₦airaland Forum

Dimaya:
I didn't link the video to address everyone. There's no counsel or advice that will be applicable to every person.

The original post is focused on single, young men aged 25-40 who are financially capable of supporting a family. If you're not in this category, the post isn't directed at you.

If you are in this target demographic, and it is important for you to have children, then you're better off marrying a wife who is within her reproductive window which peaks at age 25. Don't buy into the narrative that age doesn't matter when it comes to childbearing. It does. Every OBGYN and assisted reproductive physician will tell you that the female age is the single most important determinant of fertility.

If you choose to marry an older woman, you have opened up the door to the possibility of fertility treatment.


FOR WOMEN,

You're valuable and don't feel under pressure to get married early. You can choose to prioritize your career but there are tradeoffs with every decision. If you wait until late thirties, there's the risk of age-related infertility and congenital anomalies in the children (should you choose to have children late).

Your decisions are yours to make. The speaker in the original video just points out the drawbacks of delaying childbearing.

I hope this explains my position on the post and video. I am not bashing any woman. I am not saying older women are not worthy of love.

I strongly believe some Nigerian/African men are your low hanging fruits because you can't repeat this crap before a Caucasian audience and you wouldn't end up looking so f.o.o.l.i.s.h!

Does the present Nigeria have an institutionalized health and social support system that would guarantee a lady of 25 years and below who is yet to gain financial stability that if she has children there are sure health care services, if the husband "throws her out of his house" or walks away from the marriage, leaving her and the children behind, what happens to her and the children?

You are too one directional and I will not to associate with your "professionalism" and your health issues communication, you certainly skipped some lectures in school!

MasterJayJay:
Where is the savage?
Official data from recognized international and national organization says north has a high level of illiteracy.

The FG still regard the core North as educationally disadvantaged because they have the data.

Dimaya:
I am not talking to women. I am talking to young men who want to have children and want to avoid reproductive issues and expensive fertility treatments.

If you had a brother who had to choose between an older woman with IVF treatment and a 23 year old with natural conception, which would you advise?

Women are free to choose what to do with their bodies. But young men need to be made aware of the reality of the female reproductive window, so they can factor that information into decision-making when selecting a wife, particularly if they want children.

I am not speaking in hypothetical situations. Right now, I have four male friends in their
Forties who have spent a combined 100milliom on fertility treatments. It's all they lament about when we talk. They all bought into the social media bs on age gaps and married women in their mid-thirties. Now, after almost 8 years of marriage and millions in healthcare bills, one of them impregnated a 24 year old without his wife's knowledge. He wishes he had just married a much younger woman instead of marrying his wife in her mid-thirties. And he was advised then, but felt it wasn't so much of a big deal.

So armed with that information, why would anyone advise any man to get with a woman whose fertility window is almost over? Why?

Men don't talk about this issues because it's frowned upon and they are shamed if they complain.

My 2 brothers married their wives when the women were 30 and 32, they have both given birth to my nieces and nephews.

I come from a family where the females marry from the age of 28 and above (across South East, women from Imo state are known for marrying later because many of dem like to finish school, work, support their birth family before getting married or having a child outside marriage). So a woman being in her 30s, does not automatically make her a woman with IVF treatment or can you provide me a data reflecting that women from Imo state are the highest users of IVF treatment in Nigeria.....you are so limiting in your reasoning!

What is your definition of a "young man"?

You think as if all fertility issue is female based and given that the young men you keep hyping about, that none of them have fertility issues of their own.

Don't downplay male infertility and make it more about females or even disregard the issues surrounding "old sperm".

Dimaya:
A single cycle of IVF (complete with tests, medication, extraction) can cost between 9million to 22million depending on the facility and country.

Why would you propose such to young people just starting out their lives? It is grossly unfair.

Not every woman has sights on getting married or start having children before 25! Individuals have their preferred timelines and we shouldn't "weep on their behalf".

They have a right and option to delay conception and that MUST BE RESPECTED.

Just as sperms are stored for later use, so are eggs. Women can comfortably have children when they are ready and not pressured into it when they are not mentally and physically ready to go through that phase!

Dave444:
Hello sir please am a student of media and communication in glasgow .What career progression can help me to work in government in the uk? Thanks

I work in the children social care sector because my field is in clinical child psychology, I wouldn't know how media and communication can get you an opening in the public sector. I should believe your department should offer employability programs and openings for their students.

Even after leaving school, my uni still send me job openings in the field of Psychology.

Ramon92:
The Brits have maintained their culture over the centuries and it's the core of their values.
They modified the christian values of the Roman Catholics to suit their culture and to conquer, colonise and maintain control over their conquered territories.
The King must have performed their cultural Pagan rites and rituals before this public show.

It beats me how many people who claim to be educated are demonising their own traditions and can't see through this charade and clinging dearly to their mental chains.

