LIQUID PAPER

They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and we’re beginning to see how various problems that were most often encountered by women were solved by enterprising women who knew there had to be a better way. Since typists were once mostly women, it should not be surprising that a woman named Bette Nesmith Graham corrected her typing mistakes by covering them with white tempera paint. After toiling in her kitchen to perfect the formula, she patented Liquid Paper in 1958. She later sold her company to Gillette in 1979 for a whopping $47.5 million!

#6 DISHWASHER

Here again we have a woman that came up with a brilliant idea to help make what many considered a “woman’s job” a whole lot easier. Believe it or not, the dishwasher was first patented back in 1886 after Josephine Cochrane came up with the idea by combining a wire rack, a boiler, a wheel and high pressure water.

#5 DISPOSABLE DIAPERS

You don’t have to dwell on it too long to see how this one makes perfect sense. Let’s face it, when it comes to diapers, it’s the women that traditionally had to deal with one of the darker sides of child rearing most of the time. Marion Donovan’s idea was to make clean-up a bit easier by covering the diaper with part of a shower curtain for her initial design. Donovan hit the jackpot when she sold her idea to Keko Corporation for a cool $1 million. A few years later she came up with the entirely disposable version.

#4 WINDSHIELD WIPERS

Although it’s hard to believe, drivers back in 1903 thought it would be safer to drive with rain or snow obscuring their vision than to periodically activate a lever to operate manual windshield wipers. Mary Anderson’s original invention was improved upon by another female inventor in 1917 who came up with a roller-operated automatic version. Still, it took until 1920 before automobile makers realized their benefits, and Cadillac began including them with every car they produced.

#3 MONOPOLY

It would probably be nearly impossible to account for all the hours people have enjoyed playing this legendary board game. It was originally called The Landlord’s Game back in 1904 when it was patented, and later became known as Monopoly when Charles Darrow reworked the idea and sold it to Parker Brothers some 30 years late

#2 KEVLAR

Considering all the safety devices that have been made with this super strong material (including bullet-proof vests for police), a great many lives have likely been saved by this invention. The patent for this amazing material was granted in 1966 when chemist Stephanie Kwolek came up with the formula for Kevlar back in 1966 while working to improve fiber for use in automobile tires.

Yes, when it comes to inventions, men seem to get all the credit. Alexander Graham Bell, The Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, and the list goes on and on. Well, there are quite a few women in history who have come up with useful inventions as well. Here’s a good opportunity for all the ladies to bask in the knowledge of some things that were invented by women.

#1 PAPER BAG

Think of how activities like grocery shopping were improved by the invention of the paper bag. Putting all those items from the market in a box or some other rigid container would have made them much more difficult to transport in the car, or even carry home on the street. A cotton mill worker named Margaret Knight invented a machine to revolutionize the paper bag by making them flat with a square bottom way back in 1868.

10. HUGH GRANT

The famous Bridget Jones star has a Golden Globe and a BAFTA in his kitty, but also what he owns is an English Literature from the prestigious University of Oxford.

9. HUGH JACKMAN

The famous Wolverine star has a Communications degree from the Sydney’s University of Technology and thus is a qualified journalist.

8. NATALIE PORTMAN

The Academy Award winning actress is fluent with English, Japanese, French and Hebrew. Apart from being one of the most beautiful actresses of Hollywood, she holds a BA in Psychology degree from University of Harvard.

7. DAVID DUCHOVNY

This star from the hugely successful TV series X-Files and Californication has a couple of Ivy League degrees. He has a Bachelor’s of Arts in English Literature from Princeton University and a Master’s in the same from Yale University. He’s not done yet, it’s reported that he’s perusing his PhD.

6. KEN JEONG

You won’t believe that Mr. Chow from the Hangover series is a licensed medical professional. He did his internal medicine residency in the New Orleans and also practices often in California.