₦airaland Forum

4Humanity4All:
Ok, I get your point but lemme ask you. When exactly did men start complaining about their responsibilities? I mean, what century was that?

I said they complain that the pressure of providing is too much for them and their wives need to assist.
It was in this century that they complained.

4Humanity4All:
I'm not in denial. I know what I'm saying. I also feel you are making incorrect generalizations.
How many percentage of men are like what you statd up there? Do you know what goes on in their marriages for you to make such conclusions? Women want more freedom of choice and that's very good but the problem here is,they don't want to be held accountable for the problems that comes with it.
Sorry,men can't save you from the problems that feminism created.
And btw,if both couples can agree to have a house help, problem solved but this blame game will lead no where.

First of all, freedom of choice is a fundamental human right, no adult should be denied freedom of choice. Women were certainly not wrong for wanting it and I don't agree with you that they don't want to be held accountable for the problems that come with it.
Women take more accountability in marriage as far as I'm concerned. Feel free to disagree, that's my opinion. It doesn't change the fact that to be a decent human being, you should assist or help people in your personal life to make things easier for them if they are stressed instead of blaming the fact that they wanted freedom of choice. That's the point I am trying to make.


Feminism is not even responsible for women taking up breadwinning, even before feminism came into Africa, women were farming and trading and doing hair dressing and tailoring and other jobs to support themselves and their families. Women working to support the husband is a centuries old concept. Not something born of feminism.

Men, in the past, also made the societal laws that gave them responsibility of being providers and leaders and are now complaining that the pressure of providing is too much for them so their wives have to assist. Would it be fair to tell them to stop asking for assistance because their forefathers started the tradition of husbands being providers?

4Humanity4All:
Well, the blame game will amount to nothing but just unnecessary back and forth. Children are naturally closer to their mothers than their Dads. Who says an house work is a female's job really.
Then I must say it wasn't the men that wanted the women to contribute financially in the first place. I mean,it wasn't so from the beginning. Feminism made it so and then men's eyes became opened. They started complaining about stuffs they never complained about before. You can't have your cake and eat it.

You're just in denial and you know it.

Even women who are not Feminists are forced to take up providing because their husbands are not providing or cannot provide enough.
In this same thread, many men are saying it's a woman's duty to join in providing instead of waiting for her husband to do so.

You men just like blaming women for everything.

Only a heartless person will see his wife crumbling under the pressure of providing and housechores and refuse to assist her because Feminism did so and so.

4Humanity4All:
Well, no thanks to equality. I guess we can't always eat our cake and have it. Women aren't comfortable with just taking care of children. They want to pursue their careers and that's a good thing but now,it's their cross to bear. Now, they are 'feeling the heat'. It's no fault of the men
Secondly, cheating isn't peculiar to a particular gender. Let's stop this one-sided argument.

It's the fault of the men.
Yes.
If men want women to contribute financially then they should stop regarding housework and childcare as female jobs.
They should help their wives reduce house stress the way they want their wives to help them reduce financial burden.

Blessedmercy8:
Exactly!!!! It's very easy for them to say but you see all of them flexing their muscles here, they will never touch that child when it poos. They'll immediately dump him for the mother and go their way.
Only the woman is supposed to be touching and cleaning poo.

Thank your my dear sister for pointing this out.

Exactly, very selfish people with selfish reasoning. Any girl that wants to settle for a struggling man should prepare herself for premium hardship, especially if she is also breadwinnning because 90% of Nigerian men don't see cooking and cleaning and childcare as their work at home but expect their wives to carry burden of providing.

Olayetan:
Does this absurb urine and doesn't leak excreta?

It doesn't absorb urine and poo very well and causes diaper rash for babies. I have used it for one of my kids before.

Nigerian ladies have been feeling the heat of working 9 to 5 jobs and caring for kids, running home cooking etc, let the men double their hustle and work harder to meet up instead of demanding that young girls must tolerate their poverty and be co-provjders.

