₦airaland Forum

I can give you some of my weight

It's funny though, I don't seem to loose any of the weight no matter i eat little and exercise, and some don't seem to get enough weight,
We should still try to be happy with ourselves. we are the way we are
Good luck with your weight gaining though! I can't really tell you good tips, cos my weight is mostly genetic, and I eat less than most, so i have no idea how to gain weight on purpose,

The freedom in being a single,
You don't need to worry about giving attention to someone all the time, and you can relax, and just focus on yourself and what's best for you and not what's best for the relationship,
Everyone should be single for a longer while. You learn alot about yourself,
I find it more difficult to be in a relationship than being single,
I just don't seem to stay single too long,

It's funny. You are saying that nigerian men want their girls to be independent. And then when they get an independent woman, they can't handle it and think she is stubborn and "acting like a man". So what is it that you want exactly?

Hello Patsy
Sorry to hear about your situation, I'll give you some thoughts of mine here, but hope you'll be able to come with a good solution to this all.

First, even there are kids from a previous marriage, it doesn't mean that the ex-wife is part of the family. It's good that the man and his exwife has good relation when considering the kid, but there must be some boundaries. Apparantly your husband doesn't realise this. I'd say try to talk to him still about it, without accusing him, but explain how it makes you feel, and tell him that you refuse to feel like a "second wife". If he doesn't care about your feelings over to the ex wife, then I think you should really consider a divorce.

The second thing that makes Me worried at least, is his jealousy for you. A little jealomatteusy is normal, but when the husband starts limiting your life, it's usually a matter of that he doesn't trust you, and he doesn't trust himself or have good self esteem, and also, he might be cheating on you himself, because he is so afraid that you will, (if you get my logic behind this one, )

However, I do not know your husband, so better is that you talk to him yourself. If he doesn't understand your points and if the marriage seriously starts seeming like living in hell, then splitting up might be actually the option, But try other things first.

Depends which method you want to use, If you want to start from the scratch and do lots of drawing and painting on the cover by yourself, I'd go with Corel painter
Photoshop is better for photomanipulation, but you can do cool stuff with it too. Corel painter is extremely awesome if you have a virtual drawing tablet and pen though,

Hmh, I think Nigerian guys are very sensitive and caring, even so much that I haven't got used to all the attention yet.
I think those kind of behaviour things change culturally, Where I come from, guys do nothing for a lady, unless you specifically ask(if not even then). A big girl can take care of herself and so on, So I'm happy about my nigerian men

Hey all

I'm me, from Scandinavia, Finland, Born there in the town of Santa Claus, ice and snow live there but seen the world and wanting to see more,

Quality time. I appreciate when someone gives me time from their schedule, makes me feel loved.
Touch. I like touching, however when it comes to romantic relationships, touch doesnt always mean that someone loves me,
words of affirmation. sometimes. however, people lie and can say whatever they want without actually meaning them, and different people mean different things with words,

I dont care for gifts, they are something you give if you want to, but im not particularly materialistic,
Service is probably the way I show love to others,

I suppose the person who wrote this topic has read the book

Hmm it's nonesense that you suffer from not having a circumcation, If that was the case, most European population would be suffering right now.
In my country they circumcise only for medical reasons (such as too tight foreskin etc, ) , I dont see the difference one way or another, Do it, if it pleases you, don't do it if you don't want to.

Taking a second look at how many Nairalanders, there is at the last count you will notice we are almost 133,000. How we wan manage this unique/intelligent/crazy group. Well my suggestion is that we find a way to accomodate all interests. Lets hold the bash in diffrent locations, say- Abuja, Lagos, Port harcourt and the Uk. For the logistics, Administrator na your headache be that. But then suggestions would be appreciated on how to really know that true Nairaland users for the gbedu.

One more thing, I think december should be an appropriate date and the party should hold at the same time at all locations. What do you guys think?

Peace I second this.
Party would be cool and if there were more locations it would be easier for more people to join the party
Umm, would non-nigerian nairalanders be welcome to, ?

Oh man, has big brother spread EVERYWHERE?!
I think it's the dumbest show ever,
And, the only reason it's so succesful is that people enjoy spying on other people (and want to see who will sleep with who next). The neverending human curiousity
Here they show it quite late, so children most likely won't be up watching it anyway, ?

@ima
No, Im not 100% sure. I will try to check that somehow though, And he hasn't even been here for a month, this is something that also bothers me a bit,
I'm going to be careful, and I don't trust him 100% yet.

@dakmanzero (for some reason my quote button doesn't work now, )
Woah, if I had read your reply years ago, I would've been saved from many misunderstandings
The culture really is different in this way. Finnish culture goes to the other extreme,where "I love you" is said only when you are getting married(well, Im exaggerating a little, ) and in the early stages it's normal for people to pretend that they're not interested at all(but you have to know how to read between the lines )
Hmm, if guys there just keep trying harder, when you reject them, how do you make the "no" go through in the first place then, ?
Thanks for your insightful and interesting post dakmanzero

And yes, I know some people can go very far to get the papers. But I'm not planning to marry him right now, so that would be a problem for the later stage, However I agree, that it would be good for me to check the paper situation, And warning is appreciated What do I do with jsut nice advice and words if they are actually not the reality,

PS. and no, Im not filthy rich

kamozini:
panty or no undies, u hv every rite to be cautious, why is he in such a rush?even if he's being pressured to settle down, he should take it easy.dnt allow yourself to be pressured especially when u hv misgivings.hav a tok with him n let him kno he should relax n go easy.if he loves u like he says he does he'll take your feelings seriously and do what he can to make u feel comfortable wit him.good luck

Yes, Im thinking this too Thanks kamozini!

mishooo:
Yeah, you sure are right there!! A matured guy can always slow then when it comes to the one you LOVE. Cheers !!!

