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MP007's Posts

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CareerRe: How Staff Friendly Is Your Bank? by MP007(m): 1:56pm On Dec 29, 2007
very friendly when they accept cash for deposit/ savings, frown at you when u are withdrawing cash or cashing check,
PoliticsRe: I Am Tired Of NEPA by MP007(m): 1:55pm On Dec 29, 2007
nigeria: Gaint of africa!!!!! huh grin, lord have mercy
Christianity EtcRe: The Bent Cross and the inverted cross by MP007(op): 1:48pm On Dec 29, 2007
babs787:
@mp007


Why not stop wasting your time with the so called pictures and crosses. Early christians do not use cross but fish as their symbol. The cross was a later invention of pagans into the religion called christianity.The pictures go a long way to show that all the pictures being portrayed are not his, nobody witnessed his 'alleged' crucifixion . He was never crucified let alone resurrecting after the third. I have been asking your friends to provide me OT prophecy on his crucifixion and resurrection after the third day[b][/b] but have not seen any prophecy.

cool cool
@ babs,  the post as got nothing to do with you and your buddies arguing over religion ok, aint got time for that, don't bring that in here ok!, thanks for your comment babs, the post is for christians only, thank you

back to the main topic,  we christians know the significance of the cross, need y'all believers of christ to respond to this thread, christians only because non-christians just wouldnt understand ,
Christianity EtcRe: The Bent Cross and the inverted cross by MP007(op): 12:14pm On Dec 29, 2007
more pics

Christianity EtcRe: The Bent Cross and the inverted cross by MP007(op): 12:13pm On Dec 29, 2007
more pics
Christianity EtcThe Bent Cross and the inverted cross by MP007(op): 12:00pm On Dec 29, 2007
Please notice the Crucifix that Pope John Paul II is holding up to the people, at left. Study it closely, and you will realize that it is not a Traditional Crucifix, as we show below. Rather, this Crucifix is known as a "Bent Cross". But, what does that mean? For the answer to that question, let us turn to a Roman Catholic author, Piers Compton, writing in his book, "The Broken Cross: Hidden Hand In the Vatican", Channel Islands, Neville Spearman, 1981.

This Bent Crucifix is ",  a sinister symbol, used by Satanists in the sixth century, that had been revived at the time of Vatican Two. This was a bent or broken cross, on which was displayed a repulsive and distorted figure of Christ[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000], which the black magicians and sorcerers of the Middle Ages had made use of to represent the Biblical term 'Mark of the Beast'. Yet, not only Paul VI, but his successors, the two John-Pauls, carried that object and held it up to be revered by crowds, who had not the slightest idea that it stood for anti-Christ." (p. 72) On page 56 Compton prints a picture of the current Pope, John Paul II, holding this bent or broken cross, just as we have shown, at left.

http://www.jesus-is-lord.com/anti4.htm


Inverted cross(http://www.exposingsatanism.org/signsymbols.htm)

According to Exposing Satanism, the "Upside Down Cross - Symbolizes mockery and rejection of Jesus. Necklaces are worn by many satanist's. It can be seen on Rock singers and their album covers."

The inverted cross This cross is not broken, but turned upside down. It indicates the rejection of Jesus Christ and contempt for the gospel of salvation. Inverted symbols are typical of the opposite values pursued by Satanists. People who are sometimes sacrificed to Satan on Black Sabbath are crucified upside down in accordance with this tradition

And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
2 Corinthians 11:14




Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.

Matthew 24:9

Christianity Etc666 Is Coming by MP007(op): 9:15am On Dec 29, 2007
JUST HOW NEAR IS REVELATION 13?


Omni magazine, June 1991, (p.59) made this surprising statement, "CASH AND CREDIT CARDS WILL SOON BE OBSOLETE." InformationWeek, Oct. 11, 1993, boldly trumpeted on it's cover, The Cashless Society, It's in the Cards, The article dogmatically stated, (p.4) "Bet your bottom dollar: The United States IS BECOMING A CASHLESS SOCIETY . . ."

The fastest growing movement in the financial world is "smart cards". Smart cards, which resemble ordinary credit cards, contain tiny computer chips, capable of storing data, such as bank accounts, medical information, etc. Already widely used in Japan and Europe, according to InformationWeek, (p.4) "BY NEXT YEAR, cards will be used to pay for health care and insurance, to receive government benefits, and to buy items in vending machines . . ."