The most annoying part is that these men will still cheat and start running after side chics if they make it and become wealthy in future

Imjustagirl:
What if you're not satisfying her. Ask yourself this question. Look for how to improve your sexual prowess. Look for a counselor or get books. Also talk to her and ask her what she wants. How you can satisfy her better.

Hopefully you're both close enough to be able to discuss these things. But marriages these days, strangers sleeping on the same bed. Smh

Or get a mediator. Someone close to her that she can open up to. You should know what works best for your marriage.

Seriously the number of men that can't satisfy their wives is much. A lot of women are dying in silence. Afraid to talk so the men won't say they are loose

Please work on the sex you're giving her. I'm sure that's the problem

Of course this man is not satisfying his wife in bed, he himself knows this.

Why will his wife want the kind of sex that satisfies only husband while she is left wanting?


Op if you like be pained, don't look for how to make your wife achieve orgasm, continue rejecting food and eating in Chicken Republic.

Miagro:
I dont think there will be interview…its straight to apl bt u nid a very strong connection

Thank you.
How strong?

ladyrachy:
Hmm its well oo,after the whole nine month wahala nothing to show for it its painful,dats why I told my doc cervix dilate to 10cm or not make dem kukuma comot the baby I was fed up with the delay

Your own was nothing short of a miracle, your intuition guided you right and you stood your ground. some mothers trust doctors advice and end up regretting, like that my neighbor.

By the way, @thread starter, the
Pregnancy could very well be yours, don't listen to all this internet gynecologists telling you there is no way to detect pregnancy so early, I have been pregnancy multiple times and blood tests can VERY WELL pick up pregnancy hormones in the first two weeks after intercourse.


Carry your cross Mr man. I only pity that your poor fiancee that was looking forward to marrying a responsible man in the near future

Ajofiapero:
Your intent was pure and genuine but you came prepared with enough condoms.

Yeye dey smell....�

Don't mind this lying OP

ladyrachy:
Such sweet sweet BS from August mamas ooo,thank God for the maternal instinct and victories. @Sassy256 ur BS remeinded me of mine, doc was still trying to fix anoda hot drip i no gree again ooo I say make dem comot am. I opted for the cs after them remove baby she no cry no kick just dey cold. If I had continued with that yeye labour stuff my baby for be history today. Hmm devil has surely failed indeed,God will grant the rest mamas safe and easy delivery. Mother and baby alive is our watchword and portion in Jesus me amen.

Na wa oo

Some of these doctors their second names are guess work.
One of my neighbors lost her child because of prolonged Labour, instead of doing CS, they kept inducing and inducing until the unfortunate happened.

Thank God for guiding you to make the right choice.

