₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=648740.msg8151766#msg8151766 date=1303096488]They are not only rooted in their culture

But they are stressed the hell out in a foreign land.

That is why I wrote what I wrote above.  Their response should be on a totally different level.  Chima - they are aware of their actions.

I believe that they have met as groups in the U.S. - discussing these reactions they have towards their spouse.  Africans many times organize themselves in groups more so than we AA.

We AA are much more disjointed and don't work together as much.  So they have talked and I would be shocked if they Weren't Already Trying to Troubleshoot this Issue as It Is Highly Reflective on The African Male.[/quote]African men may be stressed out in foreign countries but again if they are going to step into a new environment they need to accept CHANGE that comes with it.

I am doing good and you?

I agree 100% to that last portion you said. If we are going to a different environment that we are not used to then we need to accept CHANGE and get with the program or otherwise we need to stay our arses at home.

I hear you.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=648740.msg8151723#msg8151723 date=1303094827]@ Chima:

These men need to EVOLVE.  If you are not getting your way.  Focus on ANOTHER WAY.  I used to get upset when things didn't seem to be going my way.  God pointed out to me - that I am either doing that act or expecting that response to occur at the wrong time or in the wrong way.

African men - if your African woman isn't responding as you want at that moment.  Focus your attention on ANOTHER WAY instead of exploding to violence.  Explode your azz on a walk outside, turn on the silent treatment, start writing a business plan for a new business, if she isn't cooking for you, cook for yourself and/or go out to eat. 

Change is the key word here.  Swallowing pride and reaching for a changed response - because her response towards you "Her watching you not explode" could actually be life altering for her and for you and you could definitely experience a closer bonding depending on how you handle your disappointment with her.

Many, many times an act of love is all she is looking to receive - Romance fuels motivation; motivation is the foundation to finance.  It is very difficult to move to a new environment and expect the same actions that existed in a different environment.  So many times Adults refuse to be the one to give.  When if you are the one who gives in to the other - that one act could ignite a flame in the other person that opens a floodgate of tendencies in them to do exactly what you want them to do and they will even do it better than you had anticipated.[/quote]Everything you said is ON POINT. Now if we were to compare African men (HOLD ON JAYBEE) MOST of them are taught that the man is the HEAD and the final word and the women are subservant to them. It is their culture however American men are used to women sometimes being the provider and even the protector at some point so the differences in culture is a burden to those who decides to marry or date someone from either cultures.

Now these African men that are killing their wives in America, they are still rooted in their culture so the ENVIRONMENT has nothing to do with what someone will do to his or her spouse because they would have done it in their own hometowns as well.

So the excuses are bogus and it should not be tolerated nor acceptable.

I hear you. Someone asked me that a few weeks ago if all the non related men were depleted would I even consider a fifth or sixth cousin. I was like hell no because that still family.

Good! Because I was finna give you the lecture about abuse. I am glad you said you won't excuse abuse! Whew! Girl, you had me worried!

No one should accept abuse of any kind and it is sad that many will die every 60 seconds in the hands of a man or woman who can't keep their hands to themselves.

What about a fifth or sixth cousin?

Brite02:
Both of you are not married yet, right? That make's you a total strange infact a nobody despite the fact that both of you're dating! So let her be, Family(home) first before any other. If both ya were married then it would have been a very tricky question you know!

Even if they were married, a real father would never force his children to choose between him or her/his spouses.

It is a pity that one must choose and you have to question the character of both the father and the spouse in question. It is that simple.

I hear exactly what you are saying Shyone however that still does not excuse murder/abuse from anyone regardless if they are American or African under no circumstances.

I agree that an African in America could be stressful just like an American in African countries can be stressful. We still are responsible for our actions and thoughts.

DaRapture:
I just wanted to know how many of you think you'll end up marrying a person of your own nationality or someone not of your nationality. This question is mostly for those who live outside of their native nation. I ask because I've noticed a rather high rate of African guys whom are not married, dating and or engaged to a African girl.

The vast majority of the African guys I personally know, especially the middle aged and young ones, are settled with mostly AA and White girls, and it's a shame that more African girls do not seek to date outside of their nationality or even ethnic group, because at the rate at which their guys are dating out here in the US, well I'll leave it at that.

There are thousands of African girls that are either married to or dating men that are not Africans. Maybe you are talking about the ones you know in your area but there are African girls all over the world dating other men not just African men.

If these African girls do not want to date outside of their "circle" who are you to tell them who they should date or marry? It is none of your business why they prefer their own. It is their rights as human being to date or marry as they chooses.

Baby girl is too cute.

He killed her because she didn't give the man HER PAYCHECK?

