₦airaland Forum

MsFaith:
Why must a relative come and stay in her marriage/family in the first place? Marriage supposed to a union between father, mother and children only, relatives are intruders!

Thank you. It's only in backward countries like Nigeria that relatives can just come to your house and expect you to shoulder their responsibilities when they are old enough to work and live on their own.

Some relatives are just either freeloaders or trouble makers.

When my parents were still young and used to let them stay with us na Dat time dem show my mama shege.

Some will just sit in the room morning till night waiting for her to cook and clean up after them they will not even bother to assist with any house work acting like they are living in a hotel with free food and free servants.

Another one went round spreading lies about my family to neighbors and one took it upon herself to report everything my mom does and says to the whole family.

I believe women do it to discourage relatives from living with them and avoid trouble from extended family.

God bless you and your endeavors fattbabakay. You will never ever lack anything you desire. Thanks for the recharge.

fattbabakay:
da start from here:

The first 50 people to quote me with phone number and network will chop 200 airtime each.

Kindly send some to me
mtn.God bless you.

Manboyoo:
I am very sure you are not close to your family

I think he is under pressure from family to provie thats why he sees things like that.

But OP be since to yourself, did you people bully him or make fun of him when he was growing up and trying to make it? He sounds like he is angry with you all for some reason and just trying to get revenge.
Why will he call to rub your face in his wealth and then make fake promises to help and even refuse you entry into his house if you didn't do anything to hurt him before? Sounds so wierd to me.
If you didn't treat him bad in the past and he is now doing all this then he is just a heartless sadist.

Reasonabledoubt:
He is not you father. He owes you guys nothing. If he decides to help your mum, it’s coz he wants to do so, not coz he has to.

It is the responsibility of a parent to train his/her children, so your mum did not do him or you guys a Favour by not remarrying,, you people were not consulted before she decided to have you. So training you guys was not a privilege, it was her absolute responsibility.
Get your own life and stop looking at him for help.
Some of you siblings expect that your older ones or the richer sibling will die for you.
Nigerians and their entitlement mentality.

Its really not about entitlement. If you love and care for your family you would help them when they need you. He is not under obligation to help which is true but his actions potray a lack of affection in his heart towards his mom/siblings. Why can't he just explain that he is under the strain of catering for his wife and kids instead of calling everytimeto brag about his wealth?

amprat:
we are just 6, including him and mum, besides he is one of thos3 people who flaunt money in your face and tells the ones still in university to go and hustle, that he has reached a stage where he can use 50k for just refreshments, the last time he travelled to Dubai he made sure everyone knew including his mother and told her he should have taken her there but he just didn't.

You all should ignore him and stop asking for stuff. Stop calling or contacting him since the only purpose he serves in your life is to cause you grief. When he realises he is non existent to you he will start thinking his life again. If he calls you, pick, but don't ever initiate contact no matter how many promises he makes.

Eleganza33:
me pls

Please give me. Thanks

Amazonboss:
My mail is on my signature,kindly find it attached.

Thank you so much.
How much do I have to pay in the process?

Please I need a new pair of ladies shoes size 40. My old pair is torn and fallen apart so many times, am wasting money always sewing it.

Or cash gift of any amount is welcome too. I literally have only 3000 left in my account.
Thanks and God bless.

I am open to more suggestions @ anyone who has them. Thank you.

Amazonboss:
Online businesses too are not easy dear!

You need to have some info at your finger tips.

However scroll around nairaland and do some due diligence before venturing into any.

Truth: for for good income,you need to spend some money too and good hands to guide you.


I'm involved in one,you may want to llok at it if you don't mind. Send me a mail to my mail address @ my signature

And include whatsapp number for a seminar tonight.

Thanks.
I was a bit busy this evening, I didn't have time to check this thread. When is your next seminar?

@future investors: oga I don't have 100,000 or 150,000 to sink into a biz I don't understand. Thanks for helping anyway.