Sassy256:
My BS!
Hmm, when I say this child is a testimony, believe me..
This is my third baby, I have a boy and girl 7yrs & 6yrs respectively and the gap between them and this child is neither accidental nor planned! Life happened.
I started planning for 3rd missionary journey when my daughter was less than 2 years old, it took 4 good years complete (Dec, 2017 till Dec, 2021) to find out I was pregnant. If you check my earliest post on this moniker, it was my testimony on TTC thread.
This child was conceived when I had almost given up and decided to face other things and a lot of things just fell in place at the same time.
First trimester was war, I was sick everyday, spitting couldn't eat anything but peppersoup (with uda o, if I don't add uda it won't taste well, so I added in moderation) and Nescafé 3 in 1coffee.
Second trimester was so much better but unfortunately my spitting did not stop but at least I slayed small and libido was a bit high, chai!
Third trimester, tiredness, heaviness everything but I still tried to look good and had small libido until around 35weeks when if I see d..k sef I feel like slapping oga.
From 36 weeks, it became a battle just to stand up, I hated being pregnant at this point o (God forgive me), I appreciated the gift, but everything about being pregnant was just not going well with me again from that time.
My midwife checked me at my 38 +4 appt, after asking some questions, I told her my baby was a bit slow as his movements had reduced a bit, hmm oyibo no dey take chances o, in no time I was at maternity assessment unit, next thing doc said you will be induced.
Go to Delivery suite tomorrow 9am.
9am tuesday I was there.
Pessary was started around 11am, nothing happened. 2nd pessary inserted by 5pm and by 11pm it had worked small so they broke my water and I started contracting.
I had already signed birth plan, and pain relief before this time and I requested for epidural, because the pain I felt in the other two pregnancies scarred me for life. They said the anesthesiologist was in theater and gave me gas to start with.
The gas wasn't helping, soon the epidural guy came, set up the stuff, put their needles etc in my back and told me after 30mins i won't feel anymore pain! E no work!
Me and hubby were discouraged, labour wasn't progressing and they wanted to give me syntocin drip. I told hubby I won't take that drip without epidural, I can't go through that pain of that level of induction again.
As God will have it, that anaesthesiologist went home and another one came, this time a young lady, immediately I saw her my spirit calmed down, I was willing to try again and this time it worked.
You need to see me cruising hot drip without an ounce of pain, I was seeing contractions on the monitor but no pain, I even slept off till I was 9cm dilated.
9cm dilated, baby was still high up, not coming down not getting to 10cm.
They said they will try for me to push, baby refused to come down and his heart rate was going down with every contraction but coming back up again after the contraction, everything was clear on the monitor and they were worried why it was happening.
Doc came and gave us 2 options.
1, assisted delivery with forceps and/ or suction cups
2, CS
We gave consent for CS cos even the forceps delivery many times damage babies shoulder and still ends in CS. Turns out cord was wrapped twice around his neck, that's why he couldn't descend and using forceps to pull him out would have been disastrous but Mercy said No!
My baby was brought out crying loud like town crier weighing 3.41kg, healthy with plenty hair. 17th August, my favourite niece's birthday mate too
Indeed, God has done me well, and I am grateful.

I praise and thank God for your healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.
God bless your little one.
I had issue of cord wrapped around the neck for my first child but God came through and I delivered safely. I wonder if there is any way they can scan and see the cord wrapped around neck instead of putting babies through unnecessary distress.

StarryV:
I see you too Mama. I'm not so happy right now. I took two weeks sick leave from work hoping my baby will come before the expiration of the leave so I can apply for my maternity leave immediately as my company doesn't grant maternity leave till after delivery. Now the sick leave I applied is expiring today and no sign of labour yet. This is so annoying. I can't afford to travel back to resume work at 39wks+.
I don't even know what to do right now. Mtcheeeew. If this baby can just come today

Can't you just go ahead and take the maternity leave like that? At most it will take off two weeks from the three months actual maternity leave, better than the stress of traveling back.
Just suggesting though, I am not sure how it works.

How much do you d pay Seun to always put his threads on front page?

Because I don't understand some kind of front page topics again ooo.

It's only on Nairaland that women are liabilities that don't provide anything.
In real life some women are the ones feeding their kids and worthless husbands. Rubbish.

I am just annoyed by some ignorant comments of males here.

Changing diet to cheaper one helps, eat less costly food. Depending on your monthly budget, you can reduce meat to few times a week, but native rice to replace Indomie and spag, those ones can be once in a while. Eat garri swallow with affordable soup like okro and Egusi cooked with kpanla. Eat potatoes, it's cheap in the place where I live, I don't know about your area sha. Just eat more of less costly food.

omotolanibaby:
they dnt know what the Lord has done for them and it really amaze someone is still worried of not getting all this symptoms.how I wish I was in her shoes.

That's the thing, if you don't experience pregnancy difficulties you can never know what God did for you.

Bloomingbud:
This your description fits me exactly, I wonder why me I cant be like those that dont even know they are pregnant until it starts showing

One woman didn't know she was was pregnant till she gave birth while using toilet.

