₦airaland Forum

Chuky7:
Lol you carry weight O...

my cousin is like you though...maybe a little relaxed...u seem tense at the outside world...

salt1:
Your experience has just strengthened my decision to send away the relatives that are staying with me.
Henceforth, if I want to help, I'll help from afar. Your ingratitude and unhealthy comparison with your guardian's children is sickening.

holusormi:
I swear !! - I felt very angry reading the post - imagine the fuckery!!! - he didn’t blame his useless father and LovePeddler mother , rather chose to blame a man who helped him despite not being indebted to him in any way at all -

@CharlesELIKIBA, you are an ungrateful soul , and I hope all you have is taken from you as quick as it was given to you , I Hope you loose it all in a freak accident because you clearly don’t deserve the mercies you’ve been given. God punish you bro !!!! - Fucking entitled cunt son of a LovePeddler mother !!!!

Vulcan24:
calm down it was obvious cos we were adults ..... I said after graduation

u don't know the whole story.

I even lost a better job cos she wouldn't push further

charlesELIKIBA:
honestly sometimes I feel nairaland is a bad place to seek opinions except for a few who are right thinking.

Vulcan24:
Destiny cannot be changed .... you are a pure sample

however it's ur mind doing all the dreaming

I have part of your experience although it was after my uni. I was not helped out if fear of surpassing her children

I also dream of her too.

it's destiny and God at work to prove himself the maker of men.

Don't repay the bad just keep the good heart and remember to do good to their children children

God has used them as ur foundation to greater heights

SweetCunt97:
It's simply obvious many people have wickedness running in their veins. I'm not surprised afterall we read news of their atrocities here every day!

Those who are pure in heart with good emotional standing with spot the wickedness in this story.

Personally I love my siblings, so when I become rich and it arises that I have to take their kids under my wings, I'll do so without bile, with same love as my own kids. I'll want to see them succeed just like my kids. Cos I know if I better their lives, they'll in turn care for their parent(my sibling). It's really not that hard to be good.

Sheunma:
You can't understand the Qur'an by reading like any other ordinary book. You need guidance from holy spirit for express understanding. Thanks.

Blackpearlous:
After watching Christain and Amy's video at the park, I just gave up trying to debate with my family members, they will talk about it and I won't utter a word in support or against it. Then my mum showed me George Floyd video I was like "mum I don't want to see it", because I don't want to start crying again and start getting emotional.

Getting plank cards and start saying black life matters won't cause that much change if something drastic doesn't happen where blacks comes from.

Take a look at this, some of us have rich friends we treat them a lil bit different initially not cause of who they are but when they come from, no matter their manners at first they are a lil bit favoured because of whr the are coming from.


You will almost want to treat a white man diff because you feel they are doing us a favour because they are here, they left the best to come to this country and you must honor them like those cousins that have traveled out and come visiting at your humble Nija home.


If we develop black nations all over the world and there is this sense like the blacks have a great place they are coming from but just chose to live abroad not cause they are running away(stereotype) we would be treated differently.


Just like that cousin that doesn't eat well or live well with his parents and always want to cone to your place in Lagos, you feel like he is a lil below you and can take somethings you do.


This is not the sole reason they are treated wrongly but that's one part I think can help.


Add some if you can.

Blackpearlous:
Lol I swear, I like your profile I will like to send you a mail.

Blackpearlous:
Yea I pray he doesn't go to a river to wash his head. It will just worsen it and they will take his money.


Psychologist needs more recognition in this country, but not we take psychological problems to spiritual leaders and everything will be demons and witches.

Thank you.

AreaFada2:
CharlesELIKIBA

I can understand your pain from childhood experience. When you are fostered, there are always emotional issues. Quite often it's not because of foster parent's or your fault. You just missed the love of your natural parents. Simple.

Like Sisioge pointed out, the couple did a lot for you. As humans however, they also erred by not just getting you through secondary school completely.

Maybe someone lied against you or a religious or spiritual leader advised them to send you away. Only them & God know.

Remember, you didn't use the opportunity they gave you to excel at school. Many used a lesser opportunity. But they worked hard (even if not naturally brilliant) and did better.

I think it's unfair to say that they didn't want you to do better than their kids. Because you can never category prove such even if certain things they did gave you that impression or suspicion. Their kids were their primary and God-given responsibility. Your were not. Yet they extended a hand while your biological parents were virtually absent.

As for the dreams, you need to forgive yourself for your perceived neglect of them. And then "forgive" whatever you think they didn't do for you. Remembering that neither your biological dad or mum could have given as much as they did during that period. Pray for the repose of her soul. Because in her you lost a "mother".

If some day your cousins needed any help be it material or emotional, be there for them. They didn't cause anything. In fact they were the only siblings you had growing up.

Please stop comparison. Anyone can "blow" at any time and anyone can fall behind. No condition is permanent. Let the hidden "bitterness" in you go. Bitterness towards everyone, including your biological parents.