Good day everyone. I am a bit cash strapped at the moment and due to certain circumstances I can only work from home for now. If you have any good ideas for online businesses please suggest to me, I need money for me and some family members.
Something I can do from my phone or system. Please I really need help on online jobs that are profitable from those who have tried and trusted them, thanks.

Guitarlife:
This mentality is really sickening.
The people shouting gender equality would not speak up now.
Why is he obligated to take care of her needs ? Is she handicapped or something ?
So because she is a female she does not have the capacity to work and earn her own money and take care of herself ?

If she was married then I'd expect the two couples to discuss how they want the affairs of the home.
It is liabilities and women who have nothing else to offer than the hole in between their legs that reason like this.

All the hard working women that I have come across dont even reason like this.

Can you even read?

Where did I say he is obligated to take care of her needs or that she shouldn't work to take care of herself?
Where is it written in my post? Better read properly before drawing conclusions.

NoToPile:
I didn't read the OP but from the comments I wonder why we are equating sex and buying things(or giving money) to your lady.

There are people in sexless relationships and their boyfriend/ fiance still gives them cash / items.

Not giving your partner anything is stinginess simple.

So those who don't have sex in relationships can't receive gifts from their guys?

Guys justifying nonsense since time immemorial.

Can you imagine the rubbish, five whole years and nothing. The girl is not even asking for regular upkeep or pocket money, just maybe birthday gift or something small that normal couples give to each other while dating.

Many men these days want to be stingy and selfish and they hide under the guise of calling girls gold diggers.

Girls, I repeat : A man who will not give you anything at all while dating will certainly not provide for you in marriage, forget it.
He should be able to show his willingness to take care of you should you eventually tie the knot. Not that he will always fund your bank account or be solely responsible for your upkeep but at least a birthday or anniversary gift will do. Not giving anything even 100naira, shows that he hates the idea of providing for you and he will most likely not do so after getting married. If you complain after marriage he will tell you that you always knew him like that before the marriage and you went ahead to marry him so why are you complaining now?

Guitarlife:
For the ladies supporting the OP and justifying her, the boyfriend is not her father.

I do not blame you all supporting the lady. It appears both you all and the Op do not have fathers or havr fathers and mothers who depend on the children for survival.
That is the new trend otherwise if your parents were capable of meeting your needs why would you need a man to do that and justify your actions by stating that you give him s.ex.

You all should go on google type the word "p.ros.ti.tue" click on the first returned result read it.
Find a mirror and look at it.
That image you see is exactly what you just read.

First of I am one of those supporting the OP so I will take this post personally. You are the one that doesn't have a father or you have parents that depend on you for survival.
I return your curse back to you.
Secondly, you yourself type the word inept, wretched miser on Google and read it. What you see in the mirror is that you just read.

UjuJoan2:
Eziokwu? . . . I hope the boyfriend won't be upset when I decide to reserve my body for my husband then.

Apart from sex you will also not cook or clean his house until you get married. Don't assist him with any house chores after all you are not his mother or maid.

^^^^Complete and absolute rubbish.

A girlfriend/fiancee is perfectly within her rights to test how well a man is capable of providing for her self and her children after they get married because a man's primary duties in a family is to provide.
It doesn't make her a gold digger or whatever nonsense men these days are saying. If a man comes here to say he took his fiancee to his house and she couldn't cook properly and couldn't keep the house clean everybody, men and women alike will support him and tell him not to marry her without her changing and learning those things.
Nobody will question why he expected the girl to cook and clean for him since she isn't his mother or daughter.

Girls listen carefully : If a man is not giving you anything before marriage no matter how small leave his ass!
That's how they will treat you after marriage, they won't provide for you but will expect you to perform all sorts of widely duties. Forget the emotional blackmail men these days are trying to force down your neck with all the gold digger, selling your body for sex nonsense talk.