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]*cyber hugs chima* 

thank you sis. That is soooo true. and I def. will remember this.
i appreciate it sis.  the irony is i was looking at his picture
not to long ago and i remembered what shy said, then i checked
and saw you sent me the link. Thanks a bunchies for the kind words Chima.[/color]

No problem sis!  The father love is nothing like any love you will get from your partner or anybody else. A real father will never force you to choose between your HUSBAND and him.

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]lol shut up Chima. [/color]

Hmm. Did you say that online dating is not pronounced in Nigeria? How do you think those women and men from NIGERIA meeting other men and women around the WORLD?

By postal services?

Wow.

Please read the comments under the video! The comments are more interesting than the video. No offense.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=648843.msg8151214#msg8151214 date=1303085949]A well known parable is "Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Milk For Free."

Translation:
Why get married to a woman "buy the cow."  When you can have a girlfriend who will do everything a wife will do and you don't have to tie yourself to her or commit to her - she's free.  Men say that in the U.S. - that is an "old school saying.

"
Now Crude Oil has put another slant to that saying to get NLers to think.  So I am assuming his question is, "When the GF stops giving it up "vajayjay, cooking, cleaning, etc," - "Is it time to now marry her so you can continue to get at a price what you were getting for free."  Or should the man move on to another gf to continue getting free handouts without commitment.

That's my understanding of this thread.

For Your Information (FYI)

Correct me if I'm wrong.[/quote]Oooooh ok. I was like Thanks girl.

Uhmmm Crude Oil,

You are saying that you or men like freebies?

Hmm.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=648727.msg8151174#msg8151174 date=1303085407]Also - find someone in the States to send you a car ro-ro with the money you can make scrapping that car out in pieces to either mechanics in the area or someone(s) who has a car same model and year in Nigeria.

Then pay the car loan off as much as possible so you aren't too deep in the red.  Have your girl help you financially - since she was behind the wheel when it happened.

Killing her won't get the help you need and you can replace a car.  If she is worth anything - loyal, helpful, hard working - she will be worth more to you in your lifetime than a piece of metal that you can buy times 10 and some.[/quote]Exactly suga. It is a big business especially in Africa.

You are right on point when you said "killing her will not solve anything".

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=648727.msg8151179#msg8151179 date=1303085482]ahahahahahahahaha

Much love to you Mrs. C.[/quote]Same to you too suga

calid16:
ehm akata, if u no know your mahleh voice, no be for my mouth you go hear your mama voice, you hear me so ?

@all naija guys and babes, make we use pidgin so make this akata pipo nor derail us.

@odunnu, i talk say i neva finish pay o, even if i sell the scrap e no go say quarter of the balance.

Goldieluks is not akata. Just thought you should know. I believe she is an African woman.

Hmm.

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]Awe shy! Girl you got me teary eyed right now. A lot has been said about my father some good some bad by imbec1les on here but I swear on my life that, that above is the ONLY thing YET that has caused me to get so emotional.   God bless you sis. I know he is watching me and he loves me. He knows I love him too. Aside from my brothers he is the only man I believe that I could love the way I do.

LOL you got me messed up shy LOL I am fanning my eyes right now. That is so touching. Thank you.[/color]

Never let anyone see you sweat concerning your father and there are millions who wish they have their father's love or even know their fathers. My father have taught me to be strong and know that people smile when they see you sweat don't let them see you sweat even if you want to sweat.

Remember those good things about your father and live on with those thoughts in your head. No one even a hater can't take that away from you. Memories good or bad last forever and it is yours to remember.

There is nothing wrong with picking your father over your man for your father will always be there for you remember this even if you branch out and God forbid something happens to that man who would you return to? Of course, your parents for they were the first people you saw coming into this world.

Many people have chosen their partners over their father, mother, and both when they have lost their partners in war, divorce, murder, break up, and abandonment they all returned back to their parents.

Brite02:
^^
Only me suga i trust

Fugg you.

You are finished Jaybee? Your nick name is locks.

The hair spray and lighter is better. I would do the honors. Bring your arse here Brite!

Brite02:
poster

So you get all these qualities yet you aare single? Till now you never get wifey? Sure say you are really up to the task as you've stated. Hmmmm, i no gal i would have loff given ya a try, meanwhile there are lots and lots of fine babes on NL so feel free make CHOICES. . .goldluiks is there, Mz.D is also there, i think mrs. Chima is divorced

make your choice now!!!!

Don't make me release these private messages of you plotting to start a harem and you wanted me to lead the harem with Mz. Darkskin and Goldieluks to name a few. You also said you wish I was muslim so I can be your second wife. Hmm.

Keep it up and I will tell it!