Only then can the healing start and you can truly be free.

fineboynl:
she had a vision that you will be greater than her children. the reason she reject the vision and try everything possible of such to get rid of you and such a thing should never happen, same reason she is happy anytime she see your suffering below her children. its what God says that will cone to pass and not man. but most people don't know how to take it. even Joseph in the Bible his own brodas sold him.

she said she will never forgive you if you are better than her children. and before she died she already forgives you. but the reason you are seeing her its the spirit stuff she did ad she is diabolic. its the spirit that's is still trying to torment you but they will have no effect on you.
if any one did evil against you.you will constantly sees them negatively in your dreams.


you won't have gone far if you didn't take the decision to leave there

I am currently going through the same.

there is this man he is always at the negative end of my dream and I keep seeing him. he is not the only one. I want to concentrate on him and leave the other people because his own is kind of related to yours. the man is native doctor we live in the same compound during my childhood. his children are educated but not really productive. its not by education that makes any one successful, its the gift of God.

he has seen I will be greater. and I haven't had Peace.

but God will fight for me.

holusormi:
Oloriburuku ni yin sir !! - see why I keep saying it , leave these family assholes and stop helping them - they will find a way to make you bad - stupid cunt!!!

Blackpearlous:
This is not spritual at all, more like the child in you is still very scared of her and you mind keeps playing this dreams of your fears.


You must acknowledge bthey are fears and you must treat then as just fears don't attach a spiritual meaning to it, might go worse, only if your pastor is not so abstract.


So take it one step at a time daily.
*Write the dreams out.
*Understand the dreams.
* Don't take it as literal.( Eg represent your aunt as just your fears and it could be any one you fear not just her, discussing with your friends as betrayal and you don't like betrayal)
* Then think of it as I can handle it. If you have done the previous test and say the dream is that you are afraid of betrayal then deal with it. Ask yourself questions do I need to trust people more? Or I trust too nuch? Does my friend show any sign of betrayal?
*Take reality every tine, live in reality and not the dream and change what you can leave what you can't.
* Take your note and say you will get better.
* This way you will build a mental intelligent against the dreams and it will because so normal and you can actually dream and understand better.


I hope it will help you. Cheers
*

friday2011:
No mind d guy... I believe the story is not complete, he has bitterness in him and he feels for him to have achieved more than those cousins, he must rob it on there faces.

charlesELIKIBA:
so apparently you can't invest on a child who isn't your blood because you see it as a lost investment?

for you adoption means your investment on a child is secured.

you my friend are an example of a bad woman, this means if you should have another man's child in your house, you would deprive that child of the good things you can provide for her because to you, it's not a safe investment.

for your info I never stated anywhere in my posts I was maltreated or did I paint my uncle and his wife black. I can't spell out all the details to you because that's not the aim of my post. I was here to ask a simple question but I also needed you guys to know where I was coming from.

Profgenius:
HOW TO SET GOALS THAT ARE ACHIEVABLE

“The people who achieve their goals are simply the ones that refuse to give up and put in the work.”

The reason why most of us never achieve our goals after setting them, is because we never take out time to plan how to achieve them. It is one thing to set goals and it is another thing to plan in detail, how to achieve them. The planning of how to achieve the goal helps to make it realistic and attainable. A goal that is properly planned, is half achieved. Planning how to achieve your goal is what set the action process in motion that will enable you to realize the goal. There are important things you must do to help you make your goal a reality no matter what type of goal it is and how big or small it is. There is a process that works. A process that guarantees result. A process that is tested and trusted to produce result every time it is applied. Here are the processes or steps to take when planning your goal, in order to make them a reality:

1. Set a goal that’s SMART: Not all goals are achievable. Goals that are achievable are goals that are SMART. When setting your goals in any area of your life, you should endeavour to set SMART goals. The acrostic SMART shows you how to set goals that can become a reality. S stands for Specific. M stands for Measurable. A stands for Attainable. R stands for Realistic and T stands for Timely. You should only set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. When your goal is SMART, you are already on your way to achieving that goal.

2. Identify what’s in if for you: What do you want to achieve by setting a particular goal? What are the benefits? How will achieving the goal impact you? When you know what is in it for you and focus on it, there is every tendency that you will achieve that goal. The reason why most people do not achieve their goal is because they focus so much on the cost of achieving the goal instead of the benefits or rewards. If your goal is to get a degree, focus on the many benefits of having a college degree. Think of how it will help you to get good job and increase your status in life. Instead of focusing on the cost of getting the degree, the time you will spend and so many challenges to overcome, just keep your focus on the benefits and reward of having the degree. That will propel you to want to achieve your goal at all cost.