As long as Africans still believe the nonsense they've fed us about out traditions and way of life over the years through colonisation, Africa will continue to be at the bottom barrel in the global scheme of things..

I'm waiting for one of these our popular pastors to preach how the British version of Christianity is possessed..

Let me cite an example, the Kenyan Catholic Church is more reflective of the traditional African way of worship, there is so much dancing and waving of hands, they have children who stand before the altar to dance during Mass and they are called liturgical dancers, during offertory they dance leading some adults who are carrying offertory boxes and baskets of fruits and vegetables (which symbolizes farm produce) to the altar.

During some special events, Calabashes emittting smoke is in the mix and you see some young ladies carrying it on their heads dancing to the altar like maidens during a procession to a shrine....even when Pope Francis visited Kenya, the Kenyan Catholic Church made sure they showcased the inculturation of the Faith.

Politics Aside.....

Dimaya:
I am not attacking women above 30. And I knew he is a guy that's why I responded that way.

Go to any fertility clinic. Speak to any OBGYN and they'll tell you- the biggest issue with infertility today is that women are delaying childbearing.

Women are coming to the clinics at ages when they should have completed their families.

My counsel is for the men. Not women. I believe everyone is deserving of love. Both young and old. But, if you're a young man who wants children, it's better to choose a wife 25 and below. It markedly reduces your risks of female infertility and gives you a window to address treatment even if there are issues.

Just as IVF have become common around the world, so would oocyte cryopreservation (the preservation of the eggs just as sperms are being preserved) become a widely known practice.

I have a colleague who is presently 31 and had a oocyte cryopreservation years back, she says would have her first child in the next 3 years.... technology is also providing opportunities for women to have greater control on reproduction and I have advised some women, to look into it as their back up.

yarimo:
that was immediately after obi visit president elect TINUBU for appointment

Then you, upon all you spewed here, you ain't getting any appointment for your "effort" while we read those higher on your ladder of sycophancy, hammering..just make sure you secure your 30k monthly wages.

Talking about a "better Nigeria" now, is very superficial.

Dimaya:
This is not a diss report. I am not trying to pressure women into early marriages. The video is self-explanatory.

As the speaker in the video stated, " there's nothing as painful as wanting children and not having it" I am surrounded by multiple childless friends on their 40s whose wives got married in their late 30s. It's becoming sort of a silent epidemic.

I only posted the link for young men to watch and take heed. For men who want children, it's important that they marry women who won't have fertility issues. And older women in late 30s have fertility issues. Just go to any fertility clinic to witness by yourself. Everyday, they're told," you waited too late to start a family"

And women are not to blame in all cases. The economy is hard, most people don't get their earnings up in time to support a family. This is not to diss women. But if you're a young woman in early twenties, look for a man who can support a family and get married on time. While your fertility window is still open.

And for men, I'm only providing insight to govern reproductive decision-making. And it's just the fact that most women in their thirties have difficulty conceiving. If you haven't seen it first hand, you won't realize how common place it is becoming.

And when we offer valuable counsel on a public forum, people are quick to assume we're denigrating women older than 25. That is not my intention.

With excruciating poverty in Nigeria, how many unmarried men of age, are so very eager to marry and birth children?

Nice one.

Dimaya:
It's important for women to prioritize starting their families on time. You'd be surprised at the number of families who want to have children but can't because the women waited too long to get married and start having children.

Some people can have children at age 40 but we all know it's easier for a 20year old to get pregnant than a 40yr old.

Fertility issues is not exclusively female.

Starting a family in time, are they going to asexually reproduce?

"I got frustrated yesterday and wondered if I've erectile dysfunction at this my age, thoughts of going into the seminary flooded my mind, funny, don't laugh ohhhh"..

And you think if you inform the vocation director that you have ED, you will be admitted into the seminary? . No, you won't be accepted because you don't have the Priestly vocation but trying to hide your problem!

Zaheertyler:
Sometimes me self no understand my people
I still think it’s because we lack a central power unlike others who have kings and emirs
Umunna and umuada no fit defend the whole region


He bleeped up yes
But who never Bleep up before?
Cover him na still your brother no matter wetin sha

Cover what?

A crime he committed in the UK?

Even he is from Sokoto state, the Sultan of Sokoto can not change the court's ruling.

In the course of work here in the UK, I have had to report many Nigerian parents and it is none of my business that they are fellow Nigerians as ignorance of the law is not an excuse.

His surname is Ekweremadu, not Ikeremadu!

Overwhelming majority of igbos are least bothered about him just as I am. The insane wealth he has accumulated at the expense of true service to his people and how he behaved like a tin god while in power, should be his consolation.

It is not about being the worst politician or not, he is just not being liked. At least, we should have seen many groups from his hometown being vocal about his situation.

Have you queried how Uzor Kalu won his Senatorial seat while APC still didn't pull the numbers for Tinubu in the same Abia State? If the likes of Ikpeazu, Okorocha, Nnamani, Uba, Uzodinma etc find themselves in similar situations, overwhelming majority of Igbos would be least bothered and these men know that for sure.

