₦airaland Forum

Abeg make una no start world war 3 abi na 4 sef.

@BoredAtWor no am not igbo but urhobo. But I do understand a little of it.

@190 take am easy oh. Thanks for looking out for me sha. I know say u dey joke.

BoredAtWor please don't be angry with 190.

No CC my garden shed doesnt have lightning or heating system besides that there is no room for you until you edit your posts chikena. If you do then I will call Mr CC now and explain to him that it was a slip of your hands on the keyboard. By the way how are the big anld little chaircoverses.

They are doing great Uju. Thanks

*Dialing Mr CC. Phone is ringing. Mr CC answers the call*

Mrs Siena: Mr CC ebo le wa?

Mr CC: Mrs Siena I am at the office. Wats up?

Mrs Siena: Please log on to nairaland go family section click on the topic Re: All The Married/single Ladies,I Hope You Commit lookery After Looking At This and see your rival. Please don't tell Mrs CC I told you oh.

Mr CC: No probs Mrs Siena, I won't. Will get back to you when I see whats there. Take care bye.

Mrs Siena: Ok bye

Mission accomplished 

Thanks Uju. Kedu

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"
The man thought for awhile and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. ,

Lol @ Jennykadry and chaircover. When Siena does that with chicken and I ask him why are you eating it his normal phrase is 'You know how it is' and my reply is no I don't.

Kai Siena no dey allow anybody to eat for our car oh, including me. Its a no-go area even if you are dead hungry he would rather stop at macdonald's for you to eat there rather than eat in the car.

I love the way he wakes me up in the morning. Even though our baby girl keeps me up sometimes.

What are the things your spouse does that interest you despite your differences. It doesn't matter how small it is please share it with us.

Now let's see what does Siena do that interest me? Oh yes, I love the way he surprises me with gifts. He loves cooking and he is a good cook. He knows how to cook chicken and fry them more than I do. Even though some parts of it get missing sometimes because he loves it

Before he does anything he always ask for my opinion first. He also looks after our daughter during the day when he has a day off work for me to catch up on sleep.

@ Jennykadry yes Princess Sienna has gotten a play mate.

@ Darapture how is Naomi doing today? And how is her mum doing too? Hope she is getting enough rest. Welcome to sleepless nights

chaircover:
eeya Congratulations o! May God bless her.

You people should stop making me feel broody o! with your beautiful daughters

Me too. Lol. Just kidding. Wish I could have a cuddle. Chaircover if you don't mind my asking how many have you got now?

Awwww! she is so so cute. Thank God for the new addition and since she has been added to your family God in His infinite mercies cause your family to always celebrate and be joyful. Congrats.

Mama-gee don't even go there if you do you would be sorry.

I be your mate. Just stay where you are or else,

Dang I thought it was you mama-gee, my bad.

@ Jennykadry ya son never fulfil him obligations now remember the requirements wey chaircover give if he fit do all of them then our daughter is yrs. Sienna is fine thanks

Mama-gee Caroline Ekanem did not use bleaching cream that is her colour. I wonder why you like dissing people.

Mama Gee is married at last. Congrats On behalf of nairaland we wish you happy married life

Wayne Rooney's wife Coleen

Tudor since you don't believe in God I don't see the reason why you are here please please and please take a walk. This is a thread for people who believe in miracles. Yes there was no record which shows that the woman prayed to God for her baby to come back to life but God gave her the wisdom for her to do what she did. Even in the Bible there was no mention of God in the book of Esther that doesn't mean that our Heavenly Father doesn't exists. It is a fool that says in his/her heart there is no God.

sley4life:
depends how close she is to me and her attitude

You cannot be any closer to the one you are married to. Are you close to your friend than your wife? If she wasn't close to you why did you marry her in the first place? You should have remained single if you know that you won't disclose anything to your wife especially how much you earn

Some nigerian men and their mentality. Thank God my husband doesn't have such mentality. We don't hide anything from each other. I don't see any reason to. It's not as if my being told how much he earns makes me make unneccessary demands on him. Why won't you disclose to your wife how much you earn? What is there to hide?

So sad I lost my mother-inlaw before my husband and I got married. She was a darling, a sweetheart, a mother. She took me as her own daughter even before getting married to her son. She taught me a lot of things when I was a teenager. All thnaks to her because she raised a very wonderful son.

Mutter if you respect the institution of marriage according to you then the woman packing out of her husband's house is not the solution. Its possible that the mother inlaw and the daughter in law has had fights in the past and the daughter inlaw doesnt want to go through all that again. I would advise the daughter inlaw to allow the mother inlaw to stay with them until she fully recovers from her surgery after which she should go back home. If she doesn't then her husband should tell the mother to go back instead of allowing her to create problems in their home.

No one who wants to spoil or break my home will be welcomed there at all. Even if the person is my mother, sister or brother. Anybody that disrespects my husband would be kicked out. Its as simple as that no two way about it.

A mother who nursed her premature baby back from the dead has been describing how she refused to give up even though doctors had told her he would not survive. Kate Ogg gave birth to twins in a hospital in Sydney, Australia.

They were delivered at 27 weeks, weighing just 2lb, and though Mrs Ogg's little girl Emily was healthy, her brother Jamie was not breathing.

After battling to save him for 20 minutes, medical staff told her he had not survived.

"The doctor asked me had we chosen a name for our son," said Mrs Ogg.

"I said 'Jamie' and he turned around with my son already wrapped up and said: 'We've lost Jamie, he didn't make it, sorry'.