Newsweek magazine, July 31, 1989, (p.54) said smart cards, "may make the old science-fiction notion of a CASHLESS SOCIETY REAL."



A pilot program is already being tested at the Marine Corp's Parris Island training base in South Carolina. According to Newsweek, "On payday, recruits receive smart cards rather than cash. When a marine makes a purchase on base, he plugs the card into a small terminal and the sum is automatically deducted from his pay." Newsweek says, "THE BASE IS, IN FACT, A CASHLESS ECONOMY – even the telephones take smart cards."

The Birmingham News, August, 24, 1993, (p.1B) report on smart cards, said, "Before long, you'll use this electronic check to pay for groceries, gasoline, taxes, stamps, fast food – in virtually any business where you now use checks or cash." Robert Mckinley, president of RAM Research Corp. says, "You've heard about the cashless society . . . IT MAY FINALLY BE ON ITS WAY."

Infosecurity News, Sept/Oct 93 (p.27), writes, "An extraordinary effort is now underway to build an INFRASTRUCTURE FOR LARGE-SCALE USE of smart cards in electronic data interchange, national health- care systems, financial-transaction systems and interactive home services . . ."

Pilot programs, utilizing smart cards, are already being tested in Minnesota, New Jersey, Iowa, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Dayton, Ohio. And according to Lawrence Rudmann, USDA Director of Public Affairs, "It's only a matter of time before ALL FEDERAL PROGRAMS – are brought into compliance,. . ."



But that's not all,

U.S. News and World Report, told of a frightening reason for smart cards. "To keep closer watch on individuals, engineers have devised a forgeryproof NATIONAL IDENTITY CARD — THE SMART CARD."


AND HOW MIGHT THEY GET THE BALL ROLLING?

President Clinton has repeatedly, on national television, held up before the American people – the National Health Care Card. And for the very first time in history, every man, woman, and child will be numbered and required to carry a card. No exceptions! No excuses! EVERYBODY! In the book, Putting People First by President Clinton, outlining the Clinton agenda, page 22, reads, "ALL AMERICANS will carry 'smart cards'. . ."

An article in Investor's Business Daily, (Nov. 16, 93, p.1), titled, The Dark Side of Health Reform, stated, "Privacy rights advocates are also concerned that the health ID would end up being used by the government for FAR MORE than just determination of health benefits."

PC Week magazine (May 9, 1994 p.1) had an article titled, "Postal Service, IRS developing national identity cards; Clinton may give OK". The article stated, "The Clinton administration is working on creating an identification card that every American will need to interact with ANY FEDERAL government. . . Sources close to the administration said President Clinton is also considering signing a pair of executive orders that would facilitate the conection of INDIVIDUALS' BANK ACCOUNTS and federal records to a government identification card. . . the Postal Service is prepared to put more than 100 million of the cards in citizens' pockets within months of administration approval, WHICH COULD COME AT ANY TIME. . ."


A sinister plan is being carefully carried out by an unseen, but very real hand!


The major concern of the smart card is security. Credit card fraud costs $1 billion dollars a year! And if you think we've got problems with credit card fraud — what do you think will happen when your "financial-healthcare-identification-everything-smart- card" is stolen! A side-article in InformationWeek (p.36), asks the "10-million-dollar question", "What if A Thief Swipes Your Card?". Infosecurity (p.28) also asks, "The standard question is: 'What happens if a user forgets his or her smart card?'".


The answer is obvious . . .


It's going to have to be — PERMANENTLY ATTACHED TO THE INDIVIDUAL!

Automatic I.D. News, March 1992(p.E40), says, "AUTOMATIC IDENTIFICATION plays an important role inthe emerging cashless society." Automatic I.D. News, Sept. 1990 (p.37), says, "The fastest-growing segment in the access control market, . . . is biometric sensors. These devices identify people by fingerprints, retina patterns and other BODY-BASED methods . . ."

Already, in Spain, dogs and cats, are required by law, to have microchip implants injected into their skin. The system is also used in the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Great Britain, Belgium, Ireland, New York City and California. And, to stop baby-swapping, kidnapping – it is being considered for use in identifying CHILDREN!


MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT - 666 IS COMING!

