VanuatuWycombe:
op, you should not have hit her. Please don’t drive your mom to the point of thinking and being hypertensive. Ok? Please. Our mothers feel they want the best for us and that’s why you see them trying to correct us in their own little ways of understanding. They feel they are experienced than we do.

Please don’t allow this millennia mirage of life we lead affect your relationships with any of your parents. There is nothing good in the ‘freedom’ you think you have without being in good books of your parents. Even if they are wrong, there are ways of managing them and they would come to love you more and seek your counsel in many things.

Kindly find time to beg her. Please. This post makes me sad.
You can still achieve your musical goals without beating your mum. Ok? Just always let her see why you need her support in what you are doing. She could have had a kind of experience from your dad’s musical career which could have made her regretted some things but as her son, you can find out more about this and reassure her on some things.
Just try and build that bond with her and learn how to trust each other. You would realize that she would be your number one fan.

While you do your musical career, try and complete your education, up to at least NCE, poly or university level. Assist her in house chores. Run errands for her. Update her on things you feel would be useful to her and she would be your best companion.

Please don’t listen to what many people out here would say that she deserves it. She doesn’t deserve it.

You can be your guy man, street boy etc and still love and respect your parents.

God would prosper you and give you the wisdom to paddle your way out of this murky weather.

I feel down as if it’s me that did it.

my music pays me even more than when I worked in d bank. I'm a hnd graduate of accountancy. I'm not just some wayward kid

tonididdy:

How old are you bra?
You don't just leave your house and go camp in your parents house for weeks unless you are jobless, if it's a Christmas holiday, that's an exception.
2 or 3 days is enough to breed respect ( yes parents respect their independent kids alot if you play your cards right).
Your mom is disgusted at the sight of you because you are following in a path your dad followed (am 100% sure, your mother is some worth disrespectful to your father).
You just have to disappear for a while. It will help both of you. You have to get a real job, being a musician at night will not cut it bro.

did u just say weeks? Sometimes u don't just jump into conclusions and I far earn even more than some salary earners. I love my job, I never stayed that I was poor. I live within my means and I'm comfortable atleast

Socratiz:
The people condemning you here are those who don't know what it means to have a toxic mum, one who makes you regret your existence.

The mistake you made was staying too long in her presence for your patience to be exhausted.

You will need to apologize though she may not accept your apology. It doesn't matter. Just do it.

Secondly, stay away from her. Find other means of being a worthy brother to the last born. Avoid your mum so that such a thing does not repeat itself.

BTW, where was your dad when all these happened? Did he intervene? What was his response when your mum reported to him?

It's important to know what he thought about the incident. I would expect him to encourage you to apologize to your mum.

Just do that and keep off.

I heard her call him before I left their house.. I expected him to call me but he hasn't and it's been 4days now

Mavor:
You are a demon. People like you who hit their parents are the worst kind of person on earth. You rank on the same category as a child molester. No amount of excuses or long story justifies you hitting your own mother. Abomination!!! If her abuses were too much, then why not cut her off from your life? May God help your soul.

can you be nice atleast

Prettygirl200:
Am so sorry about your mother's attitude, some mother's are like that, mine almost has the same characteristics of your mother. Though she pushed u to do that, I won't blame u for hitting her shaaa but will advise next time, just walk away please. What did your dad say?

he has not uttered a word

aariwa:
My only advice for you is to leave her forever, change your phone lines forever.You will never make any head way in life as long as she is around you .People like that are the opposite form of Midas touch ie anything they touch they destroy and they are mostly twins..they were just created to be wrong people on earth and they never change .The condition your dad is today is a result of her.The people you are asking for advice here would not understand your predicaments because most of their mothers are rational human beings so they will see it from that point of view.The decision is yours

omo, o ga bayi o

Nocommonsense:
Life, I wish I have a mother that could even slap me right now. People don't value what they have until they lose them. Go back and beg your mother and have meaningful conversation with her like mother and son.

seem like u don't get it... We never that kind of conversation. I always envy others when I how they relate with their mothers. Nothing like that in my own case, it's always her nagging about something I've not done right.. When I was with them fully, I never stayed in d parlor with them. I'm always in my room not cos of fear but cos I know she's gonna pick on me about something. I was always on my own most times and it has affected me growing up. I can stay in a single for an entire week without stepping out, no one comes to visit, I don't go to visit anyone.. it's quite shameful to say, I don't even have a girlfriend for someone who's of a marriageable age. I'm basically into events, like I go to events every weekend, mostly weddings and I see mothers and sons dances.. but I'm sure my mom will cause a scene at my wedding. It's tiring trust me

kingemi:


Op you really need to make a move of faith and go to that Ondo at least before the end of today...
And try to put call to your dad please.

Are you happy as your mind is still troubled like this?
Since I've been in nearly a similar case, I can relate,...that's why you should try and reach out to her and apologize so you can be happy at least with yourself.

