₦airaland Forum

dawnomike:
How was he before you guys got married?

just average, we went out just once in a while

Hello guys. Straight to the topic. In my eight years of marriage, he has never taken me out. I look good and dress well, i even have toasters outside. I am very faithful to him. I actually envy couples that go to outing, take pictures, create memories with their loved ones, but his own is different. Whenever i bring it up, he starts talking about this responsibility and the other one. I even told him that we should add money together just incase he doesnt have much, but he refused. I want to experience it and also want my 5 year old daughter to experience it too but she has never. He promised me that if i take in, he would take me out. It happened and he gave excuses until i forgot it. He then said wen i put to bed, we will go out. We never did. Even we dont celebrate anniversary because he doesnt want to spend anything. Na by force i dey take buy pepper meat and drink bitter just to mark the day. There was a day his friend offered to take me out in his presence. He didnt say anything. When it was almost evening time and I reminded the friend, if u see the way my husband shouted that i was long throat and that its ojukokoro that will kill me. I was so embarrassed. Now we are not on talking terms since yesterday because I reminded him about this outing issue, he said that with me, he knows he will never progress because I was an enemy of progress. Please i am dying of boredom and I cant go out with another man because he will get angry. Please is this stinginess or wat?
PS : he dishes soup for me because he counts meat in the pot. I dont steal meat ooo

MsJackson:
I dreamt that i was counting a lot of money. What does it mean?

please reply thank u

I dreamt that i was counting a lot of money. What does it mean?

Does he still work with maxfm? I listen everyday but dont hear his and sean amadi's voice anymore

Jesuspikin8:
Who here misses Zain Africa Challenge?

Present sir. I MISS IT LIKE WEREY

rafhell:
Something tells me the OP is a big liar.
Let us read between the lines. You put out your post 11 days ago asking for advice. In eleven days, all these drama had played out.
You even got a 2 bedroom accommodation close to your work place and you already moved in with the kids.
Madam or whoever you are, not everybody on nairaland is daft.

Nice storyline BTW

that she posted the story 11 days ago doesn't mean that that's when the whole matter happened, it myt have happened earlier

Esseite:
-She is beautiful
-She is intelligent
-She is independent
-She slays right
-She is classy
-She is quick to correct your arrogance while being loving to her Man
-She is a woman
-She is not an asslicker
-She is not a bandwagon individual.

If no one has told you, this is what 21st century bachelors are looking for not a housemaid or a pushover. The low esteem ones would castigate and call you names but would never pick a nina over you.

Doesn't follow abeg. Genevieve Nnaji and Rita Dominic are all that, and no man don ask dem wetin dem carry. What I know is that a bitter arrogant woman always find it difficult to clinch a good man. Argue with urself. Datz all.

KunmiRoxitaLTD:
Will there be traveling allowance ? If yes I will tell you to take it . you can even use the opportunity to get your contract while doing the job

no traveling allowance, I'll go with the company vehicle.

Please advise. I'm an electrician. I got an offer with a pharmaceutical company,

pocohantas:
Yes!
I think he mentioned his parents have a school or so. Be like they came top in the last competition o...can't remember the details

Yes, they own THE AMBASSADORS COLLEGE at ota, Ogun State. The Osewas. Nairaland Oga Seun's family.

Nuezha:
Serious!

Please consider the following before you think of confessing, because he will ask you.

Who did you cheat on him with? Better not be his family member, friend, business partner, a lowlife (his driver, gateman etc), your old timer, because these will make it hard (not impossible) for him to pardon you.

Where did you cheat? Better not be in his home.

When did you cheat? Better not be moments when he was sick or had any problem.

Why did you cheat? No reason is cogent enough if you're legally married to him.

Confession is good, but seeking counsel before confession is the best move.

So drivers and gatemen are lowlives? YOU STUPIDITY KNOWS NO BOUNDS.

The aPORNstle suleman vs HOTobo case just end like that?

May God punish troublesome bastard inlaws

Nwodosis:
Ritualists have upgraded too since cutting of heads go with much risk! RIP.

chimelum ajanma

How about always eating in dream? I See food almost everytime in my dreams and I eat it always. I need interpretation Please

Loisemm:
MsJackson, I like your strength and defence of ur marriage despite what you are going thru. Now pls take this strength and channel it into your marriage. If u believe your marriage will work and u work towards it, dear, it will surely work. Do not permit ppl to dictate what happens in ur home. Do not permit those who do not know how u started with ur Husband to make u doubt ur marriage. Do not permit ur sisters inlaw to destroy ur home cos at the end, they will go back to their own intact homes and u will be left with ruins. Concentrate ur efforts on ur home. Leave ur sisters inlaw to their opinions. Lets learn to make other ppl's actions and opinions hv less impact on our joy/lives. Anything u do, ppl will still talk. So live ur life to please ur God n immediate family first. If u think its cos of delay in having children that is causing this, then keep working on getting pregnant. Not worrying urself over what others are thinking and doing.

Yes Yes thanks.

PresVA:
Really nice...

If your husband can change for good and see you for who you really are (his lovely wife), then your problem is solved; SILs will be ignored or they'll come around! !

I wish you the best...

I appreciate your kind words

Tolatutu:
You are far too judgmental yes many women do that but if she says that's not the case who are you to say no. Can you know better than her what transpired Not all cases are the same , she's right that it may be the child issues. There are cases of even mother in laws who liked their daughter in law until childbirth challenge and then suddenly they'll start saying she must have committed abortions or she's a witch and blah blah. Truth is in this society people love to blame women for delays in childbirth and they start to see the woman as the one who's stopping their brother or son from having a child.

Thanks my dear, for understanding. Leave onegai, I don't have strength for argument. I say white, she insists vehemently on seeing black, be my guest, no time.

