₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
I completely understand your plight. In fact, you don't need to explain anything else for me to conclude that he's indeed wicked and needs to change. I can never understand how a man would walk out of his home, his wife, and their only child just because his wife is temporarily out of a job in a country where the majority are either jobless or grossly underpaid.
Thank you soooo much. I'll try talk to someone he will listen to, and hope for the best.

This is the best time to work on fixing your marriage. Perhaps you could find someone to talk some sense into him. A job can come later, once he's in a better place mentally and is sensible enough to be responsible.

madscientist88:
you are welcome please also take note, everything i said here is just my own perceptions,my allegations of him cheating could be wrong but i am just stating the obvious.

Acidosis:
No, I won't do that. A job cannot fix a wicked man.

PedoBear:
Walk to any establishment and apply to be a cleaner


It's not that hard to do that considering you're in need of work

www-nairaland-com/7930422/office-cleaning-job-attractive-salary?iorg_service_id_internal=1646953538912597">https://https-www-nairaland-com/7930422/office-cleaning-job-attractive-salary?iorg_service_id_internal=1646953538912597%3BAfpkIW-2KKVEv45l

Or if you are a humble brag , make soap and distribute

layzie:
I am actually more worried about your closing questions.
It tells me you have not even taken a proper appraisal of your situation. Ok let me answer u.
1. What does it matter to u, if we tell u what he did is right or wrong? Does it change ur situation? Or u just want a sense of 'yes he is wrong', then wat? Money will fall down?
2. Y do u assume he will come back? Or even if he does, y assume he will stay?

Change your mindset now to the mindset of:
1. I have got this
2. I will get myself out of this situation and live my best life with or without him.

Then get to work. Cos u have work to do on urself, for u and ur baby's sake.

StPete:
I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop.

In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh

madscientist88:
where is he spending the night?my take is he could be seeing another woman and is using your unemployed status as an excuse to go out,no reasonable male friend would camp a married man in his house for that long,the economy of the country is bad ,bad enough to drive people to do crazy things.best is to get a honest response on were he has been all these while,second is to let him explain what lesson that is to serve your child and how that could affect her mental development, Remind him of your wedding oath,if it means anything? you both promise to fix your problems United as a family not seperated,so why would he walk away and what was that supposed to mean to you? question here is how smart are you? instead of teaching,you could learn a skill on how to knit or weave with wool,doing so would earn you lot's of money,i am advising you to learn a skill you could use working from home and 8n comfort of your home,you can sell your products to schools and hospitals have a contract with them to make clothing for new born babies.or you learn how to bake and make a special snack recipe like popcorn or biscuits you need a skill to help pending on when you get a job,tell him you want to learn a skill so you can do something to earn money pending on when you get a job.things are hard but dont give up.

Sirqt5:
If you lost ur job, he can't be a man -step up n provide like he ought to? He's cheating. He's just using silly excuse to leave. Na cheating things. Man got another woman or whole family somewhere

Kobojunkie:
Did you guys fight before he decided to walk out on you or something?

Kobojunkie:
These questions of yours, are they really necessary? Do you need others to tell you whether he was right or wrong in this?

You said you had to borrow money to feed your sick kid, how do you intend to pay it back ASAP without work? I think instead of worrying about what he did, you should focus all of your energy and effort on finding yourself a job or at least improving yourself— maybe through skill acquisition — so when an opportunity does finally show up, you will be more than ready for it. I hope your intention is not to get the money back from the husband when he finally changes his mind.

GodWrites:
You said you are a talkative. You surely deserve to be disrespected. Why not work in the marketplace? At least you will find market women you can compete with as a talkative? There's nothing more shameful than a man who talks anyhow. In my years of existence, I have learned that no one can disrespect you until you disrespect yourself.

Sharpsharp00123:
your problem is that u don’t know when to draw d line

How can u make yourself too available all in d name of mr nice?

U no get wife or are u a stay at home dad cos I don’t understand

bukhety:
are u a witness?

bukhety:
Im so sorry about your experience. it broke me, i have young ones about your daughter's age and i practically showed them this story this night. i used it to teach them to be more careful. pls my sister, i sent you a mail. kindly respond. I would like to ask you about something. thanks

VirileNelly2420:
Sometime ago, fostering boy of around 10-11yrs lied against me in d past. Told his friends (also family members) dat I brought a certain gal into d house who even slept over... Dat d gal saw him d following morning and threatened to deal with him if he ever opens up, also promised to buy him something wen coming next time. D gossip had to spread till it got to d ears of d innocent gal. The gal took it up, came to our house and d silly fostering boy claimed he was only joking with it. I was just mad! I dealt with him in a way he would never forget.