Na wa oo


Life is so unfair sha

Those of you that enjoy stress-free pregnancies, how do you do it?
All my pregnancies really dealt with me, including the present one, from vomiting to bitter mouth to extreme tiredness and eyes turning me, to heartburn, to body pain.

Why is my own hard sef?

Anyway if you are among the easy pregnancy type then thank your God for that.

[quote author=podium post=115024099][/quote]Thanks, I pray for ease to AL those people in need.

sugarcoatted:
Bikonu I need as much people to help report a page on ig, i dont even know whether to be upset with myself or not. So here goes the story. So i have been consciously looking for where to buy all these long free gowns. Na so i carry myself go instagram, who sent me? I came accross this page with over 43k followers.

I dont even know what i was thinking that day, when i ordered. I'm just happy the amount is not much, about 10k. It was after they failed to deliver, i realised i have entered 1 chance . I realized same set of people keep commenting on posts praising them. Any comments of people complaining, gets deleted. Wow. The clothes haven't been delivered till today, since before sallah. I saw comments of people saying no delivery for over 6months. They just have a standby person permanently on Instagram deleting complaints.

Funny thing is, i was bit convinced as its a registered company account i paid to then. I dont know why i didn't pay close attention. Even the address on their google profile is an empty building, no single soul there. Chai

I already count it as my loss but then i dont want other innocent people to fall victim of their scam and i know the only way to get instagram take down that page is if a lot of people report it. So that is why I'm sharing here. Bikonu, help me report that page on instagram. Thats all i ask for, nothing more.

zamorahstore

and

shopzamorah

Thank you my people.
Help me report those pages on Instagram

I have reported them, it's wierd that they have so many followers in the zamora store page, one person I went to university with is even following them.

I don't think transgender activism will become popular in Nigeria. Even uptil now, people don't accept gays and lesbians. This topic is for Americans and Europeans

bukatyne:
Don't worry, you will the light even for feminism

Because it is feminism (the thought that men & women are the same hence need same things) that metamorphosed to acceptance (not occurrence) of homosexuality and now transgender.

What we don't see is that these things are part of the war against womanhood and we unfortunately lead the battle against our essence.

Like you rightly said, transgender affects women/womanhood the most. The irony is that transgender men would never access the natural privileges men have.

I don't think that's what feminism means.

Feminists believe in equality of humans, both males and females, not that men and women are the same.

Equality in value and worth as a human being. Not that one sex is superior or inferior to the other one.

tradingknowled1:
My motivation was never to be Poor!! .. it will surprise you to know that some people enjoy been poor .. They don't / won't explore new things .
They will rather remain stagnant and complain than try new things.

but most motivation are inbuilt.. some people are naturally determined

@bold, very true, such people glorify poverty and are very lazy.

Eagba:
Introverts over think things.

It's a terrible trait to have when people skills are essential like in OP case.

Sleekfingers:
What a ridiculous question, you asked that person......
And you expect that person to answer your question.

How is the question ridiculous? Please if you cannot answer without rudeness and insults, just ignore this quote.

mhiznikky:
I'm collecting 15k per month..with two kids
Please I need a barjob in Ibadan around bodija or sango axis

Please can you break down feeding costs for me? I want to learn to cope with my low salary, thank you. God bless you.

podium:
I earn 15k. With a daughter and wife...

Please tell me how you manage to make do with that amount, what's feeding like? I want to be able to adjust my own feeding so my salary lwill last me. Thank you

The boys on this forum better shut up and stop blaming those innocent girls.

The women are victims in this situation, if not for terrible male leadership they will not be desperate and confused enough to sell a child they suffered to conceive.

Direct your blame to your fellow yahoo Boys and armed robbers that destroy multiple lives for money.

Hello everyone, please who knows cost of antenatal in Bwari general hospital?

Thanks