₦airaland Forum

may their souls rest in peace..

Lanrefahm: Story

yes it is a story..meant to satirize ppl like u!

31 ways to make a girl smile (:
1. Tell her she is beautiful
2. Hold her hand at any moment … even if its
ust for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. Wrestle with her
6. Don’t go hang out with you ex when she is
not with you, you might not realize how badly
it hurts her.
7. If you're talking to another girl, when
you’re done talking, walk over and hug her
and kiss her….let her know she’s yours and
they aren't.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say “hi”
9. Introduce her to your friends … as your
girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and
she doesn't like it
13. Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she’s mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a
stuffed animal (she’ll hug it every time she
goes to sleep), jewelry (she’ll treasure it
forever), and one of her t-shirts (she’ll most
likely wear it to bed) or sweatshirts sprayed
with her cologne!! and flowers or something
occasionally.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as
you do when you’re alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends
21. Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22. Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her
something, even if its’n simple and
inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all
the world to HER.
25. When she gives you a present on your
birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it
and tell her you love it, even if you don’t (it’ll
make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it
may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and
makes her think you don’t care so call even if
you can only talk for a minute. Girls don’t
necessarily have to have hour long
conversations every night but its nice for us
to hear your voice even for a quick hello.
27. Give her wat she wants
28. Recognize the small things … they usually
mean the most.
29. Don’t hug her friends or your friends that
are girls cause she’ll feel left out.
30. Hang out with her whenever you are free
and u should be free to hang wit your girl
friend all the time
31. If u care about her…SHOW her!

AKPOS: I'm coming to see you honey.
GIRL: Alright baby.
AKPOS: I love you, I can't wait to see
you...I'm getting ready to leavenow.
GIRL: Okay but honey, I'm on my period,
just letting you know incase.
AKPOS: My car just broke down, I can't
come and see you.
GIRL: Get your friend to bring you,like he
always does.
AKPOS: He got shot by armed robbers so
I can't come, I'm sorry.
GIRL: Oh never mind, I'm not on my period.
AKPOS: My friend has just been
discharged from hospital and he has said
he's okay, he's fine and he will take me
now. I'm coming sweetheart.
GIRL: sh*t! I'm really on my period, just did
not notice.
AKPOS: Damn! He has been shot again. I
can't come!!!!
Describe Akpos in one Word

AKPOS: I'm coming to see you honey.
GIRL: Alright baby.
AKPOS: I love you, I can't wait to see
you...I'm getting ready to leavenow.
GIRL: Okay but honey, I'm on my period,
just letting you know incase.
AKPOS: My car just broke down, I can't
come and see you.
GIRL: Get your friend to bring you,like he
always does.
AKPOS: He got shot by armed robbers so
I can't come, I'm sorry.
GIRL: Oh never mind, I'm not on my period.
AKPOS: My friend has just been
discharged from hospital and he has said
he's okay, he's fine and he will take me
now. I'm coming sweetheart.
GIRL: sh*t! I'm really on my period, just did
not notice.
AKPOS: Damn! He has been shot again. I
can't come!!!!
Describe Akpos in one Word

no dullings nau@op wetin u tink say i go do na?

A girl Fell from 80th floor
building,
A boy caught her on 65th floor
and asked her...
will u hug me...?
She replied.., of course not... he dropped
her. ........... she was
caught on 30th floor by
another boy....
He asked her, will u kiss me..?
no not at all, she replied
he dropped her too.. she prayed for a last
chance
when a boy held her on the 5th
floor.
she immediately said...
ok i will hug u and kiss u..
The boy dropped her saying Astagfirullah !! I
am fasting...

abi mia put 21-25 ...

I rep 15-20 jare

Mandela is enjoying a hearty breakfast -
bacon, eggs, coffee,croissan ts, toast, butter,
jam, etc. when Obama, chewing gum, sits
next to him and starts a conversation:
Obama: "You South Africans eat the whole
bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."

Obama (blowing bubble with his gum): "We
don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside.
The crusts we collect in a container, recycle,
re-bake them into croissants and sell them to
South Africa."
Mandela: "Oh Really?"
Obama: "Do you eat jam with the bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."
Obama (chuckling and crackling his gum
between his teeth): "We don't. In the States
we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the
peels, seeds and left over's into containers,
recycle them into jam and sell it to South
Africa ."
Mandela: "Do you have sex in America?"
Obama: "Of course we do."
Mandela: "And what do you do with the
condoms?"
Obama: "Throw them away of course."
Mandela: "We don't. We pack them into
containers, recycle them, melt them down into
chewing gum and sell it to America." Smile
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFRICA ICON MADIBA

itt91@yahoo.com:
Besides,personal decision and determination is vital too,if there is still a strong desire for it,the desire to continue take Aloes may be hindered,if its the bitterness that would deter smokers then you could as well get bitter leaf or oruwo leaf(in yoruba,dont know it name in English but would check it botanical name in my book and get back) to chew as well,since both leaves are common mostly arround.
Pay attension to your health before it reject your Attension.

i agree with you..personal decision and determination plays a vital role too..but this method will help alot to triger the quiting.

overdrive: Pls what is aloes and how can one get d powdered one.

aloe vera s d comonest...check any herbal shop around u..

i agree with ALL that the OP has said!!!!