Vyolet:
Broke guys are the most insecure, they count your every move and read bad meaning to it.
I dated one back then, it was war, we shared almost every responsibility that came up, so there was a day he asked me to give him 100naira so he could give his baby niece, I knew I had such change in my purse but it had fallen inside the bag so I had to search for it, in that process, he was already angry, I found it and gave the little girl. It was war on our way back as he accused me of being a stingy woman who finds it hard to give. I was shocked and began to recount everything I always do, he now said oh, thank God I'm not God, he will be rich some day too and shame me,I cried all night and was in deep thought. We made up again and every went fine, he was always with my ATMs and he knew every penny that came into my Account yet I couldn't complain if he withdrew anything,

Why did you let him do you like that?
And how did you finally break up with him?

OP, the truth is that a man that will provide for you after marriage will definitely show signs of doing so while you are dating. He will give gifts once in a while, no matter how small. If his concern is that you will demand too much when he starts giving then as a sensible person he will complain if you actually start demanding too much instead of witholding everything to the extent of even burning your airtime.

This man will not change after you marry him so help yourself. He will never give you anything unless you ask or beg and if you complain he will remind you that you knew how he was before you married him so why are you complaining?

He won't change, I know this from first hand experience of my parents marriage. My popsy did same with mom and she stayed thinking he will change after marriage but for where? The only thing he gives her money for is food. He is even stingy towards us, his children while he spends wella on himself and his babes outside.

Bluezy13:
"caught" I was just a little boy

LIAR

cristianisraeli:
he could be adding honey sef..but when ur wife fights ur mother she crossed the line and if u fight ur wife mother u cross the line..no matter what a woman should never carry her madness to ones mother..even if ur mother slaps her..

I don't believe the op story 100 percent. he might be lying about his wife fighting his mother. anyone can claim anything on the internet.

[quote author=cristianisraeli post=58561719][/quote]you didnt quote me properly. @your post, how are we sure OP is not adding salt and pepper to his story.

The op himself sounded so one sided when telling his story. I refuse to believe he is as innocent as he is trying to potray himself. Until I hear both sides of the story I am not taking sides.

Why are men attacking evaberry as if they will not give similar advice if op was a woman?

Its not shocking to see that many nairaland men are pedophiles. Supporting sex with children like the perverts they are.

I heard some people have gotten texts.. I applied but I haven't gotten mine.
I know they use connection for npower selection so I wonder if only connected people got text

majekdom2:
attributing being broke to laziness and un intelligence? A society as Nigeria does not see woman equal to men. The earlier many of you try to see that the better and the earlier many of you ladies start to advocate against threads as this the better women rights/ equality manifest. See, whether OP was advising or berating, point is threads as this would always create conflicts and should be avoided. Like I said, nobody needs to tell you to make money or hustle or want something good. Its a Natural instinct. Nobody likes to settle for less, it's all Natural. Now talking down on the less is where the problem. Like I said earlier, the OP would have done better if she didn't attribute certain things to a particular gender. Imagine if the topic was people should understand some people have financial standards and in her post she does not differentiate gender. That's being smart.

@bold,Op never talked down on anybody. She only said she prefers hardworking and ambitious men. I dunno how many times this point will be repeated before yall get it. The only way you feel she is talking down on you is if you are not a hardworking or ambitious person.
And nowhere in this thread was being broke attributed to laziness and unintelligence, it's obvious you didn't read op's post to understand it.
Secondly,
Men start threads nearly everyday telling women how to behave, both before marriage and after marriage and I don't recall seeing any of you telling those men not to differentiate gender when suggesting how people should behave. A girl starts a thread talking about what some women want and suddenly there is a need to not differentiate gender, there is need to address the topic to both men and women. There is need to avoid conflict created by the thread.
Very funny.
Anybody can write any article and attribute it to any gender, it's left for the readers to use common sense and realize that the article can also apply to the other gender not addressed.