In 1991, while America's attention was absorbed in the Gulf War Crisis, the House "silently" passed, a little-known bill, called The Federal Telecommunication System 2000 (FTS 2000). At a cost of $25 billion, it is the single largest money appropriation in U.S. history. FTS 2000 requires by law, all computer and phone lines, connected via high-tech computer network. According to a published study of FTS 2000, by Craig Hulet, of KC & Associates, "The system is QUITE REAL; . . . THERE IS NO QUESTION that once it is in place, one will 'neither buy nor sell' without being very much a part of the system." Revelation 13:17! What do think President Clinton was referring to in his State of the Union address, on January 25, 1994, when he said, ". . . we must also work with the private sector to connect every classroom, every clinic, every library, every hospital in America into a NATIONAL INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY by the year 2000."

How serious are they? In the book,Creating a Government that Works Better & Costs Less by Vice President Al Gore. Vice President Gore, (p.114), calls for ". . . the rapid development of a nationwide system to deliver government benefits ELECTRONICALLY. . . develop an implementation plan for electronic benefits transfer by March 1994." According to Gore, the process is well under way (p.114), "There are test sites in Iowa, Minnesota, New Mexico, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Wyoming."

In 1974, a strange, new mark began appearing on products. Until today, virtually every product is now marked with that familiar UPC barcode. And there are three embedded numbers on every UPC barcode.


What are the three hidden numbers?


YOU GUESSED IT! 666!

Christianity EtcThe Mark Of The Beast by MP007(op): 9:04am On Dec 29, 2007
"He (The Beast) forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark in his right hand or in his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name." The Book of the Revelation to John, Chapter 13, Verse 16-17.

The Number of the Beast  

"Let he that has wisdom count the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666." The Book of The Revelation to John, Chapter 13, Verse 18.

The Number 666 is so pervasive in direct use and thoughtful calculation as to approach mathmatical impossibility for it to be a mere coincidence. We would be at a loss for where to begin, were it not for the previous Bible verses.

MasterCard Corps' official policy is to replace money. We shiver at the concept of any card as our master, but to them it is a corporate goal.

VISA Card is also "interesting" to say the least. If you look at a VISA credit card you see three previous world empires represented. "VI" is the number 6 in the Roman numerals, "S" is the Stigma in the Greek culture whose value is 6, and lastly the "A" in the Babylonian culture is 6 ,  i.e, VISA = 666! We are sure they didn't plan it that way. This whole thing is MUCH MUCH bigger than they are. It is only a sign of the nature and origin of their success.

1998 divided by 3 = 666. That's this year. When was the last time that happened? Never before,

2000 divided by 3 = 666.666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666,  on into forever,  That's year after next,  When was the last time that happened? Again, never before,

We are told that the ancient Chaldeans, during the time of the Babylonian Empire when the prophetic Book of Daniel was written, had a numerological technique that can be applied to the english alphabet today. In that system, each succeeding letter of the alphabet was equal to 6 more than the one before it. In our system A would equal 6, B would equal 12, etc. as shown in the chart below,

New York

A
6
E
30
I
54
M
78
Q
102
You
126

B
12
F
36
J
60
N
84
R
108
V
132

C
18
G
42
K
66
O
90
S
114
W
138

D
24
H
48
L
72
P
96
T
120
X
144



So the $666 question is: What words in english add up to 666? I've only been able to find 4, and two of those were from combining two other words. You see, no words in english with 7 or less letters seem to add up to 666 at all. The very first english word that equals 666 is COMPUTER. The next one I can find is KISSINGER. The third, a combo word, is NUCLEAR HELL. The fourth is FEDERAL RESERVE. As Spock would say, "Interesting!"

C   3 x 6 =  18      K  11 x 6 =  66      N  14 x 6 =  84      F   6 x 6 =  36
O  15 x 6 =  90      I   9 x 6 =  54      You  21 x 6 = 126      E   5 x 6 =  30
M  13 x 6 =  78      S  19 x 6 = 114      C   3 x 6 =  18      D   4 x 6 =  24
P  16 x 6 =  96      S  19 x 6 = 114      L  12 x 6 =  72      E   5 x 6 =  30
You  21 x 6 = 126      I   9 x 6 =  54      E   5 x 6 =  30      R  18 x 6 = 108
T  20 x 6 = 120      N  14 x 6 =  84      A   1 x 6 =   6      A   1 x 6 =   6
E   5 x 6 =  30      G   7 x 6 =  42      R  18 x 6 = 108      L  12 x 6 =  72
R  18 x 6 = 108      E   5 x 6 =  30
===============      R  18 x 6 = 108      H   8 x 6 =  48      R  18 x 6 = 108
Total        666     ===============      E   5 x 6 =  30      E   5 x 6 =  30
                    Total       666      L  12 x 6 =  72      S  19 x 6 = 114
                                         L  12 x 6 =  72      E   5 x 6 =  30
                                         ===============      R  18 x 6 = 108
                                         Total       666      V  22 x 6 = 132
                                                              E   5 x 6 =  30
                                                              ================
                                                              Total       858-192=666


One of the newest entries we have found is "NEW YORK" = 666, the obvious implication being that NEW YORK is the home of the United Nations and the New World Order.