But here, even wen anything is possible, I think 4yrs is 80% closer to the truth. And d story says d gals family has acknowledged and apologized for d crime, d bone of contention here is da she and her daughter were left out in d bargain and she thinks da her consent and that of her daughter matter.

EXOUSIAng:
Msjackson please kindly send me a mail. I believe your daughter needs therapy.
I would recommend a doctor who is focused on handling cases like yours. He also does does group therapy. I hope you are based in Lagos. Without therapy your child may be psychologically affected.
No be everything be prayer

koolaid87:
Y'll need a family therapy.

That'll stay with your daughter for a while. She needs a therapy and so did you.

Im sorry to hear that happened to your child.

WantsandMore:
Take her to therapy, she maybe traumatized , WRAPA, INCRESE offer free sessions.

seborrhic:
So they were teaching them sexuality issues in sunday school,as per how it is wrong for a girl to suck her fellow girl,in sunday school and it was then she knew what was done to her was wrong
Left to your type,which hopefully there are very little of,all shouts of thief,thief,should be followed by burning of the person being running,then ask questions after the burning

Ishilove:
Oh, poor child. She is traumatized

SubPlot:
OP, your narrative is heartbreaking.
Please, you & your spouse must stand on the same page & address this matter in the best interest of your child & also help the 15 years old girl to break the cycle of repeated abuse of other toddlers or young children.

The Ministry of Social Welfare/Women Affairs in your place of residence can refer you to appropriate Counseling Services or Civil Society Organisations who assist victims of abuse.

You need professional Counseling to help your child heal the trauma.
Also, that 15 year old was highly likely abused, she also needs Professional Counseling & Therapy to readjust her psyche & receive healing from abuse.

Also, please be vigilant and alert, for checkmate any ugly scenario in future.

You can find helpful info/videos on JWs website.

Foodqueen:
Your daughter needs justice, that's why she can't get it off her head.

MsJackson:
Good morning house. I need your opinion on this issue.
Around May last year, my husband and I went with my 4 year old daughter to visit my sister in-law (hubby's elder sister). They insisted they wanted her to stay some days with them, that I should return for her in two or three days time. After much persuasion from my oga, I left her. But my heart wasn't settled because I've never stayed away from her for that long.
I just noticed that when we called her on video call the very next morning, she looked and sounded depressed, telling us to come take her home. I just thought she was missing me.
I returned the next three days to pick her up. It was even the oldest cousin, a 15 year old girl, who was actually very fond of my daughter that helped me carry her on her back and saw us off to the bustop.
Two or 3 months later, at the end of a Bible study I had with her, my baby said she wanted to tell me something. Hubby was lying on the couch. My baby said the period I took her to that house, the 15 year old girl was always sucking her vagina. My brain shut down immediately. Her dad jumped from the couch and told her to repeat what she just said. She did. She also said that the girl usually holds her mouth close during the act, and that she beats the girl on the head to stop what she was doing, but the girl refused and beat my daughter back.
I broke down. Hubby had never become so mad at his family to the extent of turning his back on them, to the extent of shutting his dad up, but he did all these because his only child was involved.
The family, they all said my daughter was lying. My question is: can a four year old lie about such? The nature of this supposed lie. I don't think so. But all the family members said my daughter lied. And even the girl denied it.
They are totally refusing to address this. They even after some weeks have codedly believe such happened and have called my husband to beg, hubby said so, I don't know if it's true or not. But me the wife, NOBODY, I REPEAT, NOBODY CALLED ME. Like I am nothing in their eyes. Not even the evil mother that insisted my daughter spent some days with them. It's not like if they called me to apologize it would change the past, no, but I might have some tiny relief.
My daughter talks about that experience till date. Even up till yesterday. I am beyond heartbroken. I can't forgive.
The family all turned their face away. Nobody cared to address it, even his parents. A 9 year old marriage. I'm thinking of going to their church to expose her because I hear the 15 year old girl is getting baptized next week. Hubby told me to forget about it, his brother told me not to try it. But anytime my daughter remembers this incident and brings it up, I become very disturbed. I don't know what to do. Please advise me.