BRIMBRAM:
Yes if you say Western education. I agree with you.

Western education is what is across board in Nigeria as any other, leans towards religion.

blabulu2000:
Which investment..... what is the budget of Education in Anambra state since 1999...

Though I doubt the result list being circulated is that of 2023 result

The "budget" catapulted Anambra state from number 26 in WAEC performance to number one under Obi's administration as Governor and made the FG allocate Anambra children the highest cut off mark in National common entrance examination.

Advise your State governor to go consult that woman that was Obi's then commissioner of education, who delivered Obi's vision for education in Anambra state......the woman understands the assignments.😎😎😎

Anambra state has the highest cut off mark of 139 in the National common entrance examination....what do you expect?😎

LivingSage:
Ask , that's Yemi kale Data, we're not taking them as well.

Besides, Southwest is the least region in Nigeria that involves in educational malpractices.

So you can't use that as benchmark

I mentioned Federal Ministry of Education and JAMB, not Yemi kale.

These links should give you some insights.

https://saharareporters.com/2021/07/05/nigerian-government-puts-cut-marks-unity-school-134-average-south-east-low-2-marks

https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/261340-exclusive-jamb-report-reveals-four-nigerian-states-leading-medical-education-five-years.html

LivingSage:

Is this generalization? Then you're not rational thinker

South-West still remain the most educated, literate region in Nigeria today

You need to verify from the Federal Ministry of Education, which States has the top three highest cut off mark for admission into Federal Government Colleges for the past 15 years, then verify from JAMB which region has the highest number of their indigenes gaining University admissions across Nigeria.....you can go further to check out which state has produced the highest number of medical doctors in Nigeria in the past 10 years.....Data is life.

adekolaelect:
Mr know it all cute your cake and eat it

"There is no right nor wrong answer".

vastolord4:
In her 50s? I just pray my wife still keeps fit at that age!

Be her motivation, so she partners with you in a lifestyle that promotes fitness.

adekolaelect:
Oga stop attacking the messenger work on massage . No one is above health challenges but many of you talk as if you are not human BCS of hatred and politics you want to display.

Everyone is sick, including you and I.

I don't need to work on the message because I am not part of his MDT (Multi-disciplinary Team).😊

Hmm...

Arizoner:
is it true her daughter was product of rape?

Go and ask the police, if her family reported a case of rape in regards to her.

Wagwanbrethren:
The man is right,just that you wouldn't accept. Have you not heard about laryngeal cancer? 🤷‍♂️

There are many signs and symptoms of cancer, and weight loss and hoarseness in the voice are two of them. Weight loss can be a sign of cancer because the cancer may be eating away at the person's body, making them lose weight. Hoarseness in the voice can also be a sign of cancer because the cancer may be growing in the person's throat and causing them to have a hoarse voice.

These are just two of the many signs and symptoms of cancer.

Is he the oncologist that diagnosed him and came out with the result that he has laryngeal cancer as a FACT and the signs you listed are not comorbidities of something else?

I am into assessments of Neirodivergent children and adolescents, in as much as when I look at children and adolescents, I tend to "pick up things" based on my training but I cannot post/say anything as the FACT unless I did the assessments or read the reports of another assessor.

Not all cancer is linked to weight loss, ovarian cancer is certainly one that gets the patient bloated.

N3TRAL:
Anything my sweetheart, Genevieve Nnaji, does is right.

Anytime you're in distress , please call on me 👑 Genevieve. I'm willing to give my life to save yours!

I'm not Superman or Batman. I'm Your-man, your superhero.

Give me the chance to go on my knees and lick your feet, Gracious lady.

I have a gallery of your pictures that I've been glued to since morning. You're a Goddess. You deserve happiness, joy, peace, love. You deserve every good thing.

Words cannot sufficiently express how I feel about you 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Her daughter is way "older" than you.....so quit the "poetry".😂😂😂😂

drlateef:
Obi has got hoarseness in his voice no doubt. And he appears to be losing weight, another sign of cancer. May God heal him. His followers are headless mob who think good health is only for them.

By the way, which quack medical school you attend?😂😂

Abi you be Dr. Lateef Trado Herbal Limited, doctor of all sicknesses.😂😂😂

drlateef:
Obi has got hoarseness in his voice no doubt. And he appears to be losing weight, another sign of cancer. May God heal him. His followers are headless mob who think good health is only for them.

Dopemu Oncologist àgbá, with a tint of delusion...👏👏👏👏😂😂😂😂

In a state with the lowest human capital development in the South East and sees nothing wrong with their youths being ready recruits for farm hands in the South East and South South or hawking in several towns and cities across Nigeria.

They are known for rice cultivation, instead of Umahi to invest the N1.6bn into procuring more tractors rather than their farmers manually tilling the land, he prefers using it to settle his loyalists.