"It was the worst feeling I've ever felt. I unwrapped Jamie from his blanket. He was very limp."

Mrs Ogg told Channel 7's Today Tonight programme that she wanted to hold him next to her skin.

"I took my gown off and arranged him on my chest with his head over my arm and just held him.

"He wasn't moving at all and we just started talking to him.

"We told him what his name was and that he had a sister. We told him the things we wanted to do with him throughout his life."

After two hours, he began showing signs of life.

"Jamie occasionally gasped for air, which doctors said was a reflex action," Mrs Ogg explained.

"But then I felt him move as if he were startled, then he started gasping more and more regularly. I gave Jamie some breast milk on my finger, he took it and started regular breathing normally."

"I thought 'Oh my God, what's going on?' A short time later he opened his eyes. It was a miracle.

"Then he held out his hand and grabbed my finger. He opened his eyes and moved his head from side to side. The doctor kept shaking his head saying: 'I don't believe it, I don't believe it'."

It is thought that the warmth of Mrs Ogg's body acted like an incubator to keep the baby warm and stimulated.

It adds weight to the theory of "kangaroo care", named after the way marsupials care for their young in their pouches.

Some experts believe a skin-to-skin approach is more beneficial than taking newborn babies into intensive care incubators.

Jamie is now a healthy five month old.

His father David told the Channel 7 programme: "Luckily I've got a very strong, very smart wife. She instinctively did what she did. If she hadn't done that, Jamie probably wouldn't be here."
Source: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100827/twl-mum-s-miracle-cuddle-brings-baby-bac-3fd0ae9.html

Isn't God awesome. This story goes to show that one shouldn't give up. If you refuse to die no one will bury you.

@ Angiefan thanks and God bless you.

@r231 talking yes (lol) walking not yet, singing yes just like her mum. Thanks for your comments

The woman is seen throwing the cat in the wheelie bin before walking away
The RSPCA has said it will be speaking to a woman caught on CCTV dumping a cat into a wheelie bin in Coventry.

Lola, a four-year-old tabby, was discovered 15 hours later by owner Darryl Mann after he heard her cries.

He then checked his security cameras and saw footage of the woman first stroking Lola and then grabbing her by the neck and throwing her in the bin.

Police said they had identified the woman and community support officers had been stationed outside her home.

Mr Mann, 26, of Brays Lane, said he had not noticed that Lola had been missing.

"She is a night cat. We sometimes don't see her in the day unless she comes in for food."

He said he had been going out to his car on Sunday morning when he heard her meowing.

"I thought at first she was under the car. But then I found her in the bin."

He later checked his CCTV, which he installed for security reasons, to see how Lola had ended up in the bin.

"I thought she might have got in herself - she's not the brightest cat.

"It's disgusting, she's a lovely cat, she'd never hurt anyone.

Large crowd

"I don't know how someone could do it to such a defenceless animal.

"Obviously, we had to go through a good few hours of video footage, but, within a couple of hours we had it on the internet."

West Midlands Police said they received a call on Sunday evening reporting what had happened.

They said the actions caught on CCTV could constitute an animal cruelty offence because of the likely suffering caused to the cat.

The force said it was supporting the RSPCA investigation and urged the public to leave the matter to the authorities.

It said a large crowd had gathered outside the woman's home and police community support officers were there to monitor the situation.

"Media speculation that the woman is being given police protection is categorically not the case," it added.

"Community support officers are outside the woman's address monitoring a large group of people - most of them from the media - for public order purposes as per routine police procedure."

It said the RSPCA was due to talk to the woman shortly.

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-11068063

When I was pregnant a little girl about 3 years old asked me why I had a big tummy. I told her a baby is in there. She asked me further how did the baby get there? I was like well, well, I didn't know how to respond to her question so I simply told her to go ask her mum.

So what funny questions have you been asked by a kid and what was your response?

You don't know what you have until you lose it

don't worry 190. thanks but no thanks

@afrobaby and hbabe no vex na send person send am to me at first i be wan vex but later i come dey laugh

@190. no worry Omo dey plenty plenty

A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner. When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.



The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly." So in this way, their love won and they returned home.



The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometime that she recovered from her shock.



The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly. Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.



The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately. She washed the stains but some remained.



Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.



She was very tired. In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked at the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted. The old lady woke her up,  and gave her a blue box, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this, ?"













The old lady replied,







<SCROLL DOWN PLEASE>













<SCROLL DOWN PLEASE>






































,  it will remove all stubborn stains!!!



Please do not even start swearing at me,  I am also mad and i'm still hunting for the person who mailed this to me!  , LMAO

Kneeling down to feed your husband cake on your wedding day is not just the issue. You need to ask yourself these questions:

Will I still be kneeling down when I serve him his meals?
Is this going to be a one time thing just for the sake of the wedding?
Is kneeling down a sign of submission on the woman's part?

Someone can kneel down physically but her heart won't be submissive. I don't agree that one should kneel down just one time when one is feeding her husband on your wedding day for the whole world to see and when you get back home you stop doing it. If you want to kneel down to feed your husband cake at the wedding then continue the same. Don't stop.

Just be yourself if you don't feel like kneeling down then don't if you want to then do it. Don't do it because people want you to do it because you want to.

Love still dey shark us oh Jennykadry

whiteroses don't worry soon I mean very soon your knight in shining armour will come and sweep you off your feet.