₦airaland Forum

BA, I delivered safely on the 19th of September, mother and child are doing well.
Sorry for the late update, capoo pls take note.
As for BS, sorry I don't know how to tell stories very well, don't be angry you guys.
Thank God for healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.

Iyajelili:
Stop! So you don't get the name tag feminist or evening newspaper.

Iyajelili:
Yes, he is a man and he talks anyway he wants to mamas here. May I add he always have an opinion on everything and must be right always.

Imagine joining a group you have no business with and displaying crassness and arrogance to the people there.
Typical behavior of a local Nigerian male that thinks he has a right to disrespect every random woman because na man him be.
Rubbish.

Minmin2323:
Good afternoon everyone,I haven't been here since I announced my birth via CS, please I am not understanding recovery process o,I cry everyday like this,now my mum in-law is talking about one very hot pepper and alcohol mixture,I did CS,I don't want what I will drink and die in pain and it is difficult to say no, please has anyone heard of it before for someone that did CS,and again too much concoction has been brought,I am tired already, somebody please answer me,can I take it?

Good evening ma. I did CS some days ago and the doctor gave me pain killer injection that were very effective. I think if it's possible, you should ask him for pain killers to reduce any pain you are feeling.
I wouldn't advice you to take any alcohol or pepper concoction, the pain will pass. My first CS, I was in pain for almost 10 days, but this one the pain isn't as much, just ask your doctor for pain relief medication.

Sorry about all this. I wish you quick recovery.

Iyajelili:
Oh! He's always condescending in his posts and I just don't understand why. Maybe a bully or narcissist at best.

Oh, that's a man?

I didn't even know. What is he looking for in pregnancy thread for heaven's sake?
And then proceeding to cause trouble and type rude words to women there.
Nonsense.

Bunny19:
God bless u for this. I noticed this is always his pattern, replying and giving advice in a slightly rude manner. It is well

I noticed it too, no be small thing.

Jjyesp:
Please we can be corrective and helpful without being condescending. She has already realised her mistake. Let's be guided biko.

Well said.

I don't blame you nairaland men. Women are the ones behaving as if marriage is life and death for them that's why men feel they are doing you a favor by marrying you.

Blessedmercy8:
See d her away one time because she'll still leave if and when she gets the chance. So?? Get her, before she gets you.

Yes, before comes for me, I said what I said. You can't be with one man, spending his money and eating his food and be professing love yo another. That is witch craft.

Do you know that this same OP was also flirting with different girls before he saw the chat where his wife was flirting with another man?
Adultery is very very wrong, let's not overlook for one person and punish the other person for it. God did not give men go ahead to cheat and say only women should be faithful..

Can you imagine this OP, so you have been chatting with random girls but jus one chat with another guy you saw in your wife's phone made you spread the news round the country.

Why didn't you channel that romantic chatting to your wife instead of random girls to keep the love alive in your marriage?

Afodot0022:
At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

.

https://www.nairaland.com/6814346/wife-refused-swear-she-does

Ebonygeek:
(when I was younger, my dad used to make my mom check mine manually. It was disgusting and embarrassing to say the least). Using harsh and stern words might not work either

Eeewww, I would have hated my parents for life of they did something like this to me.

First of all, you have already damaged her reputation for life because of chat, you don't know if she even has anything intimate with the guy but you disgraced her completely, trust me, her pastor will tell his wife and even close friends and they will in turn spread the news and chat, and they will even add fisi and Jara and gossip about how she sleeps around.

Just divorce her because you have ruined her life.

The problem with a lot of Nigerian men is that they don't take women and women's needs serious, women need love affirmations regularly, hearing you say you love and care for her, your being caring etc, even after marriage many women love to recieve things like this just like how men need sex and intimacy to be happy in marriage. That's why religious books like the Bible asks the wife to submit to her husband while the husband shows love to his wife.

But African men think because they are providing so they don't need to add anything romantic to their wives lives, imagine if a wife thinks she is always keeps the house clean, cooks well and takes good care of kids so she doesn't need to give her husband sex. That attitude will really anger the husband but funny enough men think it's okay to stop romantic treatment after marriage because "no campaign after election" .

Op divorce your wife and let her move on or even relocate from that town where you ruined her life and reputation. The trust in your marriage is dead anyway.

Kobojunkie:
No be the same thing men dey claim dem dey do be that...they love their wives even though they cheat on them?

These people's hypocrisy does not surprise me anymore

Children get tired of toys easily, she will get bored of that one soon. Na their way.

But try to allow her play with other kids so that she Wil develop social and language skills very fast and be sharp.

Fiscus105:
But u first demonized men .


In as much I'm not arguing men providing in whatever way, I counter ur mentions blaming men as well
.

Where did I demonize or blame men for anything? What are you even writing?

Fiscus105:
The mothers in 50s, 60s are they not mothers? Can they turn back of their children against their dad?