Mbok I want to hear a good feedback from you ASAP
May the good Lord forgive and bless you.

heard she will be back on Saturday

zionstaar75:
only one word describes you.."omo ale"(bastard)u dey slap your mama,na bottle your son go break for your head.u still come social media to announce am

I'm not a bastard

Kelvin3476:
oga so shame gree u type this nonesense ? i no go read this nonesense u are writing here becus u gat no excuse. ogun kee u there.

only if u had connections with ogun.. really?

Zeus201:
First of all, you messed up by hitting a woman talk more of your mother but you have not done the worse thing known to man. If there was no sin there would be no forgiveness.
Solution:
1. Beg your dad for forgiveness and afterwards ask him to broker peace with your mom for you but being a hot tempered woman I doubt she would forgive immediately but still do it
2. If you are up to 21and have the means, leave the house to avoid further provocation, in doing so you gain your respect and in due time you can rescue you brother from that toxic environment
3. Pray to God for forgiveness, this should be no. 1 self, ask for wisdom and restraint. The Bible asks children to obey their parents in the Lord but admonishes parents not to provoke their children to anger.

After wards, go on your merry way and pursue your career, many people have done worse and still ended up successful because they understood that it's pointless letting the past way you down and don't think too much about any curses because it's God that has the final say to curse or bless.

Take care bro .

My picture obviously looks like I'm 21.. lol. Two things I think I got from her, she doesn't age, I don't age.. she's got temperament issues, I've got mine too. My kid sis is 26, my bro is 15.. I know I'm not a bastard anyway

kingemi:


Haa Op
Haven't you gone to apologise to your mom and dad since?
Are you sure you are not wasting too much time?
Have you even informed your dad personally up till now??

she's away, far away in ondo state.. and I'm somewhere unknown to no one

DKM123:
When I first saw the caption, I was irritated and immediately thought you must have been influenced by idi"otic red-okpillas on nairaland who call themselves Alfa nails yet have nothing to show for it.

Then I read your write up and felt the pain and instant remorse in the letters and how you wish you could undo what you did.....

I understand you. You aren't a bad person. Your mother shouldn't have raised her hands on you as a grown adult as well. That's unfair. That's abuse as well. You must have reacted back in a split second without thinking. It happens.
Stop beating yourself up.


LET YOUR MUM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND HOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS FELT GROWING UP. WRITE A HEARTFELT LETTER TO HER. THEN APOLOGIZE.

You don't have to use words like hatred on her though cos that's extreme. She is your mother. She OBVIOUSLY cares about you. She just has a bad character. A character she had even before you were born. Does that now mean she hates you? Naaaa! She probably was the one making all your meals for this one week you were there.

She nags about your hair, about your sagging trousers, about you taking up music as a career but believe it or not, they all come from a place of care even though she is going about it the wrong way.. This woman who fed you, bathed you, clothed you, worried about you when you were sick etc actually does care. Saying you hate her is a wicked word to use. I guess you learnt that from nairaland.

Anyway, I wish you well.

it's been tears deep down my spirit for days now.. I sometimes see the relationships btw my colleagues and their parents and I wished I had one with my mom but we don't even see eye to eye. I made efforts to close that gap, called her sisters to speak to her on my behalf but she will only pretend to listen and the return to her normal behavior. I'm tired honestly. My younger sister couldn't deal, she's just 25yrs.. she had to rent up an apartment in ajah, entirely far from here just so she could have peace.. I even decided to stay close so I could get an eye on my last born but mehn.. anyway I do not take ur advise for granted

Nocommonsense:
parents having issues with their children is normal especially when a child get to 18years above the child feel he/she is an adult now and no one can control him/her anymore. Trust me the op is between the age 18-23 that when the pressure is always high

lmao well age doesn't really matter.. I'm quite older than olamide but he commands far greater respect than I could ever imagine. So u see it isn't about age.

Reference:
Just to round up, two things and one best way out.

First, the apology kite everyone is flying.
Yes, he should apologise for the violent retribution. That was foolish.
The danger however is that in these parts apologies are often misconstrued. so they embolden the abuser where such an individual is purely emotional and lack rational thinking.
The consequence will be the worsening of the situation and a potential expansion to engulf others, which leads to the second point.

Leaving the house.
Once more this looks rational on the surface but for heavens sake he has a kid brother "to take care of'.
It doesn't take a genius to determine that all the fall out will come on that lad and it is almost certain the sad incident will repeat itself, perhaps to a worse degree.
For we all know the younger generation is less condescending and more assertive across board.
So 'out of his experience' it is better for him to remain and be the 'isolator', which leads me to the last point and my suggestion to him.

Which is to apologise with a 'straight face'.
Then go seek an intermediary to mediate since your dad has been 'conquered'.
Such a person MUST be one who she respects and listens to but most importantly a person that is steeped in wisdom and not given to sentiment, trado-cultural correctness and will be an impartial referee ready to repair the damage to the family as a whole first, then your relationship with her, secondarily.

My two cents.

wow.. u talk like u were in my shoes

LilMissFavvy:
You sound like you are in support of what the OP did. If the OP came here and opened a thread about having a difficult mother, my comment would have been different. For the OP to raise his hands on his mom, is clear that he has never been a good child, take it or leave. No matter the provocation. A good provoked son would have walked out on her.