Last but not least, it has been pointed out that "US OF AMERICA" = 666. As a proud American, I never in my wildest dreams thought the good old USA could be one of the major bad guys in the coming reign of the Anti-Christ. But over the last few years actions by the federal government too numerous to name here have completely changed my mind about that. The fact that "US OF AMERICA" = 666 comes as no suprise to me,

Oops. Found another one this New Year's Eve just 2 hours before 1998. I have for years used SSNUMBER as a variable name to hold Social Security Numbers in many programs I have written. Guess what? You guessed it. SSNUMBER = 666 too. It's a bit more of stretch than the other words and phrases, but is it really all that far out?

You can try out these and other words and phrases for yourself easily thank to Terry Stough and his great phrase calculator program. Most words and phrases work best if you use all capital letters and skip the spaces, but feel free to try it any way you like.

Right now you are probably saying "Wait a Minute! How does FEDERAL RESERVE = 666?"

That is a very good question. Remember, the Bible says "Let he that has wisdom count (i.e. calculate) the number of the beast." If you looked closely at FEDERAL RESERVE you'll see it equals 858, and I deduct 192 to get 666. Where does the 192 come from? Because of the way the computer math works out, the space between the words actually deducts 192 from the total, yielding the end result 666. We find it quite interesting that it took a computer to figure out that the number of the Federal Reserve is 666, not that we think anyone will be suprised,  8-)



' 666 Searcher
' Helps you keep on the lookout for the Beast, whose number is 666
' Public Domain program written by Brian Francis Redman, Editor-
' in-Chief, Conspiracy Nation, June 7, 1995
'
' Compile using QuickBasic 4.5 or may be portable to BASICA

' Example names: try "Kissinger", "Computer", "NuclearHell", and "Federal Reserve"



CLS
L1% = 0: X1% = 0: X2% = 0: X3% = 0
LOCATE 2, 1
PRINT "Enter name";
Sw1% = 1
WHILE Sw1% = 1
   INPUT A$
   L1% = LEN(A$)
   FOR X1% = 1 TO L1%
       X2% = ASC(MID$(A$, X1%, 1))
       IF X2% > 90 THEN X2% = X2% - 32
       X2% = X2% - 64
       X2% = X2% * 6
       X3% = X3% + X2%
   NEXT X1%
   LOCATE 4, 1
   PRINT A$; " = "; X3%
   B$ = ""
   WHILE B$ = ""
       B$ = INKEY$
   WEND
   LOCATE 6, 1
   PRINT "Again?"
   B$ = ""
   WHILE B$ = ""
       B$ = INKEY$
   WEND
   IF B$ <> "Y" AND B$ <> "y" THEN
       Sw1% = 0
   ELSE
       L1% = 0: X1% = 0: X2% = 0: X3% = 0
       A$ = "": B$ = ""
       CLS
       LOCATE 2, 1
       PRINT "Enter name";
   END IF
WEND
CLS
LOCATE 2, 1
PRINT "Thank you for using 666 Searcher."
END


http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/barcodes/words.html
CultureRe: The Major Problem With Our Society Is The Loss Of Morals & Values by MP007(m): 12:25pm On Dec 28, 2007
you cant teach or preach God in schools. u cant beat and spank, , the world is producing whimps who are selfish,rude and lazy, lack of moral values because parents hands have been tired.

can u believe that the gov. arrested a parent for teaching her child sex education? schools and gov are now taking over child development , lord have mercy, nation of whimpssssss
PoliticsRe: What Will Be The End Of Efcc After Obasanjo Admin? by MP007(m): 12:18pm On Dec 28, 2007
Ribadu just got fired!///
Music/RadioRe: What Songs Make You Cry?! by MP007(m): 9:27am On Dec 28, 2007
God is able- smorkie norful