Onegai:
Almost everyone who told you that you brought this upon your head is married. So yeah, we know what sucking up to relatives looks like. Or do you eat from the same plate as your mother and siblings? You think your tale is new? You saw a lastborn son, surrounded by sisters and played a role you couldn't sustain. Evidence of this is in what you say. If you had been friendly but maintained your boundaries before marriage, wouldn't your husband have known that you don't like interference from his family? Now you're coming here to throw yourself a pity party.
You sound exactly like some girl I know, who was sucking up to the husband's family in order to secure her ring. When she couldn't maintain it, she started acting up and most ignored her but her foolishness made her start fighting his mum (of course everyone turned against her). She packed out of the house her MiL pays the bills for, claiming the same things you are, painting a terrible picture and informing anyone who cared to listen of greviances that never happened (not one sibling insulted her to get face or even shouted at her, they told her to please respect the fact that they are all older than her and stop insulting their mum on fb).

Hmm, are you her?

Go and speak to your husband that you two should keep your lives private and be polite to your SiLs. Shikena.

And for all you singletons out there, biko stop pretending. You're just setting yourself up for future wahala. Show them your madness so there are no surprises. My MiL likes to yab me that I'm doing certain things for eye-service and she's usually right. But at least I didn't pretend before marriage

Throwing myself a pity party?And when did I tell u that he is the last born? because the way u comfortably and confidently assumed, I no understand. Please stay off my case, I don't need your type here.

EfemenaXY:
A marriage should be enjoyed and not endured.

What you've described is anything but that. Additionally, the early years of marriage should be the "sweetest", especially before the kids roll in. You're barely into the 2^nd year of yours and you've been dragged to hell and back, and back into hell again - when you ought to be in your honeymoon phase enjoying each other's company like there's no tomorrow.

But you haven't got that, have you? And yet you cling on, desperately. Love. Commitment. And respect, you say?

Mrs Jackson. Your husband doesn't love you - otherwise he wouldn't be treating you the way he currently does.

Mrs Jackson. Your husband isn't committed to you - otherwise you wouldn't suspect him of cheating on you.

Mrs Jackson. Your husband certainly doesn't respect you - otherwise he wouldn't let his family / sisters walk all over you, make derogatory comments about you - but would instead stand solidly behind you and support you in public.

Your idea(s) of what a marriage entails is/are wrapped to say the least.

Don't for a moment think bringing forth children into such a union would magically resolve your foundational issues. On the contrary, they'll add to them.

Stop papering over the yawning gaps and cracks in your "marriage". Open your eyes and admit the obvious. Be realistic.

Then should I just walk out of my marriage? not work at it? I can't just give up. People change. With God, all things are possible. Also av stopped working with my sister inlaw some months ago.He loves me, don't say he doesn't. And we'll both work to see things work out. We talked deep just now. Really deep. God, myself and my man will make this marriage work. I'll not give up. Thank u all for your advice.

For those of you Who still insisted that I knowingly went into this marriage with the sisters attitude, well I can't try to convince you further. if u aren't married, then you'll know that circumstances could change people. in my case, the issue of childbirth changed them(I think ), because they were so welcoming. we even ate from the same bowl(literally and otherwise ) we were that close. God dey.

EfemenaXY:
So why are you still with him?

I mean, what are you gaining from the "union" apart from misery?



So I ask again, what's keeping you in there?

love. commitment. respect for marriage.

my mum and sisters are blaming me seriously for being too slack. seriously I didn't notice this attitude in them before marriage. they acted soooo nice to me, then.

I've been praying and will continue to pray. We did court, but like I said, they were all pretending. never knw until recently. the sisters are all married with kids, they're older to him. It's sooo bad that when I had a miscarriage last year, my hubby told them. not a single word of comfort from them. only my parents in-law love me. but these sisters keep poisoning their minds. I belong to one conception group on fbk, a woman posted that she had a miscarriage, I only comforted her, I never made reference to myself. that same evening, my father inlaw called my hubby to ask him if I posted on fbk for the whole world to see that I had a miscarriage. my hubby defended me because, thank God, I showed him the fbk post before I uploaded it. then my father inlaw admitted that it was one of his daughters Who called him to report me. my father inlaw is not on fbk. Imagine another scenario. Where I was working with my eldest sister in-law, she was always reporting to her hubby abt my activities. I can never talk to a man or wear the trousers my own hubby bought for me to go to work with. All the sisters and parents inlaw will hear. she even told my hubby that men were always dragging me into the toilet at work. WHICH MAN WILL HEAR SUCH? I was paralysed with shock. Why will I be close to such people? simple I LOVE U from my hubby to me gets them angry. they never showed all these traits to me before marriage. Maybe it's because no child. AM I GOD? had I know... #sobs#

He

Hi people. My brother was sent an email yesterday by the above company yesterday

[quote author=proo212 post=27510895]I'm sorry MsJackson, are you for real?


yeah baby am realer than d word itself, its d intensity of it dts d koko, obviously his libido is higher than mine, i gats catch up b4 express leave me

EfemenaXY:
Mr?

aint you a guy?

Lol. Lovely advice frm u all, tnx. I guess i gats value wat i got before...nothing go happen jor. Mr Efemena, am good nw, adaptation things. But why some girls beefing me? At least am being honest. I'll improve.

Ucheosefoh:
Try to beat him in his own game whenever he is passing grab him too or anytime he wants to go out for something not serious enough stop and demand for sex or anything you can do with him infact na him go first tire

worth trying. Tnx mr.

This is serious my friends. I notice he gets sad whenever i protest or playfully push him away. I try to make it up to him sha. By pulling him back. Dt ok?