Even 30 and 40, how many doing tangible job that is reliable? Money majority of them earnings they send it out from their immediate family down to their mother that has turned their back against their dad

Mothers do majority of childcare and housekeeping and in many cases, also contribute financially. There is no industry or organisation you don't find women working in today. That is outside of petty jobs like trading and hairdressing and tailoring, etc women also do. I don't know where the idea that women don't contribute financially came from.

In religious books both Bible and Quran, men are told to provide while women submit and obey, I don't know why women are being demonized today for not providing like men when religious and societal laws set standards a lot of people live by.

yemmit90:
It is result jealousy of old age. Men age like wine, while women age quickly due to stress from child bearing and sometime become shapeless. For this reason, they often acuse their husband of having extramarital affairs with young women. Some complain of lack of attention from old guy. In order to be happy or boost their confidence once again, they find solace in their children by making sure they occupied the void in their hearts at detriment of their husbands.

Men don't age like wine, I don't know why you guys like saying that thing.

Nobody likes an old, wrinkled, balding, pot bellied guy. The reason young girls follow them is for the money they dash them.as sugar daddies.

Op, explain to her that your health is at risk for not sleeping well and eating late, no need to shout or use force when talking, explain that if she does not adjust her ways and start making dinner on time, you would have to buy your food outside so you can sleep well instead of waiting for her to finish cooking before you sleep everyday.

If what you wrote is true, then I must say that behavior of constantly cooking late is quote inconsiderate of her.


If she is going to disregard your health and keep cooking late and depriving you of sleep, then I will advice you to put your welfare and wellbeing first, eat outside and call her to not bother cooking dinner that day. If she wants to be angry then so be it, turn your attention away from her childish anger and take care of your health.

As for kids disturbing you at night, if you have an extra room, go in there and lock the door when you want to sleep, let her deal with their crying and learn to discipline them to sleep early, because you attempted to teach them but she picked offence as usual.

As for sex, I don't think your wife enjoys sex with you. You might think you are satisfying her but a lot of women pretend to enjoy sex just to make their spouses happy. Ask her to be truthful and find out why she doesn't like sex with you, work on a solution together, even if it involves getting female viagra or seeing a doctor.

What a topic.

And look at the way the senseless mod worded it as insultive as possible before posting it on front page.

ireneidiva:
What made you think he was 'highest paid' before their wedding? Since you've decided to conclude that she married him for money.

Is it not nairaland men?

They must make out everything to be a woman's fault, even when their reasoning makes no sense.

Op, I think your hubby is mentally ill and not even aware of how bad his behavior is. If you choose to leave, fine, but he will never understand why you left and will see you as a terrible person.
To make life easier for yourself in the main time, and you should hire helps to assist you with chores like cleaning, they can come and go three or two times a week. You can also set aside a day to cook in bulk and keep in fridge to reduce the stress of daily cooking.
Also, please try to overlook and forgive the things he does because he is clearly struggling mentally, try to be patient with him. The truth about mental illness is that the person suffering from it does not even know the impact of their behavior on those around them. A
Look on the bright side please, he provides and still gives you gifts even though unfortunately, he does not help around the house. Many Nigerian men are like that.
Very many.
They were raised to think house chores are not their duty and that providing money is everything. At least he provides and takes care of his kids, in Nigeria, a lot of men don't even provide and they don't help at home either. Just useless all round.
Try and choose a day when he is in a good mood and tell him what you want in a cool and soothing manner. Ask for occasional assistance with housechores and that you will like for him to take initiative once in a while.
I hope this advice was helpful, I wish you joy and success in your life.





This marriage palaver sef, too many headaches that make it not worth it in the end. Mtsccheeww

UmmuFarrah:
God has indeed been wonderful. Easy and safe delivery to all of us. There will be no loss whatsoever Insha Allah

Amin, I pray for safe delivery for all expecting moms.

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B

Use iron sponge. Scour the sink with it and any good Detergent.

This man is an evil person.

So he wants his wife to be unhappy and frustrated with his keeping late nights and calling other women in her presence?

The fact that she is not bothered is making him upset? Later someone will say women are the ones enjoying inside marriage.

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4Humanity4All:
It's was in the century of the third wave feminism. Feminism opened everyone's eyes but the male and female. I guess the females are getting more than they bargained for now.
Splitting bills during dates and after marriage wasn't part of the objective of feminism,that I'm sure of, but men are starting to speak up. Now, everyone is feeling the heat. We need to start discussing needless issues now.
I try to avoid blame games but this time around,I blame it on feminism. Equality ìsonu.

Lol, splitting bills is actually something a lot of Feminists advocate for, it's not true that it was not part of feminist objectives.
Everyone is feeling the heat of economy because of mismanagement and corruption by the males that were in power.
They created a system that made women dependent on them by claiming that women should stay home and submit while men provide but now they are complaining. They should blame their forefathers for creating a system that backfires against males.

I blame it on men thinking they are above chores. Feminism was never the reason women work and support their families.