act like that -tyrese

heartbreaker= tank
PoliticsRe: Benazir Bhutto Former Pakistani Prime Minister Is Dead by MP007(m): 8:59am On Dec 28, 2007
davidylan:
There was no war on terror prior to 9-11, what is the excuse of your islamists?
my islamist? u alright? na me send them?
CelebritiesRe: Mc Weird Confesses She Is A Lesbian by MP007(m): 8:56am On Dec 28, 2007
lyrics lori gan gan,
PoliticsRe: Its Good To Know Nigeria Is Not The Most Corrupt Nation ! by MP007(m): 6:48am On Dec 28, 2007
you people are very funny, who cares about the ranking?this is annoying, who cares if we are number 1 or 4? the point is that the nation is corrupt .we should be talking corruption eradication in stead of corruption ranking, so sad
PoliticsRe: Ribadu Should Be Pressed To Declare His Assets To Nigeria (from 2003 To 2007) by MP007(m): 6:44am On Dec 28, 2007
Big B1:
This is absolutely the right moment to request Mr. Ribadu to present his assets (from 2003 to 2007) to the public.
after obasanjo declares his,
PoliticsRe: Benazir Bhutto Former Pakistani Prime Minister Is Dead by MP007(m): 6:43am On Dec 28, 2007
davidylan:
Mr MP, we are tired of this untenable excuse. So suicide bombers kill Benazir Bhutto because of American foreign policy? What a way of "protesting"!
exactly, bhutto herself said she was willing to help america fight the war against terror, what other prove do u need
PoliticsRe: Ribadu Fired! by MP007(m): 6:11am On Dec 28, 2007
lets not forget that the plot to remove ribadu started when the nigerian bar association and the general public mounted pressure on him(ribadu[b]) to investigate Obasanjo after his term.[/b]
OBasanjo created a hole in the STATUE of EFCC to enable the person he eventually puts into power  get rid of Ribadu incase HE (RIBADU) decides to investigate him (Obasanjo). You ever wonder why Obasanjo didnt ask Ribadu to resign as a police officer before joining EFCC,

How can you make an active AIG the chairman of a commission that is only answerable to the president? the AIG answers to the IG while the EFCC ANSWERs to the president and the statue also declares that the EFCC is not under the police force, so what in the wold was an AIg doing in EFCC?, making an active AIG the efcc chairman made him vulnerable. was a perfect plan.It enables obasanjo to remove Ribadu if he evetually turned against him.Obasanjo is a smart a&^.
Christianity EtcRe: Fela As A Deity. by MP007(m): 5:50am On Dec 28, 2007
", fela did do cocaine but weed " what? who cares, the point is that I just can't imagine someone waking up and worshiping FELLA, funny and stupid
Christianity EtcRe: Did We Really Have Past Lives? by MP007(m): 5:47am On Dec 28, 2007
@ poster, are you suggesting that we humans are recycled spirits and sould?
PoliticsRe: Benazir Bhutto Former Pakistani Prime Minister Is Dead by MP007(m): 5:01am On Dec 28, 2007
The death of bhutto did not surprised me at all. How in the world do u expect bhutto , a harvard graduate to survive the animosity of the mideast?

She died because of american's foreign policy of "do it our way or the hard way", we are seeing the product of the idea of spreading democracy in the heart of the middle east. you have not seen nothing yet, stay tuned.

let nigeria restrict its relationship with america to business only because I do not see nigeria surviving if we are labelled or if we accept the role of "key-ally" in the war against terror.

let[b] the people in the middle east live their lives and stop telling countries and nations what to do like u own them, protect your own borders and people(air [/b] space and water).I bet u , america will soon increase its global military base from 700 to 1000
HealthErrors In Healthcare by MP007(op): 4:19am On Dec 28, 2007
After the IOM report was published, more attention was focused on the issue of medical errors by the federal government, regulatory agencies, healthcare personnel and consumers. The IOM defines a medical error as “the failure of a planned action to be completed as intended or the use of a wrong plan to achieve an aim.”

        One of the first questions commonly asked is, “Why are so many errors occurring?” Typically, individuals have been blamed for many of these mistakes. This “blame game” is the reason many healthcare providers are reluctant to report errors. In reality, however, errors are often the result of faulty systems that allow them to happen. Improvement of these systems can result in a dramatic decrease in errors at a facility. For example, a computerized medication system can help to prevent errors due to poor hand-writing or inappropriate medication orders. Therefore, the typical ways of dealing with errors, such as blaming individuals and providing additional training for them, are less effective ways to deal with errors.