You are so right Cheers.

mishooo:
If you really love him, all you've gotta do is to re-assure him by words and actions. He'll definitely treat you well (being a Naija guy). But just get to KNOW him well.

Heh, but I can't know yet whether I love him or not, I've only known him for a week! I'm interested in him, and want to get to know him, and I can see there's potential for something serious in the future.
And you're right, he treats me very well,
I think, that if he can't accept that I want to go slower, then he must be having some backmotives in his head that he wants from me, I don't see another reason for someone wanting to rush?

jay bee:
@ Nannu
That's definitely the way forward. You need to be sure if he his who you want (this is the most important thing me think) as it will be very difficult to detect if someone really loves you.
Ball is in your court. You own the key to your own destiny and you are definitely welcome to take a slow lane

Exactly, and that's why I want to take my time, to know what kind of person he is. But there's a possibility that he will understand it wrong when I try to slow down,

mishooo:
Hey then that settles the panty thing. but i still feel you should tell him to slow things down a little because if you rush in there's a high probability you rush out pretty soon. Get to know his habbits and vices first. I just believe in the Test of time since you guys arent having any 'holds barred'.

That's true I think also it's important to get to know the other person better, before you can claim to love someone or even plan anything serious,

mishooo:
If you are sure he's gotten his papers, then i think he doesnt want to lose you to another person.Maybe you are too beautiful for him to keep his eyes off you.Maybe his people are asking him to settle down on time.Maybe its the intensity of the Love thats making him act like that.


Meanwhile, you can still tell him to slow things down for you. It aint bad that way!!

This is an interesting thought, and if not quite positive outlook of it too. It's not so  impossible thought that he is afraid of losing me to another person. I can't tell whether I'm extremely beautiful or not, but I have options in guys, And he knows that. so it's possible, I've also been considering that he might also feel the pressure to settle down, which makes it some of a problem tho, because I'm still quite young and the idea of settleing at the moment makes me more uneasy than anything, :p
Intensity of love, or maybe infatuation? I know that sometimes it makes people do crazy things.
Thanks for your comment

Raymond88:
Isn't this generalization? boys will be boys - Nigerian or not!

Yes, it was a generalization, I know not all nigerian, probably not even most of them are like that I just used it as a catcher in lack of a better one,

ima1:
lol typical naija guy, they r all that way, they fall in love too quick but r u sure he has all his papers, or maybe he just wants to hit it

So in your experience, nigerian guys tend to be fast in their moves, ? I'm pretty sure that he has his papers, he showed me them but, I will check that out to be sure. Thanks for comment.

jay bee:
@ Nannu
Definitely not a "Nigerian guys" thing. I agree with you, it's a bit strange to be proclaiming love for you only after a week of knowing each other.
Makes it even hard to understand his motives since he his not in need of papers (This you really need to confirm, not that their is anything wrong in it as long as he his for real and your feeling towards each other is absolutely mutual)
Might be that he wants to get into your pants and using that magic word will make the process easier with minimum fuss.
Advice which you probably already know is that you guys have to get to know each other before he can even start mentioning that word. Some people find it hard to differentiate between likeness and love. It is quite possible that he likes fanices you but believe me it doesn't amount to love.

Yes, sorry about my generalisation at the subject, that was just meant to be a catcher, not that I think all nigerian guys hurry.
I have seen his papers, he has a permanent permission to stay here, and he is a student, which is not usual to get a permanent permission, don't know why he has got it though. However, I could check this out still, just to make sure.
Hmm and if he wanted to get just in my pants then he would've disappeared already I think,
thanks for your comment, I definitely agree that we need to get to know each other better. And I need to talk to him about this again.

Unfortunately, I must admit this is one of those "white chicks dating nigerian guys" post, But I'd love to hear some ideas and views from nigerian people, girls and guys. I'm here mainly to hear experiences, thoughts and advice from people,
I live in Finland(if you don't know where it is, it's a country in northern Europe, :p) and I'm a native Finnish. I've recently got to know a nigerian guy. He is a bit older than me. We've known for a week now, and I'm a bit confused with him rushing things. This might be a cultural difference (as Finnish people tend to be shy and reserved when it comes to relationships), but I'd like to hear your thoughts. We've known such a little time and he already is confessing me his love, saying things as "I love you", and being very intense with keeping in touch with me
Now, I don't think he is after papers or something like that, because he's basically got them already. But it makes me a bit suspicious of someone moving so fast, Could it be his age that he's moving so fast (he's 27, ) or something else?
He is a nice guy and I'm interested in getting to know him, but he doesn't seem to understand that I want to "take it slowly".
Anyway, just want to hear your thoughts, Good or bad, bring it on,

Hmm and so many guys seem to want a lady with brains. But my experience is that once guys meet a lady with brain, they either run away, find that girl to be "disrespective" or can't handle her,
So what's good to have beauty and brains when so many men can't handle clever girls,
You want an intelligent girl, but no man wants a girl who is more intelligent than her,
Or prove me wrong [color=#770077][/color]