Which sane climes? Is it the sane climes where children stand up against their parents? Sane climes where children call the cops on their parents for minor offenses? If that woman was as bad as he said, his musician father would have left her or taken another wife. She definitely is a difficult mother, but some of us dropping comments for him had a difficult mother or father, yet we loved them, made adjustments and sailed through.

sigh!

tonididdy:
I hate that situation.
Growing up as a child, I could be rude to my mom or have a tuggle but never hit her.

That's the line right there... Is a point of no return, all relationship is entirely lost no matter how much you ask for forgiveness and pamper her. It's a memory that will never leave you both.


... Just live with it and plan your life around yourself, that excuse of living with your kid bro because you want to monitor him is lame. GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOME.

I really don't see any crime in spending time with my dad and younger bro.. maybe not my mum cos we don't see eye to eye even before d incident

UpLoyo:
I'm not even gonna read whatever nonsense you wrote to justify anything but just going by the title: you hit your mother? Then you must be ready to die young, there's no prayer that can avert that unless that woman from the bottom of her heart prays for you. She doesn't need to say a word or curse you, you've brought a curse upon your life automatically. Congrats welcome to a life of misery. How could someone beat his own mother, is she a goat that ate you food?

are u kidding me?

Hmmm.. it's been a while lot scanning thru everyone's comment, certainly have picked the useful ones and of course, trashed the useless ones. Sincerely appreciate y'all, idobale mi re oo. Goodnight

M3A16:
It is a pity that you have got to deal with a parent of such attitude but our parents become our cross the moment we are able to identify purpose of living regardless of their lapses or faults.... You have done the abomination my bro, quickly find a way to seek for her genuine forgiveness and thereafter turn to your creator for the same. Note: there is no shame here oooo, you have made a deadly mistake and you have been sharply able to recognize that, kindly do this needful ASAP.
May we all be guided and forgiven
My heart is with you bro

thanks bro

olibeans:


Guy go and hang yourself

really

Acidbath:


Sincerely ask for your mother's forgiveness...then avoid the house for a while. Even when you go back every now and then, avoid any banter with her.

Your dad likes her like that...that's why he is still married to her.

really doesn't have a choice

twilliamx:


All my life i tried to so hard to get away from my mom because she always made me sin against God, she beats my spirit down and her words have made me contemplate suicide several times, finally i escape and now life brought her back to me. Her leg was amputated cos of diabetes and she also has stroke and now she lives with me. What can i do. We don't chose our parents but anyways i have a duty of care to look after her. Apologize to your mom. Its a must you do

thanks

zionstaar75:
only one word describes you.."omo ale"(bastard)u dey slap your mama,na bottle your son go break for your head.u still come social media to announce am

no fes bros

zionstaar75:
only one word describes you.."omo ale"(bastard)u dey slap your mama,na bottle your son go break for your head.u still come social media to announce am

ok

kendological:


I was once in your shoes, I really got close to hitting her, but I had to insult her, not proud about it. But it's lack of respect for your father and by extension you.
Women tend to disrespect a man when he gets poorer and less influential.
Give her along distance, especially emotionally, even when there is peace.
Try to better, don't let her ever provoke you again, take responsibility become a better man, more patient, more responsible.

Today I have good relationship with my parents, but I have set boundaries, no nonsense, no disrespect.

thanks

Sweeetheart:



go back to that house and prostrate to her, hold her legs and seek for her forgiveness then seek for God's forgiveness then leave their house while you continue prayer for her



they might be using her to bring down the peace and happiness in the house, you guys should pray for her and do things that give her joy once in a while with time she will understand she doesn't need that pakaleke life

thanks

gidado14:

You are already in hell, if you didn't beg her forgiveness

hmm

Ninisun:




Your mum will be fine las Las.
After like one week, go back home and apologize to her but table her your grievances. I assure you, she won't repeat it. Why does she behave like that? Are you guys facing financial challenges? It is well.

Seriously.. I do not understand her any more.

JoyousFurnitire:
Just go back home, knell down and beg her. Do everything possible to make her forgive you.

Don't plan to stay faraway for now. Ignite the bond (if there's) again. That may take months.

After that stay faraway from home, since you have your place.

Moz22

thanks

Ayomivic:


You are a bastard.

Once this is done ,It will surely occured again if care is not taken.

If you can hit your mum iam sorry for the woman that would marry you.

Well. The bad had been done . Solution is to go and beg your mum and your father. Oh! You don't know you offended your father too. ? It wasn't your mum alone you hit but both. You have to start by begging your father then your mother and you would have to go into fasting and prayers to beg God.

Oh ! You don't know you have offended God top? You have offended God because you have disobeyed his law that said "honor your father and your mother"
That is not a prayer you will pray a day and said you have prayed. It is prayer that you will pray for the rest of your life . I mean that God should forgive you. More importantly you must not angry with your mother again not to tell of beeten her and you must always do things to make her happy for the rest of her life . To cover up the damage you have done

I'm not a bastard.. they both gave birth to me

Jamesbiodun:
Omo ale jatijati ni boboyi ooo

I guess that's the only thing you have to say! We'll all be fine nonetheless