3. List the obstacles that stand between you and your goals: When you have set SMART goals and identify the benefits to you, the next thing you need to do is to highlight the obstacles and challenges that are likely to hinder you from achieving your goals. By identifying the possible obstacles, you are being realistic. And this will help you to plan beforehand how you are going to overcome it. There are some cases when you will not be able to identify or for see every possible obstacles. That is understandable because life itself is not predictable to an extent. Things sometimes just happen. But if you take your time to plan how to overcome possible challenges that might occur, you will be doing yourself a lot of good and arming yourself against disappointment. Now, while you identify possible obstacles, you are not to focus on them or allow them to deter you. Rather you are to keep your focus on the benefits.

4. Seek counsel and guidance: Most times it is difficult to fail when you are equipped with good advice before undertaking a particular task. A good advice can help you to overcome major obstacles on your way to achieving your goals. After setting your goal, look for someone who is experience in that area to counsel or guide you. It will help a lot. You will be able to avoid mistakes and pitfalls that might hinder or delay you from achieving your goals. For example, if you set a goal of establishing photography business, you will need to take counsel from an established and practicing photographer. That photographer, from his years of experience in the practice of photography will be able to give you profitable advise on what you should do and not do, how to start, skills to acquire, cost implications and other guidance that will be necessary.

5. Consider who can help you: After setting a goal, you need someone who can encourage you, motivate you and make you accountable. This person can be a friend, a relation, a colleague etc. Look for someone you trust that can motivate you to action and keep checking on you till you achieve that goal. This is very important. If you keep your goal to yourself, there is the tendency that you might not take action or you might give up after taking action. But if you have someone that is keeping an eye on you and you are accountable to, it will help to sustain the energy in you even when challenges and disappointment starts coming in.

6. List the skills and knowledge required: In achieving a particular goal, there are likely to be skills that will be required to achieve the goal. It is important that you list these skills and find a way to acquire them as the case may be. For example, if your goal is to go to the university and get a degree in a particular field, then you will need good studying skills, writing skills, listening skills, exam preparation skills, basic computer skills etc. These skills can be acquired in the process of achieving your goal or even before setting out to achieve your goal. It is important you identify them. And that is where the role of a counselor and guidance comes in as mentioned earlier.

7. Develop a plan of action: After putting all the above mentioned steps into consideration, the next thing you need to do is develop a specific plan of action. Your plan of action should clearly state how you are going to overcome all the obstacles, who is going to help you in the process, what and what you will do at each stage of the goal achieving process and how you will develop or acquire all the skills that will be required of you to achieve your goal. This plan should be clearly written out with clear action steps and things to do at each stage.

8. Set a deadline for achievements: You must set a deadline for the achievement of your goal if you want to be motivated to achieve it. There must be a start time and a finish time. This will help you to avoid procrastination. A goal without a deadline is a mere good intention or wishful thinking. Ask yourself how long it will take you to achieve the set goal, when you will start and when you will finish. Knowing all these detailed information will help you to plan effectively and take positive steps to achieve your goals.

These are the eight steps to setting achievable goals for yourself in any area of your life. Set smart goals, identify what is in it for you, list the obstacles that stand between you and your goals, seek counsel and guidance, consider who can help you, list the skills and knowledge required, develop a plan of action and set a deadline for achieving your goals. With all these in place, you are sure to achieve your goals.

Be happy. Be successful. Be YOU.


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Dejavue0808:
What can someone like me do to resist my inner mind from being oppressed by this non mother- like attitude.Cos ones mum would never do things which could hurt one's feeling. Nowadays i feel as if used to do all that's expected to the last minor shits at home, and irrespective of that i still face some Ill manners like being shouted at, being abused before food is passed to me.Even when she's about leaving for anywhere, u will hear things like do this, do that or else no food for u.And if i lock up my self in my room. My dad always get annoyed that I'm acting weird, but everything seems fine when he's at home.I'm being treated like someone who came for holiday or came to enjoy luxury and must pay in kind.He feels shebi it's the child at home that does everything but I do tell him, not to the last minor shits.It's so frustrating if someone couldn't come over for a little while. If I'm off for days, my dad will be like i deserted him.Have made this understand my discomfort all times but he hardly believe as she tends to act plain in his presence

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

SweetCunt97:
That's d problem with people glossing over details! You think I'll be grateful to anyone who I asked for help in my time of need and the person insulted me plus put me down? Omo that shit don cancel all the fake help o. Afterall this uncle paid his fee till ss2 come use am wella like boy boy. No wonder Nigeria is where it is, una suffering and smiling too much. Imagine not being able to sit in ur uncle's house and you talking about being grateful? The woman obviously saw the op shining destiny, who knows if they tried tapping from it sef. Guy shine your eyes, don't let people give you sweet while they tapping chocolate from u.

The OP ought to be very proud of his accomplishments after all the insults, the set backs, they thought he'd remain a penniless teacher but he broke out of his comfort zone to excel. You people should try to read in-between lines OK. Blowing out another kid's candle won't make yours shine brighter.

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.