Dissolve 1 oz of powdered aloes in 2½ lbs
of water, fill this in bottle and use. Take a
teaspoonful after meals or whenever the
desire of smoking comes back, then try to
smoke. The bitter taste of aloes makes
smoking unpleasant and if you keep up
taking the medicine regularly after meals,
it will disappear in few days.

i see nothing wrong in that if done indirectly..however it is improper if the question comes direct..

funkyjms: Which one be brown suqar aqain?

Unrefined or incompletely refined
sugar that still retains some
molasses, which gives it a
brownish color.

Chanchit: E be like say Dame don heal finish, this one wei she don dey spew rubbish again. The two mumu lords. Na me go personally burn that N4b house down if Lord mugu builds it for her. Awon Eleribu.

Btw I'm sure its a joke.

i c u...ilorin accent!

hahahahaha,,,akpors,u b badoo..

Mother: Akpors I'm sorry I slept
with someone that is not your
dad 23 years ago. And that
person is your real father.
Akpors: Mum, what rubbish! How am
I to deal with this?! You should be hanged.
Mother: I am sorry he was my
first love and I could not marry
him... because we are of different religion. He
is on
the
phone at the moment and wants to speak
with his
son for the first time ever.
Akpors: No I am speaking to no one.
Bob is the only father i
know and so will that be.
Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to
him.
Akpors: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!
Phone: Morning Son, I am Bill Gates .
I am your real father.
Akpors: Dad! Dad!! Dad!!! Thank God!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Love u so much Dad!!!!! I’ve been looking for
you for so long....
One word for akpors

MY JOKE OF THE DAY.
DAD: Akpos, if Mr John asks
after me, tell him I'm not
around. How will you tell him
when he comes, cos i know
you are funny?
AKPOS: When he comes, I will say my daddy
said I should tell
you he is not around.
DAD: Idiot! Just tell him, he is
not around. Ok!?
AKPOS: Yes daddy.
[When Mr John arrived...]
MR JOHN: Akpos, where
is ur daddy?
AKPOS: He is not around.
MR JOHN: When is he coming
back?
AKPOS: Wait let me go and ask him he didn't
tell me.
(Rushed into the room,
shouting, daddy, daddy, when are u coming
back?)
DROP YOUR COMMENTS!

FKBZ: where can one get black pepper and brown sugar

can get them from any herbal shop..

Take 2 almond seeds with butter or take
four black pepper with brown sugar and
chew it daily for two weeks.give it a try and drop your testimonies..

who r we to cal unto nw than d almighty God..to let hs most suprem judgmnt prevail...oh my beatiful town,weep nt 4 u r in God watch!!!

Mesico2: .... Broda, why are u thinking like that? The justice Mustapha Akanbi that first upheld his throne for him wasn't an Ilorin man? And by the way, try to think again about your conspiracy cos this got nothing to do with Ilorin. Am only saying this to u as a brother and to avoid unneccesary comotion. Shalom!

u r ryt bro,bt i bet dia s a foul play somwher....nd com to tink of it,gbadamosi has don alot gud to offa evn b4 his enthronment..he seriusly dos nt deserv such humiliation..

dis cant b rily hapenin...who did dis to my mufu?ilorin ryt?ok...am smelin a foul play here...

seriously..nigerians sud wise up..i dnt see a reason to tank a technician 4 repairing my faulty tv...i mean he s workn 4 his money..these leaders ar our servants..dey get paid 4 wateva work dey r doin...so y sing praises to dem?

Acecube: UNILORIN : we were already on holiday weeks before the strike.
Better by far, jare.... 10years uninterupted calendar. @ unilorin 4 years is 3.5 years

u get mouth jare..i rep d beter by far uni...unilorin;my alma mata...

supaeagles: I would rather fly dana than this one oh

By the way this is such OLD news, from 2007, is daily mail UK so desperate that they are recycling this in 2013??

dey r nt made in nigeria..bt made in africa..y dis ppl dey beaf us wit wrong informations na!smh!!!!!

its a gud start..

luchy34: Let the war begin!!, oops I have an idea, MEND vs BOKO H. Who wins! Hahaaa, this country is just getting crazier by the day!

lol...reminds me of a question from my last paper....MEND VS BOKO HARAM,discus wit respect to man-environment relationshp...

that song happened to be my favourite,i get inspired whenever i listen to it..not until now,i never thought someone else still get the same message i got from the song lyrics..thumb up@op

money-hungry :
stop bothering ur small heads.... ALL WOMEN SH.IT.

exacly!