Types of medication errors

There are many types of medical errors, and they can range in severity from no ill effects to serious injury, disability, or death. Some of the more common types of errors relate to:

Medications: Errors in prescribing, transcribing, dispensing, administering or monitoring medications.
Surgery: Includes errors such as operating on the wrong site or leaving a surgical instrument inside the body.
Diagnosis/Treatment: Failure to properly diagnose or treat in a timely manner
Equipment: Errors due to misuse or lack of knowledge of equipment, for example.
Infection: Development of an infection as a result of receiving healthcare.
Injury: Harm occurs, such as a fall or the development of pressure ulcers.


Guidelines to Help Prevent Errors Even though medical errors are often related to systems problems, there are many things you can do to help prevent them:

Communicate effectively: Start by getting clear and accurate information about the care you are to give your assigned patients. Ask questions until you are satisfied that you have the necessary information to do your job properly. Write down any information you’ll need later.
HealthErrors In Healthcare by MP007(op): 4:01am On Dec 28, 2007
After the IOM report was published, more attention was focused on the issue of medical errors by the federal government, regulatory agencies, healthcare personnel and consumers. The IOM defines a medical error as “the failure of a planned action to be completed as intended or the use of a wrong plan to achieve an aim.”

One of the first questions commonly asked is, “Why are so many errors occurring?” Typically, individuals have been blamed for many of these mistakes. This “blame game” is the reason many healthcare providers are reluctant to report errors. In reality, however, errors are often the result of faulty systems that allow them to happen. Improvement of these systems can result in a dramatic decrease in errors at a facility. For example, a computerized medication system can help to prevent errors due to poor hand-writing or inappropriate medication orders. Therefore, the typical ways of dealing with errors, such as blaming individuals and providing additional training for them, are less effective ways to deal with errors.
PoliticsRe: Iyabo Obasanjo In Contract Scandal by MP007(m): 11:41am On Dec 25, 2007
i am sure that people who know about nigerian politics wouldnt regard this story as "breakin news", lord have mercy
RomanceRe: Ridiculous Break-up Excuses by MP007(m): 11:40am On Dec 25, 2007
you deserve better,
EventsRe: Wish Someone A 'Merry Christmas' by MP007(m): 11:36am On Dec 25, 2007
i wish y'all nairalander a merry christmas and a happy holiday.I pray we all make it into the year 2008, may the lord bless y'all , amen!
Nairaland GeneralRe: What Would Make Your Clubbing Experience More Fun? by MP007(m): 11:35am On Dec 25, 2007
not going at all, having fun with friends and family,
Jokes EtcRe: The Arabs And The Americans- Lohlarh by MP007(m): 10:51am On Dec 21, 2007
omg, this is funny grin grin grin
Jokes EtcRe: Newton's Love Theory: by MP007(m): 10:45am On Dec 21, 2007
u have issues
Jokes Etc* Wives ..this is hilarious..happy holidays!! by MP007(op): 10:31am On Dec 21, 2007
1) Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom : Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

**********
                                                **********
  2)      Q - What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
          A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying,  and the other   ensures you continue to do so.
                                                **********

3)       Wife : Do you want dinner?
          Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
          Wife : Yes and no.

                                                  **********
4)       Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
          Husband : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
          Wife : You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
          Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

                                                          **********
5)       Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
          Boy : It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
          Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet.

                                                    **********

7)       A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
          "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE"

                                                          **********
cool       Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
          Son : "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

                                                          **********

9)       Interviewer to Millionaire : To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
          Millionaire : "I owe everything to my wife."
          Interviewer : "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
          Millionaire : "Billionaire"

                                                  **********
  10)     Girl to her boyfriend : One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
          The guy replies : Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha

                                                    **********

11)     A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
          He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor
Deborah
Jokes EtcHostages by MP007(op): 10:26am On Dec 21, 2007
driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?
The man responded "Militants have kidnapped, OBJ, IBB, Atiku, Buhari, Tony Anenih, Ahmadu Ali, Dariye, Nnamani, Odili, Ibrahim Mantu, Tinubu, Kalu, Ibori and Igbinedion. They're asking for a $500 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. So, we're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone contributing, on the average?"
The man responded "About a litre of petrol and a stick of matches."
CelebritiesRe: Jay-z Beating Up Beyonce by MP007(m): 9:42pm On Dec 19, 2007
jay-z /beyonce, another whitney and bobby in the making
RomanceRe: Trust In A Relationship: Should It Be 100%? by MP007(m): 9:34pm On Dec 19, 2007
Siena:
Keeping it brief,

, Yes.
u are whipped,

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